TIME Crime

This Guy Posed for His Mugshot Wearing a T-Shirt Featuring His Previous Mugshot

Mug Shot T-Shirt
This Aug. 8, 2014 booking photo released by the Somerset County Sheriff’s Department shows Robert Burt, of Pittsfield, Maine. Somerset County Sheriff’s Department—AP

Too meta, or just meta enough?

Back in June, 19-year-old Robert Burt was charged with driving under the influence. When the Pittsfield, Maine, resident showed up to begin his two-day jail sentence this month, he wore a shirt one of his co-workers had so generously made for him following the arrest. That shirt featured Burt’s original mugshot.

Upon arrival, Burt had to pose for a booking photo, resulting in one marvelously meta moment.

Sadly, the second mugshot does not show the entire shirt, which includes a second photo:

We thought Macaulay Culkin was the Meta T-Shirt King, but Mr. Burt here is really giving him a run for his money.

(h/t The Smoking Gun)

TIME Funny

2 Tiny Knights Have Their First Fight (And It’s Adorable)

This isn't Sparta

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Two knights-errant face off in the quickly fading sunlight; the crowd jeers, their bodies forming a makeshift arena. Who will live to see their next juicebox?

 

TIME movies

Watch a 72-Minute Teaser for a Month-Long Movie, If You Dare

Ambiancé
A scene from Ambiancé Anders Weberg

But the movie's it's promoting is WAY longer

An hour and change is on the short side for a feature-length movie — but it’s unheard of for a teaser.

Until now.

Swedish artist Anders Weberg has recently unleashed upon the world a 72-minute teaser for his not-quite-upcoming film Ambiancé. The clip, if you can call it that, will be live on Vimeo until July 20. (It went up last week — hat-tip to the Guardian for catching it today.) The teaser, which is pretty much abstract or mysterious images set to modern music, “has the intent to convey the mood and tempo from the full piece,” Weberg writes on his website, the aptly named thelongestfilm.com.

The teaser isn’t actually that long, proportionately: it’s less that 1% of the length expected for the finished project, a 30-day-long film that will be completed at the end of the year 2020. (A similarly paced teaser for a two-hour movie would be just 12 seconds long.) The concept for Ambiancé is nothing if not ambitious: Weberg plans to show it once and then destroy it, which will be the end of his “relation with the moving image as a means of creative expression.”

Another, longer trailer is due in 2016.

TIME Appreciation

Turtle vs. Dog Is the Best Soccer Match You’ll See During the World Cup

You’ll never guess who wins the closest thing the World Cup has to the Puppy Bowl

The World Cup this year has been even more packed than most with high-intensity, hair-raising games, but none of them holds a candle to this matchup for the ages: turtle v.s. dog.

Posted to Facebook under the title “Italian soccer :) ( a.k.a. also a turtle and a dog can manage …” by Valeria D’Innocenzo Carlantoni in Civitavechia, Italy, a small town near Rome, this 1:17-long clip features some surprisingly cheeky touches and fancy footwork. The aggressive tackle at the end is exceptional, though it’s a miracle no one got carded.

If you’ve been rooting for the U.S., soothe your broken heart (which should still be celebrating the OMG-mind-blowingly awesome performance of U.S. goalie Tim Howard) with this clip.

Try and watch this video without, at least in your head, narrating the action in a game announcer voice. This needs to be the World Cup’s version of the Puppy Bowl.

TIME celebrities

When a Very Pregnant Amy Poehler Met Rising Star Jon Hamm

15th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards With Presenting Sponsor Lacoste - Backstage & Audience
Actors Jon Hamm and Amy Poehler attend the 15th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on February 19, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California. Stefanie Keenan—CDG/Getty Images

The actors initially crossed paths during the Mad Men star's first stint hosting Saturday Night Live. Hilarity ensued

It’s safe to assume that your favorite actors are all friends with one another. (Or, in the case of Paul Rudd, best friends with everyone ever.) If you assumed that was the case for Jon Hamm and Amy Poehler, it turns out you’d be correct. When Hamm — riding high off the conclusion of Mad Men‘s second season — hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time, he left quite the impression on Poehler, who was very, very pregnant at the time. Here’s what Poehler had to say in her soon-t0-be-released memoir, Yes Please:

Jon Hamm was hosting Saturday Night Live, his first time, and I was just getting to know him, and we were doing a sketch, a Mad Men sketch, I was dressed in an old-timey way, in a big dress, and I was huge. And I had, my plan was that I was gonna do the Jon Hamm show and I was due the next day. And it was an example of the beginning of what children do to you, which is they fuck up all your plans. So I remember saying to my doctor, Dr. G, ‘I’m gonna do the show and I’ll come in Sunday, and maybe we’ll do it Sunday/Monday.’

I did the sketch, I was shooting with Hamm on Friday, and I called my doctor ’cause at the end there you kind of have to call in every day, and the receptionist was crying. I said, ‘What’s wrong?’ and she said, ‘Oh, he passed away last night.’

I was due the next day. So it’s my first kid, I’m in a Mad Men outfit, I turn to everybody and I hysterically start crying, and a really pregnant woman crying is terrifying. So, juicy tears just like squirting out of my eyes. And it was like the punch line to a joke, it’s like, my doctor just died and I’m due tomorrow. And Jon Hamm, who I am just getting to know, comes over and puts his hands on my shoulder and is like, ‘This is a really important show for me. I’m gonna need you to get your shit together.’ And I laughed so hard, I probably peed myself – I believe that going through crying to laughing adds like five years to your life.

To summarize: Amy Poehler and Jon Hamm are both the best, and even though you’ll probably never have friends this funny or cool, at least you’ll be able to enjoy stories like this. Yes Please is currently slated for an Oct. 28 release.

[Vulture]

TIME movies

Questions I Wish I Could Ask the Baby From Neighbors

Neighbors Poster
Universal

The true stars of Neighbors can't do an interview — but here's what we would have asked

In this poster for the new movie Neighbors, out May 9, the text makes it clear that Seth Rogen and Zac Efron are the stars. But as you may notice, that’s not a picture of either of them.

Instead, that’s a picture of Stella, the baby who makes Rogen’s character care that the frat-dudes next door won’t keep it down. She’s played by Elise and Zoey Vargas — as with most on-screen infants, two babies play the one role — and, despite the major comedy chops of her co-stars, she steals the show.

Though my colleague Richard Corliss was disappointed that she functions as a comedy prop rather than a character — and yes, she does go some kind of scary places where a non-prop baby ought not — she does have comedy bona fides when she’s allowed to shine. If she were old enough to talk, it could be a break-out performance — the kind an entertainment journalist would love to highlight. Unfortunately, however, the Mses. Vargas are not available for interviews. (I checked.) And, even if they were making a tour of the junket circuit, it’s tough to do a Q&A with an infant. (I assume.)

So, in lieu of such an Q&A, here are the Qs I would have asked them if they could talk:

What attracted you to this project?

What were your first impressions upon reading the script?

Who are your comedy influences?

Did you get any career advice from the veteran actors with whom you were working?

Did the director give you any room to improvise?

That scene where you roll over in the crib has some pretty impressive timing…

You’re welcome. Did you have to do a lot of takes on that one?

Stanislavski or Meisner?

Who has a smoother stroller-pushing technique, Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne or your real-life folks?

How do you feel about the number of funny, female roles available in mainstream Hollywood right now? Is it a tough environment for a comedienne starting out?

It seems like this must have been a pretty fun set. Who was the resident prankster?

Oh, really? Whoa.

The world may never know the answers to these questions, as it’s unlikely Elise and Zoey Vargas will remember them by the time they’re old enough to tell (fortunately for the reputation of any on-set pranksters). But there is one question we can answer on their behalf:

What’s next?

Catch Elise and Zoey Vargas as baby Trevor in the upcoming Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, in theaters this October.

TIME Internet

Watch Infomercial Actors Struggle to Do Basic Tasks

Washing your hands never looked so difficult.

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If we are to take infomercial scenarios at face value, then we are a highly under-evolved species who can’t handle even the most mundane task, like the mechanics of putting on a pair of shoes or reaching for a bar of soap.

In a compilation produced by the YouTube channel AmazingLife247, a narrator who’s partial to speaking in limericks says, “We’ve all done this” over footage of an infomercial actor dealing with a dilemma that no one seems to struggle with, such as: How is that laptop supposed to stay on your lap? How do towels work? HOW?

TIME

Q&A: Michelle Williams on Destiny’s Child, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Her Rumored Feud With Beyoncé

Pepsi Super Bowl XLVIII Halftime Show Press Conference
Michelle Williams attends the Pepsi Super Bowl XLVIII Halftime Show Press Conference at Rose Theater, Jazz at Lincoln Center on January 30, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Al Pereira/FilmMagic) Al Pereira—FilmMagic

"It seems to be a mystery, or a wonder, like, if we're still friends or something."

She may be best known as one-third of the R&B supergroup Destiny’s Child—during its early ’00s incarnation with Beyoncé and Kelly Rowland—but Michelle Williams is making plenty of moves on her own. In addition to serving as a spokeswoman for Playtex tampons, the 33-year-old singer is prepping for her new album—and her role as Mary Magdalene in a just-announced arena-tour production of Jesus Christ Superstar (opposite *NSYNC’s J.C. Chasez, among others). Here, she talks with Time.

Superstar has a pretty eclectic cast. Who are you most excited to work with?
I’m ready to learn from all of them. I mean, who would’ve thought I’d be paired with John Lydon of the Sex Pistols and Brandon Boyd from Incubus and J.C. Chasez from *NSYNC? When girl groups and boy bands collide! As of today, we’ve been working together for the past few days.

How’s it going?
I’ve already started causing trouble.

Oh yeah?
I’m the only female in the principal cast! So I gotta do stuff to make it fun and not too boy-y.

Are you pulling pranks?
I’m definitely gonna be pulling pranks. Today, John Lydon was, of course, being his obnoxious, amazing, funny self. So I’m gonna use all of that to my advantage.

Your new Playtex campaign is all about bouncing back from embarrassing moments. What has been yours?

With Destiny’s Child, we know the infamous fall.

This one?
Yes. That happened. And literally, I had no choice but to keep going. It’s live television. But I have fallen along with the best of ‘em—Madonna, Usher, Robbie Williams, my good sister Beyoncé. So I’m in the fall of fame.

Ha.
Y’all can pay me for that one later!

I’ll add a trademark when we publish.
[laughs]

So how’d you learn to laugh it off?
It took me like four years to actually watch the footage. It literally took me that long. But my revelation yesterday was, I’m still working, I’m still here, I’m alive, and hey, ok.

I’m sure it helps that embarrassing moment helped you land an endorsement deal.
I mean, hey. With Playtex. I’m a woman, you know what that means! It was also a good way to celebrate with the everyday woman—to let them know, like, ok you see me in pictures and photographs and stuff, but I’m human. Like, let’s get together. Share with me your most humiliating moments and how you got over them. Because honestly, these moments can be funny. But sharing them really can help somebody else.

Do you remember sharing any embarrassing moments with Kelly or Beyoncé? Did they ever, like, fall on stage in front of you?
Um, no. Every now and then, just period with artists, you might—you know, you can play things off. You never know, did she trip or—

Was that a new dance move she just invented?
Yeah.

So you just reunited with Beyoncé to record the song “Superpower”—
[sighs] Yes, to round it all out, we still support each other. We’re still amazing friends. Whether it’s to support each other musically, or just personally, when we happen to be in the same city, so—I’ll ask you a question. I just wanna know.

Sure.
It seems to be a mystery, or a wonder, like, if we’re still friends or something. And I always wonder, what is the fascination? This is a genuine question.

Well, generally speaking, fighting is more interesting than friendship.
Well, I’m so sorry to report—breaking news! We have very boring lives as far as that’s concerned. And once again, to even play off the Playtex campaign, to show togetherness and unity, you don’t have to be catty, you don’t have to be mean, you can support one another.

Of course.
I’m just curious, like, we [Destiny's Child] haven’t had an album out in 10 years. I’m just still wondering the fascination. And I’m not being mean or smart. That is a real question. Like, really?

In some ways, it’s a compliment that people still care so much—
No, I know that. But it’s like, [mimics voice of reporter] ‘Are y’all friends?’ Did y’all not just see us at dinner?!

I wasn’t gonna go there. I promise.
Cool beans. Let’s go.

So are you still friends with Beyoncé?
[laughs] Shush!

Tell me about your new album.
It’s titled Journey to Freedom, because it was my journey, and I had to learn that life—that’s what it is. It’s one day at a time. It’s not a sprint. It is a journey, and freedom from whatever keeps a person operating at their very best. I don’t care what it is—procrastination, depression, toxic relationships, fear. All of those things can keep you from moving forward.

Your faith has played a role in other albums you’ve done. Is that true here as well?
Absolutely. Because of all the genres of music I’ve done—I’ve done R&B/pop, I’ve done dance/EDM, so this album, if i was to say this is my last solo album I’m proud of because it’s like a musical gumbo of all the music that I’ve ever done.

Musical gumbo. I like it.
Yeah. It tastes good, don’t it?

You mentioned you had a couple collaborations. Any hints about what they are?
Not yet! It’s gonna be amazing. But my first single, If I Had Your Eyes, featured a remix with Fanatasia, so that’s out right now.

We’ll make sure to include a link.
Well, thank you. Coinage!

And lastly—I have to ask. Any chance of another Destiny’s Child reunion?
To be honest with you, that’s just something that we never talk about. That is the elephant that’s in the room at times.

TIME video

Watch L.A. News Anchors Freak Out When an Earthquake Strikes

Give that face an Emmy

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We all revel in Los Angeles-based reporters’ apocalyptic on-air reactions whenever it rains or the weather drops below 70 degrees, but that’s nothing when compared to what happened when actual natural disasters strike. KTLA reporter Chris Schauble had the absolute best facial reaction to a mild 4.4 earthquake that hit LA Monday morning.

In case you need to see it again:

los ángeles earthquake face

KTLA is already embracing the meme:

And Schauble, who has won Emmys for his reporting, already made it his Twitter profile picture:

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