February 4, 2015 11:18 AM EST

Here’s some pleasant pre-Valentine’s Day news: You might be torpedoing potential relationships and not even know it.

Match.com’s new Singles in America Survey uncovered a host of seemingly innocuous digital behaviors that the study’s sampling of 5,675 single adults see as the relationship equivalent of leaving the toilet seat up. (Those surveyed were a nationally representative group and not all Match.com users.)

“We are swimming around in this amorphous soup of emerging rules and taboos and nobody knows exactly what’s going on,” Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who helmed the survey, tells TIME. The digital faux pas range from incompatible texting habits to hashtag addictions. And while you might guess a few of these relationship deal breakers (70% of singles want their suitors to keep their phones off the table during dates) others are less inherent.

These are a few of the most common turn-offs to look out for so you don’t get discarded before you make it to drinks. (And some are worth considering whether you’re dating or not…)

You’re Facebook-ing All Wrong
Singles said their top social media turn-offs include

  • Emotionally dramatic posts: 73% (65% male, 78% female)
  • Excessive selfies: 57% (46% male, 65% female)
  • When you ask a current date to de-friend an ex: 55% (49% male, 59% female)

Your Texting Habits Are Questionable

Men said their top three texting turn-offs included

  • Too many typos and improper grammar: 36%
  • Responding with short answers like “k” and “cool”: 33%
  • Using ALL CAPS: 30%

And 47% of single men also don’t like getting texted at work.

Women hated when potential partners:

  • Have too many typos and incorrect grammar: 54%
  • Ask too many personal questions: 37%
  • Respond with short answers: 37%
  • Use ALL CAPS: 28%

No, I Will Not Favorite That Instagram

Men said their biggest Insta turn offs were:

  • Using too many hashtags: 35%
  • More specifically, too many #trending hashtags like #TBT, #WCW, #MCM: 25%
  • Pictures of kids and babies: 24% (Editors note: Good riddance baby haters)
  • Inspiring quotes/sayings: 22%

Single women said their biggest turn offs were:

  • Pictures showing off their body: 45%
  • Too many hashtags in a caption: 41%
  • Gym and workout pictures: 34%
  • Trending hashtags: 27%
  • Selfies: 26%
  • Party pictures: 25%

All these new dating pitfalls might seem disheartening, but Fisher sees a silver lining: “The beauty in this is we can make new rules,” she says. “Everything is so free-wheeling. It is kind of exciting.”

More Must-Reads From TIME

Contact us at letters@time.com.

You May Also Like