By Eric Barker
December 12, 2014
IDEAS
Barker is the author of Barking Up The Wrong Tree

How can you make a good first impression?

First impressions matter even more than you think. They’re the most important part of any job interview. And once they’re set, they are very hard to resist.

Most advice on the subject is defensive, just telling you how to not offend. How can you strategically make a good impression?

From the outset, frame the conversation with a few well-rehearsed sentences regarding how you want to be perceived. This will end up being the structure the other person forms their memories around.

Via Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain Reveal About Getting It Right When You Have To:

And keep in mind that whenever you’re speaking emotionally, the words you use almost don’t matter at all. Voice tone and body language are far more important.

Via The Heart of Social Psychology: A Backstage View of a Passionate Science:

What makes us click with other people?

In Click: The Magic of Instant Connections Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman (authors of the interesting book Sway: The Irresistable Pull of Irrational Behavior) explore how people connect and give some solid insights.

They discuss a number of the more obvious causes of connection like proximity and similarity but what struck me most was their emphasis on vulnerability.

Via Click: The Magic of Instant Connections:

How can you improve any relationship?

Just try. Put a small amount of conscious effort into trying to be a better friend, spouse, whatever. That’s it. Sounds ridiculous but:

How do you win over someone who doesn’t like you?

Here’s what Robert Cialdini, author of the must-read book Influence, had to say:

How do you keep relationships strong over time?

Remember 5 to 1.

From Richard Conniff’s interesting book, The Ape in the Corner Office: How to Make Friends, Win Fights and Work Smarter by Understanding Human Nature:

More on strengthening friendships here.

Other tips to keep in mind:

This piece originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

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