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Here’s some pleasant pre-Valentine’s Day news: You might be torpedoing potential relationships and not even know it.’s new Singles in America Survey uncovered a host of seemingly innocuous digital behaviors that the study’s sampling of 5,675 single adults see as the relationship equivalent of leaving the toilet seat up. (Those surveyed were a nationally representative group and not all users.)

“We are swimming around in this amorphous soup of emerging rules and taboos and nobody knows exactly what’s going on,” Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who helmed the survey, tells TIME. The digital faux pas range from incompatible texting habits to hashtag addictions. And while you might guess a few of these relationship deal breakers (70% of singles want their suitors to keep their phones off the table during dates) others are less inherent.

These are a few of the most common turn-offs to look out for so you don’t get discarded before you make it to drinks. (And some are worth considering whether you’re dating or not…)

You’re Facebook-ing All Wrong
Singles said their top social media turn-offs include

  • Emotionally dramatic posts: 73% (65% male, 78% female)
  • Excessive selfies: 57% (46% male, 65% female)
  • When you ask a current date to de-friend an ex: 55% (49% male, 59% female)

Your Texting Habits Are Questionable

Men said their top three texting turn-offs included

  • Too many typos and improper grammar: 36%
  • Responding with short answers like “k” and “cool”: 33%
  • Using ALL CAPS: 30%

And 47% of single men also don’t like getting texted at work.

Women hated when potential partners:

  • Have too many typos and incorrect grammar: 54%
  • Ask too many personal questions: 37%
  • Respond with short answers: 37%
  • Use ALL CAPS: 28%

No, I Will Not Favorite That Instagram

Men said their biggest Insta turn offs were:

  • Using too many hashtags: 35%
  • More specifically, too many #trending hashtags like #TBT, #WCW, #MCM: 25%
  • Pictures of kids and babies: 24% (Editors note: Good riddance baby haters)
  • Inspiring quotes/sayings: 22%

Single women said their biggest turn offs were:

  • Pictures showing off their body: 45%
  • Too many hashtags in a caption: 41%
  • Gym and workout pictures: 34%
  • Trending hashtags: 27%
  • Selfies: 26%
  • Party pictures: 25%

All these new dating pitfalls might seem disheartening, but Fisher sees a silver lining: “The beauty in this is we can make new rules,” she says. “Everything is so free-wheeling. It is kind of exciting.”

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