Kristen Stewart's August Marie Claire cover hits newsstands July 21.
July 13, 2015 3:23 PM EDT

Kristen Stewart is done apologizing for being herself.

“Lately, I’ve been doing less of the ‘I’m sooooo sorry.’ And more of the ‘No. F-ck. Jesus,’” she tell Marie Claire in the new August cover story that explores how the actress survived the intense and often cruel public scrutiny that came with her Twilight breakout.

“I lit my universe on fire and I watched it burn,” she tells the magazine. “Speaking very candidly, it was a really traumatic period in my early 20s that kick-started something in me that was a bit more feral … I’m really proud that I am able to move forward and not fall into every mental crater. That’s a new thing for me. Age has made me smarter and calmer. And it is f-cking awesome.”

Stewart also opens up about a period of self-sabotage that occurred between the ages of 15 and 20. “I was constantly anxious,” she says of that time in her life. “I was kind of a control freak. If I didn’t know how something was going to turn out, I would make myself ill, or just be locked up or inhibited in a way that was really debilitating.”

[Marie Claire]

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