--- title: Work Life Hack: How to Balance 2 Careers in a Family description: It has to be an ongoing conversation canonical: https://time.com/3966185/family-career-balance/ author: TIME article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-07-22T16:42:25.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:45:16.018Z article:section: Ideas og:title: How to Balance 2 Careers in a Family og:description: It has to be an ongoing conversation og:url: https://time.com/3966185/family-career-balance/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: TIME og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: How to Balance 2 Careers in a Family twitter:description: It has to be an ongoing conversation twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production --- # How to Balance 2 Careers in a Family > Sponsored content. 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Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. ## Video: How Do You Balance Your Work Life and Home Life? [Watch (HLS stream): How Do You Balance Your Work Life and Home Life?](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/0KCso1uq.m3u8) (1:09)  _Published 2015-06-14. We asked people on the streets of New York City how they manage to keep their home lives and work lives separate, if at all._ by [Michael Howard / Fatherly](https://time.com/author/fatherly/) ## Michael Howard / Fatherly Contributor Jul 22, 2015 4:42 PM UTC by [Michael Howard / Fatherly](https://time.com/author/fatherly/) ## Michael Howard / Fatherly Contributor Jul 22, 2015 4:42 PM UTC If your family isn’t just “me, the kid, and my partner,” but, rather, “me, the kid, my partner, and both our careers,” then you’re probably in the midst of a Flying Wallendas-like balancing act trying to keep everything on track. But figuring out whose career should take precedence in a family is never simply about dollars and cents. “\[It\] can change, day to day,” says certified coach [Rachael Ellison](http://www.rachaelellison.com/), whose practice focuses on strategic business consulting, executive coaching, and countless discussions about this exact topic. When talking through it with two working parents, she encourages them not to think about it as a one-off decision but an ongoing conversation about “who should lean into their career and who should lean back.” And, if you feel weird subjecting your marriage and career to therapy with a certified coach, remember: “It’s not therapy. It’s a planning process.” [_Nobody with kids has time to read the whole Internet. Sign up here for_ Time for Parents_, a weekly newsletter with only the worthwhile stuff._](http://time.com/t4parents) **Stop Making Assumptions** “These are conversations that people avoid having,” Ellison says. “Everyone kind of expects that the other one understands whose career should take precedence.” If one of you has agreed to stay home and put a career on pause, have you talked about how long they’re comfortable doing that? If one of you is working more to accommodate a paused career and missing events or milestone because of it, have you talked about whether or not it’s worth it? If the answer to questions like that is “Kinda?” then you have a bumpy road ahead. Even if you’re the next president and she’s Betty Draper, you both need to communicate what the other wants and expects. **Focus On The 5 Ps** These conversations are complicated because they affect your time, relationships, even where you live — so Ellison recommends breaking them down into 5 key areas: * _Parental_ — Kid-related. Who’s packing lunches? Which days are soccer practice? Does the kid prefer bath time or doctor’s appointments with a particular parent (be honest)? * _Professional_ — Work-related. Do you plan on moving if you land that dream job in Dallas next year? Why is your dream job in Dallas? Reconsider Dallas. * _Personal_ — Whatever keeps each of you sane: golf, the spa, running, [The Annual Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw](http://www.wiscowchip.com/). These things are essential and need to be accounted for. * _Partnership_ — Lovelife. Don’t let the kid suck all the oxygen out of the conversation. Factor in the time and financial considerations to maintain the things you need as a couple, because the conversations get way more complicated if you’re divorced. * _Practical_ — Everything else. Does gentrification mean you’re going to get priced out of your neighborhood? Will your aging in-laws need to move in with you? Is that a goiter developing on the dog? **Take The Long View** If your wife is a teacher, plan on childrearing duties shifting around her in the summers. If you’re a CPA, plan on shifting household duties around, say, every spring for the rest of your life. Is the kid about to start kindergarten, and how does that affect your finances? Does one of you want to go back to school for that MBA? Get a sense of not just the year-in, year-out stuff, but what your lives will look like in five, 10, even 20 years out. **Take The Short View** “Breaking down those big-picture issues into manageable topics is what’s most important here,” Ellison says. “As long as both want to/need to stay in the workforce, then you’re ultimately making a decision around how the little things are covered.” Who makes breakfast in the morning? Who’s doing drop-offs and pickups from school on Tuesdays, and should that change on Wednesdays? Once there’s a general understanding of each other’s future, navigating the daily hurdles comes easier. Keep in mind this is a “process,” Ellison advises,”not a decision that’s made categorically and finally.” One last bit of advice: Nothing ruins date night like inventorying five years of ambitions and obstacles in order to assign spousal duties, so carve out a specific time to have these conversations. Like dental exams, appointments with the proctologist, or that [conversation about porn](https://www.fatherly.com/how-to-talk-to-children-about-porn-1181654613.html) you’ll soon have with your kid, it can be painful, but it’s for the best. _This_ [_article_](https://www.fatherly.com/how-to-talk-to-your-spouse-about-whose-career-is-more-important-1183761005.html) _originally appeared on_ [_Fatherly_](http://www.fatherly.com) _More from Fatherly:_ * [How A Nightly ‘Third Shift’ Can Ruin Your Life](https://www.fatherly.com/how-to-manage-the-third-shift-of-work-after-your-kids-go-to-bed-1141742842.html?utm%5Fsource=Time&utm%5Fmedium=Post&utm%5Fterm=none&utm%5Fdevice=all&utm%5Fcampaign=Syndication) * [The New Science Of Happiness And What It Means For Parents](https://www.fatherly.com/summary-are-you-fully-charged-by-tom-rath-1219837073.html?utm%5Fsource=Time&utm%5Fmedium=Post&utm%5Fterm=none&utm%5Fdevice=all&utm%5Fcampaign=Syndication) * [The 50 Best Places To Work For New Dads](https://www.fatherly.com/the-50-best-places-to-work-for-new-dads-1114879106.html?utm%5Fsource=Time&utm%5Fmedium=Post&utm%5Fterm=none&utm%5Fdevice=all&utm%5Fcampaign=Syndication) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3966185/family-career-balance/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3966185/family-career-balance/"},"headline":"How to Balance 2 Careers in a Family","datePublished":"2015-07-22T16:42:25.000Z","dateModified":"2026-08-04T07:45:16.018Z","description":"It has to be an ongoing conversation","url":"https://time.com/3966185/family-career-balance/","keywords":["Family","Living","society","Psychology","Parenting","Marriage","Relationship","career"],"thumbnailUrl":"","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Michael Howard / Fatherly"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/family/","name":"Family"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3966185/family-career-balance/","name":"How to Balance 2 Careers in a Family"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"How Do You Balance Your Work Life and Home Life?","description":"We asked people on the streets of New York City how they manage to keep their home lives and work lives separate, if at all.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/0KCso1uq/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2015-06-14T18:48:12.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/0KCso1uq.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/3966185/family-career-balance/","duration":"PT1M9S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/3966185/family-career-balance/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```