Apple says that the high-end model of its new smartwatch costs $10,000 because of the 18-karat gold case and the “exquisitely crafted bands and claps.” But the good folks at College Humor have divined the true reason the watch costs so much: so people can show off how filthy rich they are.
In a new send-up of the familiar Apple product unveiling videos, a so-called Tim Cook with a pitiful Southern accent explains what sets the Apple Watch apart from a typical Rolex.
“People will be like, ‘Doesn’t that thing costs $10,000?” he says. “Then they’ll know you have that much money.”
Check out the full mock commercial above, which also features a voiceover by an extra-British version of Jony Ive.
11 Amazing Features of the Apple Watch
The Apple Watch is the company's' first entirely new product category since the original iPad. It's a huge gamble for Apple and a test of the still-nascent wearable market.
Stephen Lam—Reuters/Corbis
The Watch is the most customizable and varied product Apple has likely ever launched. It'll come in three editions made of different metals and be available with multiple snap-in wrist bands. Prices start at $349.
Justin Sullivan—Getty Images
The Watch has a touch interface that can sense the difference between a light touch and hard press. But it also has a "digital crown" that allows users to quickly scroll through lists without obscuring the screen.
Justin Sullivan—Getty Images
The Watch must be paired with an iPhone for many of its functions. The device piggybacks on the phone's data and GPS connections to pipe in directions or incoming voice calls and text messages, for instance.
Stephen Lam—Reuters
The Watch, like Apple's other iDevices, will have various independent apps. Examples include a Tesla app that shows the status of your electric car when it's charging and a Starwood app that lets the Watch act as your room key.
Stephen Lam—Reuters
Apple's fitness app, one of the device's main selling points, tracks runs, walks and bike rides.
Stephen Lam—Reuters
The Watch also can track your heart rate (while resting, while active) throughout the day thanks to these light sensors on the back.
Koichi Mitsui—AFLO/Corbis
It also has Apple Pay, the company's digital payments platform. Swipe the Watch in front of a compatible kiosk and it will make an automatic online payment.
Justin Sullivan—Getty Images
CEO Tim Cook has said the Watch will last about a day before it needs to be recharged. So far, battery life has been the biggest downside of most wearables. The Watch recharges through the magnetic system shown here.
Justin Sullivan—Getty Images
The Watch will come with many customizable bands that slip on and click in place at the top and bottom of the device's body.
Justin Sullivan—Getty Images
It also comes in two sizes, 38mm and 42mm, to fit on different size wrists.
Monica Davey—EPA
Higher-end models of the watch could cost several thousands of dollars.
Stephen Lam—Reuters
Apple is significantly expanding it's product reach.
Justin Sullivan—Getty Images
And there's one more thing...
David Paul Morris—Bloomberg/Getty Images
It tells the time.
Marcio Jose Sanchez—AP
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