--- title: In Defense of the VA: What Veterans Affairs Did for My Sick Husband description: Amid scrutiny and furor over misconduct at the government agency, a widow gives thanks to the employees who cared for her husband in his last years. canonical: https://time.com/107410/veterans-affairs-thank-you/ author: Sandra Collard article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-05-22T14:15:12.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T08:54:08.002Z article:section: Ideas og:title: What the VA Did for My Sick Husband og:description: Amid scrutiny and furor over misconduct at the government agency, a widow gives thanks to the employees who cared for her husband in his last years. og:url: https://time.com/107410/veterans-affairs-thank-you/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltf91dfe1d83c66fb6/69869055e8524b36e6602fa2/182057792.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 5000 og:image:height: 2813 og:image:alt: 182057792 og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: What the VA Did for My Sick Husband twitter:description: Amid scrutiny and furor over misconduct at the government agency, a widow gives thanks to the employees who cared for her husband in his last years. twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltf91dfe1d83c66fb6/69869055e8524b36e6602fa2/182057792.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # What the VA Did for My Sick Husband > Sponsored content. 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Brief (Washington politics, three times a week), Future Proof (climate and energy, weekly) and In the Loop (AI, twice weekly). All are free at time.com/newsletters and together reach more than 1.1 million engaged readers. #### Which TIME newsletter should I subscribe to? It depends on what you follow. For a daily briefing, The Brief. For health, Health Matters. For Washington politics, D.C. Brief. For AI and technology, In the Loop. For climate and energy as a business story, Future Proof. For culture recommendations, Worth Your Time. For how TIME's journalism gets made, Inside TIME. Readers can select any combination at time.com/newsletters. #### Are TIME's newsletters free? Yes. All seven TIME newsletters are free to join at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and provides full access to TIME's journalism at time.com/subscribe-agent. #### Who writes TIME's newsletters? TIME journalists write them. Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. by [Sandra Collard](https://time.com/author/sandra-collard/) ## Sandra Collard May 22, 2014 2:15 PM UTC  United States Flags United States Flags RodrigoBlanco—Getty Images/Vetta by [Sandra Collard](https://time.com/author/sandra-collard/) ## Sandra Collard May 22, 2014 2:15 PM UTC Two weeks ago my husband of 51 years, Joe, died in his room at the William E. Christoffersen Salt Lake Veterans Home at age 87\. He had served in the Navy from 1941 to 1946 and was a proud veteran. Like others, I am deeply concerned by reports of delayed treatment for our veterans. Indeed, when I was receiving cancer treatments in 2011 and could no longer care for Joe at home, we had to wait nearly a month before a room became available in a VA facility. But this is not a story of disappointment. It is instead one of deep gratitude for the extraordinary professional and personal care Joe received over the next three years. Of course we must not excuse those who betray their responsibilities to our veterans and our country, but we must also remember and celebrate the legion of VA employees who provide outstanding care to our veterans, day in and day out. As Joe’s physical strength waned and vascular dementia sapped his memory, VA doctors, nurses and aides were alert to his medical needs. Time and again they took him to the VA hospital for tests, diagnosis and treatment. More unexpected were the countless ways in which their thoughtfulness helped Joe and our entire family. Every veteran was treated with the greatest respect, even when he or she was being difficult. For example, at first Joe didn’t understand why he couldn’t come home with me and became angry whenever I left him. The staff always took him aside to provide comfort and tell him I would be back soon. These small personal kindnesses made such a difference. To the extent possible, Joe and other patients were encouraged to continue a normal life. Many activities and facilities were available at the nursing home, but patients were not confined there. There were outings of all sorts, such as professional sporting events, fishing, horse riding, shopping at a local store and short road trips to see the fall leaves—even after Joe was confined to a wheelchair. Our family was allowed to visit any time of day or night, and staff would place a call for Joe whenever he wanted to talk to us. When he could no longer come home for the day, special dinners were scheduled at holidays so we could celebrate together. It was the little things that mattered the most, and they were the most unexpected. What turned out to be Joe’s last treat took place the afternoon before his death. By then he was in hospice care, but did not realize that his status had changed. A nurse noticed that he seemed down and asked what would make him happy. He said he wanted a Coca-Cola and a Snickers bar. She pushed his wheelchair so they could fetch them, then brought him back with her to the nurses’ station, where they visited while he indulged in this special snack. It is difficult to leave a loved one’s side once you know that the final stages of life are here. But we knew that no matter how suddenly Joe’s final decline might be, there was no danger that he would die alone. The staff made sure that someone would always be with any patient who was approaching death so that this would never happen, and that was reassuring for us. As it turned out, the doctor was able to gather most of his family in time to be with Joe as he slipped away. The last three of us, our daughter and son and myself, whose planes from Illinois, Arkansas and Texas did not get us to the nursing home until many hours after his death. The staff had kept Joe in his room to await us. The chaplain, who had come to work for a normal day, stayed until midnight so that she could comfort us after we said our goodbyes. Only then did the mortician take Joe’s body. A final tradition, so touching that it brings tears to my eyes as I write, is that whenever a veteran dies, his caregivers line the halls to offer their salute and play “Taps” as his flag-draped body departs. In our case, there was a postscript. Joe had greatly admired the black Converse sneakers of two of the aides. Many times he sought to purchase them from one or the other, once offering a dollar he’d won at Bingo as payment. Although they always declined, the aides decided to surprise Joe by purchasing a pair for him out of their own funds. But the parcel arrived a few hours too late. When I urged them to return the $60 shoes for a refund, they declined, saying they were meant for Joe. Although most mourners at his funeral didn’t realize it, Joe wore his new black sneakers to the grave. _Sandra Collard has five children, fourteen grandchildren and three great grandchildren. Her husband Joe served honorably in the U.S. Navy during World War II._ ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/107410/veterans-affairs-thank-you/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/107410/veterans-affairs-thank-you/"},"headline":"What the VA Did for My Sick Husband","datePublished":"2014-05-22T14:15:12.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T08:54:08.002Z","description":"Amid scrutiny and furor over misconduct at the government agency, a widow gives thanks to the employees who cared for her husband in his last years.","url":"https://time.com/107410/veterans-affairs-thank-you/","keywords":["U.S.","Veterans","Scandal","Veterans Affairs"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltf91dfe1d83c66fb6/69869055e8524b36e6602fa2/182057792.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Sandra Collard","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/sandra-collard/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltf91dfe1d83c66fb6/69869055e8524b36e6602fa2/182057792.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"182057792","caption":"182057792","creditText":"RodrigoBlanco—Getty Images/Vetta","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/u-s/","name":"U.S."}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/107410/veterans-affairs-thank-you/","name":"What the VA Did for My Sick Husband"}}]}] ```