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A hotel in Hudson, N.Y. that advertises itself as a great option for weddings and gatherings has some hidden fine print: if you or your guests post a negative review of your stay online, you’ll be charged $500.

The PR tactic totally backfired, since the Union Street Guest House’s punitive online review policy has now been written up in the New York Post and Business Insider. And the wording of the policy is hilariously stuffy:

In other words, your idiot guests probably won’t appreciate how nice this hotel is, since they are Marriott-loving philistines who don’t understand “hip, period furniture” and “vintage” design. Therefore:

Consider it a fine for having friends without a sophisticated understanding of modern antiques.

The hotel said it would refund the fine if the review was deleted, but guests/trolls are already flooding the Union Street Guest House’s Yelp page to rage against the policy. The Union Street Guest House could not be immediately reached for comment.

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Write to Charlotte Alter at charlotte.alter@time.com.

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