TIME animals

This Video of a Dog in a Hot Tub Will Solve All Your Problems

This pooch knows how to relax!

After a long and tiring day of playing fetch, digging holes and keeping an eye out for pesky neighborhood cats, it seems there is nothing this dog loves more than wallowing in a nice relaxing hot tub.

And according to YouTube user Danny Sam, who posted the video in 2013, Cuzzie just can’t get enough of those jets against his back.

“He doesn’t mind the hot water and will press against it and croon his pleasure,” wrote Danny Sam.

Though the adorable video was posted two years ago, it was only just made one of JukinVideo’s clips of the week and rightly deserves the extra attention. If one thing is for sure, this hilarious pooch is doing life right.

MONEY

QUIZ: Options Trading Strategy or Cosmo Sex Position?

Test your financial and erotic expertise.

circus contortionist woman
Underwood & Underwood—Corbis

An option is a contract giving the purchaser the right, though not the obligation, to buy or sell a security at a specified price for a particular period of time. Options trading—conducted formally for stocks on U.S. exchanges since 1973—has given rise to a number of distinctively named investing strategies.

These strategies, confusingly enough, sound a lot like strategies used in a completely different context: The names of sex positions that the women’s magazine Cosmopolitan suggests for its readers, in forums such as its Cosmopolitan.com website and its how-to guide The Cosmo Kama Sutra: 99 Mind-Blowing Sex Positions.

So let’s conduct a test of your financial—and erotic—expertise. Which of these are options investing strategies? Which are Cosmo sex positions?

TIME animals

Watch This Dog Getting First Dibs on a Water Slide

The line for the water slide is a dog-eat-dog world

Ladies first. Respect your elders. Blah, blah, blah!

These societal courtesies are nice and all, but manners are moot when water slides are involved.

Even man’s best friend ditches his loyal nature when confronted with the inviting, wet plastic of an inflatable slide.

In this clip, a water-loving Labrador named Milo dives down the slide and then eagerly runs to the steps to take the trip again. Instead of waiting for his turn, Milo decides he is top dog and bowls through the line of patient children on the stairs.

The things you can get away with when you have an adorable fluffy face and a limited comprehension of time.

This article originally appeared on People.com

TIME viral

These Are the 5 Elements of a Viral Video

It's an art form

You see it on your newsfeed, your Twitter account, even sometimes through email from an older relative: a video that suddenly has millions of views. What is it about that video of a cat playing the piano or a man falling off a ladder that makes the Internet go crazy? Well, there are lots of reasons, but here are just 5 elements of a video gone viral.

TIME viral

Read a Sixth-Grader’s Handwritten Apology for Making a Prank 911 Call

apology
Savannah Chatham Police

He's still grounded, though

A remorseful young troublemaker wrote an apology note and read it aloud to emergency dispatchers after he mad a prank call to 911 on a dare from his friends.

“I am writing an apology letter for what I did last night,” the unnamed sixth-grader wrote. “Last night I called and said ‘dezz nuts.'”

The kid wrote “dezz nuts,” but may have actually said “deez nuts” in the prank call.

“I know there will be consequences, and I will not complain about them,” he wrote. “I am sorry for what I did and I hope you can forgive me.” He wrote that he made the call because his friends dared him to do it.

His parents made him write the note and read it aloud to the on-duty emergency communications staff at Savannah-Chatham 911 center. Emergency dispatchers were so impressed that they accepted his apology and then gave him and his family a tour of their office.

He’s still grounded, though.

 

TIME Funny

Watch Shaq Take an Epic Tumble on the TNT Set

"You set me up, Ernie!"

Tripping and falling is much funnier when the person doing it is over seven-feet tall. And named Shaquille O’Neal. And on television.

Shaq took a tumble on the TNT set during halftime of the Rockets vs. Clippers game Wednesday. The fall was so epic that Shaq both lost a shoe in the process and broke part of the set.

The former basketball star had a good sense of humor about the misstep, tweeting out his favorite memes of the spill:

TIME Holidays

How One of History’s Best April Fools’ Day Pranks Was Debunked

April 23, 1934
TIME From TIME's April 23, 1934, debunking of the lung-powered flight hoax

Don't believe everything you read

Although the exact origin of April Fools’ Day is uncertain, playing springtime pranks is a nearly universal custom, adopted around the globe and throughout history — perhaps, some have suggested, beginning with the Roman festival of Hilaria, which was celebrated by dressing up in disguise. Over the past century, April 1 hijinks have become a mainstay of Western culture.

One of the more legendary jokes came in 1934, when a German news magazine published a photo of a man on skis, propelling himself into the air by blowing into a straw to turn a pair of rotors. Many American newspapers were taken in by the hoax, including the New York Times, which ran the photo with the caption, “Man flies on his own power for the first time in history.”

TIME, however, was not fooled, as an article from later that month made clear:

Surely Pilot Kocher‘s exploit was major news, yet not one word of it had appeared in print in the U. S. until the pictures arrived. There was good reason why. Pilot Kocher had flown only in the fertile imaginations of the editors of Berliner Illustrirte Zeitung, who had cooked up the pictures for their magazine’s famed annual April Fool edition. Hearst’s International News had been gloriously hoaxed, and the U. S. Press with it. But in borrowing the Illustrirte Zeitung‘s feature, the International News editors missed two ingenious points: 1) The pilot did not simply blow the rotors around by sheer lung-power. He breathed normally into the box, in which a marvelous chemical contrivance converted the carbon dioxide of his breath into fuel to run a small motor which turned the rotors! (As everyone should know, carbon dioxide is anything but combustible.) 2) The pilot’s name, Koycher (not Kocher), was a freak spelling of Kencher which means “puffer” or “hot air merchant.”

But it wasn’t long before the kind of flight news that would have once been an obvious hoax began to seem feasible: in 1937, faux-pilot Koycher showed up again in the pages of TIME, but as a counterexample. “Three years ago, like many another newspaper, the New York Times carried an astonishing picture of a man on skis propelling himself off the ground by puffing into a pair of rotors. It turned out to be an April Fooler concocted by the editors of Germany’s Berliner Illustrirte Zeitung,” TIME noted. “Last week, however, the feat which Icarus and Leonardo da Vinci made famous by failure was finally achieved. In Milan, where Leonardo experimented with flapping wings 400 years ago, Pilot Vittorio Bonomi took off, flew five-eighths of a mile in a bicycle plane worked only by his own strength.”

Read TIME’s 1934 debunking of the lung-powered flight, here in the TIME Vault: Daedalus

TIME viral

Watch a Man Break the Guinness World Record for Most Jokes Told in One Minute

He tells 26 joke in 60 seconds

A quick-fire comedian broke the Guinness World Record for the most jokes told in one minute.

Clive Greenaway, 57, managed to spit out 26 one-liners in just 60 seconds.

“When I heard a German held the world record form telling the most jokes in one minute I couldn’t believe it and knew it had to be broken,” the British comic told the Telegraph. “There was a lot of training that went into it. After I wrote down 30 jokes it took me months to practice them and get them word perfect and build up my delivery speed.”

Some jokes included, “My wife dresses to kill — and cooks the same way” and “Went to the paper shop — but it had blown away.”

Quantity over quality, I guess.

[Telegraph]

Read next: 790 Aussies Just Held the World’s Biggest Skinny-Dip

Listen to the most important stories of the day.

TIME Marriage

Dutchman’s Romantic Proposal Almost Destroys Nearby Building

Crane topples on to house during dramatic proposal
Michiel Van Beers—EPA A crane fell on to the roof of a house in IJsselstein, Netherlands, on Dec. 13, 2014. The incident ocurred when a man tried to surprise his girlfriend by proposing from the top of the crane, which then toppled on to the house, though no injuries were reported.

Talk about a hopeless romantic

Let this be a cautionary tale to all you lovers with Hollywood-fueled ideas about marriage proposals. A little glitz is fine but don’t go too big—or too heavy, as the case may be.

A man in the Dutch town of IJsselstein was hoping to surprise his girlfriend with an elaborate marriage proposal Saturday morning, the BBC reports, when surprise her he did—by smashing the roof of a neighbor’s house with the unanchored crane he had secured for the occasion.

The man, whose name has not been released, intended to descend in front of her bedroom window and sing her a song before proposing. Instead the crane crashed through a nearby ceiling and caused the evacuation of other nearby homes.

No one was hurt in the incident, not even the budding couple—Dutch media reports the woman said yes to the proposal, and the lovers are now vacationing in Paris.

[BBC]

TIME Television

Why Jennifer Lawrence Is Terrified of Singing in Public

Says she sounds like a tone-deaf Amy Winehouse

Jennifer Lawrence admitted singing in public is one of her biggest fears on the Late Show with David Letterman Wednesday.

It all began, the Mockingjay Part I star said, when she had to sing Holly Jolly Christmas in a school production at the age of 8, and her parents laughed at her for days afterward.

Lawrence jokingly says she now sings in a tone-deaf Amy Winehouse voice. Watch the video above to hear it for yourself.

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