TIME celebrity

Meghan Trainor Performs New Thanksgiving Classic Songs on Jimmy Kimmel Live

“Whoa — Why Did Linda Bring Kevin?” is sure to become a new holiday classic

Last night, Jimmy Kimmel rightly pointed out the serious lack of songs about Thanksgiving, despite the existence of an entire genre of Christmas music. To fill this gap, he invited Meghan Trainor — whose number one single “All About That Bass” is finally seeing the last of its parodies — to create some brand new turkey day classics.

Dressed in her best autumn sweater, Trainor tackles many of the subjects that make Thanksgiving a memorable day, if not always in a good way: travel delays, racist family members, politics at the dinner table, and other holiday plights that only a heaping helping of mashed potatoes can begin to compensate for.

As the faux-infomercial unveils more song titles, including the spot-on “I Would Like to Leave (To Get Drunk with My Friends),” it becomes apparent that Thanksgiving is perhaps best enjoyed sans music. The smell of gravy and the sight of a giant inflatable Pikachu should set the mood just fine.

TIME celebrity

Ellen DeGeneres Plays Anastasia Steele in Hilarious Fifty Shades of Grey Movie Parody

Christian Grey has finally found his soul mate.

Sultry, sexy, steamy. Those are all adjectives people use to describe mega-hit Fifty Shades of Grey. But those are not words normally associated with talk show host Ellen DeGeneres — until now.

DeGeneres just unveiled her own part in the erotic bestseller turned Hollywood film on her show Ellen, and it’s a winner. While Fifty Shades claims to have cast Dakota Johnson as the film’s wide-eyed lead, Anastasia Steele, DeGeneres revealed that it’s all been a ruse, and she is actually the star of the film and has the trailer to prove it.

In the clip, DeGeneres stares balefully at the film’s charismatic and chiseled male protagonist, Christian Grey (played by Jamie Dornan), as she interviews him in his austere offices, watches him play piano and kisses him on the streets of Seattle. With just one glance at DeGeneres as Anastasia Steele, it’s clear that poor, troubled Christian Grey has finally met his true soul mate—as long as she gets the popcorn off her face.

MORE:

Check Out the New Photo From the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie

Here’s the Frozen and Fifty Shades of Grey Mashup Nobody Asked For

TIME Television

Suze Orman to Leave CNBC After 14 Years

AOL's BUILD Speaker Series: In Conversation With Suze Orman
Suze Orman speaks during AOL's BUILD Speaker Series Jenny Anderson—WireImage

621 episodes of 'The Suze Orman Show' have aired to date

Personal finance expert Suze Orman is saying goodbye to CNBC after 14 years with the network.

The Suze Orman Show, which has been on the air for 621 episodes to date, aired only once a week, on Saturdays. Now, Variety reports, the anchor will head a show five nights a week, called Suze Orman’s Money Wars, through Warner Bros.’ Telepictures Productions. Its host network has not yet been announced.

“I want to personally thank Suze for her friendship and for her incredible contributions to CNBC,” channel president Mark Hoffman wrote in a staff note Tuesday.

The final episode of The Suze Orman Show will air March 28.

[Variety]

TIME celebrity

Nick Offerman Stars in Decemberists’ Heartbreaking New Music Video

Brief performance exists at the intersection of humor and pain

We know Nick Offerman best as a man’s man, a man of few words whose stoicism rarely betrays the emotions within. And that’s why the times when he does express an ounce of sadness or regret cut a little bit deeper. In this video for the Decemberists’ “Make You Better,” Offerman gets laughs as a fumbling German talk show host interviewing lead singer Colin Meloy. But it’s his portrayal of longing and insecurity that makes the performance memorable.

Though he’s all moustache and bravado on the outside, Offerman’s character faces that familiar pain of unrequited love, and a nerve too weak to proclaim it. As he struggles to find the right words, the Decemberists play a song of need and regret to match the shape of his wound. The premise is funny, but the execution, a little bit heartbreaking.

“Make You Better” appears on the forthcoming album What A Terrible World, What A Beautiful World, which drops on Jan. 20.

TIME celebrity

Watch Jennifer Aniston Prank a Reporter

No talking points here

Jennifer Aniston has been promoting her film Horrible Bosses 2, in which she plays a so-called dirty dentist sexually harassing one of her employees to the brink of insanity.

One of the stops on her press tour was at BBC Radio 1, where she and reporter Chris Stark are well known to each other after an adorably awkward interview with Stark went viral. (Stark is known for charmingly inept interviews—he famously almost asked Mila Kunis out on a date during the press tour for Oz the Great and Powerful.)

This time around, though, the interview with Aniston doesn’t go nearly as smoothly. In fact, it’s awkward and uncomfortable, and Aniston seems downright offended as Stark asks her seemingly harmless questions about her character and her dating habits.

That’s because, unbeknownst to Stark, Aniston is working with Scott Mills, one of his BBC Radio 1 coworkers, to pull a prank on the young reporter. It worked.

Read next: Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow Curse Each Other Out on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

TIME celebrity

Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow Curse Each Other Out on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

@#$*

There was a mini-Friends reunion on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night, but no one was very friendly.

Former Friends co-stars Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow were both guests on Kimmel’s show as Aniston was making the rounds to promote her new film Horrible Bosses 2 and Kudrow was celebrating her comeback on The Comeback.

However instead of a joyful reunion between former cast mates, Kimmel pitted them against each other in a vicious war of words called “Celebrity Curse Off.” Each actress was given five seconds to come up with a jaw-dropping vulgarity until one of the women failed to deliver a fittingly shocking return volley.

If you can read between the beeps — and Aniston went Greek at one point – it’s an X-rated foray into diabolical language, with Kudrow getting a boost thanks to her teenaged son’s vocabulary.

Read next: Watch Jennifer Aniston Prank a Reporter

TIME celebrities

Kim Kardashian Shares Her Latest Magazine Cover With a Cupcake

Elle UK

Break the Internet, Part 2?

Less than two weeks after “breaking the Internet” with her nude cover of Paper Magazine, Kim Kardashian is gracing the cover of another glossy mag—this time with a cupcake.

Elle UK‘s January issue features Kardashian in three alternate covers, shot by fashion photographer Jean Baptsite Mondino. But this time, rather than having her derrière resemble “a glazed Krispy Kreme donut”—as Brain Moylan wrote for TIME—Kardashian has posed with an actual pastry. One of the covers of “The Confidence Issue” features Kardashian wearing booty shorts and staring wistfully (er, confidently) at her cupcake frosted covered fingers.

Elle explains that the reality star and app mogul “has also, through her unerring self-belief, redefined our perception of body beautiful.”

TIME

J.K. Rowling Reveals Her Dream Job If She Weren’t A Writer

Dream job alert

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling won Twitter today by revealing the career she would have adopted were she not a hugely successful writer:

Potter fans will likely recognize the significance of her choice. The Patronus, the result of a defensive spell that channels a wizard’s positive feelings, of main character Hermione (who Rowling has said is based on her younger self) is an otter.

But just in case case Rowling is looking for a second job, we would like to point out that some China Zoos are hiring for panda nannies. Just think of the bedtime stories she’d tell them.

TIME celebrity

Waka Flocka Flame’s Ad for Throat Drops Is a Giant Weed Joke

This is the same guy who wanted to hire a blunt roller a couple of months ago

During the 2014 American Music Awards, a commercial for Pine Brothers throat drops aired starring rapper Waka Flocka Flame (the same guy who advertised on Instagram in September, “Im paying 50K a year for a blunt roller….Hashtag #ICanRoll”). It is pretty hilarious to watch him sit back on a couch and promote sore throat relief in a smoke-filled room.

MORE:

The American Music Awards Proved New Pop Stars Are Way Too Cautious

Lorde Performs Her ‘Mockingjay’ Theme Song, ‘Yellow Flicker Beat’

Taylor Swift Goes Crazy on the American Music Awards Stage Performing ‘Blank Space’

 

 

TIME Opinion

Ask an Ethicist: Can I Still Watch The Cosby Show?

Bill Cosby, Camille Cosby
Bill Cosby sits for an interview about the exhibit, Conversations: African and African-American Artworks in Dialogue, at the Smithsonian's National Museum of African Art in Washington on Nov. 6, 2014. Evan Vucci—AP

I can get over the fact that Martin Luther King, Jr. cheated on his wife, but I don’t care that the Nazis made the trains run on time. Making that call is a moral calculus: when do the negative aspects of a public figure outweigh the positive? Granted, in Bill Cosby’s case, we’re talking about a comedian, but the question is relevant for The Cosby Show‘s legacy. Should I think less of The Cosby Show‘s power to teach and to change perceptions of race in America if it turns out Bill Cosby is a rapist?

Like most people, when I first heard word of allegations that Bill Cosby had raped multiple women, I impulsively pushed them to the back of my mind. For me, The Cosby Show’s legacy is personal. As a kid, the young Huxtables were among the few children on television with faces that looked like mine living well-adjusted upper middle class existences that resembled my own. When I considered my Cosby experience alongside the actor’s on-screen persona, a doctor and family man who combined life lessons with old-fashioned humor, I intuitively knew that he couldn’t be a serial rapist.

But eventually emotion gave way to reason. Seven women with little to gain have reported that Cosby committed the same heinous crime, rape, in the same way. So if someone like me, a life long fan, believes these women, where does that leave The Cosby Show? Are all of Cosby’s indelible life lessons suddenly moot? Does secretly watching an episode when no one is around condone sex crimes?

To help me think through these questions, I turned to ethicists and academics.

First, there’s the question of morality versus art. To condemn his actions, do I also have to repudiate the man and his work? I took this up with Jeremy David Fix, a fellow at Harvard’s Safra Center for Ethics who studies moral philosophy: Would continuing to watch The Cosby Show harm anyone, even indirectly?

(MORE: So What Do We Do About The Cosby Show?)

On the one hand, watching the show helps in some small way line Bill Cosby’s pockets via residuals. On the other hand, with an estimated net worth of over $350 million at the age 77, he can already rest assured that he’ll live the rest of his life comfortably. But Harvard’s Fix asks a good question: What about the women who have been assaulted—what sort of message does it send if I keep supporting Cosby, even indirectly? I had to give up watching, I started to conclude. Otherwise, I might inadvertently send the signal that I think sexual assault is something that can be treated flippantly.

But how do I weigh the message that watching the show might send victims against the still-needed message that it sends to America at-large about race? I had finally stumped Fix. So I turned to historians and other thinkers to talk about the show’s legacy and whether it still has a positive role to play in discussions about race.

Joe Feagin, a sociologist who has written about The Cosby Show, talks eloquently about the indelible impression the show left on the country. Black Americans tend to celebrate the achievement of a top-rated show featuring a black cast in a positive light. They will probably keep doing that even if they condemn its creator. White Americans tend to celebrate the show as evidence that African-Americans can succeed in middle class life, Feagin said. While that view leaves society’s entrenched racism unaddressed, I’d still take Cosby over the Sanford and Son. Let’s face it, American residential communities are still largely racially homogenous, and it would certainly benefit future generations to see black families like the Huxtables.

So I tried to convince myself that somehow we could condemn Cosby’s rape message while continuing to watch the show. That is, I hoped we could separate Cliff Huxtable from Bill Cosby. But in the end, I don’t think we can any more. The two are so closely linked that as I tried to watch an episode of The Cosby Show this week, the image of Cliff kept reminding me of the actor’s pathetic silence in response to questions about the accusations him. If that distracted me, I can only imagine how an assault survivor would feel. The show has positively affected millions of Americans, and that legacy remains intact, but maybe it’s time for a new show to teach us about race. It’s a little overdue anyway.

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