If you’ve spent any time on Yelp, you know it’s impossible to please everyone when it comes to food. Plenty of Yelp reviewers post totally reasonable reviews, but others share critiques that are just irrational, irrelevant and downright mean.
With that in mind, Foodbeast gathered three popular chefs from the southern California area to read some of the worst one-star reviews of their restaurants. The results are pretty funny.
“The food sucks as much as the chef’s personality,” chef Jason Quinn reads with a frown. “If I could give them no stars, I would,” reads Daniel Shemtob.
Some of these reviewers actually deserve five stars.
Which is better for you: Half cup of ice cream or 3 scoops of sorbet?Getty Images (4)Answer: A half cup of ice cream
If you eat what you’re craving, you’re more likely to feel satisfied and eat less. And scoop for scoop sorbet contains twice the sugar with none of the filling dairy protein and fat.Getty Images (5); Gif by Mia Tramz for TIMEWhich is better for you: Real butter or spray on fake butter?Getty Images; Tara Johnson for TIMEAnswer: Butter
Serving size for spray butters (even low-calorie ones) are around a 1/3 second spray. What on earth does that mean? You're better off using a small amount of real butter as opposed to guessing how much you're using of the mystery melange of up to 20 ingredients.Getty Images (1); Gif by Mia Tramz for TIMEWhich is better for you: A turkey burger or a sirloin burger?Getty Images (2)Answer: Sirloin burger
Restaurant turkey burgers are often made with dark meat and the skin, so they’re not necessarily better for you (and for the record, they aren't low-fat). You can get a sirloin burger that’s 95% lean meat and gives you 20 g of protein. Just be careful with the toppings.Getty Images (1); Gif by Mia Tramz for TIMEWhich is better for you: Almonds or pretzels?Getty Images (2)Answer: Almonds
Almonds are high in protein, fiber and fat and will keep you feeling fuller longer. Give high-sodium pretzels about an hour and you'll feel hungry again thanks to the high-carb no-fat or protein content.Getty Images (1); Gif by Mia Tramz for TIMEWhich is better for you: Special K or eggs?AP; Getty ImagesAnswer: Eggs
In the morning, you want a meal that will fill you up. Eggs offer protein and fat for satiety, but Special K cereal really only offers carbs and, well, air. If you want carbs to kick off the day, you're better off pairing eggs with a slice of 100% whole grain toast. Getty Images (1); Gif by Mia Tramz for TIMEWhich is better for you: Fat free salad dressing or regular salad dressing?Tara Johnson for TIMEAnswer: Regular salad dressingTo absorb fat soluble vitamins like Vitamins E and K in vegetables you need to consume them with a fat to aid nutrient absorption. Fat-free dressing, meanwhile, is low-calorie but gets its flavor from added sugar and salt.Tara Johnson for TIME (5); Gif by Mia Tramz for TIMEWhich is better for you: A low fat cookie or dark chocolate?Getty Images (2)Answer: Dark chocolate “People believe fat free is calorie free,” says Keri Gans, a registered dietitian in New York City. “Go for the real thing.” Fat free cookies tend to be high in carbs, sugar and fake sugar. Try a nice piece of antioxidant-rich dark chocolate instead.Getty Images (2); Gif by Mia Tramz for TIMEWhich is better for you: Low fat Greek yogurt or 100 calorie Yoplait yogurt?Tara Johnson for TIMEAnswer: 2% Greek YogurtA little fat is good in the morning to keep you full—plus it has upwards of 17g of protein per container. Fat-free "fruit" yogurt is high in sugar—7 to 10 g per serving—and lower in protein.Tara Johnson for TIME (2); Gif by Mia Tramz for TIME
