--- title: Sharknado 2: 5 Things Deadlier Than a Sharknado -- How to Survive Them description: Critical tips on staying safe from the wildest of creatures in your wildest of dreams (or tele-movies) canonical: https://time.com/3059984/5-things-deadlier-than-a-sharknado-and-how-to-survive-them/ author: Andrew Shaffer article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-07-30T21:13:16.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-05-11T04:43:07.661Z article:section: Ideas og:title: 5 Things Deadlier Than a Sharknado—And How to Survive Them og:description: Tuning into Sharknado 2: The Second One tonight? A new guide has some critical tips on staying safe from the wildest of creatures in your wildest of dreams (or tele-movies) og:url: https://time.com/3059984/5-things-deadlier-than-a-sharknado-and-how-to-survive-them/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt74a08f5bf5196f94/69869de0e53aba751c4d3d07/how-to-survive-a-sharknado.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1592 og:image:height: 896 og:image:alt: How to Survive a Sharknado og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 5 Things Deadlier Than a Sharknado—And How to Survive Them twitter:description: Tuning into Sharknado 2: The Second One tonight? A new guide has some critical tips on staying safe from the wildest of creatures in your wildest of dreams (or tele-movies) twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt74a08f5bf5196f94/69869de0e53aba751c4d3d07/how-to-survive-a-sharknado.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Sharknado 2: Five Things Deadlier Than a Sharknado—And How to Survive Them > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: August 2026. ## TIME Inside TIME: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition Inside TIME is one of seven email newsletters published by TIME, the news organization founded in 1923. A closer look at TIME's latest cover and our most compelling stories. Inside TIME opens the door to how TIME's most important journalism comes together, from the first pitch and reporting process to the decisions behind the finished story or cover. 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Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. by [Andrew Shaffer](https://time.com/author/andrew-shaffer/) ## Andrew Shaffer Jul 30, 2014 9:13 PM UTC  How to Survive a Sharknado How to Survive a Sharknado Courtesy Three Rivers Press by [Andrew Shaffer](https://time.com/author/andrew-shaffer/) ## Andrew Shaffer Jul 30, 2014 9:13 PM UTC **1\. MEGA PYTHONS** Let it try to eat you. Lie on the ground perfectly still, with your feet toward the snake. Do not struggle as it begins swallowing you. Its backward-curving teeth will scrape you, but it probably won’t bite down. When you are in its mouth up to your chest, pull your knife out and stab it in the eyes. You may not kill it, but you will distract and blind it while you make your escape.  **2\. FIRENADOS** Treat burns. Wash the burn with water for three to five minutes. Do not break blisters. Cover the burn with a moist sterile bandage or cloth. Seek medical attention. Do not apply ice, ointments, or home remedies such as egg whites and butter. Who does that anyway? Egg whites? Everyone knows you’re just supposed to use the yolk.  **3\. BASILISKS** DON’T: Shoot it or try to blow it up. Conventional weapons can’t penetrate the beast’s thick body armor. It survived a fiery inferno in- side an exploding building, indicating it is also impervious to high temperatures. It’s either the Eye of Medusa or nothing if you want to stop a basilisk.  **4\. BOARICANES** Take a tip from T-Pain—get low. If you can’t reach shelter, you’ll need to protect yourself from flying debris. Get low to the ground. Curl into a ball. If a flash flood washes you away, you’ll roll to safety like a human tumbleweed.  **5\. DINOSHARKS** The best defense is a good offense—specifically, a harpoon gun. If you’re on a boat, your options are limited. Dinosharks can swim as fast as any boat, and strike a hole through the hull as well. While the Puerto Vallarta dinoshark measured twenty feet, adults can grow up to fifty feet—meaning it could easily punch a hole in a Regal Islands International cruise ship. Fight back, or become the next victim. According to McGraw, the creature’s ex- terior is resistant to gunfire and grenade blasts. The weak spots are its mouth and eyes. Possibly its genitals, though we don’t rec- ommend taking the time to look for those. A harpoon through an eye stopped the Puerto Vallarta dinoshark. That’s a difficult shot to make, even for an experienced marksman at close range. But we have faith in you. We’ll just be waiting right . . . over . . . here . . .  _Excerpted from_ [How to Survive a Sharknado And Other Unnatural Disasters: Fight Back When Monsters and Mother Nature Attack](http://www.amazon.com/dp/0553418130/?tag=timecom-20), _by Andrew Shaffer. He is the author of humorous nonfiction and fiction, including_ Literary Rogues, Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love_,_ _and, under the pen name Fanny Merkin,_ Fifty Shames of Earl Grey. _His writing has been published in_ Mental Floss, Maxim_,_ The Daily Beast, _and more._ ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3059984/5-things-deadlier-than-a-sharknado-and-how-to-survive-them/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3059984/5-things-deadlier-than-a-sharknado-and-how-to-survive-them/"},"headline":"Sharknado 2: Five Things Deadlier Than a Sharknado—And How to Survive Them","datePublished":"2014-07-30T21:13:16.000Z","dateModified":"2026-05-11T04:43:07.661Z","description":"Tuning into 'Sharknado 2: The Second One' tonight? 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