--- title: Justin Bieber Comedy Central Jokes description: From monkey abandonment to pot planes canonical: https://time.com/3674748/justin-bieber-comedy-central-roast-jokes/ author: Laura Stampler article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-01-20T21:35:57.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T07:16:05.467Z og:title: Here's Proof the Jokes for Comedy Central's Justin Bieber Roast Will Write Themselves og:description: From monkey abandonment to pot planes og:url: https://time.com/3674748/justin-bieber-comedy-central-roast-jokes/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt0aa313c178c41393/69877adbe53abab2424d720d/455084116.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: Three Lions Entertainment Presents Fashion Rocks 2014 - Show og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Here's Proof the Jokes for Comedy Central's Justin Bieber Roast Will Write Themselves twitter:description: From monkey abandonment to pot planes twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt0aa313c178c41393/69877adbe53abab2424d720d/455084116.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Here's Proof the Jokes for Comedy Central's Justin Bieber Roast Will Write Themselves by [Laura Stampler](https://time.com/author/laura-stampler/) ## Laura Stampler Jan 20, 2015 9:35 PM UTC  Singer-songwriter Justin Bieber presents onstage at Fashion Rocks 2014 Singer-songwriter Justin Bieber presents onstage at Fashion Rocks 2014Theo Wargo—2014 Getty Images by [Laura Stampler](https://time.com/author/laura-stampler/) ## Laura Stampler Jan 20, 2015 9:35 PM UTC Soon, several comedians will have the opportunity to collect their easiest paycheck to date. All they have to do is make fun of Justin Bieber. Comedy Central announced that the [Canadian pop star will be the subject of its next roast,](http://time.com/3674510/justin-bieber-comedy-central-roast/) to be taped and aired at a later date. While roasters won’t have to search hard for material — see: literally every single news story about the Biebs from the last year — here are some points we hope they hit. **That time he caused $80,900 of damage by egging his neighbor’s house** No, that’s not a [typo](http://time.com/2969942/justin-bieber-misdemeanor/). **That time he abandoned his pet monkey in a German airport** Mally the monkey was seized by German officials when Bieber tried to smuggle him out of the country without permission during the “Believe” tour. According to [_The Guardian_](http://www.theguardian.com/music/2013/may/17/justin-bieber-monkey-germany), “emails from Bieber’s management to the shelter \[where the monkey was held\] indicated the singer does not want the monkey anymore.” Bieber [reportedly](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/15/justin-bieber-owes-germany-monkey%5Fn%5F4280837.html) owed Germany $11,000 for the incident. **That time he peed in a restaurant’s mop bucket while saying “F\*\*\* Bill Clinton”** He later [thanked](http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/justin-bieber-apologizes-to-bill-clinton-20130711) the former president on Twitter after Bill called the Biebs. No words on a reconciliation with the bucket. **That time he was arrested for a DUI and drag racing**In a [yellow Lamborghini,](http://time.com/1706/justin-bieber-arrested-for-dui-drag-racing/) obvi. **That time he decided this was a good look for a mugshot** > [](https://twitter.com/biebersreaIest/status/557586548917407744) **That time the FAA investigated him for a “pot plane” incident (he was cleared)** What’s the point of having a private jet if you can’t [hotbox it](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2680908/FAA-clears-Justin-Bieber-following-investigation-pot-plane-incident-pilots-forced-wear-oxygen-masks-combat-dense-marijuana-smoke.html)? **That time he thought he was being super thoughtful about Anne Frank** In April 2013, the [Biebs took a trip to the Anne Frank House](http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/04/15/justin-bieber-hopes-anne-frank-would-have-been-a-belieber/) in Amsteram and wrote in the [guestbook](https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151330276206717&set=a.140434316716.124300.139219566716&type=1): “Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a believer.” Because, yes, the true tragedy of Frank’s early demise was that she never got to see _Never Say Never._ In lieu of an apology, Bieber [posted](http://www.eonline.com/news/407982/justin-bieber-pokes-fun-at-critics-with-new-shirtless-pics-in-wake-of-anne-frank-controversy) a shirtless selfie on Instagram the next day. #Dontbecreepin (his words, not ours). **That time he was probably photoshopped for a Calvin Klein underwear campaign** > [](https://twitter.com/ComedyCentralAF/status/557574050189692930) **That time he had an identity crisis** Repeat after me: I am not Eminem > [](https://twitter.com/silIyliam/status/541914549721391104) **That time he literally begged Comedy Central to roast him** Nothing’s hotter than desperation. > [](https://twitter.com/justinbieber/status/557560614919237633) “We’re thrilled he listened,” Comedy Central president Kent Alterman [said](http://press.cc.com/press-release/2015/01/20/press-comedy-central-announces-justin-bieber-to-headline-next-roast) in a release. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3674748/justin-bieber-comedy-central-roast-jokes/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3674748/justin-bieber-comedy-central-roast-jokes/"},"headline":"Here's Proof the Jokes for Comedy Central's Justin Bieber Roast Will Write Themselves","datePublished":"2015-01-20T21:35:57.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T07:16:05.467Z","description":"From monkey abandonment to pot planes","url":"https://time.com/3674748/justin-bieber-comedy-central-roast-jokes/","keywords":["Newsfeed","celebrities","Justin Bieber","entertainment","comedy central"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt0aa313c178c41393/69877adbe53abab2424d720d/455084116.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Laura Stampler","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/laura-stampler/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt0aa313c178c41393/69877adbe53abab2424d720d/455084116.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Three Lions Entertainment Presents Fashion Rocks 2014 - Show","caption":"Three Lions Entertainment Presents Fashion Rocks 2014 - Show","creditText":"Theo Wargo—2014 Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/time-section-newsfeed/","name":"Newsfeed"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3674748/justin-bieber-comedy-central-roast-jokes/","name":"Here's Proof the Jokes for Comedy Central's Justin Bieber Roast Will Write Themselves"}}]}] ```