TIME relationships

The Science of Happily Ever After: How Millennials Beat the Odds to Find Love

Millennials know that living happily ever after is a long shot, but they're not giving up. Here are some of the strategies young people are using to find love.

Like generations before them, millennials were told bedtime stories that ended happily ever after, but they have grown up to find a new technology-driven dating scene that has lost the plot. I’ve spoken with many millennials while touring for my new book, The Science of Happily Ever After, and the question I hear over and over is: “Does happily ever after even exist?”

It’s a fair question from a group of young people who watched almost 50% of their parents’ generation divorce, another 10% permanently separate and another 7% remain in unhappy marriages. Maybe it’s because I’m from Gen X, but a one-in-three chance of finding enduring love sounds a little depressing to me. But millennials are an optimistic bunch, so they’re usually relieved to hear that enduring love exists, even if they know that the odds are not in their favor.

Although singles of all ages yearn to find enduring love, many are uncertain about how to navigate the thousands of dating partners that are now available through online dating sites and mobile apps. Technology has given singles far more choice than previous generations, which sounds good in theory, but people are finding that the sheer volume and speed produced by dating technologies quickly becomes overwhelming.

It’s what social psychologist Barry Schwartz calls the “tyranny of freedom”: a feeling of being overwhelmed, uncertain and anxious when we are given too many choices and no updated framework for managing those choices. Singles of all ages feel dizzied from the carousel of Tinder photos, resigned to the hundreds of online dating messages sitting in their inboxes and weary from serial hookups that eventually give one’s love life an unbearable lightness. Collectively, these changes can give single young people a feeling of derealization, far away from the days of getting to know the girls next door over a milkshake at the soda fountain.

However, millennials are accustomed to a postmodern world that does not always provide genuine experiences. They didn’t have to put worms on their fishing lines, but instead were fed genetically modified fish, raised in a fake stream on a fish farm, that was colored to look more fish-like. They watched the economy almost collapse after Wall Street sold loans of loans, packaged in algorithmically complex securities, which led everyone to forget what the loans were worth in the first place. Millennials watched what happens when life becomes representations of representations and they decided that this is no way to live.

Now they are finding that the convenience of Tinder geolocation or algorithmic online matches can insert a layer of artifice, which makes it harder to really get to know someone. Like other aspects of their lives, millennials want to find a process that is more organic, a method of dating that is more real. Maybe that’s why millennials seem less inclined than previous generations to fall in love with the idea of marriage and instead are determined to find the right person for marriage.

I decided to write The Science of Happily Ever After based on the premise that good relationships come from choosing good partners. I do not promise love in ten days or the one secret to finding your soulmate, but instead provide a framework and methods for assessing the traits that really matter while choosing a partner. As I have talked about the book with university students around the country, I have realized that millennials have certain tendencies that are already changing the way we date and that there are a few things we can learn from them. Here are a few valuable lessons from the way millennials search for love:

  • Be Clear About Your Goal: It sounds obvious that singles need a goal, but previous generations often felt trapped by narrow societal views of marriage. Millennials are generally more open to diversity, which has broadened our views of what can be a happy marriage, including changes in beliefs about gender roles, support of gay marriage and more favorable attitudes about interracial marriage.
  • Be Smart: Millennials are generally optimistic, but they delight in smart, contrarian views of cultural standards. They eagerly latch onto research findings that demonstrate how holding onto fairy tale notions of the beautiful princess, powerful princes, and fate delivering a soulmate, actually make it less likely that one’s love story will end happily ever after.
  • Find Undervalued Traits: Millennials do not want fate to provide the answer, they want to find an answer through their resourcefulness. They love the Moneyball aspect of the book, the idea that just as there were undervalued traits in baseball players that were key to winning, there are also undervalued traits in romantic partners that are key to happy relationships.
  • Take Action: Although millennials deliberate before acting, they don’t ruminate, which makes them amenable to solution focused psychological approaches. They want to create dating habits that create creating congruence between what they know are the right decisions in relationships and how they actually act.
  • Keep The Faith: Millennials may be dissatisfied with modern dating, but they are not giving up. They know that who you choose as a marital partner is one of the most important decisions you make in your lifetime and they are powered by an optimism that they will find a better way to do it.

Ty Tashiro, Ph.D. is a relationship expert and author of The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love. Visit him online at www.tytashiro.net.

TIME Dating

LoveRoom and Other Apps That Should Be Reality Shows

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You never know... nullplus—Getty Images

The folks who created the 'Tinder of AirBnB,' are now casting a reality TV show about hooking up with renters. But why stop there? Here are 6 more app mash-ups that would make great TV

Reality shows have been putting humans together in twisted ways for more than a decade now, but like everything else, apps are now involved. LoveRoom is like the demon love child of Airbnb and Tinder; the premise is that hosts can use this social platform to rent out their spare rooms to hotties who just might have sex with them. And if its creators have their way, some of these antics will be fodder for broadcast TV.

To be clear, LoveRoom doesn’t have any official relationship with either AirBnB or Tinder, but they might as well be family. This mash-up of 21st century convenience apps is casting its own reality show founder Joshua Bocanegra told BetaBeat. An announcement on LoveRoom’s website says the show is seeking “sexy singles” with “dynamic personalities” who are “looking for love — or maybe just a hookup — in their cities.” (Which is of course way different from all the reality shows who want to cast people with boring personalities who hate sex.)

Bocanegra didn’t reveal which production company he’s working with, or any other details of the show, but he did say that the show would be “on national television” by October even though the concept hasn’t been picked up by a network yet. Sounds a little sketchy on the details, but that didn’t stop us from thinking of other app pairings that could make the leap to reality TV.

1. Words With Friends + Coffee Meets Bagel = LoveLetters

The app would sync your Words With Friends challengers with daily romantic matches from Coffee Meets Bagel. The reality show could be a couples Words With Friends round-robin tournament where contestants with dynamic personalities and large vocabularies have to choose between love and victory.

2. CandyCrush + Venmo = CandyCost

CandyCrush is already supremely addictive, but what if you could win cash? CandyCost the app would match users against specific players so you could put real money on the table (if that were legal.) The reality show can place 20 drama-loving contestants on a deserted island and them face-off on high-stakes CandyCrush games. Think Survivor meets the Player Channel.

3. Hinge + Kindle = Book of Love

The app would set you up with friends of friends who are reading the same chapter of the same book. The reality TV show would be the Oprah’s Book Club of love. Everyone would have to take a reading quiz at the end of each episode, and the person with the lowest score gets eliminated. Oh, and everyone has to wear bathing suits the whole time.

4. Seamless + FourSquare = FoodSquare

The app would tell you which friends are close by and want to split a food order with you. The reality TV show would feature 20 contestants who battle to agree on what to order for dinner. The hitch is that each contestant has a food allergy, but nobody knows about anybody else’s allergies.

5. Instagram + Epicurious = InstaCulinary

The app would tell you how to make the food you see on Instagram. The TV show would make amateur chefs compete to prepare food found on celebrity Instagrams. Then the celebrities would taste the food to select the winner each episode.

6. SnapChat + Grindr = SnapR

Obviously this app would feature raunchy pictures that disappear. The reality TV show would be like one of those memory card games where contestants have to match the body part to the owner. Then they compete to find true love with a sensitive partner who appreciates them for who they are.

 

 

 

 

 

TIME Advertising

Surprise! The New Axe Body Spray Ad is Super Romantic

Does Nicholas Sparks write Axe ads now?

Axe is leaning away from their men-surrounded-by-ladies thing and getting a little sentimental in their new ad. Because sex sells, but love sells more. Even to guys.

Somehow they’ve gone from hundreds of women clawing at a single Axe-spraying bro to a hunky time-traveler chasing his true love through history. It’s sure to catch the attention of that 13-year-old who loves sword fighting and is just about ready to start wearing deodorant. Watch it here:

 

The company definitely recycled the costumes from Game of Thrones for that first part with the cavemen, but it’s still cute. And we’re pretty sure Jack Dawson from Titanic probably would have worn Axe.

TIME Culture

The Game of Thrones Sex Scene Can’t Be Both Rape and Not Rape

Jaime, played by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, and Cersei, played by Lena Headey, in Game of Thrones HBO

The director suggests that nonconsensual sex can become consensual. Why that's not right

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

Sunday night on Game of Thrones, Jaime forced himself on Cersei. This was problematic for a number of reasons: they’re siblings; they were having sex next to their son’s dead body; and said dead son was the product of their incest. But the biggest problem with that scene was that Jaime raped Cersei … and some of the people on the Game of Thrones cast and crew who have been interviewed about the episode don’t seem to acknowledge it as such.

Margaret Lyons over at Vulture has already done a great job of explaining why, exactly, that scene was rape. (Cersei says “No” repeatedly, to which Jaime replies, “I don’t care.”) In the piece, Lyons quotes two of the Game of Thrones folks hedging against actually calling the assault rape.

Director Alex Graves told Alan Sepinwall at HitFix: “It becomes consensual by the end.”

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, the actor who plays Jaime, told the Daily Beast: “There are moments where [Cersei] gives in, and moments where she pushes him away. But it’s not pretty.” When asked if Cersei was raped, he answered, “Yes and no.”

The scene was enough to make everyone squirm, and it raises questions like, why did the script writers decide to diverge from the book (in which the sex was consensual — but still creepy for all the reasons listed above)? And will they handle the Cersei’s reaction to the incident with nuance and sensitivity? We might even ask why we keep seeing so much rape on TV. (I have my own theories.)

But first, we ought to take a moment to recognize that this incident isn’t a “gray area.” If a woman or man does not consent to a sexual act, and the other person forces him or her to continue, it’s rape. An incident cannot be both rape and “not rape.” There is no “yes and no” about it. A rape cannot “become consensual at the end.” You do not convince someone over the course of the act that they actually consented.

A lot of people — especially a lot of young people — watch Game of Thrones, and I imagine many of them read interviews with people like Graves and Coster-Waldau after the show. So it’s important that public figures like these should be conscious about how they respond to and describe these issues. How will victims of sexual assault be affected when a director and an actor in one of television’s most popular shows question whether no really means no?

I imagine that Graves and Coster-Waldau’s interpretations of the scene are linked to the common misconception that a person cannot be raped by his or her significant other. Jaime and Cersei are (however twisted it might be) a couple, and therefore some might falsely assume that all their sex must be consensual. But it’s not. That was rape. And I believe it’s important to acknowledge that, otherwise we risk delegitimizing assault.

To his credit, George R.R. Martin — who wrote the Song of Ice and Fire books upon which the Game of Thrones TV series is based — responded to fans’ concerns on Monday in the comments section of his own blog (Martin was not involved in writing the script for this episode):

In the novels, Jaime is not present at Joffrey’s death, and indeed, Cersei has been fearful that he is dead himself, that she has lost both the son and the father/ lover/ brother. And then suddenly Jaime is there before her. Maimed and changed, but Jaime nonetheless. Though the time and place is wildly inappropriate and Cersei is fearful of discovery, she is as hungry for him as he is for her.

The whole dynamic is different in the show, where Jaime has been back for weeks at the least, maybe longer, and he and Cersei have been in each other’s company on numerous occasions, often quarreling. The setting is the same, but neither character is in the same place as in the books, which may be why Dan & David played the sept out differently. But that’s just my surmise; we never discussed this scene, to the best of my recollection.

Also, I was writing the scene from Jaime’s POV, so the reader is inside his head, hearing his thoughts. On the TV show, the camera is necessarily external. You don’t know what anyone is thinking or feeling, just what they are saying and doing.

If the show had retained some of Cersei’s dialogue from the books, it might have left a somewhat different impression — but that dialogue was very much shaped by the circumstances of the books, delivered by a woman who is seeing her lover again for the first time after a long while apart during which she feared he was dead. I am not sure it would have worked with the new timeline.

That’s really all I can say on this issue. The scene was always intended to be disturbing… but I do regret if it has disturbed people for the wrong reasons.

Though Martin never explicitly calls the scene rape, he does express regret that the way it was presented on screen has upset people, which is a step in the right direction.

TIME Science

Science Confirms It: Springtime Is Sexy Time

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A scientific study said that human fertility rates are actually impacted by changes in the seasons and weather

Spring is a time of renewal for the Earth—temperatures rising, plants springing forth, the summer ahead. But science says it should also mean a renewal of your sex life.

It’s not just the abundance of all that exposed skin outside; human fertility rates are actually impacted by changes in the seasons and weather, according to scientific study. As Jared Keller writes in Pacific Standard, “the perfect time of year to conceive… is when the sun shines for about 12 hours and the temperature hovers between 50 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit.” In other words, right now.

A 2002 study found that there are two seasonal peaks in adolescent sexual activity: the early summertime months and the winter holidays. What’s more, summertime sexy time was more likely to occur between partners who weren’t previously romantically involved.

Slate discovered that those in hotter areas like Miami tend to have more sex than their cold-weather counterparts, though they explain that any pheromones getting released might be denatured by the heat.

We better hurry up and get busy, before it just gets too hot to stay in the same bed as another sweaty human.

TIME Dating

Washer Seeks Dryer: ‘Laundry Bistros’ Are the New Dating Frontier

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At least you'll have clean underwear in this new wrinkle on the dating scene.

Correction appended, April 15

The new place for over scheduled New Yorkers to land a date could be a…laundromat.

The Wash House, a small “laundry bistro” with three washers and three dryers that opened March 6 in the East Village (think “La Vie Boheme” from Rent), offers drop off service in a casual, coffee house setting, and hopes to cater to young workaholics who may be trying to turn the tide on their neglected social lives, so to speak.

“We want to cater to up-and-coming young professionals who are working so hard trying to build whatever business they’re building that they don’t have time to go meet people,” says Veronica Kerzner, one of the owners.

With the café handling the wash and fold in the back, customers are freed up to mingle in the front. There’s a “Laundry Today or Naked Tomorrow” sign right by the bar where customers can order a beer, coffee, or an artisanal Challah bread sandwich with Nutella, mascarpone, strawberry, and honey. Then they can hunker down on one of the stools under the giant roman numerals clock that says “Drop Your Pants Here” across the face and strike up conversation with someone. That way, it looks like “you’re not there to pick up girls, you’re there to do your laundry,” says Christopher Conlon, another owner of the Wash House.

“I have thought about doing a speed-dating thing here just because doing laundry is so intimate,” he says. “You’re bringing in your undergarments, you’re cleaning, you’re cleansing, but maybe you’re trying to find someone too, so you kind of take away that thin veil that everyone has on.”

“It’s like the new way to pick up people — at the laundromat!” Kerzner chimes in, citing the music video for “Every Heartbeat”, in which Grammy-winning singer Amy Grant (known for “Baby, Baby”) meets the glance of a hot guy, and the two toss aside the book they are reading called “Shyness” and start unbuttoning their clothes.

The Wash House is just the latest in the cycle of laundromat cafés. They popped up around the country from the mid-1980s through the early 2000s. In the late 80s, singles would go to Oasis Laundry in San Jose, Calif., on Friday nights and watch movies. A Des Moines, Iowa-based chain Duds ‘N Suds boasted “good clean fun” like pool tables and warm pretzels with cheese sauce. Saga Launder Bar & Cafe in Chicago, a combination laundromat and sports bar, promoted “Buds and suds”, while partygoers danced the night away to DJ mixes at The Laundry Bar in Miami Beach, Florida.

While most laundromat cafés have washed up, the one that is still as hot as ever is BrainWash in San Francisco’s SOMA (South of Market) neighborhood, where, since 1989, residents have done their own laundry in a café and live music setting — an atmosphere that not only fostered a sense of community in the area, but also brought people together in a romantic sense.

“You’re sitting at the same folding table, that’s a natural place for conversation,” says Susan Schindler, founder of BrainWash, who ran it between 1989 and 1997. “I used to always joke it was great because a guy could look and see exactly what kind of underwear a girl is wearing as she’s folding. So of course there were very romantic hookups.” During her tenure, a couple that met there got married there. “I think [the bride] walked down the aisle between the washers.”

Washing and folding clothes with someone you don’t know is a fast way to get to know someone–you’re seeing their delicates after all. But there are pitfalls. After observing a public laundromat, sociologist Regina Kenen found people engaged in “impression management”, concealing “padded bras, torn underwear, stained garments, or even designer bedsheets” to avoid revealing too much personal information.

So will the Wash House catch on in a world of hyper-efficient Tinder-style apps that connect people virtually? There is some indication that combining a chore and dating is appealing to millennials. According to data provided to TIME by HowAboutWe Dating, a dating website in which individuals nationwide and in more than 30 countries connect by posting and responding to unusual date ideas, nearly 1 in 10 U.S. users like to multitask their first dates with errands. New Yorkers are the most likely to suggest errand dates compared to singles living in other U.S. cities, and errand dates make up 7% of dates suggested in New York over the past six months. In fact, shopping — at supermarkets, flea markets, antique shops, or the Apple Store — is the most popular errand date idea, with “dog walking / going to the dog park” coming in second, apartment hunting at third, the gym at fourth, and laundry at fifth.

At the very least it’s a refreshing change from the standard drink and dinner date suggestion. “Doing something that’s like, ‘Let’s have champagne in a laundromat,’ definitely catches your eye,” says Jessica Tom, HowAboutWe’s Community Director. “Sure you’re getting something done, but you’re also getting noticed for being a little offbeat.”

In fact, supermarkets are gearing up to be the next unlikely date site nationwide. Throughout the Midwest, Hy-Vee supermarkets are adding restaurants with bars that start serving alcohol at 11 a.m. Bar Lamar at Whole Foods in Austin offers wine on tap until 10 p.m., while a 99-cent “walk-around beer” could give customers the kind of liquid courage they need to approach someone they find attractive in the store.

“The more multitasking that exists in a space, the more likely people will talk to each other,” says BrainWash’s Susan Schindler. Put another way, to use a laundry metaphor, balance your load, balance your life.

Correction: The original post misstated the worldwide presence of the HowAboutWe Dating site. It reaches more than 30 countries.

TIME Dating

Dating Narcissism: Why We Look for Ourselves in a Partner

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Marga Buschbell Steeger—Getty Images

When it comes to dating, maybe you're the yin to your own yang

When How I Met Your Mother wrapped up last week, fans were delighted to find out that the mother of Ted’s children was his soul mate. Why? Because she was just like Ted: they shared the same dorky interests, a similar sense of humor and a taste in yellow umbrellas. They even shared the same initials! And many complained when (spoiler alert) in the final minutes of the episode, Ted decides to court Robin, a character who in many ways is Ted’s opposite.

In the search for a partner, we struggle to determine who’s our best match. Is it someone who complements us?—the guy who’s calm when you’re emotional; the girl who’s organized when you’re messy? Or is it someone who looks, thinks and acts like us? Do opposites attract or do they “attract and then attack” as eHarmony advertises?

The attributes of the person who “completes” us has befuddled singles for centuries: In Plato’s Symposium, a philosopher asserts that humans began as androgynous creatures with both male and female parts. The gods split each creature in half, separating one being into man and woman. The result? We now spend our lives looking for our soulmate, the one who makes us whole—though it’s unclear whether that other half is just like us or the yin to our yang.

But Plato didn’t have the luxury of examining data from dating sites. An analysis of eHarmony users by FiveThirtyEight.com this week found that while 86 percent of people say they want someone who “complements” them (as opposed to someone who “resembles them”), women and men are much more likely to message those who are similar to them not only in terms of age, attractiveness, education, race and income, but also in terms of less obvious traits like intelligence, creativity and humor. And then there’s the Boyfriend Twin Tumblr that recently surfaced, featuring gay couples that look almost identical running under the headline, “What’s sexier than dating yourself?” A similar Siblings Or Dating? website features straight, gay and lesbian couples who look like they could be related.

Both of these blogs tap that impulse to be with someone who echoes your own personality and looks. That urge is called homogamy, a marriage between two individuals who are extremely similar. For decades, we’ve been becoming more homogamous in terms of education, income, religion and even looks. A Slate article on the Boyfriend Twin Tumblr cites a study that shows people are attracted to versions of themselves: researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign altered their subjects’ faces into those of strangers and asked them to evaluate the strangers’ attractiveness. Subjects favored faces that looked like their own. Another study found that people are even more attracted to those who share superficial traits like letters in their names and birthdays with them.

Social scientists are already anxious about the amount of time we spend thinking about and looking at ourselves, what with the hours we spend advertising our thoughts and activities on social networks and the rise of the selfie. Now it looks like we’re dating ourselves too. It smacks of narcissism — and remember what happened to Narcissus, who was so entranced with his own reflection in a pool of water that he couldn’t move and eventually was transformed into a flower.

But there may be hope for us narcissists yet. Biologically speaking, we’re built to be attracted to people who are dissimilar to us. A famous 1995 study that asked women to smell the sweaty t-shirts of men found that women preferred the smells of those who were genetically dissimilar to them. (Though notably this wasn’t true for women on the pill.) Scientifically speaking, opposites really do attract. Experts have a clear explanation for our tendency towards genetic diversity: our bodies are trying to prevent us from inbreeding. Plus, parents with more diverse MHC genes birth offspring with better immune system.

This genetic diversity impulse cannot apply to gay couples where reproduction is taken out of the equation. And yet data suggests that gay and lesbian couples, too, prefer diversity in their partners. Though Boyfriend Twin may be a fun Tumblr, research shows that gay couples are actually a lot less likely to be homogamous than straight couples.

So in the end which dating impulse wins out? Our narcissistic tendencies, or the quest to diversify our gene pool?

It turns out there may be no universal truth. An October study from Rutgers University found that a specific balance of chemicals affects what type of person each individual is attracted to. People with active dopamine levels (impulsive, curious types) or high serotonin levels (social, conscientious types) tended to like people similar to themselves. But men with high testosterone tended to be drawn to women with high estrogen and oxytocin levels (and vice versa). So who you fall for all boils down to how the chemicals are distributed in your brain.

TIME Sex

Equality At Last: Teen Boys and Girls Have Similar Views on Sex and Porn

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David Ryle—Getty Images

Teens these days are equally kinky

Turns out young people have finally realized that both males and females, desire, and care about sex.

Even though teenage boys consume more pornography and think about it more often, a new study that interviewed 800 Swedish 16-year-olds discovered that teen boys and girls fantasize about the same things. Not only that, but teenage girls are more interested in pornography than conventional thinking leads us to believe.

Based on the findings, there are no differences between the number of teen males and females who say their sexual behavior is influenced by pornography in a big way (which, might not be a good thing). Unsurprisingly the teens that do watch pornography have more favorable attitudes towards it in general.

But get this: more than every 10th female who reported watching porn said they watch it less than they’d like. And, the females in the study were more experienced than the boys in oral, anal, and vaginal sex. However, the genders were equally likely to partake in one-night-stands, group sex and buddy-sex. Unfortunately, traditional stereotypes still existed, and teens were more likely to agree to that it’s alright for guys to have more sexual partners than the other way around.

But despite that, the teens in the study who were sexually active did hold the perception that males and females are equally interested in sex. And that’s a pretty non-traditional view, and as the researchers conclude, a positive attitude for gender equality.

The study is published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics.

TIME celebrity

Paul Rudd Ran Around New York City Asking If People Would Sleep With Him For a Dollar

Most people said yes, obviously

In a new episode of his comedy game show Billy on the Street, Billy Eichner dragged Paul Rudd through Manhattan asking pedestrians if, for one dollar, they’d sleep with the handsome, notoriously ageless actor.

Most people say yes, because obviously. Some people say no, but they’re probably lying. Others get really excited and think that they’re actually going to get to sleep with Paul Rudd. Watch this emotional roller coaster ride above.

TIME celebrities

Watch a Young Jon Hamm Get Brutally Rejected on ’90s Dating Show

Even though he promised her an "evening of total fabulosity."

Once upon a time, 25-year-old Jon Hamm got brutally rejected by some fool named Mary Carter on a cheesy 1996 dating show.

The doe-eyed future Mad Men star got his heart broken on The Big Date, hosted by a guy named Mark Walberg (no relation) who says he was “born to be a matchmaker.”

The lovely damsel Mary Carter said she needs a “sexy hot man” who “knows how to give a good foot massage” because she “has a foot fetish.”

The first guy was too creepy. He told Mary he was a stunt man, “so I have to take her home later and show her my flexibility. “

The second guy was too touchy-feely. He had frosted tips, and told Mary he wanted to “squeeze her like a little teddy bear.”

Jon Hamm was just right. He said he would take her on a date that would “start off with some fabulous food, add a little fabulous conversation, and end it with a fabulous foot massage for an evening of total fabulosity.”

But Mary Carter chose the stunt man guy, because he shook her hand when he met her. Choosing a handshake over a fabulous foot massage from Jon Hamm is a real rookie mistake.

Mary Carter, wherever you are, I hope you and your feet are happy with your choices.

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