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The Bachelorette: Read the Letter Nick Wrote Andi to Win Her Back

Celebrity Sightings In New York City - July 29, 2014
Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray from 'The Bachelorette' appear on "Good Morning America" Raymond Hall—GC Images

Best read with Adele in the background

Bachelorette watchers have come to expect a particularly intimate view of the evolution of a relationship. But ABC producers have now exposed fans to the other side of made-for-TV romance: the anatomy of a break-up.

At 5:22 p.m. Monday, hours before the winner was revealed, a post titled “Andi’s Mystery Letter” appeared on the show’s official Facebook page. We now know the content to be the musings of Bachelorette loser Nick Viall, who sported a face more sullen than guest star Grumpy Cat during Monday night’s three-hour season finale.

During the “After the Final Rose” special, producers showed footage of Nick attempting to confront Andi face-to-face (apparently for the second time) during the taping of the “Men Tell All” special. After the now-engaged Dorfman refused to see him, producers handed her a note–now available for all the Internet to see.

“You lit me up,” Viall writes in a letter best read while listening to Adele in the background.

You made me feel those things that people go a lifetime to find, and I feel like I made you feel the same… Let’s just call it what it was–our relationship was very much the road less traveled. I totally get that all the passion, intensity, and connections that we had were accompanied by fear and sometimes discomfort. There is a reason why very few are willing to take the road less traveled. It can be scary, challenging, and risky, but if you have the courage to take it, it usually ends up being amazing.

The rest can be read here.

Viall told Us Weekly, “I was in no way ashamed of what was in that letter, I knew by giving it to her, that was a possibility and I accepted that.”

No word yet on whether Viall feels bad about breaking Bachelorette code and going public what went on in the Fantasy Suite while finally granted his long-awaited sit-down with his ex during Monday’s show.

“Knowing how in love with you I was,” Nick said, “If you weren’t in love with me, I’m just not sure why, why you made love with me?”

ABC declined to comment on the letter.

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Who Will Be the Next Bachelor: Nick V., Farmer Chris or Grumpy Cat?

Bachelorette Finale: Andi Makes Her Choice

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Who Will Be the Next Bachelor: Nick V., Farmer Chris or Grumpy Cat?

Craig Sjodin /ABC/American Broadcasting Companies, Inc. /2014

#TeamMarquel

Who is the next star of The Bachelor?

After The Bachelorette star Andi Dorfman made her choice, fans’ attention quickly shifted from Nick or Josh to who would star in the next installment of the popular franchise. The star is usually announced during the After the Final Rose show, but last night, host Chris Harrison pat popular Bachelorette contestant Farmer Chris on the shoulder and said the decision would be made later. Who or what could the show be waiting on?

One guess is that the producers were testing finalist Nick V.’s audience appeal during his appearance on last night’s After the Final Rose show. While Nick may have earned some sympathy votes from soft-hearted fans sad to see him discarded in the final moments of the show, his frequent attempts to see Andi in person went from seeking closure to full-on creepy. Plus, his decision to shame Andi for sleeping with him in the Fantasy Suite when she wasn’t convinced she should marry him was unnecessary and harsh, especially as it’s been a longstanding Bachelor tradition that what happens in the Fantasy Suite stays in the Fantasy Suite. After that display — and in the wake of least favorite Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis — Nick’s most likely out of the running to be America’s next top bachelor.

If the producers are looking for the anti-Juan Pablo, they need look no farther than Farmer Chris. The Iowa native is a sweet, soft-spoken man who has proven himself to be a fan favorite (one fan even gave him her phone number during The Men Tell All episode). Aside from the fact that she sent him packing, he also has Andi’s seal of approval. “I mean, look at him,” she told People. “Chris has the whole package. He is the all-American guy who is a farmer who does not look like a farmer, but he’s also successful and he’s ready for a family. He’s going to be a great husband and a great father.”

However, the producers may be concerned that casting Chris could turn The Bachelor franchise into an unwanted reboot of another reality show — the blessedly short-lived Farmer Wants A Wife. That show, which lived for one season on The CW Network, featured eight women vying for the affections of a strapping bachelor farmer — a premise that might be too close for the producers’ comfort. Also, while Chris is affable and romantic, he was also incredibly taciturn on the show. The strong-and-silent type doesn’t play well on television. Chris may be getting some behind-the-scenes prep work by agents, acting coaches and producers in preparation for being a star, but he may also be spending his time polishing his FarmersOnly.com dating profile. No doubt someone at that website is eyeballing a Bachelor crossover deal.

Another Bachelorette fan favorite was Marcus, another contestant tossed aside during Andi’s journey to love. However, rumor (a.k.a. US Weekly) has it that he’s engaged to someone he met on Bachelor in Paradise — Lacy Faddoul, one of the women who mercifully escaped the clutches of Juan Pablo on The Bachelor. An engagement would probably keep him out of the running to be the next Bachelor, but if he winds up heartbroken or left at the altar, there is still a shot of handing out roses to women ready to pick up the pieces with him.

There’s also a chance that blast from The Bachelorette‘s past may take up the mantle of Man in Chief on The Bachelor. US Weekly reports that Arie Luyendyk Jr. may be angling for a return to the reality TV spotlight. The tall, dark and handsome race car driver was the runner-up on Bachelorette Emily Maynard’s season (she chose philanthropist and entrepreneur Jef for a short-lived romance). In the wake of his broken heart, Arie went on to date infamous Bachelor contestant Courtney Robertson in the wake of her break-up with Bachelor Ben Flajnik. A flow chart might be necessary to keep this all straight, but many fans of the show would be willing to watch Arie find love.

Finally, there’s Marquel Martin. The cookie-loving, straight-talking, funny and charismatic contestant was left on the side of Andi’s road to love, but he was already a fan favorite. Not only did he gracefully handle uncomfortable situations with other contestants, but he did it with forthright charm and wit. While there was some speculation that Marquel may not want to be known as the show’s “first African-American Bachelor,” he may be coming around. “Am I opposed to it? Absolutely not,” Martin told E! about the possibility of being cast as The Bachelor. “That is something…to talk with my family about if I was afforded that opportunity. Obviously, right now I’m not thinking about that because I don’t know if that’s even an option.” The only thing standing in his way? Being cast on Bachelor in Paradise. Typically the show only sends its B-team players to the island of misfit boys and girls, but things may be changing on the show in the wake of Juan Pablo and producers may want to see how a fan favorite fits into the Bachelor universe before making him their star.

So who will it be? We’re still Team Marquel. Alternatively, we’ll accept Grumpy Cat, whose surprise appearance on After the Final Rose qualifies her for casting.

MORE: The Bachelorette Watch: 11 Things We Learned When the Men Tell All

MORE: RECAP: Bachelorette Finale: Andi Makes Her Choice

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Bachelorette Finale: Andi Makes Her Choice

ABC

Big surprises are in store for Josh and Nick ... and Grumpy Cat!

Nick or Josh? Nick or Josh? Welcome to the finale of The Bachelorette, where Andi Dorfman must choose which of the two eligible bachelors will become her life partner. There’s Nick, the crazy-eyed stallion with the supposed heart of gold who makes Andi feel his passion for her and accent scarves. Then there’s Josh, the former pro baseball player who never misses a chance to flash his extremely white teeth, bulky biceps or his feelings for Andi. We’ve made our choice. But whom will Andi choose? As we join Chris Harrison in the studio, he informs us that the man Andi didn’t choose is not over her and has been trying to see her, and she has repeatedly turned him down. Sounds like fun to watch for the whole family.

Here’s what happened on the finale of The Bachelorette:

Nick Meets the Family: Nick is so nervous to meet Andi’s family that he is sweating all over the veranda. Her mother makes sure that Nick and the viewing audience knows Andi worked her way through law school. Nick spends all his time telling Mama Dorfman that he loves Andi. He says the L word about 20 times and until her mother begs for mercy. Then Nick turns his attention to Andi’s father Hy and asks for his blessing to marry his daughter. He pauses and tells Nick that in his family, commitment is for life and then shrugs and says sure, later interviewing that he would be O.K. with having Nick as a son-in-law. The one thing they can all agree on is this: Nick loves Andi. Nick and Andi make out on the couch to seal the deal.

Suave Hair Moments: Someone from Suave gives Andi a shiny coif. “Perfect for a rose ceremony,” decrees Andi. “Best of luck, Andi!” chirps Desiree. “You look wonderful,” notes Catherine. “Why did I watch this?” sighs a nation.

Josh Meets the Family: Josh notes that he only has one chance to make a first impression. He walks into the house and realizes that he is wearing the exact same blue button-down, white shorts outfit as Hy. Awkward! Despite the fashion faux pas, he hands Hy cigars, gives Patti flowers and hyperventilates all over the place. Patti rolls her eyes as Josh sweats through his shirt. They are all concerned that Josh is too much like Andi’s past boyfriends. Josh announces that he wants to marry Andi, and Hy gives him his blessing to propose to his daughter on prime time. Hy has no concerns about Josh whatsoever. In an interview, Josh announces, “Andi is my wife!”

Final Date With Josh: For their final date, Josh and Andi canoodle on a cruise around the Dominican Republic and Andi uses her law degree to grill Josh about what he said to her family. Josh flashes his pearly whites (is he sponsored by Crest White Strips?) and voice-overs that he wants to spend his life with his best friend. Then the producers make the wise decision to station a cameraman in the water to capture the moment that Andi’s bikini-clad behind enters the water after jumping off the boat with Josh and refraining from making a poignant metaphor about love and jumping. Back on land, Josh wants answers. Andi gives him a few without showing her hand or demanding to know why he thought red pants were a good choice for the evening. Josh hands her a baseball card with her name listed as Andi Murray, because of course she is changing her last name. Josh can’t imagine his life without her and Andi says “Josh is so my type” more times than Carl Gauss can count.

Final Date With Nick: For his final date with Andi, Nick opted to pair a blue V-neck T-shirt with blue athletic shorts for a Sad-Eyed-Smurf look. They go off-roading in the Dominican Republic, because it lends itself to the best marital metaphors. Andi and Nick do not canoodle. When Nick tells her that he’s going to marry her, she smiles politely; when they kiss, she holds her braid out of the way. That is not a good sign. Later, Andi stops by Nick’s hotel room and he overthinks and rambles and breathes heavily. Nick feels lucky and says he can’t wait to go grocery shopping with her. Nick hands her a box of sand from their first date. Sand? Sand.

Andi’s Choice: Andi feels passionately about Nick, but she also feels strongly about Josh. The men are nervous, and to prove this, the cameramen take a lot of photos of them staring moodily off into the middle distance. Then Neil Lane shows up to blow his annual promotional budget. Josh picks out an enormous rock.

The Drama: Then it is Nick’s turn. There’s a knock on the door, but it’s not Neil Lane. It’s Andi. The live-studio audience gasps. Chris polls the imported Bachelor/ette detritus about what it all means. Claire, who was loudly dumped by Juan Pablo Galavis, wishes that someone would have come to her door. Drew, who was abandoned by Desiree Hartsock, sadly reveals that it took him months to understand what had happened to him. In short: Andi’s arrival at Nick’s door is bad news for Nick.

The Big Talk: Andi tells Nick that she woke up this morning and just didn’t feel it. Something isn’t right, and she can’t go through with it. Nick is hyperventilating again and Andi joins him. Nick isn’t processing it. She apologizes a lot. Nick accuses her of “taking it too far” and wishing that she hadn’t said or done certain things. Then he takes his box of sand and goes home. But before he goes, he throws all of the roses he was going to scrapbook into the trash. Nick tears up in the limo, because he was in love. The studio audience cries with him. It rains as Andi thinks about what she’s done.

Josh and Andi Sitting in a Tree: At the final rose ceremony, Andi is bubbling out of her skin in excitement, which sounds like a special effect from a Guillermo del Toro movie, but isn’t that gross. Josh comes to find her and immediately launches into a well-prepared speech about how much he loves her. After pretending she was on the fence, she tells him she loves him and has loved him since the moment she first laid eyes on him. He drops to one knee and proposes. She says yes and kisses him while staring at the enormous Neil Lane diamond behind his back.

After the Final Rose: Nick wanders the streets of Wisconsin, heartbroken. He makes a decision and decides to go full creeper. He flies to L.A. to try and talk to Andi before the Men-Tell-All special. He has a heart to heart with Chris Harrison, who takes his message to Andi. She negs him and refuses to grant him an audience. Presumably that’s when Nick grabs a stereo and plays Elvis Costello’s stalker anthem “I Want You” outside Andi’s dressing-room window until the ABC security guards drag him away. Chris tells Andi that this was the second time Nick tried to see her and hands Andi a letter from Nick and suggests she read it (the “before we apply for a restraining order” is implied).

In the Studio: On stage with Chris, Nick blames Andi for giving him false hope and imbuing him with confidence. Nick swears that he likes Josh, stops to dry a tear and says he’ll always wonder about what he could have had with Andi. Chris reminds him that Andi can’t avoid him anymore. She comes out looking very guarded (or like she was wearing extreme Spanx). Nick’s hands shake as he pouts that Andi hurt him. She apologizes. He keeps talking about how hurt he is until he finally goes dark pointing out that if she didn’t love she shouldn’t have “made love” to him. Nick thought she did “fiancée kinds of things” in the Fantasy Suite, which is not a metaphor I am willing to unpack. (She made dinner for his unappreciative college friends?) Also, Nick: what happens in the Fantasy Suites, stays in the Fantasy Suites. Andi is not impressed with that one (Josh probably isn’t either). She tells Nick that she did care about him and that’s why she didn’t let him propose. She tried to be respectful. Chris calls the round after that, but the producers won’t let viewers pick it as “The Bachelorette Most Bleachable Moment.” Instead we are treated to a different awkward Nick moment from earlier in the season. Thanks a lot, Clorox.

The Sweet Ever After: The second Nick leaves and Josh joins Andi on stage, she starts to shine. They giggle, they tease, they hold hands and legs and knees and seem genuinely in love. Josh declares that the show works and to prove that, they randomly bring out Grumpy Cat. Because they can. Viva la Bachelorette!

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It’s The Bachelorette Finale: Will Andi Pick Josh or Nick?

CHRIS HARRISON, ANDI DORFMAN
THE BACHELORETTE - "Episode 1010" --Season Finale Javier Pesquera—ABC

Plus, watch a sneak peek of Andi's family meeting Nick and Josh

The Bachelorette‘s journey to love ends Monday night. If all goes according to script, over the course of the three-hour Bachelorette event, Andi Dorfman will end up with a strapping young gentleman kneeling before her, slipping a giant Neil Lane diamond ring on her finger. Not only will it be a great promotional moment for Neil Lane jewelers, but it will also be the crowning moment for the sultry Atlanta district attorney who started her fairy tale in the nightmare of sharing a fantasy suite with Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis.

After meeting a herd of producer-approved, gelled, bronzed and after-shaved bachelors, Andi has sorted, whittled, honed and thinned her flock of eligible life mates down to two possibilities: Nick V. and Josh M.

Nick V. is a software salesman from Wisconsin with an extremely large family, a predilection for poetry and a love of accent scarves. He wasn’t on The Bachelorette to make friends and proved that again and again. He did catch Andi’s eye early on, though, winning the coveted First Impression rose and sneaking many a quiet make out sessions with Andi. In his profile on ABC.com, he lists Dumb & Dumber among his favorite movies and says that “to feed off other’s [sic.] people’s energy is intense.”

Josh, a former pro baseball player, told ABC that if he was stranded on a desert island he would bring “a woman to be with and to have company, a gun to easily kill animals to eat, and a knife to carve them up,” which sounds delightful if you’re into that sort of thing and like a deleted scene from Silence of the Lambs if you’re not. Still, he and Andi — who has been known to take dates to target practice — have an unmistakable chemistry. Andi has already admitted that Josh is her type and since she liked his family, there isn’t much left in the “con” column. Plus, they are from the same part of the country. Long distances have been the death-knell for many a Bachelor-initiated relationship, but their Southern roots would eliminate that particular stressor. Also, he wears a size 13 shoe. (Just saying.)

So who will take the title? We’re Team Marquel, but as Andi already ditched him (and he was cast in forthcoming reality TV atrocity, Bachelor in Paradise), our money is on Josh.

Watch Josh sweat when he meets Andi’s family:

 

Watch Nick try to win Andi’s father’s blessing to wed his beloved daughter:

 

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The Bachelorette Watch: 11 Things We Learned When the Men Tell All

ABC

Andi and the gang look back on their time together before she picks her man. Some people get emotional and, oh, theres a live ultrasound!

Welcome back to The Bachelorette, where Andi Dorfman’s journey to love leads her through an Axe-sprayed Scylla and a spray-tanned Charybdis venting their issues on prime time on a two-hour special where the men tell all.

According to host Chris Harrison, Andi wracked up more “I love yous” than any contestant in The Bachelor‘s history. She left a lot of heartbreak in her wake, but before she can be toasted and roasted by the detritus she left behind, Chris has a surprise for the viewing audience who, apparently, “won’t believe this will be on TV, but it is.” With that warning, ringing in your ears, here’s what happened on The Bachelorette, “The Men Tell All”:

Nothing Is Sacred: Before the men can tell all, Bachelorette Ashley and her prize, JP, are on hand to announce that they are pregnant. But that’s not all! In a Bachelor first — and by that they mean an all-new low for a show that has made a weekly ritual of throwing nearly nude strangers into hot tubs together — Ashley and JP are going to find out if they are having a Bachelor or a Bachelorette on live TV. To expedite the process, Ashley has a hole cut in her maxi dress and the ultrasound technician douses her with gel right there on stage and they broadcast the ultrasound onto the monitors. And? It’s a bouncing baby Bachelor! Bigger question: Are they really this desperate for attention? Or did they sign airtight contracts denying them privacy for the rest of their lives or, perhaps, are we all truly on this journey together?

Accent Scarves Are All the Rage With the Reality Star Set: When the men are paraded into the set, they are all wearing accent scarves, and it’s hard to tell whether it’s a joke or they are just a very fashion-forward crowd.

It’s a Toss-Up for Mr. Congeniality: Marquel and Farmer Chris got the biggest cheers from the crowd.

The Producers Really Want Us To Watch Bachelor in Paradise: Not only did they show five extra-long commercials filled with bikinis, tears, sirens and Drama with a capital D, but they also brought some of the cast members to the show to sit in the audience and smile prettily like we won’t see them tearing each others’ hair and hearts out in a few weeks. Chris Harrison did his part by asking both Marcus and Marquel if they would like to find love “in paradise” with an almost straight face.

Silence Is the Best Policy: As the men rehashed whether or not Andrew made a racist comment, Andrew mangled his own defense by seemingly mixing up the show’s two lone men of color, saying he “really appreciated how Ron handled ” the situation, when, in fact, it was Marquel. It’s like he somehow managed to hit bottom and started digging.

Marquel Should Be the Bachelor: While it’s unlikely to happen, as he was cast on The Bachelor in Paradise, Marquel would have been an incredible and charismatic Bachelor. During his moment on stage with Chris Harrison, Marquel admitted that he thought Andi friend-zoned him, but in hindsight realized that he didn’t take enough initiative with Andi. Then he handed out his now trademark black-and-white cookies to the audience. Forget The Bachelor, Marquel for President!

Marcus Is Still Sad: He teared up watching his own highlight reel.

Farmer Chris Is the Best: He’s chiseled, charming, upright and downright mature. If he’s not the next Bachelor, he should be the spokesmodel for FarmersOnly.com.

The Audience Is Crazy: A woman — who was undoubtedly planted in the audience by the producers — interrupts the Chrises’ conversation, storms the stage and introduces herself to Farmer Chris. Chris Harrison shrugs and goes along with it, asking the woman — who claims she came alone to the show all the way from Toronto — if she wants to go on a speed date with Farmer Chris during the commercial break. She says heck yeah and gets comfy on the couch in her tiny romper and high, high heels.

The Lie-Detector Results Were Not Destroyed: During a group date in Italy, the men had to take a lie-detector test. Andi destroyed the results, though, but the producers saved a copy. Turns out that three men lied during their tests: Marcus, Dylan and Josh. Marcus claimed he slept with fewer than 20 women, which was a lie. Dylan said he prefers brunettes, which is not true. He also lied about the fact that he’s ready for marriage. What did he not lie about? That he doesn’t wash his hands after using the bathroom. He claims to use hand sanitizer instead, but tiny bottles of Purell are going to be hard to see in his Tinder profile.

Bloopers Are Still the Best: We learned that Coach Brian has a fear of pickles, Andi uses nose spray, a group date rose once got stuck on a silver tray and Farmer Chris does not know how to say “confident.”

Best Reason to Come Back Next Week: Andi’s dad finally makes his triumphant return to television to slap some sense into Nick, Josh and, hopefully, Andi as she tries to decide between Josh, who makes her feel “happy and hopeful,” and Nick, with whom she had an “immediate connection and attraction.”

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RECAP: The Bachelorette Watch: Three’s a Crowd in a Fantasy Suite

ABC

Andi and the three remaining contestants head to the Dominican Republic for some intimate time at the Fantasy Suites

Welcome back to The Bachelorette, where Andi Dorfman re-enacted The Hunger Games, substituting Cupid’s arrows for Katniss’s, but with equally deadly results. As the show heads to its inevitable conclusion (couch time with Chris Harrison discussing what went wrong), the herd of finalists have been winnowed down from a gazillion to merely three: former baller Josh, dead-behind-the-eyes Nick and Farmer Chris, who undoubtedly knows a few things about what happens to the cows left in the herd.

This week, though, everyone wants to be part of the flock — because it’s Fantasy Suites week! As the foursome head to the beautiful Dominican Republic (yes, Josh, they have baseball there), Andi finally gets to spend some quality alone time (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) with Nick and Josh and Chris, all on national television. Will she decide to be a role model for younger chaste women and publicly announce that she is planning to save herself until marriage and just cuddle on the bed amid the artfully strewn rose petals? Will she learn from her mistakes with Juan Pablo? Or will she cheerfully spend the night with three men while her nana watches at the retirement community? The only way to find out is to read on.

Here’s what happened on The Bachelorette:

The Men: As Andi reflects on her options she notes that she loves that Josh “just has that dark hair, tall build.” Strangely didn’t mention the cord attached to his mother. One thing she appreciates about Nick is that “when he kisses, he kisses” which is exactly what a long and healthy marriage is based on. She thinks Chris would be “an amazing father and amazing husband.” The “for someone else” is silent.

Nick: Helicopter alert! Nick and Andi fly into a private island for what Andi deems “an adult romance,” which the MPAA deems rated PG-13. After some initial kissing, canoodling and over-the-shirt groping, Andi remembers that she’s a prosecutor and grills Nick about his past breakups. She needs to know how he handled them so she doesn’t have to put him on suicide watch when she dumps him for someone without an accent scarf addiction later. Nick fumbles toward saying the L word, but only manages something about that lady show on Showtime. Andi suggests they make out in their snorkel gear instead. Later, during a romantic beach dinner, Nick writes Andi a fairy tale about two children being eaten by a witch, a story that would be preferable to the one he actually wrote about their love story. Seriously, Nicholas Sparks thought it was a bit much. Then they make out under a tree despite the fact that Nick is wearing pink pants. Nick manages to get Andi’s tongue out of his mouth long enough to finally professes his love for Andi and she replies, “I love hearing that,” which is just what everyone likes to hear. Then they head to the Fantasy Suites and make out on a couch right inside the door for our viewing “pleasure.”

Josh: After a long night with Nick, Andi showers (hopefully) (in Purell, hopefully) and heads out to meet Josh in Santo Domingo. Josh is very excited to see her, but not as excited as he is to watch a bunch of kids play baseball. Andi has arranged for him to watch some Little Leaguers practice because she knows he’s into that sort of thing. Josh is impressed that she pays attention and knows he likes baseball. That’s what happens when you mention something 6,000 times per episode, Josh. Later, he gets handsy while they sip from a coconut on a bench. Josh tells Andi that he told his family that he loves her. Since his family really likes to do things together, they are probably all watching from a hotel on the island, unless his brother has a football game going on. At dinner at a resort, Josh tells her that having that half-hour photo op with the kids makes him really want to have a lot of kids — possibly with her as he loves her and wants to marry and can really see her as his wife. After he accepts her Fantasy Suite proposal fireworks go off, both literally and metaphorically. Then they make out in the private pool in the Fantasy Suite.

Chris: After two all-nighters in the Fantasy Suites, some evil producer decided that Andi’s third date should involve horseback riding, even though she is very clear about the fact that she doesn’t like horses or horseback riding or even Chris all that much. She mentions several times that she’s not sure she’s at the Fantasy Suite point in her relationship with Chris (which is sad because I have a great “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” farming adage all teed up). While he is the sweetest and most romantic contestant, with the sneaky secret-admirer business he pulled off, sweet gestures and general charm, he does have one big turnoff: Iowa. Iowa is preventing Chris from … um, explaining animal husbandry with Andi in the Fantasy Suite. 4H didn’t prepare him for this. After the producers decide they have enough footage of Andi on horseback, they let her have a picnic under a tree with Chris and play yet another rousing round of his family’s favorite pastime, Ghosts in the Graveyard, which is basically hide and seek with a creepier name (hide and eek?).

After lunch, they have dinner at yet another romantic resort and talk about Iowa. A lot. It soon becomes apparent that Andi is not so much an Iowa fan as just trying to delay telling Chris that she’s just not that into him. She finally breaks it to him that it’s not Iowa, it’s you. She’s just not feeling it, because he is nice and sane and open and kind and operates on a reasonable plane of human emotion. Farmer Chris fights back tears as he is sent home to tend his crops and sow the seeds of love with a different woman, one who doesn’t mind living in a town the size of a grapefruit. (Fine, pomelo.) As a farmer, Chris knows a thing or two about the circle of life and how it’s sometimes necessary to thin a herd. He can think about it on his tractor or while he shreds the “Chris Loves Andi” banner in his thresher. It’s hard to believe Andi turned down the lifetime of free babysitting that Chris’ mom offered as part of the deal. She will undoubtedly regret it. Or not…

The Rose Ceremony: Despite the fact that there are only two contestants left and two roses to hand, the show must kill time with a Rose Ceremony ostensibly staged to prove post–Fantasy Suite that the men are really committed to finding love with Andi. Shockingly, they both are. Nick says their love is “amazing” while Josh is 100% certain that she’s going to be engaged to him next week.

Best Reason to Come Back Next Week: Andi’s scary father Hy is making his return to television!

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Brian Williams’ Dark Secret: He’s The Bachelorette’s Biggest Fan

Remember, fans: You are not alone

+ READ ARTICLE

The couch at a late-night talk show is the place where celebrities go to confess their sins, poke fun at themselves and admit their most embarrassing moments. Last night, on Late Night With Seth Meyers, Brian Williams managed to do all three simultaneously. The NBC anchor didn’t admit to not sorting his recycling or eating trans-fats, but rather, something far more pernicious: He came clean about the fact that he’s a huge fan of The Bachelorette.

It turns out that Williams — one of the most trusted names in the nightly news — has deep feelings about who current bachelorette Andi Dorfman should choose as her life mate. (“Life” being the time between the final rose, the televised marriage proposal and the time the couple hits the couch with host Chris Harrison to talk about what went wrong.)

“My wife and I are up to speed,” Williams confessed to Meyers, without a hint of embarrassment. “We have our own opinions about Andi and as Juan Pablo kind of divided us viewers, I think, into separate camps — Juan Pablo was a troubled man — and Andi has a huge choice to make and I think home visits will prove a lot. And after tonight, Seth, I think this will be a kind of new era going forward.”

“It’s gonna be an exciting night,” Williams said. And it was.

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RECAP: The Bachelorette Watch: Hometown Dating

ANDI DORFMAN, CHRIS
Andi travels to Arlington, Iowa, to visit Chris and his family Matthew Putney—ABC

The death of contestant Eric Hill is revealed to Andi and the bachelors

Welcome back to The Bachelorette, where each episode beautiful bachelorette Andi Dorfman walks further down that yellow brick road of love and other pheromones to the Emerald City, a.k.a. the Fantasy Suites. This week her journey takes her to four towns spread out across the nation, all of which, much like Connecticut and Brussels before them, are the perfect place to fall in love while accidentally ticking off your future mother in law when you refuse a second helping of her famous Waldorf salad, an incident that will come up at every family potluck until the inevitable divorce. Sounds fun, right?

Here’s what happened on The Bachelorette:

Nick in Milwaukee: To convince Andi that she should call Milwaukee home, Nick gives Andi a cheese hat, which probably did not come from Saks Fifth Avenue. Then, instead of taking Andi on a Laverne and Shirley–themed date, he just takes her on a tour of a brewery that has bravely made a Nick-and-Andi beer, which undoubtedly tastes both bitter and treacly. Then Nick tries to persuade her to declare her love of the Green Bay Packers. She won’t do it, though, because she is a woman of principles and Falcons fandom. This jovial rift will be great material for Nick and Andi’s annual Christmas letter to second cousins on both sides of the family.

Nick finally takes her home to meet all 793 family members who each wear accent scarves just like Nick. (Perhaps Costco had a bulk-buying discount?) The family home has a Pinterest-worthy wall full of gilded frames, lined up symmetrically, featuring all the family members. At his family home, Andi feels comfortable enough to admit that she only gave Nick the first-impression rose because she felt sorry for him. Everyone laughs while Nick remains dead behind the eyes. Nick’s sister tells Andi that he loves her, which would be incredibly juvenile, except that the sister is also wearing an accent scarf, which is the unmistakable sign of maturity. Another sister comes in to grill Andi, and Andi swears Nick is the Laverne to her Shirley (or more likely the Squiggy to her Lenny). Finally Nick’s mom starts crying because she knows Nick will make a great husband, because he was a very attentive son. Andi passes the final round of her inquisition by naming everyone in the framed pictures. As she bids farewell to Nick, he fumbles at the finish line and won’t say “I love you.”

(MORE: Death and the Maiden: How The Bachelorette Is Handling the Death of Eric Hill)

Chris in Arlington, Iowa: Farmer Chris’ hometown has a population of 758, which this day goes up to 759 with the addition of Andi. It’s a broad, brown wasteland, which is about 500 miles from the closest Frappuccino. Andi is, inexplicably, “super excited” to visit, but clearly not to live. “What would I do here?” she asks Farmer Chris, who pauses before pointing out that “there’s an opportunity to be a homemaker.” Andi resignedly doesn’t bash him in the head with her Louboutin nor book a bus out of town, but instead declares, “I’m not as city as you think. My family has a lake house in Alabama, and I hunt!” Cue the plane flying a “Chris Loves Andi” banner, which she declares is the cutest thing he’s ever done. Then they make out while Andi tries to get reception on her iPhone.

After an obligatory tractor ride on his big green John Deere, Farmer Chris takes Andi home to meet his family, who size her up like a 4-H entry. (Granted all the families on hometown dates do that, but on a farm it’s done with a more professional eye.) Chris’ sisters sell him hard, but his mother Linda is already sold. She tells Andi that they’ll make beautiful babies and she’ll babysit. Free babysitting is a great reason to get married. According to Linda, Andi has gumption, and she’s a tough cookie so she could make it on a farm. Then Linda says she loves Andi and Andi gives her a rose. Not really, but she may marry Farmer Chris out of guilt!

Josh in Tampa: Despite Josh’s inability to register human emotion, he is still the front-runner (maybe), and Andi is “super excited” to meet his family. Josh takes Andi to the baseball diamond. Did you know that Josh was a former professional athlete? Don’t worry, he’ll mention it a few dozen more times just to make sure it sinks in. Despite mentioning baseball every few minutes, Josh claims it’s hard for him to think about baseball because it makes him itch in a way that no amount of Lotrimin can help. So it’s special to bring her here. Andi thinks he looks hot when he plays baseball. Josh explains that he quit baseball to be there for Aaron, his brother, who is getting ready for the football draft. Then Andi goes to meet Josh’s family, which is just the solar system that revolves around the sun, a.k.a. his brother Aaron. Mom, dad and sister all remind Andi that Josh will be expected to attend all of Aaron’s games on the weekends and that the whole family plans to go to all the football games wherever they are. It’s pretty much like that Twilight Zone episode where everyone does everything the little girl says or else they die, but, you know, about football. Josh’s dad warns Andi, “You’d be marrying a family.” Then they all play family football.

Marcus in Dallas: Before Marcus takes Andi to meet his family — and he never brings anyone to meet his family — he recreates their Magic Mike group date by dressing up like a sailor and stripping for her. Not at all creepy! Marcus announces that he is madly in love with her. Andi smiles politely. Andi is only the second girl to meet Marcus’ family (no word on what happened to the first one). Apparently there is “a lot of love in the family despite the struggles,” which Marcus hinted at earlier. At the family homestead, Marcus’ sister worries that he’s overcaring, which he is, but his brother tells him just to go for it, even though Andi is clearly overwhelmed by all of Marcus’ Big Feelings. Playing for the cameras, Andi claims that “life with Marcus would be a fairy tale,” and as every faithful reader of the Brothers Grimm knows, fairy tales always end well. Marcus says Andi is his soul mate and that he’s ready to propose.

The Sorrow and the Pity: Instead of heading to a cocktail party for last-minute canoodling, Chris Harrison brings Andi and the four remaining men together to break the news about the death of contestant Eric Hill. It’s sad and somewhat unnecessary as the show has already done two tributes to Mr. Hill, and showing Andi’s reaction to the news is teetering toward exploitation territory (specifically, how Eric’s tragic death affected her and the show not, say, him and his family). Anyway, Andi is crying as she thinks about how the last time she saw Eric she yelled at him and kicked him off the show. Everyone else sits there feeling awkward, stunned and sad. Andi splits to take a breather only to return and talk about life and out, out brief candle and whatnot. The whole crew comes in and hugs everyone, puts the cameras down to come and hug, which makes it all so much stranger. Read more thoughts about how The Bachelorette handled the death of Eric Hill.

The Rose Ceremony: While the last time the show discussed Eric’s death, they cut out the rose ceremony, now, with Fantasy Suites on the line, they opt to awkwardly segue from tragedy to roses and romance. The show must go on! Andi has decisions to make about who she wants to sleep with in the privacy of a publicly aired prime-time television show. Since she already spent the night in a Fantasy Suite with Juan Pablo Galavis, it can only go up from there. The first rose goes to Josh. Farmer Chris gets the second one. The final rose goes to Nick, meaning that Marcus is no longer in the running to be America’s Next Top Dancing With the Stars contestant. Marcus cries as Andi assures him that he was open and vulnerable but a little too open and vulnerable. Andi prefers the dead-behind-the-eyes types like Nick and the emotionally stunted like Josh or the strong silent type like Chris, not the overly sensitive verging on bunny boiler type like Marcus.

Best Reason to Come Back Next Week: Fantasy Suites!

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RECAP: The Bachelorette Watch: Who Is Getting a Hometown Date?

ANDI DORFMAN, JOSH M.
Andi's one-on-one date with Josh is in the quaint town of Ghent Geert Vanden Wijngaert—ABC

If they survive dates with Andi, the guys will be bringing her home to meet their mom next week on hometown dates

Welcome back to The Bachelorette. This week is a very big deal, because whoever survives the rope climb, pole bridge, hammer dodge, spider walk and the pipe slider over a pit of lava will earn his freedom. O.K., fine. That’s not true, but you can’t fault anyone who would prefer to watch Sasuke meets The Running Man over watching Bachelorette Andi Dorfman read aloud from Belgium’s Wikipedia page: “Belgium is very unique, a melting pot, it has a lot of different languages, it has French, Dutch and Flemish.”

Yes, The Bachelorette has seemingly been bribed by Belgium’s accent-scarf and chocolate industries to bring its international key party to Belgium’s cobbled streets. The six remaining men are on high alert (or at least Josh’s pecs are) because if they survive the wall climb of death … er, delightful dates with Andi, they will be bringing her home to meet their mom next week on hometown dates.

Here’s what happened on The Bachelorette:

First Date: This week, host Chris Harrison earned his salary by showing up to the gents’ hotel room, cutting through the miasma of body spray, self-tanner and aftershave, handing out the contractually obligated accent scarves and reminding the men that hometown dates are next week and that there are no date roses and only one group-date rose. Before leaving on his one-man tour of Brussels’ finest mussels, he handed the first-date card out. Last week, Marcus committed a Bachelorette no-no and told Andi that he was considering leaving, but stayed for her. Normally that would result in a summary dismissal, but instead, Andi invites him out for the first date and a Taste of Brussels, which is apparently what the kids are calling it these days. Andi and Marcus eat, drink and talk about Marcus’ feelings. He has been journaling in his big-boy diary, and the process made him realize that he has real feelings for Andi. He adjusts his accent scarf and tells Andi that he is falling in love with her.

Andi tries to get the details about Marcus’ family before their hometown date. Marcus’ eyes go dark as he tells her that his dad abandoned the family and that his mom “did the best that she could.” Marcus then airs all the family’s dirty laundry and tells Andi that his grandparents “beat the best into her, literally, and that’s how his mom did it to him.” He fixed his relationship with his mother and she stayed up all night crying to him and now he sees his mom at least once a week. Andi can’t give him a rose, but pretends that she is excited to meet his family. Then they make out and Andi declares that Marcus “is a man, a total-package man.”

The Drama: A new date card is dropped off and when Dead-Behind-the-Eyes Nick realizes that his name is not on it, he gets in touch with his inner Courtney Robertson and springs into stalker mode. In a scene straight out of a Lifetime movie, he marches to the hotel’s front desk and tells the clerk that he lost his key and can’t remember his room number, but it’s under the name of “his wife,” Andi Dorfman. The clerk shrugs and gives him the key to Andi’s room. Hopefully the hotel’s Yelp page has now been updated to include something about the worst security ever. Nick runs upstairs to act out every scene from every Lifetime movie ever. Andi is surprised to see him, but happily agrees to go for a walk with him even though it breaks the fake rules of the show. They make out while walking the streets at night and Andi deems the breach of personal space and security hot, mistaking Nick’s all-encompassing creepiness for “passion.”

Second Date: It seems clear that Josh is the season’s front-runner. He and Andi had an instant and easy chemistry and as they both live in Georgia, they could avoid all the awkward conversations about which one is uprooting their lives to live closer to some random they met and dated on national television. However, Josh is not being forthcoming about his feelings and Andi (and the producers) are determined to make him declare his love before hometown dates. Andi is concerned that he will break her heart if she doesn’t hear that he is falling in love with her in the first four dates. Josh gets so far as to tell her that he is looking forward to her meeting the family, that he is nervous, that he is serious, and that he has “feelings for her,” but he won’t say the L word. Finally, in a castle in Ghent, he admits that he is falling in love with her. He is rewarded for his efforts with a make-out session in front of yet another band trying to avert their eyes while playing a private concert.

The Group Date: Farmer Chris, Coach Brian, Dead-Behind-the-Eyes Nick and Sad Dylan are escorting Andi on a tour of an old monastery. They are warned that the ground is sacred and kissing is verboten and one can only hope that someone tries to slip one in and God himself smites them, Old Testament–style, which would make for seriously must-see TV. Andi reminds them that there is a rose on this date, and the men are all determined to win it. Farmer Chris and Andi re-enact the only scene from Ghost that anyone remembers. They are allowed to sneak in a few kisses, because the pottery barn is off the monastery premises. Dylan’s alone time with Andi is glossed over, which does not bode well for him. Coach Brian has a “strategy for winning” that he probably wrote down on a clipboard and is moving away “from his game plan.” It’s just too bad he can’t wear an accent scarf and a whistle simultaneously. He tells Andi that he is falling in love with her. Sadly, he has never said those words before. He deems it a good feeling, which he squelches by dumping Gatorade on himself. Andi smiles politely. Nick tells Andi he knows he is going to marry her, because he knows she loves him too. Andi thinks that was hot and not creepy and hands him the rose while the other men make gagging noises. The men are swept away so Andi and Nick can have some alone time. As the men grouse that Nick is not there for the right reasons, Andi and Nick make out in a restaurant. When Nick finally returns to the hotel room, the men glare and grumble at him for prioritizing “the strategy” over Andi.

The Cocktail Party: Farmer Chris is determined to get a rose and bring Andi home to meet the cows. He tells her that he lives in “a really small town in Iowa, but it’s beautiful.” Dylan promises that he will propose to her in three weeks. Coach Brian tries to convince Andi that Harrisburg is worth a visit, but gives up when Nick interrupts him and steals Andi away. Nick cries to the camera that he found “that person.” (Presumably he means the person who will bring him to fame and notoriety.) Farmer Chris makes one last play: he tells Andi that he forgot to do something important and kisses her. Andi is a sucker for that sort of thing.

The Rose Ceremony: Nick has a rose already, and it’s no surprise when Josh and Marcus are handed roses on their dates. The final rose goes to Farmer Chris.

Who Went Home: Coach Brian is going to have to come up with a few new plays and Sad-Backstory Dylan will have to find someone else to woo on a train in Connecticut. (By the way, in case you think Andi is heartless for dismissing Dylan, when he read this week’s date card to the men, he prefaced it by saying, “Are you girls ready?” So he was dismissed for cause.)

Best Reason to Come Back Next Week: Join us for Oedipal Fun Time when it turns out that Josh’s mom looks an awful lot like Andi!

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RECAP: The Bachelorette Watch: Italian Cheese and Whine

ANDI DORFMAN, NICK V.
Andi and the gang head to Venice for some typically touristy activities Barbara Zanon—ABC

To be clear: Romeo & Juliet would never have been on The Bachelorette

Welcome back to The Bachelorette, where each week Andi takes another step on her journey to find love among the well-groomed masses of man meat curated for her by the show’s producers. It’s very natural. This week the group heads to Italy, which, much like Connecticut, is the perfect place to fall in love. With hometown dates on the horizon, the tension and competition is ratcheting up. It’s very exciting.

Here’s what happened on The Bachelorette:

First Date: Cody is the only one who hasn’t had a one-on-one date yet, so the entire gaggle of guys expect Andi to choose him for the first date. Instead, she opted for Nick. She explains that this is her journey to love and she needs to do what she thinks is right, which is very Kelly Taylor of her. Plus, she probably doesn’t want to be alone in public with Cody, because his elaborate manscaping would reveal the flaws in her own skin-care regime. Nick and Andi play Venetian tourists doing all those Venetian tourist things. Then Nick and Andi ruin thousands of years of superstition by kissing as they glide beneath Venice’s famed Bridge of Sighs, proving that it does not, in fact, guarantee everlasting love. Because these two? No. He’s dead behind the eyes and eventually she will realize that. Later, to reinforce every Venetian stereotype, a masked Andi floats up to meet a tuxedoed Nick for dinner in a heavily frescoed palazzo. This may be the first jealous-worthy date of the season. That is, until Andi lays into Nick about her feelings that he was an arrogant jerk who deemed himself the “front-runner.” He says it’s hard to imagine that anyone else has a connection with her like he does. He swears the men are his friends, but he’s not going to quash his feelings to make them feel better. Andi softens when he stares at his toes and blushes and tells her that he is falling in love with her. Girls are silly like that. She gives him the rose. Sucker.

Suave Update: Suave is scraping the bottom of the Bachelor barrel and giving Renee Oteri a makeover. If you stopped to ask, “Who?” — that is the point exactly. She was one of the many lucky ladies who got to bring Juan Pablo Galavis home to meet mom and dad. I forgot my kindergarten teacher’s name to bring you that factoid.

Worst Analogy: As they don Venetian masks, Nick makes a gag-inducing speech about how he was “masking his feelings for Andi” and is now “unmasking them.”

The Big Mystery: Andi gets another note from her still unnamed secret admirer. It’s not a haiku, so Nick is out. It’s not about himself, so it’s not Josh. It’s not on Indiana Pacers stationery, so Coach Brian is out, and it’s not written in tears and suntan oil, so it’s not Cody. Maybe Farmer Chris?

Best Group Date Ever: The six men on the group date (well, specifically, Farmer Chris, four wannabe men and a pantspreneur) wander the streets of Venice until they stumble into a dark dungeon-like space, where Andi announces that they are all going to take a lie-detector test. Doesn’t that sound fun? The men visibly pale and a few start sweating. Two men straight out of central casting for burly Italian types administer the tests, asking such burning questions as: Are you here for the right reasons? Are you ready for marriage? Do you want kids? Do you wash your hands after you use the restroom? Dylan goes back to the hotel with some mysterious stomach ailment (probably after hearing that someone answered “No” to that last question.)

The Worst Results Ever: The proctors report that at least three men lied during their tests, but Andi told two lies, so they all deserve one another. Andi busts her results open and reveals that she lied when she said she thought everyone was there for the right reasons. Instead of finding out which of the menfolk have their pants on fire, she decides to tear up their results, so now we will never know which of the men murdered their sister’s hamster in second grade. We were robbed.

The After Party: While Cody and Nick sit in the sauna together, Andi bravely walks up cobblestones in high heels to drink wine and make out with five men consecutively. She deserves some serious merit badges for that. During the party, Coach Brian administers his own lie-detector test. They make out. Marcus tells her that he considered leaving, but stayed for her. They make out. Josh borks his alone time and gives Andi cause for doubt. They do not make out. Her batting average improves when Farmer Chris confesses that he is her secret admirer. They make out and he gets the Group Date Rose. FarmersOnly.com is really missing out with this guy. Then Andi leaves, and the men sit around to talk about their feelings. Needless to say, Italy has a lot of whine.

Second Date: Cody finally gets to go on a one-on-one date with Andi and King Chucklehead, as he is fondly known around these parts (my couch), is convinced that if Andi spends just a few minutes of alone time with him they will definitely fall in love. The producers help him out by setting him up in Verona, Italy, a.k.a. the hometown of fictional overly dramatic teenagers Romeo and Juliet. They recreate a few famous scenes (skipping the suicide pact, natch) and then hole up to answer letters that lonely hearts across the world write to Juliet. Cody announces that he’s very emotional, and Andi nods politely and pats him on the back when they leave. Clear sign of no chemistry, whatsoever. At dinner, to prove he’s both vulnerable and ready to get down and dirty, he wears a deep V tee to show his cleavage. He almost redeems himself writing his own letter to Juliet all about Andi. He tells her that he wants to be bold for her. He wants to hug her and squeeze her and “roll around with her.” He goes on and on about how much he likes her and wants to get to know her and never notices that she’s crying and they are not tears of joy. She confesses that she just wants to be friends. His Tintin hair wilts a little at the news. He is shocked (shocked!) to be going home.

The Cocktail Party: Despite already having a rose, Nick cock-blocks everyone at the party by grabbing Andi before she could make the obligatory rounds of the room and pulling her into a room to make out. The men do not approve, and not just because of the germs. Dylan is particularly upset, because no one remembers that he is on the show. Also because he got sick and couldn’t stick around the Group Date long enough to remind Andi that he exists. Coach Brian reads her a letter. They make out. Marcus announces that he is in love with her. They make out. Josh tries to mend the damage he did in their last conversation and assures her that he does have strong feelings for her. Andi and Chris Harrison have an intense heart-to-heart about her feelings and her heart. She is doubting the process, which is just one of the five stages of being The Bachelorette.

The Rose Ceremony: First rose goes to Dylan, which is unexpected and hopefully he comes with his own bottle of Purell. Coach Brian takes the second rose. Marcus comes in third, and Josh takes the final rose.

Who Went Home: JJ, who was looking a little rough around the edges this evening, is leaving to continue pursuing his dream of being a pants tycoon and not just a pantspreneur. Andi gives JJ the same spiel she gave Cody. Namely, she’s just not that into him. Riding in the dump truck to be deported back to the States, JJ bemoans the loss of the future mother of his future children that he can leave his pants empire to when passes away to the great pantsadise in the sky.

Best Reason to Come Back Next Week: Before we head into hometown dates, Andi’s path to love leads the hunky herd to Brussels, and they pack all the drama into their carry-on bags.

Best Misunderstanding: The heavily accented lie-detector proctors wanted to know whether the men had ever fought in public, but every single one of the men misunderstood the question and thought they asked, “Have you ever farted in public?” Every single one of them said yes. Bet Andi wishes she hadn’t torn up those test results now!

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