--- title: Living Life Without Regret: 3 Secrets From Research description: Because research says it's what you make of it canonical: https://time.com/3676444/living-life-without-regret/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-01-24T12:00:53.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-03-31T08:08:37.679Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Living Life Without Regret: 3 Secrets From Research og:description: Because research says it's what you make of it og:url: https://time.com/3676444/living-life-without-regret/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt9f11daf2e8c68c49/69877aff428a9e47c8cc6afd/180550662-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: Silhouette-girl-jumping og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Living Life Without Regret: 3 Secrets From Research twitter:description: Because research says it's what you make of it twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt9f11daf2e8c68c49/69877aff428a9e47c8cc6afd/180550662-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Living Life Without Regret: 3 Secrets From Research by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jan 24, 2015 12:00 PM CUT  Silhouette of Girl doing Stag Jump Silhouette of Girl doing Stag JumpGetty Images by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jan 24, 2015 12:00 PM CUT First, what do we regret the most? * You’re more likely to [regret the things you didn’t do](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-do-we-regret-the-most "undefined") than the things you did. (The split is about [75/25](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-are-we-most-likely-to-regret "undefined").) * [Education was the biggest inducer of regret](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-do-we-regret-most-why "undefined"), followed by career, romance, parenting, the self, and leisure. * You’re more likely to [regret purchasing things](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-do-we-regret-buying-what-do-we-regret-no "undefined"). You’re more likely to regret _not_ purchasing experiences. And for the big picture: [what do people regret the most before they die?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-do-people-regret-the-most-before-they-di "undefined") **1\. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”** **2\. “I wish I didn’t work so hard.”** **3\. “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”** **4\. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”** **5\. “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”** So what can you do to live a life without regret? * First, stop worrying. You anticipate regret will be much more painful than it actually is. [Studies show we consistently overestimate how regret affects us.](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-we-work-too-hard-to-avoid-regret "undefined") * Leaving options open is not the answer. Ironically, [leaving options open makes you dwell on whether you should change your mind.](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-leaving-your-options-open-the-path-to-happ "undefined") Once the situation is no longer reversible, cognitive dissonance works to your advantage and you’re more likely to be at peace. * As with anything related to happiness, perspective is most of the battle. Stop comparing your situation to a lofty, perfect one and [compare it to something far worse that you could have opted for](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-to-quickly-and-easily-reduce-regret "undefined"). In studies this is consistently associated with lower regret intensity. **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/07/how-can-you-live-life-without-regret-70477/ "undefined")**_._** **Join over 150,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD "undefined")**.** Related posts: [How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/ "undefined") [6 Things The Most Productive People Do Every Day](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/06/most-productive-people/ "undefined") [New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/ "undefined") ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3676444/living-life-without-regret/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3676444/living-life-without-regret/"},"headline":"Living Life Without Regret: 3 Secrets From Research","datePublished":"2015-01-24T12:00:53.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-31T08:08:37.679Z","description":"Because research says it's what you make of it","url":"https://time.com/3676444/living-life-without-regret/","keywords":["Psychology","Life","Research","Lifestyle","advice"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt9f11daf2e8c68c49/69877aff428a9e47c8cc6afd/180550662-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt9f11daf2e8c68c49/69877aff428a9e47c8cc6afd/180550662-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Silhouette-girl-jumping","caption":"Silhouette-girl-jumping","creditText":"Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/psychology/","name":"Psychology"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3676444/living-life-without-regret/","name":"Living Life Without Regret: 3 Secrets From Research"}}]}] ```