April 13, 2015 6:13 PM EDT

Tom Brady’s latest off-season headline might be his worst: his opening pitch before the Red Sox’s home opener against the Nationals at Fenway Park on Monday was quite, quite bad.

One more time, from the stands:

Calling it a “one-hopper” even seems generous. The quarterback’s pitch hit the dirt about halfway through the left-handed hitters’ batting box and didn’t even get close to reaching the painted line.

Great scoop by Big Papi, though. And at least Brady took it in stride. Perhaps he’ll return to balling with Michael Jordan or to the Bill Belichick heart attack-inducing cliff diving. Or maybe a return to having his kids bury him on the beachwould be safer—for all involved.

This article originally appeared on SI.com

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