--- description: Mastering skills is stressful in the short term and happiness-boosting in the long term title: Why We Don't Always Do What Really Makes Us Happy image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt48d462965124a84a/6986a5801eebf73ce0372de1/450823975.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Ideas](/section/ideas/) ## Ideas Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close * [Psychology](/tag/psychology/) ## Psychology Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # Why Aren’t You Doing What Really Makes You Happy? by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Sep 27, 2014 4:01 AM CUT  Businessman with hands on chin at workstation Businessman with hands on chin at workstationThomas Barwick—Getty Images by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Sep 27, 2014 4:01 AM CUT The path to happiness and the path to being an expert overlap. Here’s the problem though: research shows that you don’t usually do what really brings you joy or makes you an expert — you do what is _easy_. Via [The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307591549/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Sitting on the couch watching TV [does not make you happy](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-watching-tv-make-us-happy "undefined"): --- > “” --- You are happier [when you are busy](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-we-happier-when-were-busy "undefined") and often have [more fun at work than at home](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-we-have-more-fun-at-work-or-at-home "undefined"). How is that possible? You spend a lot more time in high-challenge, high-skill situations that encourage [flow states](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow%5F%28psychology%29 "undefined") during work hours. You’re more likely to feel apathy during leisure time at home. Via Sonja Lyubomirsky’s [The How of Happiness](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0143114956/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Thinking and working [can beat sad feelings](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-can-you-free-yourself-from-an-angry-or-de "undefined"). But you avoid those because they take effort. You spend up to 8 minutes of every hour daydreaming. Your mind will probably wander for 13% of the time it takes you to read this post. Some of us spend 30-40% of our time daydreaming. Via [The Science of Sin: The Psychology of the Seven Deadlies (and Why They Are So Good For You)](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307719340/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Problem is, a wandering mind [is not a happy mind](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-a-wandering-mind-a-happy-mind "undefined"): --- > “” --- Your default is to do what is easy, but you’re happier when challenged. You need to fight your instincts. **What should you be doing?** [Things you’re good at](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/11/secret-happy-home-fulfilled-work/ "undefined"). “_Signature strengths_” are the things you are uniquely talented at and using them brings you joy. People who deliberately exercised their signature strengths on a daily basis became significantly happier for _months._ Via [The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307591549/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Signature strengths are the secret to [experiencing more “flow” at work and in life](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/11/secret-enjoying-work/ "undefined"). Exercising them is why [starving artists are happier](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-starving-artists-happier "undefined") with their [jobs](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/whats-the-secret-to-loving-your-job "undefined"). **But isn’t this a lot of hard work?** Mastering skills is stressful in the short term and [happiness-boosting](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/study-shows-mastering-a-skill-makes-us-stress "undefined") in the long term. [Ambitious goals](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/will-you-be-happier-if-you-set-ambitious-goal "undefined") make you happier. But maybe you’re [afraid of failure](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/11/embarrassing-disappointing-soul-crushing-failure-need/ "undefined"). This is why you do what is easy and why your instinct is to play it safe. Fear of failure is one of the most powerful feelings. Via [Brandwashed: Tricks Companies Use to Manipulate Our Minds and Persuade Us to Buy](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385531737/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Thinking about what happens to you in terms of your self-esteem will crush you — look at life as [growing and learning](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/another-trick-to-dealing-with-depression "undefined"): --- > “” --- When challenged, [**focus on “getting better”**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/whats-the-secret-to-persistence "undefined") — not doing well or looking good. Get-better goals increase motivation, make tasks more interesting and replenish energy. Via [Nine Things Successful People Do Differently](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00607EX1E/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00607EX1E&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- But what is the end goal you should focus on? Is there an easy way to think about what you should be heading toward? Yes. Think about [the best possible version of yourself](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-thinking-about-the-best-possible-version-o "undefined") and move toward that. **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/ "undefined")**_._** **Join more than 100,000 readers.** Get a free weekly update via email [here](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD "undefined"). Related posts: [What 10 things should you do every day to improve your life?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/what-10-things-should-you-do-every-day-to-imp/ "undefined") [Here are the things that are proven to make you happier](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/08/here-are-the-things-that-are-proven-to-make-y/ "undefined") [What does it take to become an expert at anything?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/08/what-does-it-take-to-become-an-expert-at-anyt/ "undefined") ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3430166/what-makes-you-happy/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3430166/what-makes-you-happy/"},"headline":"Why Aren’t You Doing What Really Makes You Happy?","datePublished":"2014-09-27T04:01:21.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-31T07:56:00.981Z","description":"Mastering skills is stressful in the short term and happiness-boosting in the long term","url":"https://time.com/3430166/what-makes-you-happy/","keywords":["Psychology","advice"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt48d462965124a84a/6986a5801eebf73ce0372de1/450823975.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt48d462965124a84a/6986a5801eebf73ce0372de1/450823975.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"450823975","caption":"450823975","creditText":"Thomas Barwick—Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/psychology/","name":"Psychology"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3430166/what-makes-you-happy/","name":"Why Aren’t You Doing What Really Makes You Happy?"}}]}] ```