TIME celebrities

Watch a Young Jon Hamm Get Brutally Rejected on ’90s Dating Show

Even though he promised her an "evening of total fabulosity."

Once upon a time, 25-year-old Jon Hamm got brutally rejected by some fool named Mary Carter on a cheesy 1996 dating show.

The doe-eyed future Mad Men star got his heart broken on The Big Date, hosted by a guy named Mark Walberg (no relation) who says he was “born to be a matchmaker.”

The lovely damsel Mary Carter said she needs a “sexy hot man” who “knows how to give a good foot massage” because she “has a foot fetish.”

The first guy was too creepy. He told Mary he was a stunt man, “so I have to take her home later and show her my flexibility. “

The second guy was too touchy-feely. He had frosted tips, and told Mary he wanted to “squeeze her like a little teddy bear.”

Jon Hamm was just right. He said he would take her on a date that would “start off with some fabulous food, add a little fabulous conversation, and end it with a fabulous foot massage for an evening of total fabulosity.”

But Mary Carter chose the stunt man guy, because he shook her hand when he met her. Choosing a handshake over a fabulous foot massage from Jon Hamm is a real rookie mistake.

Mary Carter, wherever you are, I hope you and your feet are happy with your choices.

TIME Media

James Franco: Horndog or Marketing Genius?

The actor said he "used bad judgement" in messaging a 17-year old Scottish girl on Instagram, but some think the awkward flap may be a bizarre publicity stunt for Franco’s upcoming movie about a soccer coach who has an affair with a teenage player

James Franco was mighty quick to admit that the sketchy Instagram messages he sent to an teenage girl were actually real during his Friday appearance on Live with Kelly and Michael.

“I used bad judgement and I learned my lesson,” said the This is The End star. “But unfortunately in my position, I mean I have a very good life, but not only do I have to go through the embarassing rituals of meeting someone, sometimes if I do that then it gets published for the world, so it’s like doubly embarrassing.”

That was easy.

The awkward flap with a 17-year old Scottish schoolgirl broke just as the first trailer was released for Franco’s movie Palo Alto, in which the actor plays an adult soccer coach who has an affair with one of his teenage players… sound familiar? The movie is also based on a book of short stories Franco wrote.

So is James Franco sketchy for hitting on a teenage girl through Instagram? Or is he sketchy for pretending to hit on a teenage girl in order to promote his new movie in which he plays a guy who hits on a teenage girl?

Either way, it’s icky.

 

TIME relationships

Man Who Really Cannot Handle Rejection Steals His OkCupid Date’s Phone

Online dating
Getty Images

And then he hacks her OkCupid account like a true gentleman

Anyone who’s ever used online dating site OkCupid knows it can be a convenient way to connect with somebody really interesting and worthwhile. Or, it can be a festering cesspool of awkwardness, crawling with weirdos and people who just can’t find it in them to stop talking about how study abroad changed their life.

But usually, the worst thing those weirdos ever do is talk way too much about Game of Thrones, and the worst thing the study abroad enthusiasts do is assure you that in Spain, they never would be eating dinner this early.

So really, they are all pretty harmless compared to the Brooklyn man who stole his date’s iPhone — and hacked her OkCupid account — after she rejected him. It all began when, after a few drinks, the 24-year-old suitor invited his 22-year-old companion back to his apartment, the New York Post reports. She declined, and he then followed her to the subway station and threw a water bottle at her. She got away from him, but he did manage to steal her phone.

The man, who police are still seeking, used the phone to text the woman’s friend and then log into her dating profile. He uploaded photos and then changed her profile to say “I’m available for threesomes,” she told the Post.

So, next time your OkCupid date tries to speak to you in Dothraki or talks too much about how much Kenya changed him, consider yourself lucky. Things could be way, way worse.

TIME

Watch A Really Awkward First Date Unfold in Real Time

Can't. Look. Away.

Get ready to watch the most awkward thing you’ve seen in your life. Vice is ensuring your Friday will be totally unproductive by livestreaming the first date between two strangers. The couple is currently having a drink at The Old Blue Last, a bar in London. It’s basically like if someone took that first kiss video that went viral last week but made it in color and swapped out the beautiful models for a dude wearing a Family Guy t-shirt and a beanie emblazoned with the word “dope” and a girl who seems kind of cool and stylish.

In fact, Vice did a remake of that kissing video with real strangers and the guy participating in this date is one of them. Guess Vice is a matchmaking service for Family Guy fans now.

You’d assume that these two love birds would be on their best behavior — a first date is basically a job interview for love, right? — but this winsome twosome can’t seem to make eye contact for more than 10 seconds at a time or talk about anything that isn’t a giant cliche. Topics so far include cheesy pick-up lines, the intersection of love and beauty and so much more. If this couple doesn’t make it, there’s no hope for the rest of us.

TIME celebrities

VIDEO: George Clooney’s Hot New Lady Friend’s Resume Is Way More Impressive Than His

This rumored relationship already looks different from the rest

+ READ ARTICLE

Any woman who dates George Clooney is subject to scrutiny and judgement — and for the most part, the general sentiment has been that Clooney strategically dates down.

Until now, that is. Clooney has been spotted on numerous occasions with the highly accomplished Amal Alamuddin, who’s rumored to be his new girlfriend. According to Jezebel, he’s now dating out of his league.

Alamuddin was educated at Oxford and NYU, and specializes in international law. She is advising Kofi Annan on the U.N.’s Syria talks, served as the co-editor of a law book from Oxford University Press and previously represented Julian Assange in extradition proceedings.

Looks like Hollywood’s Hottest Bachelor got together with London’s Hottest Barrister—leaving the rest of us extra jealous.

TIME apps

Tinder Is Making It Easier for Celebrities to Hook Up with Normals

Actress Lindsay Lohan speaks at a press conference on Jan. 20, 2014 in Park City, Utah.
Actress Lindsay Lohan speaks at a press conference on Jan. 20, 2014 in Park City, Utah. George Pimentel—Getty Images

Say hello to the verified account

People rarely find themselves looking at a picture of an objectively attractive celebrity and think, Wow, it must be really hard for you to find a date. But lo and behold: It turns out that Tinder, the dating app that has made it significantly easier for the normals to get some, has actually posed problems for famous people.

“We’ve had celebrities reach out to us frequently throughout the last year, sort of calling out various frustrations convincing users that they were actually who they are,” co-founder Sean Rad tells TIME. “One impediment is that sometimes their Facebook accounts, which we pull information from, includes different names than their actual likeness… So [celebrities] were asking for the ability to modify their Tinder name and maybe have a verified badge.”

Thus, like Facebook and Twitter, Tinder is adopting verification badges to help the famous and the plebes intermingle.

Rad had his first concerned celebrity reach out about having difficulty convincing matches of his real identity two months after the app launched in Fall of 2012. “It was awesome [to know celebrities are on Tinder] because it sort of validated our theories that everyone, even people of influence, need help forming relationships,” Rad says. “It’s important to us that our users know we are committed to authenticity on every level.”

On a much smaller scale, Rad and his co-founder Justin Mateen know how difficult it can be to convince Tinder matches of their real identities. For a period of time, the two men listed themselves as the app’s co-founders in their Tinder profile tagline.

“No one believed us, they thought it was lying and say ‘funny joke loser,’” Mateen said in a past interview.

Mateen wants a verification — the honor might not only be bestowed to Hollywood A-listers but also recognizable leaders in other arenas — but, “we haven’t decided if he qualifies yet; his account is in review,” Rad says. “This isn’t something that we are going to loosely hand out.”

Even though Rad won’t disclose which celebrities are having dating app issues due to Tinder/Tindee confidentiality, he assures TIME, “These are A-listers.” Sochi athletes admitted to using Tinder during the Olympics, and other celebrities have opened up about the app to the public. Lindsay Lohan, for example, let her Instagram followers know that she found her brother on Tinder:

So now you’ll know that that Lindsay lookalike is actually Lindsay. Whether you swipe left or right is up to you.

TIME

This Dating App Lets You Snag a Hottie Using Your Voice, Not Your Face

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Getty Images

Good news for the non-photogenic

If you’re looking for a new dating app — which, let’s be honest, you’re probably not, because there are already about 12 billion out there — here’s a fun one. It’s called Revealr, and rather than relying on photos of users’ faces, it relies on recordings of their voices.

Available now for iPhone, the app requires users to log in through Facebook and then record 20-second audio introductions. That recording, along with the user’s name, age, location and a very pixelated photo, are shared with potential matches. Once two users both swipe right for “like,” they are matched up and their photos are revealed.

From there, it’s pretty much the same as Tinder or any other non-voice based dating apps. That 20-second audio bit could be pretty helpful, though. What if someone has the face of an angel but the voice of drunk Gilbert Gottfried? Better to find that out early.

TIME relationships

Want a European Lover? Find a Brit

Among denizens of the Old World, the British are the most faithful, while the French finish last, according to a new survey.

If you’re looking for love with a European, and fidelity is a must, you might cast your lot with the Brits. According to a study by Gleeden, a European dating site for extramarital affairs, the British are the most faithful among all Europeans, with 40% of men and 29% of women reporting cheating on their partner.

Not so surprisingly, the French and Italians are the least faithful among residents of the E.U. (President François Hollande, anyone?) Over half of French and Italian men and a third of the women reported cheating on their partner, according to the Telegraph.

Gleeden’s survey polled 5,000 Europeans and found that the British were also less likely to cheat compared to polled Belgians, Spanish and Germans. Overall, women were less likely to cheat compared to men in every country.

The British were also the most likely to feel regret after cheating on their partner, with about half of them saying they felt bad afterward. Only 28% of the French said they regretted their infidelities.

[The Telegraph]

TIME Apps & Web

There’s Now a Hookup App to Facilitate Threesomes

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Tara Moore—Getty Images

Though we believe there's already a service for this called "Craigslist"

Have you grown tired of Tinder? No longer hooked on Hinge? Sick of gadding about on Grindr? Well, if you’re on the hunt for a new dating app with a new twist, say hello to 3nder, the service that promises to provide “threesomes made easy.”

Before you get too excited about all the ménage à trois that awaits you: this app is still in its funding stage. So you’ll have to be patient, but the upside here is that the developers still have time to come up with a less-confusing and easier-to-pronounce name. (Threender? Three-ender? Three-inder? Ender?)

Here’s the gist, according to the app’s website:

A service that works for singles and couples. It’s the easiest way to satisfy your human needs and spend some fun time with other people. You can easily hide yourself from friends and family so you can browse freely.

But 3nder doesn’t just seek to help individuals satisfy their needs and fulfill their fantasies. It also seeks to make society as a whole more open about sexual desires. “We need to evolve our social acceptance,” the website says. That’s all fine and good, but we still think the first step here is coming up with a better name.

TIME relationships

Why I Can’t Date a Liberal

James Carville and Mary Matalin
James Carville and Mary Matalin Michael Kovac—WIreImage

Conservative political analyst Carrie Sheffield on the case for not crossing the political aisle when it comes to love

Ah, Valentine’s Day. For many singles, it’s time for well-meaning loved ones to pester singles about dating. Time to suppress aching feelings when walking past Tiffany’s. Time to slurp pink punch and stumble home alone.

As a rather happily single New Yorker, those things don’t worry me. You see, I’ve become pickier about men. Surrounded by liberals here in the home of hipster Brooklyn and Occupy Wall Street, as a conservative with years of dating lefties, I’m unabashedly declaring my freedom.

“You unromantic cur, how dare you discriminate against someone for their political beliefs?” collectivist America shouts. “You’re shutting yourself off to the magical, unknowable algorithmic elixir of love! Good riddance!”

Here in the Big Apple, I meet conservative guys who say they’re shot down by liberal women over politics. Conservative author S.E. Cupp gives lusty details of a young Manhattan man (an amalgam of several people) who fails to seduce a woman who “can’t get off under a poster of George W. Bush.” Yes, that’s weird you have his visage in your room, but buck up, Dubya fan! You dodged unsexy pillow talk about why one-percenters are the devil and how Che Guevara is a hottie.

Obviously, not all liberal women are that hardline (including many close friends of mine). And there’s no point stereotyping liberals as nonshowering, socks-with-sandals, wussy granola types. That’s as lame as stereotyping conservatives as gun-obsessed, uncreative, heartless jerks who enjoy tossing orphans into the streets.

I’ve dated guys from a smorgasbord of racial and ethnic backgrounds, but that’s a separate matter. Unlike race, being liberal is a choice, just like being conservative is a choice. No baby pops out a liberal or conservative; it’s a state of mind he adopts later on. He may be conditioned from birth, but there comes a time when he chooses Chomsky over Hayek.

My political beliefs stem from data analysis, academic pursuits and travels abroad. Plenty of my close liberal friends who have similar backgrounds come to polar-opposite conclusions, and that’s dandy. But it doesn’t mean I want that cognitive processing around me 24/7 in the most intimate of unions. Tolerance does not equal tenderness. Romance is a union of body, mind and soul, and when we’re out of sync on politics, it’s a huge mental obstacle.

Social scientist Robert Putnam of Harvard University — certainly no Dr. Phil — theorizes in his book Bowling Alone about bridging vs. bonding social capital. Bonding means ties between people like yourself (e.g., same gender or ideology), and bridging means ties with people unlike yourself. Of course, we’re all human beings who need both types of social capital, and everyone determines which social factors matter most in the home, the epicenter of bonding.

Politics consumes much of my life, which makes it basically a deal breaker for me. That doesn’t mean political compromise isn’t possible — it’s just not easy for a political analyst whose bacon comes from arguing for a cause. Home life is exhausting when bridging trumps bonding about your life’s work. It’s like a chef who won’t date fruitarians: the discrimination seems reasonable, since cooking and sharing a diverse palette of meals dominates his life.

There are couples who work on opposite sides of the political aisle, and it’s beautiful for them. There aren’t as many conservative women with liberal men, a natural outgrowth of party affiliation by gender (women tend to identify as donkeys and men as elephants), but one example is James Carville and Mary Matalin. Yet the Carville-Matalin marriage is a national curiosity precisely because it’s so rare!

Naomi Riley, author of ‘Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage Is Transforming America, reports that “Inter-political party marriages are far less common than interfaith marriages and slightly more common than interracial ones: Only 18% of married Americans have a spouse who claims a different political affiliation, compared with at least a third of Americans who are in interfaith marriages.”

Thus it’s possible but improbable that I’ll seriously date a liberal. If he’s moderate or apolitical, that’s great. He needn’t work in politics, and preferably he doesn’t. But after years of willful ignorance about compatibility, I’ve returned to the belief that successful relationships come when people are “equally yoked.” It’s a bit ironic for me, an agnostic, to quote the Bible, but, hey, the book has enough wisdom to last so long. For me, “equally yoked” means a couple is compatible on what matters most to each of them, whether that’s religion, location, kids or fidelity. When there’s fundamental incompatibility, it’s a recipe for conflict.

This may be a chicken-or-egg matter, but culture and ideology profoundly shape behavior. When a man’s strongly held values clash with mine, I’d rather say “Adios!” than worry that disagreement about which movie to watch on Netflix on Friday night could devolve into heated sparring about entitlement reform, Afghanistan or charter schools.

Life’s too short to get stuck with someone better left in the “friend” category. Of course, political compatibility is necessary but not sufficient. He must love dogs — or be open to someday having a pocket beagle in the house. But I’d be willing to settle for a corgi or even a Lab. Who says women can’t compromise?

Sheffield, a contributor to Forbes, is a writer in Manhattan.

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