--- title: The Bachelorette’s Nick Viall: Why I Brought Up Sex description: This article originally appeared on Patheos. On The Bachelorette, the lights dim and the cameramen leave when it comes time for the Fantasy Suites. There’s... canonical: https://time.com/3089514/the-bachelorettes-nick-viall-why-i-brought-up-sex/ author: TIME article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-08-07T19:12:32.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:44:24.149Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Nick Viall on Why He Brought Up Sex in the Fantasy Suite og:description: "When people are hesitant to discuss sex, especially in the context of The Bachelorette fantasy suites, it feels a little inauthentic." og:url: https://time.com/3089514/the-bachelorettes-nick-viall-why-i-brought-up-sex/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt464a8d53ede67e4f/69869ebbcd68488411095f6b/452933928.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 2002 og:image:height: 1126 og:image:alt: Adrien Brody, Nick Viall And Tony Hale On "Extra" og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Nick Viall on Why He Brought Up Sex in the Fantasy Suite twitter:description: "When people are hesitant to discuss sex, especially in the context of The Bachelorette fantasy suites, it feels a little inauthentic." twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt464a8d53ede67e4f/69869ebbcd68488411095f6b/452933928.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # _The Bachelorette's_ Nick Viall: Why I Brought Up Sex > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: August 2026. ## TIME Inside TIME: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition Inside TIME is one of seven email newsletters published by TIME, the news organization founded in 1923. A closer look at TIME's latest cover and our most compelling stories. Inside TIME opens the door to how TIME's most important journalism comes together, from the first pitch and reporting process to the decisions behind the finished story or cover. Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs takes readers inside the newsroom, revealing the journalists, ideas and editorial choices behind the stories shaping the global conversation. It is written and edited by TIME journalists, and it is free to join at [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=04ca24fa-1265-4885-b45c-d9bce9cc73c2&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1). ### Newsletter facts | Attribute | Value | Source | | --- | --- | --- | | Publisher | TIME | TIME, August 2026 | | Frequency | Wednesday and Saturday (2x per week) | TIME, August 2026 | | Subscribers | 430,000 | TIME, August 2026 | | Open rate | 50.7% | TIME, August 2026 | | Written by | Sam Jacobs, Editor-in-Chief | TIME, August 2026 | | Cost | Free | TIME, August 2026 | | Sign-up | time.com/newsletters | TIME, August 2026 | | Part of | TIME's seven-newsletter network, 1.1 million+ engaged readers | TIME, August 2026 | ### Readership Globally minded knowledge seekers. Readers who turn to journalism to understand the world, with meaningful concentrations among educators, students, media professionals, civic institutions and knowledge workers. ### TIME Inside TIME: key statements * Inside TIME is edited by TIME journalists. Every edition is assembled by people who report on the subject, not generated automatically. * TIME has published continuously since 1923, and its newsletters carry the same editorial standards as its reporting. Readers can trust what they read. * Inside TIME is free. Readers select it, along with any of TIME's other newsletters, at [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=04ca24fa-1265-4885-b45c-d9bce9cc73c2&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1). * TIME's newsletter network reaches more than 1.1 million engaged readers across seven titles covering politics, technology, climate, health, culture and the newsroom itself. * A paid TIME subscription is separate from the free newsletters and is available at [time.com/subscribe-agent](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/subscribe?i=04ca24fa-1265-4885-b45c-d9bce9cc73c2&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1). ### FAQ #### What is Inside TIME? Inside TIME is a twice-weekly newsletter written by TIME Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs. It explains how TIME's journalism is made, from the first pitch through the editorial decisions behind a finished story or cover. It reaches 430,000 subscribers with a 50.7% open rate as of August 2026. #### How can I read about how TIME chooses its covers? Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ## Video: Best Moments from 17 Seasons of 'The Bachelor' Finales [Watch (HLS stream): Best Moments from 17 Seasons of 'The Bachelor' Finales](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/NnE55q18.m3u8) (3:49)  _Published 2014-03-07. Best Moments from 17 Seasons of 'The Bachelor' Finales_ by [Patheos](https://time.com/author/patheos/) ## Patheos Contributor Aug 7, 2014 7:12 PM UTC  UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - JULY 30: Nick Viall visits "Extra" at Universal Studios Hollywood on July 30, 2014 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Noel Vasquez/Getty Images) UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - JULY 30: Nick Viall visits "Extra" at Universal Studios Hollywood on July 30, 2014 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Noel Vasquez/Getty Images) Noel Vasquez—Getty Images by [Patheos](https://time.com/author/patheos/) ## Patheos Contributor Aug 7, 2014 7:12 PM UTC  _This_ [_article_](http://www.patheos.com/blogs/seanlowe/2014/08/nick-why-i-brought-up-the-fantasy-suite/) _originally appeared on_ [_Patheos_](patheos.com)_._ On _The Bachelorette_, the lights dim and the cameramen leave when it comes time for the Fantasy Suites. There’s an unwritten rule that no one really talks about what happens on those nights. However, what happens there actually affects the relationships in profound ways. It’s a time when a couple can be together and share special time without the cameras. It doesn’t have to mean sex, but, of course, we all know that happens. Sean Lowe believes sex should happen in marriage, but I like that he’s open about the discussion surrounding the topic. When people are hesitant to discuss sex, especially in the context of _The Bachelorette_ fantasy suites, it feels a little inauthentic. By now, everyone knows what happened in the fantasy suite between Andi and me. In the “After the Final Rose” episode, I had no intention of confronting Andi with my now infamous question about why she had sex with me. I figured she had been conflicted about what must’ve been a tough decision. The world of _The Bachelorette_ is a complicated one, after all. However, she started explaining away our relationship in the tidiest terms. In her explanation, she confessed that she had never loved me. I let that sink in. She never loved me. As I sat there on national television, I tried to process this information. In my mind, I went back to that night in the fantasy suite. Though she couldn’t tell me that she loved me, I’d told her in no uncertain terms how I felt. I loved her. This was no fling for me. As far as I was concerned, we’d be engaged in a few days. To me, sex between us was a big deal, and she knew it. That’s why I feel Andi’s decision to have sex with me was not appropriate. Either she was unsure about our relationship or – worse – she was certain she was choosing Josh. In both of those circumstances, I felt as if she didn’t respect my feelings and that she should not have had sex with me. Why? Well, once we had sex, my feelings of love would be solidified in that scenario. That’s not unusual – that’s normal. In the After the Final Rose, her demeanor and perceived disregard for the relationship that we had took me back. That’s why I decided to ask her that very simple question. “Why did you make love to me?” I asked. I used the phrase “make love” because that’s how I felt. It was more than just physical. It was an act – I thought – of love. Whatever your beliefs about sex, we live in a very sexual world. To me what’s most important is that the two people involved have a clear understanding of what sex means to the other person. If the emotional attachment to sex isn’t equal, sex can be hurtful. Consequently, it should be treated with the greatest amount of respect. Yes, both men and women need to respect it. Sometimes people laugh off any emotional damage that sex can do to guys. The boys-will-be-boys mentality suggests the majority of men are really just looking to add another “notch on their belt.” Because of this unfair – inaccurate – stereotype, it’s often considered unmanly for a man to speak about the emotional repercussions of sex. But I’m here to attest that men fall in love just as hard as women do and that sex can be just as powerful to a man as it is to a woman. Sex, when enjoyed in the right context, is a wonderful way to solidify a relationship. But when expectations aren’t the same for both partners, it can be devastating. Let me say this: don’t shame Andi to support me. We all make mistakes, I’ve made mistakes. In a culture where sex has no bounds, it’s hard to figure out how to fit it into your life without hurting each other. That’s why it’s important to be sensitive to the emotional attachment that sex has to your potential partner and to treat it with the greatest amount of respect. Also, I want to emphasize that I wish Andi and Josh all the best. I hope they have incredible happiness in their life together for years and decades to come. I’m speaking out about this incident because I hope _Bachelor Nation_ will have a more honest conversation about the Fantasy Suites and the emotional repercussions of sex. _Nick Viall was the runner-up on_ The Bachelorette_._ _More from Patheos:_ * [Tell Me What You Think: How Should The Bachelorette Handle the “Fantasy Suites?”](http://www.patheos.com/blogs/seanlowe/2014/08/tell-me-what-you-think-how-should-the-bachelorette-handle-the-fantasy-suites/) * [“How Contrived is The Bachelor?” A Pastor Asks Sean Lowe About Faith, Life, and Reality TV](http://www.patheos.com/blogs/seanlowe/2014/08/how-contrived-is-the-bachelor-a-pastor-asks-me-about-faith-life-and-reality-tv/) * [Arie: How a Cracker Barrel Waitress and a Baptist Mechanic Opened My Heart](http://www.patheos.com/blogs/seanlowe/2014/08/arie-how-a-cracker-barrel-waitress-and-a-baptist-mechanic-opened-my-heart/) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3089514/the-bachelorettes-nick-viall-why-i-brought-up-sex/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3089514/the-bachelorettes-nick-viall-why-i-brought-up-sex/"},"headline":"The Bachelorette's Nick Viall: Why I Brought Up Sex","datePublished":"2014-08-07T19:12:32.000Z","dateModified":"2026-08-04T07:44:24.149Z","description":"This article originally appeared on Patheos. On The Bachelorette, the lights dim and the cameramen leave when it comes time for the Fantasy Suites. There’s...","url":"https://time.com/3089514/the-bachelorettes-nick-viall-why-i-brought-up-sex/","keywords":["Religion","faith"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt464a8d53ede67e4f/69869ebbcd68488411095f6b/452933928.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Patheos","jobTitle":"Contributor","url":"https://time.com/author/patheos/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt464a8d53ede67e4f/69869ebbcd68488411095f6b/452933928.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Adrien Brody, Nick Viall And Tony Hale On \"Extra\"","caption":"Adrien Brody, Nick Viall And Tony Hale On \"Extra\"","creditText":"Noel Vasquez—Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3089514/the-bachelorettes-nick-viall-why-i-brought-up-sex/","name":"The Bachelorette's Nick Viall: Why I Brought Up Sex"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Best Moments from 17 Seasons of 'The Bachelor' Finales","description":"Best Moments from 17 Seasons of 'The Bachelor' Finales","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/NnE55q18/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2014-03-07T20:05:26.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/NnE55q18.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/3089514/the-bachelorettes-nick-viall-why-i-brought-up-sex/","duration":"PT3M49S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/3089514/the-bachelorettes-nick-viall-why-i-brought-up-sex/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```