--- description: A new study shows that men think women who are aware of their feelings are attractive, but it didn't necessarily work the other way around title: Attractiveness: Men, Women and Responsiveness image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc566c6e1512b084a/69869db13bc9997db01a4baf/165550303.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Living](/tag/time-section-living/) ## Living Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # Sigh: Men Think Women Who Listen to Them Are Sexier  by [Charlotte Alter](/author/charlotte-alter/)  ## Charlotte Alter Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Senior Correspondent Jul 29, 2014 8:20 PM CUT  Listening woman Listening womanImage Source RF/Wonwoo Lee—Getty Images/Image Source  by [Charlotte Alter](/author/charlotte-alter/)  ## Charlotte Alter Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Senior Correspondent Jul 29, 2014 8:20 PM CUT Dusty Springfield was right all those years ago when she said the best way to a man’s heart was to “show him that you care.” A new study shows that men are more sexually attracted to “responsive” women who tend to their needs, but the same can’t be said about what attracts women to men. The study, published in the _Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin_, found that after just meeting, men were more likely to be sexually attracted to a woman who was “responsive,” which meant “aware of what I’m thinking and feeling” or “listening to me.” Men perceived responsive women as more feminine, and therefore more sexually attractive. Dr. Gurit Birnbaum, one of the authors of the study, said that “responsiveness” could also indicate which women would be viewed as long-term partners vs. short term hookups. “A responsive partner may be perceived as a warm and caring and therefore a desirable long-term partner,” she said in an email. Unsurprisingly, the female attitude towards male “responsiveness” was more complicated. On the one hand, some women saw responsiveness as an indication that the man would be a desirable mate, while others suspiciously viewed it as a ploy to manipulate them into sex. Still others thought that “responsiveness” was un-masculine, and therefore not sexy. So there might be actually some science behind the whole “nice guys finish last” thing. What a bummer. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3048579/sigh-men-think-women-who-listen-to-them-are-sexier/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3048579/sigh-men-think-women-who-listen-to-them-are-sexier/"},"headline":"Sigh: Men Think Women Who Listen to Them Are Sexier","datePublished":"2014-07-29T20:20:20.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T08:55:43.956Z","description":"A new study shows that men think women who are aware of their feelings are attractive, but it didn't necessarily work the other way around","url":"https://time.com/3048579/sigh-men-think-women-who-listen-to-them-are-sexier/","keywords":["Living","women","Psychology","Dating","relationships","Love","Science topic","Men"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc566c6e1512b084a/69869db13bc9997db01a4baf/165550303.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Charlotte Alter","jobTitle":"Senior Correspondent","url":"https://time.com/author/charlotte-alter/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc566c6e1512b084a/69869db13bc9997db01a4baf/165550303.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"165550303","caption":"165550303","creditText":"Image Source RF/Wonwoo Lee—Getty Images/Image Source","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/time-section-living/","name":"Living"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3048579/sigh-men-think-women-who-listen-to-them-are-sexier/","name":"Sigh: Men Think Women Who Listen to Them Are Sexier"}}]}] ```