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---
description: Oregon&#x27;s political scandal involving former Gov. John Kitzhaber is basically one big &quot;Portlandia&quot; sketch.
title: Six &#x27;Portlandia&#x27; Sketches that Explain Oregon&#x27;s Big Political Scandal
image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc21d31bc8eb1f880/69877f51524fc00ffadec7d4/john-kitzhaber.jpg?branch=production&amp;width=3840&amp;quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;crop=16:9
---

![](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc21d31bc8eb1f880/69877f51524fc00ffadec7d4/john-kitzhaber.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9)

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# Six 'Portlandia' Sketches that Explain Oregon's Big Political Scandal


by 

[Ryan Teague Beckwith](/author/ryan-teague-beckwith/)


## Ryan Teague Beckwith


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Feb 19, 2015 4:52 PM CUT

![Gov. John Kitzhaber speaks to the media as he presents his two-year state budget proposal from his ceremonial office at the State Capitol in Salem, Ore., on Dec. 1, 2014.](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc21d31bc8eb1f880/69877f51524fc00ffadec7d4/john-kitzhaber.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=3:2)

Gov. John Kitzhaber speaks to the media as he presents his two-year state budget proposal from his ceremonial office at the State Capitol in Salem, Ore., on Dec. 1, 2014.

Gov. John Kitzhaber speaks to the media as he presents his two-year state budget proposal from his ceremonial office at the State Capitol in Salem, Ore., on Dec. 1, 2014.Thomas Patterson—AP

by 

[Ryan Teague Beckwith](/author/ryan-teague-beckwith/)


## Ryan Teague Beckwith


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Feb 19, 2015 4:52 PM CUT

Anyone who’s ever lived in Oregon can tell you that the TV series “Portlandia,” which makes fun of the state’s culture of earnest, quirky liberaldom, feels closer to a documentary than a comedy.

The state’s recent political scandal, which ended this week when a new governor was sworn in, has proven that even more true. The months-long debacle played out essentially like one big sketch from the IFC show starring Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein.

In a nutshell: John Kitzhaber, Oregon’s denim-wearing governor, resigned after a series of revelations involving his fiancée, Cylvia Hayes, a clean energy activist with a dodgy past.

For those of you just tuning into the Beaver State’s quirky politics, here are six sketches that explain the big scandal.

**“The Dream of the ‘90s”**

**The sketch:** A man explains to his friend (in song!) that the 1990s never ended in Portland: “Do you remember the ‘90s? … There’s a place where that idea still exists as a reality.”

**The scandal:** Kitzhaber was governor during much of the 1990s, then returned to run for two more terms in the 2010s.

**“No Grocery Bag”**

**The sketch:** A man [forgets his reusable bag](http://www.hulu.com/watch/322193 "undefined") while grocery shopping at Zupan’s Markets and the checkout clerks literally don’t know what to do.

**The scandal:** Kitzhaber and Hayes [bonded over their love of sustainable energy](http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/16/us/politics/oregon-governor-john-kitzhaber-and-fiancee-cylvia-hayes-walked-tangled-path-to-exit.html?%5Fr=0 "undefined"). She drew controversy for playing a role in his clean energy policy while running a firm that promotes it.

**“Late in Life Drug Use”**

**The sketch:** An older couple decide that [it’s never too late to try drugs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZC5%5FoTQ8hA "undefined") for the first time, but they do so earnestly: [“I want to approach this like we would buy a car.”](http://www.avclub.com/tvclub/portlandia-late-life-drug-use-203504 "undefined")

**The scandal:** Hayes and her then-boyfriend [bought 60 acres of remote farmland](http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/index.ssf/2014/10/cyliva%5Fhayes%5Fscandal%5Fex-broker.html "undefined") in 1997 that she admits was intended to be a pot farm.

**“Cool Wedding”**

**The sketch:** Two hipsters meeting with a wedding planner say they want a cool wedding: “I don’t even really believe in marriage that much.”

**The scandal:** Hayes [confessed to entering](http://www.wweek.com/portland/blog-32295-oregon%5Ffirst%5Flady%5Fcylvia%5Fhayes%5Fconfesses%5Fto%5Fbreaking%5Ffederal%5Flaw%5Fby%5Ftaking%5Fpart%5Fin%5Fan%5Fillegal%5Fmarria.html "undefined") into an illegal marriage with an Ethiopian immigrant for $5,000 so that he could become a U.S. citizen.

**“A Song for Portland”**

**The sketch:** The earnest, absent-minded mayor of Portland commissions two people to write a theme song for the city in an awkward interview.

**The scandal:** Kitzhaber summoned Secretary of State Kate Brown to return to Oregon, then asked her why she’d come in what she called a [“bizarre and unprecedented situation.”](http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/index.ssf/2015/02/secretary%5Fof%5Fstate%5Fkate%5Fbrown%5F2.html "undefined")

**“Disappointing Gay Man”**

**The sketch:** A woman is disappointed when her gay brother turns out to be a total bro who met his boyfriend at an ESPN Zone: [“I got totally ripped off on the ‘gay relative’ thing.”](http://www.rollingstone.com/music/videos/josh-homme-plays-disappointing-gay-man-in-new-portlandia-clip-20140415 "undefined")


**The scandal:** Brown, Kitzhaber’s successor, is [the first openly bisexual governor](http://time.com/3709837/oregon-kate-brown-governor/ "undefined"). She said her parents once told her [“it would be much easier for us if you were a lesbian.”](http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/index.ssf/2015/02/governor%5Fkate%5Fbrown%5Fbisexual.html "undefined")

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