Pregnancy Is Not a Disability

Within your lifetime, pregnancy is going to happen to you or someone you know. Lots of women get pregnant every day. In fact, there’s probably a woman getting pregnant right this very second, as we speak… Think about it. Pregnancy is coming to a town near you.

I’ve been pregnant twice, and it was hardly my favorite time in life. I am so very glad to be done having babies for ever and ever and ever, praise #vasectomyjesus. With that being said, I have a bone to pick with pregnant ladies everywhere. Pregnancy is a part of life. Pregnancy is normal. Pregnancy is not a unique or particularly difficult experience.

As a side note, I know there are women who fall into the high-risk pregnancy category. That is an entirely different subject, and this friendly pregnancy rant does not apply. I have close family members who have struggled with high-risk pregnancies, and my heart goes out to these women.

But normal pregnant women everywhere need to buck up and sign up for a 5K while you’re at it. It’s a common practice to change your life dramatically once you see those two pink lines on a pregnancy test. Of course, you should make healthy, positive changes in your life while carrying a child — like quitting the blow and eating more vegetables and getting enough sleep at night.

Still, it really chaps my ass when pregnant women complain about their dire circumstances to anyone who will listen (especially on social media). A pregnant woman may look at you with her sad doe eyes in the breakroom at work and sigh about how she wishes she could have a cup of coffee to wake her up in the morning. (Newsflash — unless your doctor said that you can’t have caffeine while pregnant, you can have at least a cup of coffee a day.)

The same sighing-and-hand-wringing routine applies to all of the supposed pregnancy no-no’s: wine, sushi, hot baths, intense exercise, flying, scooping cat litter. Some women may decide to stick to the pregnancy don’ts list to the letter, and that is their prerogative. I have absolutely nothing to say about a pregnant woman’s personal choices — unless she makes them my business by sighing and staring at me while I drink my coffee.

I didn’t love being pregnant, but I didn’t let it change my life for the worse. I still exercised like I normally did, ate all my favorite foods (and drinks) in moderation, and went out to non-smoky bars with friends when I felt up to it. Pregnancy isn’t that hard.

Bethany Ramos is a contributor to Mommyish.com, where this article originally appeared.

Contact us at letters@time.com.