TIME relationships

To Sleep or to Sleep With? Study Shows Night-Owl Women Have More Sex, Fewer Relationships

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Woman asleep in bed Cultura RM/Greta Engel—Getty Images/Collection Mix: Subjects RM

Women who stay up late are more likely to get laid, but less likely to get married than women who get up early to do a sun salutation or whatever

You know what Ben Franklin said: Early to bed, early to rise makes a woman rested, safe, and married.

A new study from the University of Chicago shows that women who stay up late tend to have similar risk-taking tendencies as men, and that night-owls of both genders were less likely to be in long-term relationships.

Researchers found that men generally have higher levels of cortisol and testosterone than women, but that night-owl women have just as much cortisol as men. High levels of cortisol are usually associated with high energy, arousability, stress and even cognitive function, and some research has shown that successful people usually have higher cortisol levels. The researchers found that high cortisol levels may explain why night-owls take more risks.

In other words, women who stay up late tend to get laid more often, but women who go to bed early and get up early might be more likely to be in stable relationships.

Apparently the tendency to stay up late may have been an evolutionary trait that enabled our caveman ancestors to get frisky after the kids went to bed. “From an evolutionary perspective, it has been suggested that the night-owl trait may have evolved to facilitate short-term mating, that is, sexual interactions that occur outside of committed, monogamous relationships,” lead researcher Dario Maestripieri told UChicago News. “Being active in the evening hours increased the opportunities to engage in social and mating activities, when adults were less burdened by work or child-rearing.”

By the way, men who are night-owls have twice as much sex as men who are early birds. But since sleep loss might cause brain damage, you might have to choose between sex partners and brain cells.

[Journal of Evolutionary Psychology]

TIME Sex

#AfterSex: The Instagram Selfie Trend We Don’t Need

Woman using a smartphone
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Just put the phone down

The Internet’s latest infatuation is the #AfterSex selfie, which is exactly what it sounds like. In fact, taking a selfie after you’ve had sex might just be the new post-coital cigarette. (Unless, of course, it’s scrolling through your phone to see what you missed while otherwise occupied.)

Browse through the feed on Instagram (NSFW), and you’ll see people using the hashtag on a variety of photos: raunchy cartoons, eyeroll-worthy memes, a very relaxed looking open hand (get it?) and a surprising number of photos of actor Dave Franco (why it’s not James, the weirder brother, is anyone’s guess). But once you wade through the joke images, you get to the good stuff.

Look for the carefully filtered photos of attractive couples with bedroom eyes and tousled hair, smily coyly amid twisted bedclothes, or on sofas, or elsewhere. There’s also a number of singular selfies of one person staring moodily into the camera, often with a strategic amount of skin bared for the camera. These images have an identifiable post-coital aesthetic, a messy hint of real life that differs from the very posed, strained “sexy” selfies that populate the web. These people look… relaxed.

A similar hashtag #AfterSexHair shows a series of people showing off with beachy waves meant to emulate the carefree, look someone might have after a roll in the hay.

Of course it’s not like there’s anything new about showing off your relationship bliss. After all, couples around the world have been posting cutsey photos and status updates referencing “the boy” and “the gf” for years. But in the era of the groupie (and the belfie and the lelfie and who even knows what else), the #AfterSex selfie is a way of pushing digital boundaries (and boasting) to a new level. Anyone who sees one of the better versions of these photos will realize how amazing you are, how fulfilled you are in life and love, and damn if you don’t look good in the process.

These may seem like the ultimate overshare of life’s most intimate and private moments, but it’s an extension of a culture that places a premium on constantly sharing details about your good fortune, even though it’s actually making us miserable. CNET even posits that this could be part of a confessional trend started by apps like Secret and Whisper, both of which encourage users to share their true thoughts — often about sex, love and bodily functions — anonymously.

There’s no doubt many of the #aftersex photos are fake — because let’s be real, it takes a sincere lack of awareness to post a picture of yourself in any state of undress to the Internet at this point — but that doesn’t even matter. By declaring it a trend, it will become one. And certainly, articles like this might inspire more people to share pictures of themselves in posed, heavy-lidded bliss. The Internet knows that we can’t stop scrolling through our social networks, which is why we end up looking at a friend’s vacation photos on Facebook even though we know that it’ll only make us feel bad about ourselves. Creating and posting an evocative image is a guaranteed way to get more likes, more comments, more compliments. And any attention that accompanies an extra interesting or sexy shot will no doubt validate our sex lives or coupledom.

In an era where we decide on an outfit in a store because we’ve already snapped the perfect Instagram photo of ourselves wearing it in our mind, it’s scary to think about whether we’ll start consciously staging our most uninhibited moments. And soon, instead of thinking about what’s just happened with another human being, we’ll be arranging our every move the way we arrange our food on plates so that everything looks right before you decide on an image filter.

There are social scientists who think that posting selfies can be a healthy exercise for young people who are struggling to express themselves. But #aftersex might be the definition of taking it slightly too far.

[h/t to Nerve for spotting the trend]

TIME Internet

There’s Now A Website That Will Write Personalized Craigslist ‘Casual Encounter’ Ads For You

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Because writing "wanna do it?" takes too much effort

For the casual “Casual Encounter” Craigslister who doesn’t have the time to write out irresistible prose like “Wanna bang?”, there’s now a website that will actually generate a personalized personal ad for you.

Collective Love only needs your location and inclination (man/woman seeking man/woman?) to customize an ad that would be appealing to the people perusing your local section. “It parses the content of these listings and applies a markov chain algorithm to generate text using the ideas and feelings expressed by the ad posters,” the website explains.

Length ranges from 20 to 100 (!) sentences. (Again, “Wanna bang?” would probably suffice, but whatever.)

So what kind of sonnet can you expect from the randomized generator? My 20 sentence, m4w, NYC ad began:

Hold me u looking for pic Free stress today, for freaky something warm feel you won’t Answer, don’t Text Only a great mind right now! I promise you breathless.

I expect a full inbox by noon.

(h/t: Daily Dot)

TIME Sex

Women May Fake Orgasms to Have an Actual Orgasm, Study Says

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BDLM—Getty Images/Cultura RF

Yes, women fake it to boost their partner's ego, out of insecurity and to just get the darn experience over with. But a new study suggests women also fake it 'til they make it.

The mystery of the faked orgasm is no trivial issue: research suggests that up to 80 percent of women faking the big O. And everyone seems to have an opinion about why a woman would fake an orgasm.

On Masters of Sex, the fictional version of sex researcher Virginia Johnson informed William Masters that a women fake orgasms so they can back to other more important things. Sally explained to Harry that women were just faking orgasms to boost his ego—and demonstrated how easily women can do that—in When Harry Met Sally. Cosmo has given us a wide range of explanations, including insecurities about asking their partner for the things they really want.

Finally science has weighed in and it turns out that Virginia, Sally and Cosmo were all correct, according to a new study published in the Journal of Sexual Archives.

But that’s not the exciting part.

The recently released research revealed a novel and surprising reason for feigned ecstasy: some women may be faking orgasms in an effort to, well, orgasm. Researchers at Temple University and Kenyon College surveyed 481 sexually active heterosexual females who were not in serious relationships. You, know, members of the sort-of fake, overhyped college hookup culture.

According to the study, there were four main factors that influenced women to fake orgasms. Here they are ranked in order of prevalence:

1. Altruistic deceit — faking orgasm out of concern for a partner’s feelings

2. Fear and Insecurity — faking orgasm to avoid negative emotions associated with the sexual experience

3. Elevated Arousal — a woman’s attempt to increase her own arousal through faking orgasm

4. Sexual Adjournment — faking orgasm to end sex

Yes, it’s true. Women fake it for selfish reasons too. Those who participated in the study were more likely to pretend to have an orgasm in order to work themselves up to an actual orgasm than to stop sex altogether. If you believe in the power of positive thinking, the theory makes sense. If you envision yourself achieving a goal, you will achieve it. Plus, if faking an orgasm gets your partner more excited, seeing him excited may excite you.

One caveat: Earlier research indicates that women having casual sex, like the women in this new study are less likely to orgasm that those in serious relationships. Again, that makes sense, the more comfortable you are with a partner, the easier it is to communicate with them what turns you on and the easier it is to be selfish. It’s not surprise that women are reaching into their sexual toolbox to find more ways to arouse themselves.

TIME beauty

When Enforcing School Dress Codes Turns Into Slut Shaming

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Middle school girls in Illinois are protesting for their right to wear leggings after being told by teachers that their clothes are 'too distracting' to their male peers

Correction appended, March 27

In my junior year of high school I wore leggings to my AP Latin class. Leggings were against dress code at my school, as were sweatpants and skirts that were shorter than the ends of your fingertips. I had my leggings on under a dress, which admittedly probably didn’t pass the fingertip rule. My female teacher admonished me in front of the class before sending me home to change. She said something about how I wasn’t respecting myself. I ran home crying and changed into jeans. When I returned, one of the older boys in my class made a rude comment as I sunk into my seat.

I broke school rules—as just about every other teenage girl in high school did when they got dressed in the morning—and probably deserved to be punished. But this time, my teacher, tired of reprimanding girls for dress code violations every day, had decided to make an example of me in front of the class. The result? I missed important test prep for my upcoming AP exam, and she gave some immature boys an excuse to make sexual remarks in a classroom setting. They weren’t punished. That teacher was walking the fine line between enforcing a dress code and slut shaming.

This week, a group of middle-school girls in Evanston, Illinois picketed their school for the right to wear leggings. The girls at Haven Middle School had been told, like I had, that leggings were “too distracting to boys” to wear to school, according to 13-year-old Sophie Hasty who was quoted in the Evanston Review. Hasty makes the sophisticated argument that “not being able to wear leggings because it’s ‘too distracting for boys’ is giving us the impression we should be guilty for what guys do.” Five hundred students signed their petition, and a group of girls wearing leggings and yoga pants (also banned) protested outside the school last week with signs saying, “Are my pants lowering your test scores?”

The argument being made by school administrators is not that distant from the arguments made by those who accuse rape victims of asking to be assaulted by dressing a certain way. We tell women to cover themselves from the male gaze, but we neglect to tell the boys to look at something else. That this has a sexist undertone is demonstrated by the fact that the girls who had more curves to show off were the ones more often disciplined. “Students who were getting ‘dress-coded,’ or disciplined for their attire, tended to be girls who were more developed,” Juliet Bond, a parent of a student at Haven, told the Evanston Review.

Lucy Shapiro, a 12-year-old at Haven, added that when both she and a friend wore the same type of athletic shorts, a teacher disciplined her but not her friend because, she was told, “I had a different body type than my friend…With all the social expectations of being a girl, it’s already hard enough to pick an outfit without adding in the dress code factor.”

“For me, it’s about shaming girls about their bodies,” Bond said. “It’s this message across genders that girls have to cover up, and teachers saying to girls, the reason for this rule is so that boys aren’t distracted.”

The dress code in a middle school in Evanston is far from an isolated incident. In April of 2013, a New Jersey middle school banned girls from wearing strapless dresses to prom because they were “distracting,” but later compromised and allowed one strap dresses after parents protested. A high school principal in Minnesota emailed parents asking them to forbid their children from wearing leggings to school because their “backsides” were “too closely defined” and therefore “highly distracting.” A kindergartner in Georgia was asked to change her short skirt because it was a “distraction to the other students,” which begs the question, were kindergarten boys lusting after their peer during coloring time?

Are uniforms the answer? Many teens (including myself when I was in high school) would argue that a uniform would prevent them from expressing their identity through their clothing when forging their individuality in middle school and high school is hard enough. And sometimes schools can take uniformity too far, as with the girl in Colorado who was banned from classes this week after shaving her head to support a friend going through chemotherapy: she was told she violated dress code. Could the answer be single-sex schools? Distractions from the other sex are a key reason many parents opt into same-sex education for their developing teens. But other parents value a co-educational experience and some even argue it’s essential in teaching girls how to lean in early and be competitive with their male peers in class.

In the end, what’s disruptive in the classrooms is not the clothing that girls are wearing but their bodies themselves. I’m sure teachers mean well by encouraging girls not to think that they need to wear tight clothes in order to get attention from boys or emulate their favorite TV show characters. But by implying that boys simply can’t control themselves around girls’ bodies, administrators are pandering to a culture that too often transfers blame from men to their female victims. They risk encouraging young, impressionable minds—both male and female—to think that women are in some way responsible because of their “suggestive” clothing and their behavior for sexual crimes and transgressions, rather than making clear that each individual is responsible for his or her own actions.

Some clothes are appropriate for school and some are not. But we ought to make that distinction without implying that a girl must be accountable for the sexual attention she gets. Take sex out of the equation. Don’t use the word “distracting” when explaining the rules to girls. Enforce the code equally between the genders. Tell students that the dress code is meant to show respect to learning and school; conforming to the rules is not a measure of how much a student respects herself. And use encouraging language because no teacher should tell a kid how to respect his or her own body.

Correction: The original version of this story, using information from the Evanston Review, misstated Juliet Bond’s first name.

TIME relationships

5 Percent Of People Have Checked Facebook During Sex, Says Survey

Couple in bed with smartphone
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Is this what Zuckerberg had in mind when he created the dubious "Poke" feature?

In today’s modern, fast-paced, hyper-connected society, multitasking is simply a necessary part of life. Stealthily checking your texts during a meeting? Fine. Checking your bank account balance while waiting in line at the grocery store? Sure! Checking Facebook during sex — wait, what?

Yes, apparently people do that. According to a survey conducted for condom maker Durex, around 5 percent of people have checked their Facebook during coitus. Oh, 12 percent of respondents had answered a phone call during sex, and 10 percent had read a text. Technically, calls and texts could be relaying urgent, life-altering information, so we guess that’s a little more acceptable. But Facebook? Can’t you just wait till after you’re done to find out what your co-worker’s kid ate for breakfast?

Seriously, guys. We need to draw the line somewhere.

(h/t CNET)

 

TIME Crimea

Ukrainian Women Have Started a Hilarious Campaign to Deny Sex to Russian Men

The shirts read "Don't give it to a Russian," and proceeds from their sale will go to the Ukrainian army

Well, sanctions and diplomacy have failed — why not give this a try?

Neither Western sanctions nor Ukrainian protests have stopped Russia from annexing Crimea, so now a group of women in Ukraine are trying a different approach.

They have launched a campaign to deny Russian men sex, Foreign Policy Magazine reports, and sport t-shirts with a suggestively clasped pair of hands and the slogan: “Don’t give it to a Russian.”

The t-shirts are being sold on the group’s Facebook page (which is only in Ukrainian), and the revenue will go to the Ukrainian army.

The tactic of withholding sex goes as far back as Ancient Greece, where women banded together in chastity until men stopped fighting and started negotiating (with varying degrees of success). In modern times, there have been similar campaigns in Kenya and Liberia.

The Ukrainian campaign has gone viral on the Russian Internet, where predictably users are trolling and mocking the group.

[Foreign Policy Magazine]

 

 

TIME Pop Culture

The Porn Studies Journal Is a Real Thing — And I Read It

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Phil Ashley / Getty Images

With article titles like 'Why Internet Porn Matters,' you can't go wrong

Want your academic journal to get some attention? Just make it free and about porn to bring in the ever-desirable “free porn” readership. Case in point: Porn Studies, the academic quarterly that published its inaugural issue today.

I read through the issue and, for better or for worse, anyone looking for titillation is likely to be disappointed. (Unless what turns you on is sociological analysis, in which case — it’s your lucky day.) Despite the tantalizing nature of its title, it’s dense albeit fascinating academic content, with articles like “People’s pornography: sex and surveillance on the Chinese internet” and “Finding gender through porn performance.”

But the sophistication of the analysis doesn’t mean there’s nothing relevant to the average reader in the journal: porn, it turns out, is at a turning point — at least academically. In the introduction to the journal, Feona Attwood and Clarissa Smith (of Middlesex University, appropriately, and University of Sunderland, both in the UK) explain why they think Porn Studies is needed: it’s gotten a lot easier to study the topic, as pornography has grown more accessible and the media has developed an interest in covering it, but the field is still young. While academics from many fields, from cultural studies to psychology, talk about porn, they sometimes talk around each other. Porn Studies aims, among other goals, to be the place where they figure out how to talk about it and research it.

Porn is becoming an important part of increasing numbers of people’s lives, although what that means to them is something we still know very little about. The ways that porn is produced and distributed have undergone rapid, radical and incremental change, but much of the popular discussion about those changes is still based on guesswork… Academic work has begun to chart these developments and the field has taken on a new urgency and significance given the continued position of pornography at the centre of controversies around media, gender, sexuality and technology. Pornographies, their spread, their imageries, their imaginaries and their consumption always have a high profile, but in the past decade or so interest in pornography has grown exponentially – with a concomitant increase in claims about porn’s effects, both positive and negative.

If Porn Studies succeeds in that goal, research about porn won’t be twisted into click-baiting reports on how porn is destructive — unless the research actually shows that it is.

But that time isn’t here yet. So if what you’re looking for are weird sex facts, here’s one standout: An analysis of the tags used to search for porn online showed there’s something extra-appealing about Danes. Though the researchers found that search terms usually follow predictable clusters in the “porn semantic network” (“spanking” and “latex” go together, as do “upskirts” and “voyeur” — makes sense), some terms work as bridges between interest clusters. One of those terms is “Danish.” The researchers don’t go into why, and we don’t have any guesses either.

Also, there is such a thing as “fair-trade porn” and it’s not a joke; it describes content made with feminist ethics in mind. Also, there are ten distinct ways that consumers use pornography. Who knew?

One paper found, somewhat depressingly, that one of the major reasons users look at porn is because they have nothing better to do. Now, though, that reason is obsolete — anyone can just go read Porn Studies instead.

TIME

Watch A Really Awkward First Date Unfold in Real Time

Can't. Look. Away.

Get ready to watch the most awkward thing you’ve seen in your life. Vice is ensuring your Friday will be totally unproductive by livestreaming the first date between two strangers. The couple is currently having a drink at The Old Blue Last, a bar in London. It’s basically like if someone took that first kiss video that went viral last week but made it in color and swapped out the beautiful models for a dude wearing a Family Guy t-shirt and a beanie emblazoned with the word “dope” and a girl who seems kind of cool and stylish.

In fact, Vice did a remake of that kissing video with real strangers and the guy participating in this date is one of them. Guess Vice is a matchmaking service for Family Guy fans now.

You’d assume that these two love birds would be on their best behavior — a first date is basically a job interview for love, right? — but this winsome twosome can’t seem to make eye contact for more than 10 seconds at a time or talk about anything that isn’t a giant cliche. Topics so far include cheesy pick-up lines, the intersection of love and beauty and so much more. If this couple doesn’t make it, there’s no hope for the rest of us.

TIME

Low Libido? 11 Drugs That Affect Your Sex Drive

Check your medicine cabinet, then talk to your doctor

Everyone’s heard of medication that can improve your sex life (hello, Viagra!), but some drugs can actually quash it. If you’re feeling less than interested in having sex, the culprit might be in your medicine cabinet. 

If you suspect your low libido might be related to your medication, talk to your doctor. (Don’t just stop taking a potential lifesaver.) He or she will probably be able to suggest an alternative. “Communication is key,” says Raymond Hobbs, MD, a senior staff physician in the department of internal medicine at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit.

Health.com: 15 Everyday Habits to Boost Your Libido

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors

Depression is a well known libido killer, but so are some antidepressants. Prozac, Zoloft, and other selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) improve mood by raising serotonin. Unfortunately, that can also lower libido, says Irwin Goldstein, MD, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego. 

You have options. Wellbutrin and Viibryd are two SSRIs that don’t have this side effect. Or try exercise. A recent study suggests that women taking antidepressants who do cardio and strength training before sex may see improvements in the bedroom.

Tricyclic antidepressants

Since the SSRIs came out in the 1990s, tricyclic antidepressants such as Elavil aren’t used as often. But some doctors do still prescribe them to treat not only depression, but also nerve pain such as that associated with shingles. But these, too, can decrease libido. 

If you have a problem, try switching drugs or playing with the dose (after talking to your doctor, of course). “A lot of times you just want to use the lowest dose that accomplishes what you want,” says Dr. Hobbs. “Start low and go slow.”

Health.com: 7 Foods for Better Sex

Birth control pills

Oral contraceptives can lower levels of sex hormones, including testosterone, and therefore may also affect libido.

Non-hormonal contraceptives, such as an IUD, are good alternatives, says Dr. Goldstein. Less popular are condoms and diaphragms. Or you can try one of the many other birth control pills available.

Bear in mind that the pill can also increase your sex drive. “I’ve seen it go both ways,” says Dr. Hobbs. “Taking the pill is very effective and [women who are] more confident in their birth control device… find that their sexuality improves.”

Proscar

Proscar is used to treat benign prostatic hyperplasia or BPH, better known as an enlarged prostate. It’s a problem most men will encounter as they age. The active ingredient in the drug is finasteride, which prevents testosterone from converting into its active form. Lower testosterone can mean a lower libido. 

An alternative treatment for BPH is a procedure known as a transurethral resection of the prostate. This widely performed one-hour operation involves slipping a tube up the urethra and removing a portion of the prostate. That could take care of the prostate problems and the need for medication.

Health.com: 10 Reasons You’re Not Having Sex

Propecia

This drug is basically the same as Proscar, but it’s used at lower doses to prevent hair loss in men. “It’s the same chemical [finasteride] designed with a new dosing regimen,” says Dr. Goldstein. This means that younger men without prostate problems may also see decreased libido (about 2% of men reported sexual side effects in clinical trials). And there have been reports that the effects can last even after discontinuing the drug, says Dr. Goldstein. 

There are alternative hair-loss treatments, such as Rogaine, that don’t have sexual side effects.

Antihistamines

Over-the-counter antihistamines, especially diphendyramine (Benadryl) and chlorpheniramine (Chlor-Trimeton), may alleviate your allergies, but temporarily affect your love life. The solution here could be as simple as carefully timing when you take the drug. “Many of these drugs do not last 24 hours and certainly their side effects don’t,” says Allison Dering-Anderson, Pharm.D., a clinical assistant professor of pharmacy practice at the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha. “Antihistamines should be cleared in eight hours in younger and healthier patients.” 

Keep in mind that antihistamines are also found in many combination cough-and-cold medicines so read the label. You may be taking antihistamines and lowering your libido without knowing it.

Medical marijuana

Marijuana is only approved for medical purposes in 20 states, but regardless of where or why it’s used, pot can have “a significant negative impact both on libido and on ability to perform,” says Dering-Anderson.

If you’re in a place that hasn’t legalized marijuana, obviously you shouldn’t be using it. If you are using marijuana legally and having sex drive problems, talk with a healthcare provider about alternatives for pain and nausea, two common reasons people use marijuana-the-drug.

Health.com: The Secret to Hotter Sex

Anti-seizure drugs

Tegretol can be a game changer for people who have seizures and even for some with bipolar disorder. But the price can be reduced sexual desire. Tegretol and other drugs like it work by preventing impulses from traveling along the nerve cells, but therein lies the problem. An orgasm is similar to a seizure—in both, sensory input triggers a body response—says Dr. Goldstein, so medications that dampen nerve impulses can also reduce pleasurable sensations. In short, the things that used to stimulate you just may not do it for you any more.

If an anti-seizure drug is affecting your libido, ask your doctor about an alternative medication. “That’s not the only drug out there,” says Dr. Hobbs.

Opioids

Opioid medications can be a blessing in terms of pain relief, but a curse in terms of addiction and sex drive. Studies have shown that opioids such as Vicodin, OxyContin, and Percocet, can lower testosterone, which can affect your libido.

Testosterone therapy—perhaps in the form of a gel—may help men taking opioids for pain who have libido problems, one study found.

Beta blockers

Tens of millions of Americans use beta blockers such as propranolol and metoprolol with great benefit to their hearts, but not necessarily their sex lives. In rare cases, even eye drops containing the beta blocker Timolol (used to treat glaucoma) can decrease libido, says Dering-Anderson.

But there are many beta blockers on the market. They all lower blood pressure, but in different ways. Talk to your doctor to find one that works for all of you.

Benzodiazepines

There have been some reports that anti-anxiety drugs like Xanax can lower your sex drive.

But the underlying anxiety could be the real problem. “Benzodiazepines are used for severe anxiety and many times [people with severe anxiety] aren’t so interested in having sex,” says Dr. Hobbs.

In that case, the medication might calm your anxiety enough to actually enjoy sex, says Dering-Anderson.

This article originally appeared on Health.com.

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