January 23, 2015 1:21 PM EST

Before she was mourning the state of today’s music, Joni Mitchell was using the power of song to dole out wisdom. In one of her biggest hits, “Big Yellow Taxi,” she offers: “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone?”

That’s exactly how many women feel in their 20s — and it’s because so many women who have aged out of the bracket won’t let you forget that it’s the best time of your life. Your 20s, they say, are your prime years — you just don’t know it yet. “Your beauty will fade,” they warn. “Your body won’t work like it used to once you turn 30,” they cry. “Start using anti-wrinkle creams.” A dinner with your aunts can feel like a whirlwind of cautionary tales.

As a result, we’re all under insane amounts of pressure to carpe diems and dodge FOMO around every corner. And, we’d be lying if we said that pressure wasn’t self-imposed, too.

While we’re still riding the New Year’s wave, it seems like a good time to freshen up our perspective. Namely, we need to re-evaluate the way we talk to and about ourselves, the way we set goals for our personal and professional lives, and the way we measure beauty. Ahead, 23 celebs who’ll put your 20s in perspective for you. In other words: Relax.

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