--- title: 4 Parenting Tips for Healthy, Smart, Happy Children description: Remember to W.A.C.C. your kids canonical: https://time.com/3924337/wacc-parenting-tips/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-06-22T04:01:29.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-05-11T04:49:36.552Z article:section: Ideas og:title: 4 New Parenting Tips That Will Make Your Kids Awesome og:description: Remember to W.A.C.C. your kids og:url: https://time.com/3924337/wacc-parenting-tips/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt04c5efb02ec9d7fd/698854df3c16393e0945868a/537632915-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=1080&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: boys-running-beach-toy-plane og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 4 New Parenting Tips That Will Make Your Kids Awesome twitter:description: Remember to W.A.C.C. your kids twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt04c5efb02ec9d7fd/698854df3c16393e0945868a/537632915-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=1080&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # 4 New Parenting Tips That Will Make Your Kids Awesome ## Video: Attachment Parenting: Dr. Sears and the Origins of a Movement [Watch (HLS stream): Attachment Parenting: Dr. Sears and the Origins of a Movement](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/yMNteD4K.m3u8) (4:11)  _Published 2012-05-10. TIME reporter Kate Pickert explains how 'The Baby Book' author Dr. Sears' controversial ideas on parenting have trickled into the mainstream_ by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jun 22, 2015 4:01 AM UTC  Boys running along beach with a toy plane Boys running along beach with a toy planeGetty Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jun 22, 2015 4:01 AM UTC Parenting tips are everywhere but most have zero legitimate research behind them. So what does science have to say? And how can you remember what’s important so you actually use it? **Remember to WACC your kids.** No, I’m not saying to hit your kids. “WACC” is a good acronym to help you keep in mind 4 things that come up in the research again and again: * **Work on yourself** * **Autonomy** * **Communicate** * **Community** These four things can make a big difference in whether you end up saving college money or bail money. Let’s break down the how and why on these parenting tips so that your kids end up healthy, smart and happy. [Sign up here for TIME’s weekly roundup of the best parenting stories from anywhere](http://time.com/t4parents). ## 1) Work On Yourself This is what many of the parenting books ignore — and it may be the most important. Want happy kids? Then make sure you’re keeping yourself joyful. Happy parents make for happy kids and parental depression causes child behavior problems. Via [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00338QEN8/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00338QEN8&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- And this is not merely due to genetics. Via [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00338QEN8/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00338QEN8&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- So other than feeling good about you own life, what’s key here? That ol’ [work-life balance](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/03/work-life-balance/). In fact, what’s the #1 thing kids wish for when it comes to parents? They wish you were less tired and stressed. Via [The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089LOHHO/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0089LOHHO&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- Your stress isn’t just your stress — it’s their stress too. When you’re stressed out it hurts your children’s intelligence and immune systems. Via [The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089LOHHO/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0089LOHHO&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- Yup, you are a role model. So the first step to taking good care of your kids is taking care of you. Via [100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC1PHK/?tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- (For more on the research-backed ways to raise happy kids, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/02/happy-kids/).) Okay, so you’re taking good care of yourself. What else do many of the parenting tips miss? ## 2) Autonomy Tiger moms and helicopter parents: your children thrive when they have some room to be individuals. Kids do better when they make plans themselves or at least have a say. You should even allow them to pick their own punishments. It creates greater motivation to obey the rules. Via [The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089LOHHO/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0089LOHHO&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- Which kids say they like going to school? The ones who get to pick which extracurricular activities they’re involved in. Via [100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC1PHK/?tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- You don’t have to overschedule kids or be involved in every moment of their lives. Unstructured play has huge positive effects on children. Via [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00338QEN8/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00338QEN8&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- (For more scientific tips on how to make your kids smarter, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/03/how-to-make-your-kids-smarter/).) So everybody always talks about communicating with kids… but what’s that _actually_ mean? ## 3) Communication **You know much** **_real conversation_** **happens at family dinner? 10 minutes.** I interviewed [Bruce Feiler](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/happiest-families/), author of the New York Times bestseller, [The Secrets of Happy Families](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089LOHHO/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0089LOHHO&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=DFAPAT7WKYK3ZRS2) and he said the research shows most of the talk at the dinner table is “Take your elbows off the table” and “Please pass the ketchup.” So what’s the best way to make use of those 10 minutes? Here’s [Bruce](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/happiest-families/): --- > “” --- And I asked Bruce what he would recommend if he could only give one piece of advice. He said: “Set aside time to talk about what it means to be a part of your family.” Ask yourself: “What are your family values?” In business-speak: _Develop a mission statement for your family._ Here’s [Bruce](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/happiest-families/): --- > “” --- [**Research**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/10/how-to-have-a-happy-family/) **shows whether a kid knows their family history was the** **_number one predictor of a child’s emotional well-being_** **.** Here’s [Bruce](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/happiest-families/): --- > “” --- Not having family dinner together? You might want to start. It has huge benefits. Via [The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089LOHHO/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0089LOHHO&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- Doesn’t work for your family’s schedule? It doesn’t have to be dinner. And it doesn’t have to be every night. Via [The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089LOHHO/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0089LOHHO&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- I know what some of you are thinking: isn’t all that talking going to mean more fighting? Yes. And that’s a good thing. Moderate conflict with teens produces better adjustment than none. Via [NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446504130/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0446504130&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- When I interviewed [Po Bronson](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/01/how-to-be-a-better-parent/), author of the bestseller [NurtureShock](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446504130/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0446504130&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20), he said more arguing means less lying: --- > “” --- **And what’s a quick trick for getting your kid to be honest? Po has an answer.** **Say:** **_“I’m about to ask you a question. But before I do that, will you promise to tell the truth?”_** Via [NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446504130/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0446504130&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- (For more on how to have a happy family, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/10/how-to-have-a-happy-family/).) Final tip. What else do you need to do? Well, really, it has nothing to do with you… ## 4) Community Tons of research shows religious families are [happier](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/08/here-are-the-things-that-are-proven-to-make-y/). Why is that? Further study has shown it’s the friends that a religious community provides. A community of ten supportive friends makes families happier. Via [The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089LOHHO/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0089LOHHO&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- What influences your kids more than you do? Their [peer group](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/11/parents-matter/). We usually only talk about [peer pressure](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/06/are-your-friends-the-easiest-route-to-self-im/) when it’s a negative but research shows more often than not, it’s actually a [positive](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/01/how-to-be-a-better-parent/). Here’s what [Po](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/01/how-to-be-a-better-parent/) had to say: --- > “” --- And your kids need more family in their lives than just their parents and siblings. Via [100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC1PHK/?tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- If you had to make sure one family member was consistently there for the young ones, who should it be? Grandmom. Scores of studies show the incredible benefits that grandmom brings, like teaching kids to cooperate and to be compassionate. Children who spend time with their grandparents are more social, do better in school and show more concern for others. Via [The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089LOHHO/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0089LOHHO&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- (For more of the latest research on good parenting skills, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/11/good-parenting-skills/).) Time to round all this up and add in that last ingredient that makes your kids love you back. ## Sum Up Remember to WACC your kids: * **Work on yourself**: Increasing your own happiness and reducing your stress have big effects on your kids. * **Autonomy**: Want them to be successful adults? Make sure they have a say in what they do — starting now. * **Communicate**: Family meals make a big difference. Tell them their family history. More arguing means less lying. * **Community**: Their peers have more influence they you do. Make sure Grandmom is around if you want compassionate children. One last thing you need to keep in mind if you want a close relationship with the kiddos: Love. Don’t just be guider, protector and enforcer. Kids are nearly 50% more likely to feel close to those who show them affection. Via [100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC1PHK/?tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- They’re the next generation. They have the potential to be better than we are, so give them every chance. As Dr. Seuss said: _“Adults are obsolete children.”_ **Join over 190,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.** **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/06/parenting-tips/)**_._** ### These Kids Want to Show You Their Favorite Toys  Ralf, 4 Riga, Latvia Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Allenah, 4 El Nido, Philippines Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Maudy, 3 Kalulushi, Zambia Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Watcharapon, 3 Bangkok, Thailand Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Reania, 5 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Pavel, 5 Kiev, Ukraine Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Bethsaida, 6 Port-au-Prince, Haiti Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Julia, 3 Tirana, Albania Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Abel, 4 Nopaltepec, Mexico Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Shotaro, 5 Tokyo, Japan Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Noel, 5 South Dallas, Texas Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE  Roxane, 5 Paris, France Gabriele Galimberti—INSTITUTE Related posts: [How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/) [How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/) [New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3924337/wacc-parenting-tips/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3924337/wacc-parenting-tips/"},"headline":"4 New Parenting Tips That Will Make Your Kids Awesome","datePublished":"2015-06-22T04:01:29.000Z","dateModified":"2026-05-11T04:49:36.552Z","description":"Remember to W.A.C.C. your kids","url":"https://time.com/3924337/wacc-parenting-tips/","keywords":["Family","Psychology","Parenting","Children"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt04c5efb02ec9d7fd/698854df3c16393e0945868a/537632915-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt04c5efb02ec9d7fd/698854df3c16393e0945868a/537632915-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"boys-running-beach-toy-plane","caption":"boys-running-beach-toy-plane","creditText":"Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/family/","name":"Family"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3924337/wacc-parenting-tips/","name":"4 New Parenting Tips That Will Make Your Kids Awesome"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Attachment Parenting: Dr. Sears and the Origins of a Movement","description":"TIME reporter Kate Pickert explains how 'The Baby Book' author Dr. Sears' controversial ideas on parenting have trickled into the mainstream","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/yMNteD4K/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2012-05-10T05:12:03.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/yMNteD4K.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/3924337/wacc-parenting-tips/","duration":"PT4M11S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/3924337/wacc-parenting-tips/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```