November 5, 2014 10:46 AM EST

Dr. Phil McGraw stopped by Conan’s desk on Tuesday night and shared a “really good” piece of his dad’s advice: “Don’t ever miss a good chance to shut the f-ck up.”

The TV personality also said, when a woman says “What?” it’s not because she didn’t hear you, but because she’s giving you a chance to change your answer. That’s a little ironic, considering his show is all about talking through problems, but McGraw later admitted that he and his wife make a point to communicate issues before they become big problems.

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