MONEY Shopping

School’s (Almost) Out! Just In Time for Back-to-School Sales

BSIP SA / Alamy—Alamy

If you thought now was the time to relax and celebrate the end of the school year, J.C. Penney, Walmart, and Lands' End have a back-to-school sale for you.

Last summer, retailers raised eyebrows by rolling out back-to-school sales in early July, within a week or two of when kids escaped the clutches of teachers, principals, and algebra homework. “In seven and a half years, I’ve never once seen so much emphasis put on back-to-school before July 4,” National Retail Federation spokeswoman Kathy Grannis told AdAge at the time.

Fast-forward to June 2014, and retailers are at it again, pushing back-to-school sales earlier than ever. Consumers are getting the message that the time to purchase gear for the upcoming school year is before the current school year has ended. Like, now.

J.C. Penney began promoting back-to-school sales last weekend, according to Consumerist. Walmart already has a back-to-school web page for student fashions, backpacks, and other school gear, as well as another page devoted to back-to-college apparel and tech. Target just introduced a college registry program, so that students can try to get other people to buy them stuff. Apple’s back-to-school promotional deals are expected to be announced any day now. And Lands’ End? It started zapping customers with e-mails a couple of weeks ago, pushing the idea that early June is a fine time to buy school uniforms that kids won’t wear until around Labor Day.

It’s totally understandable why retailers try to move back-to-school shopping earlier and earlier each year. Families generally have finite resources they can allocate to back-to-school fashion and paraphernalia, and once the pencils, protractors, glue sticks, notebooks, and a few new outfits are purchased, their back-to-school expenditures are done (in theory). Retailers want to beat the competition to the punch, before the family’s back-to-school budget is depleted.

“Retailers are going to do what they can to try to get consumers into the stores to shop, but the fact of the matter is they might not have much luck,” Britt Beemer, chairman of America’s Research Group, explained to CNBC. “There aren’t any parents that I can find who have even thought of back-to-school shopping, because for most kids, they haven’t even gotten out of school yet.”

Still, even if shoppers don’t actually buy back-to-school stuff in June, the enticements may get them thinking about their needs for the upcoming school year. Panic sets in for a lot of overwhelmed parents, and they’re more apt to want to cross all of their children’s back-to-school items off their list as soon as possible. How can you relax on a summer vacation when you know there will be dorm rooms to decorate and Number 2 pencils that need to be purchased?

What’s more, early-season promotional efforts are limited mostly to the digital world. It’s much cheaper and easier for a retailer to send out an e-mail blast or put up a back-to-school web page than it is to rearrange shelves and create promotional sections inside thousands of stores. That’ll happen soon enough, of course, during the especially puzzling period when you’re likely to encounter Fourth of July, back to school, Christmas in July, and plain old summer sales in your local megamart, perhaps mixed in with the odd early Halloween aisle.

Of course, retailers risk some customer backlash by taking the expansion of shopping seasons too far. So-called “Christmas creep,” the phenomenon in which the Christmas shopping season kicks off in September and Christmas ads air within a few days of Labor Day weekend, has caused many an observer to groan in exasperation.

When the calendar says one thing and retailers are telling consumers something very different via sales and promotions, the result can be jarring, even off-putting. Yet retailers assume shoppers have short memories, and they hope that whatever bad feelings a too-early sale produces are outweighed by deals that are just too good to pass up.

MONEY

Fore! No, Make That Five! 5 Reasons Golf Is in a Hole

digging golf ball out of bunker
Thomas Northcut—Getty Images

Golf's U.S. Open and Father's Day both take place this weekend. Chances are, dad isn't celebrating by playing golf.

Golfer numbers are down. Golf equipment sales have been tanking. The number of golf courses closing annually is supposed to dwarf the number of new courses opening for years to come. “We really don’t know what the bottom is in golf,” Dick’s Sporting Goods CEO Edward Stack said in a recent conference call, attempting to explain why golf gear sales have fallen off a cliff. “We anticipated softness, but instead we saw significant decline. We underestimated how significant a decline this would be.”

Insult to injury: Tiger Woods isn’t playing in the U.S. Open this weekend, and that’s sure to hurt TV ratings big time. The overarching question, though, is why the golf business has entered such a rough patch—and why it looks to remain in a sand trap, so to speak, for quite some time. Here are a handful of reasons, including the curious case of Woods himself.

People are too damn busy. When someone asks how you’re doing, the response among working professionals and working parents especially is probably a kneejerk “crazy busy.” Studies show that leisure time has shrunk for both sexes, and that dads are doing more work around the house, though moms still devote more time to chores and childcare than their spouses. A so-called “leisure gap” still exists between mothers and fathers, and while dads tend to enjoy an extra hour per day of free time on weekends, they’re more likely to be watching TV than hitting the links. Fathers spend an average of 2.6 hours per week participating in sports (compared to 1.4 hours for mothers), which isn’t nearly enough time to play 18 holes.

As new dad Jason Gay of the Wall Street Journal put it recently, speaking for dads—all parents, really—everywhere, “It is more likely I will become the next prime minister of Belgium than it is that I will find 4½ hours on a weekend to go play golf.”

A year ago, golf groups launched a “Time for Nine” campaign, pushing the idea that, because so many people can’t find the time for 18 holes, it’s acceptable to play a mere nine holes. The problem is that it looks like people don’t have time for nine holes either, lately.

It’s elitist and too expensive. There are plenty of ways to save money on golf, including booking discounted, off-peak tee times and finding deals on equipment. So golf can be affordable.

It’s just that, by and large, the sport has a well-deserved reputation for being pricey—think $400 drivers, $250,000 club “initiation” fees, and too many gadgets to mention. The snooty factor goes hand in hand with the astronomical prices and atmosphere on the typical course. As USA Today columnist Christine Brennan cautioned recently, unless the sport figures out a way to change course, “Golf is destined to continue to hemorrhage participants and further ensure its place as a mostly-white, suburban, rich men’s niche sport with plenty of TV sponsors who make cars, write insurance and invest money.”

It’s just not cool. In 2009, Jack Nicklaus lamented, “Kids just don’t play golf any more in the United States and it is sad.”

American kids today seem to be nearly as overscheduled as their parents. And like their parents, tweens and teens probably don’t have the time to regularly play 18 holes, what with soccer practice, saxophone lessons, and coding classes to attend to. Even if kids had more time, would they want to spend it playing an “old man sport”? When iPhones and tablets and Xboxes and Instagram are drawing their attention?

Among the suggestions offered by Golf Digest to increase participation in the sport, columnist Ron Sirak recommended that the USGA should fund caddie programs, and that private clubs should give four-year “scholarships” to junior players, with free lessons and playing privileges.

It’s too difficult. Pretty much every other sport on the planet is more immediately rewarding than golf. Take a snowboard lesson in the morning, and by afternoon, you can make a few turns down the bunny trail without falling (much). Golf is renowned not only for being frustratingly difficult for beginners, but even longtime players “enjoy” it as a frustratingly difficult hobby.

“The deep appeal of golf, once you get hooked, is that it’s difficult,” John Paul Newport, golf columnist for the Wall Street Journal, told NPR last month. “Normally when you play a round of golf, you step onto the green and that’s when all the intense stress starts. You know, this tiny little hole, you have to look at putts from many ways, you hit it a few feet past and you add up strokes quickly around the green.”

Newport was discussing a new golfing option involving 15-inch cups, a system created to make the game much easier and approachable, particularly for beginners. But don’t expect to see it anytime soon. In the description to Golf Is Dying. Does Anybody Care? author Pat Gallagher points to golf’s “resistance to productive change” as a big reason why participation has slumped dramatically. “While other sports have embraced new technology and innovation with open arms, traditionalists strive to protect the game of golf and keep it exactly as they love it—even in the face of suffering courses and shrinking audiences.”

Tiger Woods. Skeptics insist that golf isn’t dying. Not by a long shot. The sport’s popularity, they say, is merely taking a natural dip after soaring to unjustified heights during the “golf bubble” brought on by the worldwide phenomenon that was Tiger Woods. After the infidelity scandals and, more recently, poor play and loads of injuries from Woods, fewer people are watching golf on TV, buying golf gear in stores, and, you know, actually going out and playing golf.

So perhaps it’s not so much that golf is losing favor with the masses today as it is that golf’s widespread popularity a decade or so ago was something of a fluke. The decline in golf, then, would basically be the return of golf’s status as a niche game. “Golf courses were overbuilt, saturating major cities and secondary markets with ridiculous golf hole per capita ratios,” golf blogger David Hill wrote in a manifesto on why the sport, in fact, isn’t dying. “Tiger’s decline from Teflon coated Superhero to mere great golfer precipitated the bursting of the golf bubble. It’s as simple as that.”

MONEY Kids and Money

Why Daughters Are Better Than Sons — At Least Financially

140612_FF_InvestinDaughters_1
Both cute, but the one on the right may cost you less later. Tripod—Getty Images

If you're raising a girl, congrats. A new survey finds that in adulthood, daughters are less likely to bleed parents dry—and more likely to provide free care.

Ever wonder when your kid will move out of the house for good and stop treating you like an ATM?

If that kid is a boy, you may have longer to wait than if you’d had a girl. After age 18, daughters are less likely than sons to move back home or need a financial hand from mom and dad, according to a new survey conducted by Harris Poll for Yodlee Interactive, a digital financial services technology company. And not only are those grown-up daughters more financially independent, they are also more likely to provide care for their aging parents down the road.

In the survey, 41% of adult men with living parents report getting funds from mom and dad to cover expenses. Only 31% of adult women with living parents say the same. Unsurprisingly, aid is more common among young adults: Of those 18 to 34, three-quarters of men and 59% of women say they receive financial aid from their parents.

But that help lingers for many. Of 34- to 45-year-old men, 35% still get parental help, while only 18% of their female peers do.

Perhaps women have been conditioned to getting less financial support. A study from the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research found that boys are 15% more likely to get paid for doing chores, and a new survey from Junior Achievement USA and the Allstate Foundation found that 70% of boys get an allowance, compared to only 60% of girls.

When do I get my guest room?

Parental help doesn’t end with handouts. Men are more likely to room with mom and dad, too: 32% of adult men do, vs. 25% of women, and that can be costly. A report in the Wall Street Journal found that hosting a child over 18 can run $8,000 to $18,000 a year.

A Pew Research analysis of 2012 U.S. Census Bureau data found that millennial males were more likely than their female counterparts to live with their parents. A full 40% of men ages 18 to 31 did, vs. 32% of women that age.

The Yodlee survey found that this trend extends to other generations. Among 35- to 44-year-olds, 32% of men are still spending nights in their childhood bedrooms, while only 9% of women are. Of those living at home, the most common reason cited by sons was un- or underemployment, while daughters listed taking care of their parents.

A sliver of good news for parents of sons: By age 45, these stark differences in financial independence fade, with males lagging only a few percentage points behind females in these two areas.

Traditional roles persist

Still, the advantage of having daughters persists in other ways: Daughters easily out-perform sons when it comes to supporting aging parents. Sons are almost twice as likely as daughters to say that they will not back up their parents emotionally by doing things like calling or visiting. Close to 60% of daughters provide that support, while just under half of sons do.

Sons’ redeeming quality? They are slightly more likely to help subsidize their parents’ living costs than daughters are, even as women are more likely to be the caregivers. This role is long-established. A study published in the Journal of Applied Gerontology last year found that women were more likely to care for parents, assist with their personal needs, and help with chores, errands, and transportation.

Finally, if you have a son, don’t expect your daughter-in-law to fill the gap. Yodlee’s survey found that you’re out of luck on all facets of support from in-laws, male or female.

Yodlee_Interactive_Fathers_Day_Infographic

 

TIME Military

Where Bowe Bergdahl Goes From Here

Afghanistan Bergdahl
In this image taken from video obtained from Voice Of Jihad Website, which has been authenticated based on its contents and other AP reporting, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl sits in a vehicle guarded by the Taliban in eastern Afghanistan. Uncredited—AP

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl is just days into what could be months or years of recovery

U.S. Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl arrived at a German hospital three days ago, which means he’s just finished the minimum 72-hour decompression period of his “Phase III Reintegration.”

What does this mean? It’s part of a three-step process to Bergdahl’s reintegration into American society. For someone who’s been gone for five years—one of the longest-held POWs ever treated by the U.S. Southern Command—that process is bound to be a long one.

Phase I, initial recovery, occurs “at the forward operating location within hours of recovery.” In Bergdahl’s case this was likely on a military base in Afghanistan. It involves “medical triage, psychological support and tactical debriefing for time sensitive information,” according to a fact sheet given to TIME by the U.S. Southern Command.

Phase II is called “decompression” and it happens in a regional hospital — Landstuhl Medical Center, in this case. It lasts a minimum of 72 hours, but it can last longer depending on the medical and psychological needs of the POW. There is no indication of how long Bergdahl will stay in Germany. When he’s ready, he’ll move on to Phase III, which will happen at Brooks Army Medical Center at Ft. Sam Houston in Texas.

Bergdahl’s parents had yet to even speak to him by phone as of Tuesday evening, according to Idaho National Guard Spokesman Timothy Marsano, who has acted as the family’s spokesman for years. After appearing alongside President Barack Obama in the Rose Garden Saturday, Bergdahl’s parents have returned home to Hailey, Idaho. When their son is ready, they will meet him in Texas, where they will spend months helping with his recovery as he enters Phase III.

Phase III is the longest part of reintegration. It involves “establish a perception of control of their life,” having “their emotions normalized” and reengaging “in a healthy life style with family, socially and with work.” It also involves gathering “time sensitive” and “strategic intelligence” and “evidence” to “prosecute criminals.”

Southern Command, which deals with all reintegration cases, developed this protocol after the Vietnam War to help with the flood of hundreds of returned POWs. Since 2007, they’ve treated an Army contractor held hostage in Ethiopia for three months, three Pentagon contractors held in Colombia for more than 5 years, an Army civilian held in Iraq for two months and a U.S. service member held in Colombia for over four months.

“So, yes, obviously this will be one of our longer cases,” says Col. Hans Bush, director of public affairs for U.S. Army South.

Bergdahl’s road home is complicated by an Army investigation into whether he defected or should be held on charges of going AWOL (Absent Without Leave) the June, 2009 night he walked away from his unit in Afghanistan. Normally, POWs who successfully finish Phase 3 return to service. Given the circumstances, though, Bergdahl could be returning to a court martial and potential jail time.

All of which is to say, Bergdahl almost surely won’t make it home for the June 28 “Bowe Is Home” celebration being planned in Haley to mark his release. The celebration was originally planned as a “Bring Bowe Back” event. So, while many questions remain, his family and friends can celebrate that he is, at least partway, back.

MONEY Small Business

Forget the Corner Office. Most Millennials Want to Own the Corner Store.

According to a new study, the majority of 20-somethings assume they'll be self employed at some point in their careers.

Faced with a lagging labor market and mounting student loan debt, millennials seem either to have found reason to be optimistic about the new economy—or to have lost faith in it completely. According to a new survey from Buzz Marketing Group and the Young Entrepreneur Council, 81% think that they’ll either own a business or be self-employed at some point in their careers.

During tough times in particular, millennials say, they would rather work for themselves. Thirty-seven percent of those surveyed said if they became unemployed, they would likely start a business or become freelancers versus 23% who said they would continue looking for a job working for someone else.

Gen Y may be already laying the groundwork for future entrepreneurship: 46% of all respondents say they’ve done freelance work in their fields.

YEC founder Scott Gerber says the results show that millennials want a different kind of career than the ones their parents had. “You’re talking about a generation that has seen what happened with their parents and Enron, and what happened in 2009 and 2010—the traditional workforce eroding before our eyes,” Gerber said. “Millennials have new ways of thinking about the future of work.”

The catch in Gen Y’s plan? Mom and dad. A majority of respondents said their parents would rather see them find “real jobs.” Gerber urges those parents to let their children try, fail, and learn from their mistakes. “Understand the reality of today versus the nostalgia of yesteryear,” Gerber said. “Instability is here to stay.”

TIME Internet

Find Out What Song Was (Probably) Playing When You Were Conceived

ab05291.jpg
Getty Images

An answer to a question you never thought you'd ask

Look, we get it: you probably don’t want to know what song was playing when you were conceived. But wouldn’t it be kind of cool and to know? Like, a tiny bit? Maybe?

Well, one ambitious Redditor has created a website called porktrack.com (yup) to help you determine what was likely playing on the radio when your parents, you know, made you. It uses a simple algorithm that takes your birthdate, subtracts 40 weeks, and then spits out whichever song was atop the Billboard Hot 100 list that particular week. (Don’t worry — it will adjust the timeframe if you indicate that you had an early or late birth.)

The site’s creator — who goes by the handle literallyelvis on Reddit and Twitter — admits that this isn’t the most accurate calculation. “I really wanted to learn how to make a website,” he writes on the site’s FAQ section. “Also it amuses me greatly to see how people react to their porktracks.”

So, what does your porktrack ultimately say about you? Let’s take a look at some famous people’s porktracks for reference:

  • Jay Z: “Everyday People” by Sly & the Family Stone
  • Blue Ivy Carter: “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga
  • Paul Ryan: “Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures)” by The 5th Dimension
  • Chelsea Clinton: “Reunited” by Peaches & Herb
  • Barack Obama: “I Want to Be Wanted” by Brenda Lee
  • Sheryl Sandberg: “Hey Jude” by The Beatles
  • Miley Cyrus: “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred

Sadly, the site cannot determine your porktrack if you were born before 1960, so you’ll just have to take your best guess.

TIME Parenting

How Children Have Become Their Parents’ Bullies

It used to be that kids were scared of their parents. Now parents seem scared of their kids.

At a toy store, I witnessed a common but ludicrous dynamic; a 4-year-old child was emotionally bullying his mother. The helpless mom repeatedly explained to her son that he was not getting a present because it was not his birthday – they were there to buy his friend a present. It was exhausting watching her quickly lose ground. The more the mother talked and explained, the more her little boy screamed, reaching a crescendo with a full-blown kicking and earsplitting tantrum on the floor. The scene upstaged the shoppers, and I was struck by how powerless the mother looked as she was taken down by her 4 year old.

It used to be that kids were scared of their parents and now parents seem scared of their kids. The pendulum has swung from children being seen and not heard to being heard and perpetually indulged. Parents seem so uncomfortable with setting limits and taking their rightful position as captain of the family ship. Their hearts are in the right place; they want to be more attentive to their kids’ needs than their parents had been to theirs. But we have over corrected, turning into a generation of “parent pleasers,” rarely saying no for fear of hurting our children’s feelings. And as a result, putting a child to bed or leaving a toy store becomes an ordeal.

It is unsafe for a child to have that much power; kids today are more demanding and more anxious. When parents are skittish about asserting their parental authority, too often kids learn that “no” means “maybe.” That gives kids wiggle room to keep negotiating, throwing fits and emotionally bullying their parents. This reinforces the bad behavior and fuels the notion that the louder they whine, the more they get. Push fast forward on a child who consistently throws tantrums and gets his way. What teacher would want to teach him, what employer would hire him, and who would want to date him?

We have to be able to tolerate our children’s stormy emotions without rushing in to fix them or we are unintentionally crippling our kids. We are trying to grow resilient kids, not fragile, entitled ones. Buying another child a present teaches your child about doing for others, and that the world does not revolve around him. What great life lessons!

Let’s remind ourselves that discipline actually means to teach, not to punish or shame, and that setting loving limits will help raise a thriving child. We can acknowledge and empathize with our children’s feelings but still hold the line: “I know you want a new toy, but we are not buying you one today.” Period. And if the child continues to have a tantrum, you have to leave the store. You need to do what is right for your children, even if it means tolerating a brief drop in your popularity polls. You are the one with experience and perspective – a perspective that children just don’t have. Your job is not to please your child; your job is to parent your child. We have to be able to hold a loving space for our child’s anger or hurt feelings while staying the course.

So how did the toy store debacle end? The mom, drained and exhausted by her child’s tantrum was at the register, purchasing two toys – not realizing that the real gift would have been saying no!

Robin Berman, MD, is a mother, psychiatrist, associate professor at UCLA and author of Permission to Parent: How to Raise Your Child with Love & Limits.

TIME Holidays

100-Year-Olds Moms Share Insights On What It Means to Be a Mother

In honor of the 100th anniversary of the first Mother's Day

This Mother’s Day, why not take some advice from three women who’ve been moms for a very, very long time?

In honor of the 100th anniversary of the holiday, Mashable sat down with three centenarians to discuss what motherhood means to them. The women reflect on the great parts of being a mom along with the hardest parts — like raising children during wartime.

“When you see your kid go away, and then you see the papers with the casualties,” Sadie Adler says. “It was shattering.”

Adler also offered the following advice to today’s parents: “Listen to your children and treat them as a grown-up.”

TIME vaccines

The Anti-Vaxxers Simply Won’t Quit

Safe baby: a child in Africa receives an oral vaccine
Safe baby: a child in Africa receives an oral vaccine ranplett; Getty Images/Vetta

Even as cases of whooping cough, polio, measles and mumps soar, vaccine deniers continue to leave children and babies unprotected. Stubbornness may be part of human nature—but the price is just too high

It’s never easy to say oops. You know it if you’ve ever said something nasty during an argument and found it hard to apologize later. You know it if you’ve ever caused a fender bender on the road and been unable to say “my bad.” And you know it if you’ve ever failed to inoculate your baby against a range of disabling and deadly diseases that can be easily and harmlessly prevented with vaccines, in effect failing to perform the most basic job of parenthood, which is to keep your children safe.

What’s that? You think that under those circumstances an oops wouldn’t be hard to get out? Not so, according to a disturbing study presented Monday at the annual meeting of the Pediatric Academic Societies in Vancouver. Researchers looked at vaccination rates both before and during an outbreak of whooping cough in Washington state in 2011 and 2012, and found that even as the disease was spreading and unvaccinated children were suffering, the percentage of parents who brought their 3- to 8-month olds in for their scheduled inoculations didn’t budge.

Nope, the parents effectively said, still not persuaded.

“We have always assumed that when the risk of catching a disease is high, people will accept a vaccine that is effective at preventing the disease,” said lead author Dr. Elizabeth Wolf of the University of Washington, in a statement that accompanied the release of the study. “Our results may challenge that assumption.”

That says something deeply troubling not just about the outlook for childrens’ health, but about human obtuseness, particularly as outbreaks of measles strike New York City, Orange County, Calif. and elsewhere, while mumps cases spread throughout Columbus, Ohio. Despite this real-time, real-world evidence of the damage caused by the anti-vaccine crazies—who have spent the better part of 16 years peddling the fable that vaccines are filled with never-fully-specified “toxins” that cause autism and an ever-changing pu pu platter of other imaginary ills—many parents and even some doctors continue to close their eyes.

That’s a problem not just for the unprotected kids, but for everyone. If we got smoking rates in the U.S. down to just 10% of the population, we’d celebrate that fact as a great public health victory. But as virologists and epidemiologists remind us again and again and again, when 10%—or even 5%—of parents opt out of vaccines for their kids or insist on making up their own vaccination schedule, they destroy the herd immunity effect that should protect the handful of people in any population who can’t get vaccinated for legitimate medical reasons. If a virus can’t find an entry point into a community, it can never make its way to the most vulnerable members. Every parent who opts out opens one more infectious avenue.

The U.S. is not alone in playing craps with vaccine-preventable diseases. The Vancouver report was issued on the same day that the World Health Organization (WHO) declared a public health emergency concerning the spread of polio from Pakistan, Syria and Cameroon, and the presence of the virus in Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel, Equatorial Guinea, Ethiopia, Somalia and Nigeria. The emergency did not arise because of some new, especially tenacious strain of polio. Indeed, the disease has been at the brink of eradication for a few years now, with only 160 endemic cases in three countries—Afghanistan, Pakistan and Nigeria—in 2013, and 257 cases in countries into which the virus was imported by carriers crossing the border. But attacks on medical field workers by militant groups in Pakistan have disrupted inoculation efforts there, and war or unrest in Syria and elsewhere have made the safe passage of vaccinators impossible.

Extremists in the Middle East and Africa are hardly motivated by the same ideas as rumor-mongers and frightened parents in the U.S. But both are committing the same moral crime, jeopardizing the health and welfare of blameless babies. It’s those babies who will pay the price—and the parents and extremists who must bear the blame.

TIME TIME 100 Gala

‘Frozen’ Songwriters Recommend Patience

Repeated singing of 'Let it Go' might be just the beginning

Robert and Kristin Anderson-Lopez, the perky creative duo behind this year’s most infectious ear worms — and two of 2014′s most influential people in the world — salute all those indulgent souls who “make the young artists and thinkers and leaders feel like they have influence as they figure out what they are going to say and how to say it.” Even if it hurts sometimes.

Your browser, Internet Explorer 8 or below, is out of date. It has known security flaws and may not display all features of this and other websites.

Learn how to update your browser