TIME Advertising

Surprise! The New Axe Body Spray Ad is Super Romantic

Does Nicholas Sparks write Axe ads now?

Axe is leaning away from their men-surrounded-by-ladies thing and getting a little sentimental in their new ad. Because sex sells, but love sells more. Even to guys.

Somehow they’ve gone from hundreds of women clawing at a single Axe-spraying bro to a hunky time-traveler chasing his true love through history. It’s sure to catch the attention of that 13-year-old who loves sword fighting and is just about ready to start wearing deodorant. Watch it here:

 

The company definitely recycled the costumes from Game of Thrones for that first part with the cavemen, but it’s still cute. And we’re pretty sure Jack Dawson from Titanic probably would have worn Axe.

TIME Culture

The Game of Thrones Sex Scene Can’t Be Both Rape and Not Rape

Jaime, played by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, and Cersei, played by Lena Headey, in Game of Thrones HBO

The director suggests that nonconsensual sex can become consensual. Why that's not right

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

Sunday night on Game of Thrones, Jaime forced himself on Cersei. This was problematic for a number of reasons: they’re siblings; they were having sex next to their son’s dead body; and said dead son was the product of their incest. But the biggest problem with that scene was that Jaime raped Cersei … and some of the people on the Game of Thrones cast and crew who have been interviewed about the episode don’t seem to acknowledge it as such.

Margaret Lyons over at Vulture has already done a great job of explaining why, exactly, that scene was rape. (Cersei says “No” repeatedly, to which Jaime replies, “I don’t care.”) In the piece, Lyons quotes two of the Game of Thrones folks hedging against actually calling the assault rape.

Director Alex Graves told Alan Sepinwall at HitFix: “It becomes consensual by the end.”

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, the actor who plays Jaime, told the Daily Beast: “There are moments where [Cersei] gives in, and moments where she pushes him away. But it’s not pretty.” When asked if Cersei was raped, he answered, “Yes and no.”

The scene was enough to make everyone squirm, and it raises questions like, why did the script writers decide to diverge from the book (in which the sex was consensual — but still creepy for all the reasons listed above)? And will they handle the Cersei’s reaction to the incident with nuance and sensitivity? We might even ask why we keep seeing so much rape on TV. (I have my own theories.)

But first, we ought to take a moment to recognize that this incident isn’t a “gray area.” If a woman or man does not consent to a sexual act, and the other person forces him or her to continue, it’s rape. An incident cannot be both rape and “not rape.” There is no “yes and no” about it. A rape cannot “become consensual at the end.” You do not convince someone over the course of the act that they actually consented.

A lot of people — especially a lot of young people — watch Game of Thrones, and I imagine many of them read interviews with people like Graves and Coster-Waldau after the show. So it’s important that public figures like these should be conscious about how they respond to and describe these issues. How will victims of sexual assault be affected when a director and an actor in one of television’s most popular shows question whether no really means no?

I imagine that Graves and Coster-Waldau’s interpretations of the scene are linked to the common misconception that a person cannot be raped by his or her significant other. Jaime and Cersei are (however twisted it might be) a couple, and therefore some might falsely assume that all their sex must be consensual. But it’s not. That was rape. And I believe it’s important to acknowledge that, otherwise we risk delegitimizing assault.

To his credit, George R.R. Martin — who wrote the Song of Ice and Fire books upon which the Game of Thrones TV series is based — responded to fans’ concerns on Monday in the comments section of his own blog (Martin was not involved in writing the script for this episode):

In the novels, Jaime is not present at Joffrey’s death, and indeed, Cersei has been fearful that he is dead himself, that she has lost both the son and the father/ lover/ brother. And then suddenly Jaime is there before her. Maimed and changed, but Jaime nonetheless. Though the time and place is wildly inappropriate and Cersei is fearful of discovery, she is as hungry for him as he is for her.

The whole dynamic is different in the show, where Jaime has been back for weeks at the least, maybe longer, and he and Cersei have been in each other’s company on numerous occasions, often quarreling. The setting is the same, but neither character is in the same place as in the books, which may be why Dan & David played the sept out differently. But that’s just my surmise; we never discussed this scene, to the best of my recollection.

Also, I was writing the scene from Jaime’s POV, so the reader is inside his head, hearing his thoughts. On the TV show, the camera is necessarily external. You don’t know what anyone is thinking or feeling, just what they are saying and doing.

If the show had retained some of Cersei’s dialogue from the books, it might have left a somewhat different impression — but that dialogue was very much shaped by the circumstances of the books, delivered by a woman who is seeing her lover again for the first time after a long while apart during which she feared he was dead. I am not sure it would have worked with the new timeline.

That’s really all I can say on this issue. The scene was always intended to be disturbing… but I do regret if it has disturbed people for the wrong reasons.

Though Martin never explicitly calls the scene rape, he does express regret that the way it was presented on screen has upset people, which is a step in the right direction.

TIME Science

Science Confirms It: Springtime Is Sexy Time

Spring.
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A scientific study said that human fertility rates are actually impacted by changes in the seasons and weather

Spring is a time of renewal for the Earth—temperatures rising, plants springing forth, the summer ahead. But science says it should also mean a renewal of your sex life.

It’s not just the abundance of all that exposed skin outside; human fertility rates are actually impacted by changes in the seasons and weather, according to scientific study. As Jared Keller writes in Pacific Standard, “the perfect time of year to conceive… is when the sun shines for about 12 hours and the temperature hovers between 50 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit.” In other words, right now.

A 2002 study found that there are two seasonal peaks in adolescent sexual activity: the early summertime months and the winter holidays. What’s more, summertime sexy time was more likely to occur between partners who weren’t previously romantically involved.

Slate discovered that those in hotter areas like Miami tend to have more sex than their cold-weather counterparts, though they explain that any pheromones getting released might be denatured by the heat.

We better hurry up and get busy, before it just gets too hot to stay in the same bed as another sweaty human.

TIME Dating

Washer Seeks Dryer: ‘Laundry Bistros’ Are the New Dating Frontier

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At least you'll have clean underwear in this new wrinkle on the dating scene.

Correction appended, April 15

The new place for over scheduled New Yorkers to land a date could be a…laundromat.

The Wash House, a small “laundry bistro” with three washers and three dryers that opened March 6 in the East Village (think “La Vie Boheme” from Rent), offers drop off service in a casual, coffee house setting, and hopes to cater to young workaholics who may be trying to turn the tide on their neglected social lives, so to speak.

“We want to cater to up-and-coming young professionals who are working so hard trying to build whatever business they’re building that they don’t have time to go meet people,” says Veronica Kerzner, one of the owners.

With the café handling the wash and fold in the back, customers are freed up to mingle in the front. There’s a “Laundry Today or Naked Tomorrow” sign right by the bar where customers can order a beer, coffee, or an artisanal Challah bread sandwich with Nutella, mascarpone, strawberry, and honey. Then they can hunker down on one of the stools under the giant roman numerals clock that says “Drop Your Pants Here” across the face and strike up conversation with someone. That way, it looks like “you’re not there to pick up girls, you’re there to do your laundry,” says Christopher Conlon, another owner of the Wash House.

“I have thought about doing a speed-dating thing here just because doing laundry is so intimate,” he says. “You’re bringing in your undergarments, you’re cleaning, you’re cleansing, but maybe you’re trying to find someone too, so you kind of take away that thin veil that everyone has on.”

“It’s like the new way to pick up people — at the laundromat!” Kerzner chimes in, citing the music video for “Every Heartbeat”, in which Grammy-winning singer Amy Grant (known for “Baby, Baby”) meets the glance of a hot guy, and the two toss aside the book they are reading called “Shyness” and start unbuttoning their clothes.

The Wash House is just the latest in the cycle of laundromat cafés. They popped up around the country from the mid-1980s through the early 2000s. In the late 80s, singles would go to Oasis Laundry in San Jose, Calif., on Friday nights and watch movies. A Des Moines, Iowa-based chain Duds ‘N Suds boasted “good clean fun” like pool tables and warm pretzels with cheese sauce. Saga Launder Bar & Cafe in Chicago, a combination laundromat and sports bar, promoted “Buds and suds”, while partygoers danced the night away to DJ mixes at The Laundry Bar in Miami Beach, Florida.

While most laundromat cafés have washed up, the one that is still as hot as ever is BrainWash in San Francisco’s SOMA (South of Market) neighborhood, where, since 1989, residents have done their own laundry in a café and live music setting — an atmosphere that not only fostered a sense of community in the area, but also brought people together in a romantic sense.

“You’re sitting at the same folding table, that’s a natural place for conversation,” says Susan Schindler, founder of BrainWash, who ran it between 1989 and 1997. “I used to always joke it was great because a guy could look and see exactly what kind of underwear a girl is wearing as she’s folding. So of course there were very romantic hookups.” During her tenure, a couple that met there got married there. “I think [the bride] walked down the aisle between the washers.”

Washing and folding clothes with someone you don’t know is a fast way to get to know someone–you’re seeing their delicates after all. But there are pitfalls. After observing a public laundromat, sociologist Regina Kenen found people engaged in “impression management”, concealing “padded bras, torn underwear, stained garments, or even designer bedsheets” to avoid revealing too much personal information.

So will the Wash House catch on in a world of hyper-efficient Tinder-style apps that connect people virtually? There is some indication that combining a chore and dating is appealing to millennials. According to data provided to TIME by HowAboutWe Dating, a dating website in which individuals nationwide and in more than 30 countries connect by posting and responding to unusual date ideas, nearly 1 in 10 U.S. users like to multitask their first dates with errands. New Yorkers are the most likely to suggest errand dates compared to singles living in other U.S. cities, and errand dates make up 7% of dates suggested in New York over the past six months. In fact, shopping — at supermarkets, flea markets, antique shops, or the Apple Store — is the most popular errand date idea, with “dog walking / going to the dog park” coming in second, apartment hunting at third, the gym at fourth, and laundry at fifth.

At the very least it’s a refreshing change from the standard drink and dinner date suggestion. “Doing something that’s like, ‘Let’s have champagne in a laundromat,’ definitely catches your eye,” says Jessica Tom, HowAboutWe’s Community Director. “Sure you’re getting something done, but you’re also getting noticed for being a little offbeat.”

In fact, supermarkets are gearing up to be the next unlikely date site nationwide. Throughout the Midwest, Hy-Vee supermarkets are adding restaurants with bars that start serving alcohol at 11 a.m. Bar Lamar at Whole Foods in Austin offers wine on tap until 10 p.m., while a 99-cent “walk-around beer” could give customers the kind of liquid courage they need to approach someone they find attractive in the store.

“The more multitasking that exists in a space, the more likely people will talk to each other,” says BrainWash’s Susan Schindler. Put another way, to use a laundry metaphor, balance your load, balance your life.

Correction: The original post misstated the worldwide presence of the HowAboutWe Dating site. It reaches more than 30 countries.

TIME Dating

Dating Narcissism: Why We Look for Ourselves in a Partner

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Marga Buschbell Steeger—Getty Images

When it comes to dating, maybe you're the yin to your own yang

When How I Met Your Mother wrapped up last week, fans were delighted to find out that the mother of Ted’s children was his soul mate. Why? Because she was just like Ted: they shared the same dorky interests, a similar sense of humor and a taste in yellow umbrellas. They even shared the same initials! And many complained when (spoiler alert) in the final minutes of the episode, Ted decides to court Robin, a character who in many ways is Ted’s opposite.

In the search for a partner, we struggle to determine who’s our best match. Is it someone who complements us?—the guy who’s calm when you’re emotional; the girl who’s organized when you’re messy? Or is it someone who looks, thinks and acts like us? Do opposites attract or do they “attract and then attack” as eHarmony advertises?

The attributes of the person who “completes” us has befuddled singles for centuries: In Plato’s Symposium, a philosopher asserts that humans began as androgynous creatures with both male and female parts. The gods split each creature in half, separating one being into man and woman. The result? We now spend our lives looking for our soulmate, the one who makes us whole—though it’s unclear whether that other half is just like us or the yin to our yang.

But Plato didn’t have the luxury of examining data from dating sites. An analysis of eHarmony users by FiveThirtyEight.com this week found that while 86 percent of people say they want someone who “complements” them (as opposed to someone who “resembles them”), women and men are much more likely to message those who are similar to them not only in terms of age, attractiveness, education, race and income, but also in terms of less obvious traits like intelligence, creativity and humor. And then there’s the Boyfriend Twin Tumblr that recently surfaced, featuring gay couples that look almost identical running under the headline, “What’s sexier than dating yourself?” A similar Siblings Or Dating? website features straight, gay and lesbian couples who look like they could be related.

Both of these blogs tap that impulse to be with someone who echoes your own personality and looks. That urge is called homogamy, a marriage between two individuals who are extremely similar. For decades, we’ve been becoming more homogamous in terms of education, income, religion and even looks. A Slate article on the Boyfriend Twin Tumblr cites a study that shows people are attracted to versions of themselves: researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign altered their subjects’ faces into those of strangers and asked them to evaluate the strangers’ attractiveness. Subjects favored faces that looked like their own. Another study found that people are even more attracted to those who share superficial traits like letters in their names and birthdays with them.

Social scientists are already anxious about the amount of time we spend thinking about and looking at ourselves, what with the hours we spend advertising our thoughts and activities on social networks and the rise of the selfie. Now it looks like we’re dating ourselves too. It smacks of narcissism — and remember what happened to Narcissus, who was so entranced with his own reflection in a pool of water that he couldn’t move and eventually was transformed into a flower.

But there may be hope for us narcissists yet. Biologically speaking, we’re built to be attracted to people who are dissimilar to us. A famous 1995 study that asked women to smell the sweaty t-shirts of men found that women preferred the smells of those who were genetically dissimilar to them. (Though notably this wasn’t true for women on the pill.) Scientifically speaking, opposites really do attract. Experts have a clear explanation for our tendency towards genetic diversity: our bodies are trying to prevent us from inbreeding. Plus, parents with more diverse MHC genes birth offspring with better immune system.

This genetic diversity impulse cannot apply to gay couples where reproduction is taken out of the equation. And yet data suggests that gay and lesbian couples, too, prefer diversity in their partners. Though Boyfriend Twin may be a fun Tumblr, research shows that gay couples are actually a lot less likely to be homogamous than straight couples.

So in the end which dating impulse wins out? Our narcissistic tendencies, or the quest to diversify our gene pool?

It turns out there may be no universal truth. An October study from Rutgers University found that a specific balance of chemicals affects what type of person each individual is attracted to. People with active dopamine levels (impulsive, curious types) or high serotonin levels (social, conscientious types) tended to like people similar to themselves. But men with high testosterone tended to be drawn to women with high estrogen and oxytocin levels (and vice versa). So who you fall for all boils down to how the chemicals are distributed in your brain.

TIME Sex

Equality At Last: Teen Boys and Girls Have Similar Views on Sex and Porn

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David Ryle—Getty Images

Teens these days are equally kinky

Turns out young people have finally realized that both males and females, desire, and care about sex.

Even though teenage boys consume more pornography and think about it more often, a new study that interviewed 800 Swedish 16-year-olds discovered that teen boys and girls fantasize about the same things. Not only that, but teenage girls are more interested in pornography than conventional thinking leads us to believe.

Based on the findings, there are no differences between the number of teen males and females who say their sexual behavior is influenced by pornography in a big way (which, might not be a good thing). Unsurprisingly the teens that do watch pornography have more favorable attitudes towards it in general.

But get this: more than every 10th female who reported watching porn said they watch it less than they’d like. And, the females in the study were more experienced than the boys in oral, anal, and vaginal sex. However, the genders were equally likely to partake in one-night-stands, group sex and buddy-sex. Unfortunately, traditional stereotypes still existed, and teens were more likely to agree to that it’s alright for guys to have more sexual partners than the other way around.

But despite that, the teens in the study who were sexually active did hold the perception that males and females are equally interested in sex. And that’s a pretty non-traditional view, and as the researchers conclude, a positive attitude for gender equality.

The study is published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics.

TIME celebrity

Paul Rudd Ran Around New York City Asking If People Would Sleep With Him For a Dollar

Most people said yes, obviously

+ READ ARTICLE

In a new episode of his comedy game show Billy on the Street, Billy Eichner dragged Paul Rudd through Manhattan asking pedestrians if, for one dollar, they’d sleep with the handsome, notoriously ageless actor.

Most people say yes, because obviously. Some people say no, but they’re probably lying. Others get really excited and think that they’re actually going to get to sleep with Paul Rudd. Watch this emotional roller coaster ride above.

TIME celebrities

Watch a Young Jon Hamm Get Brutally Rejected on ’90s Dating Show

Even though he promised her an "evening of total fabulosity."

Once upon a time, 25-year-old Jon Hamm got brutally rejected by some fool named Mary Carter on a cheesy 1996 dating show.

The doe-eyed future Mad Men star got his heart broken on The Big Date, hosted by a guy named Mark Walberg (no relation) who says he was “born to be a matchmaker.”

The lovely damsel Mary Carter said she needs a “sexy hot man” who “knows how to give a good foot massage” because she “has a foot fetish.”

The first guy was too creepy. He told Mary he was a stunt man, “so I have to take her home later and show her my flexibility. “

The second guy was too touchy-feely. He had frosted tips, and told Mary he wanted to “squeeze her like a little teddy bear.”

Jon Hamm was just right. He said he would take her on a date that would “start off with some fabulous food, add a little fabulous conversation, and end it with a fabulous foot massage for an evening of total fabulosity.”

But Mary Carter chose the stunt man guy, because he shook her hand when he met her. Choosing a handshake over a fabulous foot massage from Jon Hamm is a real rookie mistake.

Mary Carter, wherever you are, I hope you and your feet are happy with your choices.

TIME Media

James Franco: Horndog or Marketing Genius?

The actor said he "used bad judgement" in messaging a 17-year old Scottish girl on Instagram, but some think the awkward flap may be a bizarre publicity stunt for Franco’s upcoming movie about a soccer coach who has an affair with a teenage player

James Franco was mighty quick to admit that the sketchy Instagram messages he sent to an teenage girl were actually real during his Friday appearance on Live with Kelly and Michael.

“I used bad judgement and I learned my lesson,” said the This is The End star. “But unfortunately in my position, I mean I have a very good life, but not only do I have to go through the embarassing rituals of meeting someone, sometimes if I do that then it gets published for the world, so it’s like doubly embarrassing.”

That was easy.

The awkward flap with a 17-year old Scottish schoolgirl broke just as the first trailer was released for Franco’s movie Palo Alto, in which the actor plays an adult soccer coach who has an affair with one of his teenage players… sound familiar? The movie is also based on a book of short stories Franco wrote.

So is James Franco sketchy for hitting on a teenage girl through Instagram? Or is he sketchy for pretending to hit on a teenage girl in order to promote his new movie in which he plays a guy who hits on a teenage girl?

Either way, it’s icky.

 

TIME

Left-Handed People Have Better Sex, Study Finds

Couple feet
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We foresee a line of "Lefties do it better" t-shirts debuting soon

Life can be pretty tough for left-handed people. For example, they can’t use those those university classroom desks and they struggle with everyday devices like can openers.

Apparently, though, left-handed people ultimately prevail over their right-handed counterparts because they have better sex. According to a recent survey, lefties are 71% more satisfied in the sack than righties.

Of the 10,000 people surveyed, 86% of left-handed people reported being “Extremely Satisfied” with their sex lives, compared to just 15% of righties. Just 15%! Too bad, so sad.

It’s hard to say exactly why lefties are more fulfilled, but we assume it’s because while righties are off doing things that are engineered for righties — like using desks or playing video games or opening cans — lefties are off perfecting other skills.

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