Frank Ockenfels—AMC
October 29, 2014 12:03 PM EDT

Action figures may be off the table for your favorite Breaking Bad fan this holiday season, but thankfully, something even better is hitting the market: a Breaking Bad cookbook, titled — what else? — Baking Bad. (This project is so ripe for puns, it’s a wonder it’s taken this long for someone to cash in.) For starters, there’s the mysterious bestselling author’s pen name, Walter Wheat. Then there are the recipes within, from Ricin Crispie Treats to Fring Pops.

The publisher promises that the recipes are “98% pure but 100% edible,” no Hazmat gear required — a regular old apron should do the trick. Some of the concoctions, like Mr. White’s Tighty Whitey Bite gingerbread cookies, sound appealing. Others, like the Tortuga Tart — which features a slab of ham perched atop a turtle-shaped pastry — appear better suited for presentation than for gastronomic pleasure.

The book goes on sale on Nov. 6, but until then, you can get cooking with a handful of recipes on BuzzFeed UK. It’s probably prudent not to send your kid to school with Meth Crunchie cupcakes, but you can certainly enjoy them at home — with the promise of nothing more than a sugar high.

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Write to Eliza Berman at eliza.berman@time.com.

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