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Ferguson Cop Darren Wilson on Michael Brown’s Death: ‘I Have a Clean Conscience’

3 minute read

The Ferguson police officer whom a grand jury has chosen not to indict in the August shooting death of an unarmed teenager said in an interview Tuesday he would not have done anything differently because he was trying to save his own life.

In an interview that aired Tuesday evening with George Stephanopoulos of ABC News, Darren Wilson recalled the incident and said, “The reason I have a clean conscience is because I know I did my job right.” The sit-down marked his first since Monday evening’s announcement that a grand jury had declined to charge him for the killing of Michael Brown, which ignited bouts of looting and arson in Ferguson despite state efforts to prepare for the possibility of violence. Demonstrations from New York City to Los Angeles played out into the night.

MORE: Ferguson Erupts Again After Cop Cleared in Killing

On Aug. 9, Wilson said he and Brown, who was 18, got into a physical altercation after he approached him, and that Brown threw the first punch, hitting the left side of his face. “I didn’t know if I’d be able to withstand another hit like that,” he said.

Over the course of their altercation, which Wilson said involved punching and the slamming of his vehicle’s door, he said he got a sense that Brown, who was 6 ft. 4 in. and 289 lb., could easily overpower him. “I felt the immense power of this man … It was like a 5-year-old holding onto Hulk Hogan.”

Ferguson Ignites With Violence After Grand Jury Decision

Law enforcement responds to protestors amidst tear gas and smoke in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014
Law enforcement stands in full gear by tanks in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014Barrett Emke for TIME
Protesters stand amid tear gas and smoke in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014. Barrett Emke for TIME
Grand jury decision not to indict Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson
Riot policemen clash with protesters in Ferguson Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014. Alexey Furman—EPA
Ferguson erupts in violence after Grand Jury decision
St. Louis County Police tactical team members open their reserve supply of tear gas to be fired as they take cover behind an armored truck on S. Florissant Avenue in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014. David Carson—St Louis Post Dispatch/Polaris
Law enforcement responds to protestors amidst tear gas and smoke in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014
Law enforcement responds to protestors in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014Barrett Emke for TIME
A woman speaks into a megaphone during protests in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014
A woman speaks into a megaphone during protests in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014Barrett Emke for TIME
A man lays on the ground amid protests in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014
A man lies on the ground amid protests in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014Barrett Emke for TIME
Ferguson Grand Jury decision in Michael Brown shooting
Police in riot gear tangle with a woman in front of emergency vehicles in Ferguson Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014. Larry W. Smith—EPA
A demonstrator puts his hands in the air amid protests in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014
A demonstrator puts his hands in the air amid protests in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014Barrett Emke for TIME
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A law enforcement officer pushes back protestors after they destroyed a police car in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014. Michael B. Thomas—AFP/Getty Images
Demonstrators attempt to push over a police car in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov, 24, 2014.
Demonstrators attempt to push over a police car in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov, 24, 2014. Xinhua/Sipa
Grand Jury verdict on the Michael Brown shooting
Cars burn at a car dealership as demonstrators protest the Grand Jury decision not to indict police officer Darren Wilson over the shooting death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo. on No.v 24, 2014. Larry W. Smith—EPA
A car burns on the street after a grand jury returned no indictment in the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri
A car burns on the street after a grand jury returned no indictment in the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014. Jim Young—Reuters
Grand Jury verdict on the Michael Brown shooting
Protestors parade in the parking lot of a burning auto parts store in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014. Tannen Maury—EPA
Grand Jury verdict on the Michael Brown shooting
A demonstrator walks down the street after getting tear gas in her face and attempting to cleanse her eyes in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014. Larry W. Smith—EPA
Patrick London surveys the damage at his fast food restaurant London's Wing House after it was looted during protests on November 24, 2014.
Patrick London surveys the damage at his fast food restaurant London's Wing House after it was looted during protests on Nov. 24, 2014.Barrett Emke for TIME
Lesley McSpadden Michael Brown's mother and other protestors demonstrate amidst tear gas and smoke in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014
Michael Brown's mother, Lesley McSpadden, covers her face while standing alongside other demonstrators in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014Barrett Emke for TIME
Riots in Ferguson
Police stand near a burned out police car in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014. Christian Gooden—St. Louis Post-Dispatch/Polaris
A man stands by a burned out car in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014
A man stands by a burned out car in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014Barrett Emke for TIME
A Ferguson firefighter surveys rubble at a strip mall that was set on fire when rioting erupted following the grand jury announcement in the Michael Brown case on Nov. 25, 2014 in Ferguson, Mo.Scott Olson—Getty Images
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A police officer holds her gun during clashes with protesters in Ferguson, Mo. on Nov. 24, 2014. Jewel Samad—AFP/Getty Images

Wilson said he threatened to shoot Brown, which is when he said the teen reached for his gun: “He grabbed the top of my gun, and he said, ‘You’re too much of a p—y to shoot me.’” Next, he recalled aiming his gun at Brown “thinking this has to work, otherwise I’m going to be dead.” That moment was apparently the first time he ever fired his gun in the line of duty.

After Brown started walking away, Wilson chased him, explaining “that’s what we were trained to do.” Then, he added, when Brown started to approach him, “he ignored all my commands and just kept running.” The officer said there was “no way” Brown put his hands up, as has been widely reported.

MORE: President Obama Says There Is ‘No Excuse’ for Violence in Ferguson

Wilson said at that point there was nothing he could have done to prevent Brown’s death. When asked if he thought he would have still shot Brown if he had been white, Wilson said there was “no question” he would do the same thing.

“I don’t think it’s a haunting,” he admitted. “It’s always going to be something that happened.” After the short clip, Stephanopoulos added that Wilson expressed sympathy for Brown’s family.

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Write to Charlotte Alter at charlotte.alter@time.com