TIME celebrities

Martha Stewart Mocks Gwyneth Paltrow Again… With Photo of Pie

Martha Stewart Weddings Celebrates 20 Years of Weddings
Martha Stewart (PatrickMcMullan.com via AP Images) Patrick McMullan—AP

The domestic expert goes after her younger counterpart in "conscious uncoupling" magazine spread

The Gwyneth Paltrow/Martha Stewart feud had seemed to simmer down when Paltrow, the actress-turned-Goop-newsletter-publisher, said she was “psyched” that Stewart “sees us as competition.” It was a canny reply to months of snide comments by Stewart about Paltrow’s domestic-icon aspirations, most recently a claim that if Paltrow “were confident in her acting, she wouldn’t be trying to be Martha Stewart.”

But the new issue of Martha Stewart Living contains a shocking new slap in the face — as shocking as a pie in the face.

The photo spread, entitled “Conscious Coupling,” features a caption describing a picture of a pie as “a long-married pair who bring out the best in each other, are completely enamored despite their differences, and leave every other guest thinking, I’ll have what they’re having.” The fact that the “couple” the article is describing are, nonsensically, the crust and filling of a pie only serves to emphasize just how gratuitous the slam is: As connoisseurs of celebrity gossip will recall, Paltrow used her newsletter to describe her divorce from ex-husband Chris Martin as a “conscious uncoupling.”

To be clear: It was more important to the Martha Stewart Living editorial team to shoehorn into their Thanksgiving issue a food-article-length subtweet at Paltrow than to make any coherent sense.

We’re now to the point where a mere act of flipping through a lifestyle magazine or opening up an email newsletter is now fraught with the tension of an openly derisive rivalry. What seems clear is that Stewart is the one running scared. These are wince-inducing defense tactics, and only make Paltrow’s self-awareness seem more appealing. We will have what she’s having.

TIME celebrities

See Neil Patrick Harris’ Best Roles

The actor chronicles his journey from squeaky-clean teen to murder suspect in his book, Choose Your Own Autobiography

Neil Patrick Harris’ memoir, Choose Your Own Autobiography, promises to trace the actor’s long career — from a nerdy 14-year-old prodigy doctor in Doogie Howser to a metaphorical ladykiller on How I Met Your Mother to a potential actual ladykiller in Gone Girl. Here’s a look at NPH’s many roles as his book hits shelves on Oct. 14.

TIME celebrities

Larry David Wishes He Were Young Enough to Date Jennifer Lawrence

File photo of actress Jennifer Lawrence arriving at the 2014 Vanity Fair Oscars Party in West Hollywood
Actress Jennifer Lawrence arrives at the 2014 Vanity Fair Oscars Party in West Hollywood, Calif. on March 2, 2014. Danny Moloshok—Reuters

“It’s a shame I’m about 40 years older than she is”

Jennifer Lawrence loves Larry David—she said so herself in her wide-ranging interview with Vanity Fair. But it looks like their love is not meant to be.

“I’m in love with him, and I have been for a really long time,” said Lawrence, 24. “I worship Woody Allen, but I don’t feel it below-the-belt the way I do for Larry David.”

David, 67, responded to her comments during an interview at the New Yorker Festival on Saturday, saying, “it’s a shame I’m about 40 years older than she is”

Regarding Lawrence’s “below-the-belt” feelings, David suggested perhaps the Oscar winner was referring “to her knees.”

“I don’t think I could do it,” David said. “On one hand it’s very flattering and on another hand, it’s kind of a shame—in terms of timing. I’d have fun watching the reality show of it, though.”

[Vanity Fair]

Read next: Jennifer Lawrence’s Breasts Aren’t Sending Mixed Messages

TIME celebrities

Penelope Cruz Named Esquire‘s ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’

Esquire Magazine

But feels more like a “mother who doesn’t get enough sleep”

Penelope Cruz is the “Sexiest Woman Alive” in 2014.

That’s according to Esquire, which named the 40-year-old actress its sexiest woman in its November issue, though the men’s magazine says she doesn’t feel like the sexiest woman alive—more like a “mother who doesn’t get enough sleep.”

The Academy Award-winning actress, who is married to Javier Bardem and has two young children, said while she was attracted to drama in her young age, now she thrives on planning.

“I had an attraction to drama,” she said. “Most of us have that, especially if you are an artist—you feel like you are tempted to explore the darkness. I could not be less interested now. For me, the most attractive, charming, cool, fun, interesting thing—how could I call it? A plan.”


TIME celebrities

Family Reports Actress Misty Upham Missing

Misty Upham
Actress Misty Upham from "August: Osage County" poses at private photo shoot on March 1, 2014 in Los Angeles. Brian To—WireImage/Getty Images

SEATTLE (AP) — Police in Washington state say an actress known for her roles in “August: Osage County,” ”Frozen River” and “Django Unchained” is missing.

The Seattle Times reports that 32-year-old Misty Upham hasn’t been heard from or seen for the past week.

Officials at the Auburn Police Department say the acclaimed Native American actress was staying at a family member’s apartment on the Muckleshoot reservation near Auburn. Her father filed a missing persons report on Monday.

Cmdr. Steve Stocker says Upham is not considered endangered. He acknowledges that her family is concerned about her and so are the police, but her disappearance is not suspicious.

In a statement to the media on Friday, Upham’s father Charles wrote that she has a medical condition that has the family concerned.


TIME celebrities

Watch John Cleese Insult Taylor Swift’s Cat to Her Face

No cat fight here

You have to be pretty bold to take on Olivia Benson. No, not that Olivia Benson — Taylor Swift’s cat, who happens to be named after the Law & Order: SVU character.

The singer showed off her feline friend (one of two she owns) on The Graham Norton Show, where guest John Cleese made his feelings on the animal’s appearance known to all. “How did it have the accident?” Cleese asked a more-surprised-than-usual Swift. “Is that a proper cat? Is it damaged irrevocably? It’s the weirdest cat I’ve ever seen in my life.”

No cat fight here, though. Taking her own advice, Swift shook off her hater and kept quiet while the Monty Python alum and comedy legend went on to show off his own giant cat.

Read next: Taylor Swift Finally Explains Why She’s a Feminist and How Lena Dunham Helped

TIME celebrities

Watch Viola Davis’ Emotional Speech About Childhood Poverty

"I set out to save myself"

Viola Davis, the star of the new ABC drama How to Get Away With Murder, delivered a powerful speech Friday at Variety’s 2014 Power of Women luncheon, telling an audience that she’s driven to end childhood hunger by memories of “abject poverty” in her own life.

“I stole for food, I jumped in huge garbage bins with maggots for food,” said Davis. “I didn’t join the hunger is campaign to save the world. I set out to save myself.”

She was recognized at a luncheon along with Jane Fonda, Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Lopez for humanitarian efforts, the Associated Press reports.


TIME celebrities

Luke Evans Has Been Out for Years, But He’s Finally Stopped Hiding

Luke Evans
Luke Evans (Photo by Andy Kropa/Invision/AP) Andy Kropa—Andy Kropa /Invision/AP

The Dracula Untold star, who came out years ago, proves that coming out can be a long, rewarding process

This year, National Coming Out Day happens to coincide with the release of Dracula Untold, an accident of timing that’s actually fortuitous. The would-be action franchise kickoff features in the title role Luke Evans, an actor who has (until recently) been less than forthcoming about his sexuality. But Evans, at the very moment he stands at the precipice of major stardom with roles in the Dracula, Fast & Furious, and Hobbit franchises, would seem to be living more openly than ever. He’s proof positive that the work of coming out only begins with a declaration of one’s sexuality, that being open about identity is both rewarding and deeply challenging

Evans, an aspiring star in an industry not historically hospitable to gay people, has long been living in the aftermath of interviews, conducted very early in his career, in which he described himself as a gay man, most notably this interview with gay publication The Advocate. In that 2002 interview, Evans said he refused to remain in the closet: “[E]verybody knew me as a gay man, and in my life in London I never tried to hide it.” He had no need to, as a stage actor in London’s West End.

Hiding his sexuality came later, once a Hollywood movie career began. Evans, through publicists, refused to comment on his past statements and tended to avoid pronouns in interviews about his significant others, hoping to adopt three dogs and “share them with someone else” in a 2010 interview with Cosmopolitan. Slowly but surely, Evans has risen in Hollywood at the cost of the openness he so clearly prized when first starting out.

But this week, Evans finally responded to a question about his sexuality. He responded to a Women’s Wear Daily interviewer asking him if he was setting a new precedent as an openly gay action star: “It’s good for people to look at me and think this guy is doing his thing and enjoying what he’s doing and successful at it and living his life. And that’s what I’m doing and I’m very happy.” The WWD piece makes a note of the fact that Evans’ publicists attempted to keep his sexuality (which they don’t deny) from coming up in the interview, a condition both reporter and subject ignored. And while it may not have been a full-throated declaration of gay pride, Evans’ tacit acknowledgment of his unique status — in a way, he’s been out for years — signals that things may, slowly, be changing for Evans and for gay public figures.

It’s easy to condemn Evans as less-than-perfect in the way he’s bypassed questions about his sexuality since first breaking out in movies. But Evans is part of an industry where, counterexamples like Neil Patrick Harris aside, queerness is a major strike against a star. It’d be a better world if Luke Evans felt empowered to speak openly about his sexuality, just as it would be if former child star Raven-Symoné didn’t make a show of rejecting labels like “lesbian” in acknowledging that she dates women.

But Evans’s refusal, now, to deny or dissemble signals a step forward of sorts. He may not be the gay action hero we want, but he’s the one we have, and one we can only hope grows still more comfortable. In Evans, gay people who’ve spent years trying to grow comfortable in the world can see themselves. He’s undergoing a process that’s often circuitous and halting. In struggling with how to define himself and ending up, for now, in a place of acceptance and the beginnings of openness, the musclebound vampire has never seemed more like an everyman.

TIME celebrities

Gwyneth Paltrow to President Obama: “You’re So Handsome I Can’t Speak Properly”

Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow. (Photo by Dan Steinberg/Invision/AP) Dan Steinberg—Dan Steinberg/Invision/AP

The Goop icon meets the President at a Los Angeles fundraiser

For perhaps the first time, Gwyneth Paltrow was at a loss for words.

The actress and cookbook author hosted a Democratic National Committee fundraiser at her Los Angeles home, and told guest of honor President Obama: “You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly.”

Paltrow was reportedly composed enough in the presence of the President to remind him that she had been a longtime supporter, telling him she was “one of your biggest fans, if not the biggest.” The actress also told the assembled crowd, including Julia Roberts and The West Wing star Bradley Whitford, that equal pay was an issue “very important to me as a working mother.”

This sort of rhetoric has, historically, bothered those who find everything about Paltrow bothersome; she’s not exactly a typical working mother, as indicated by her weekly Goop newsletters advising readers on complicated recipes and luxury fashions.

But what Paltrow may lack in self-awareness she makes up for in passion. Even before last night’s fundraiser, the actress had been involved in politics, taping an ad encouraging expatriate Americans to vote for Obama via absentee ballot in the 2008 election. She lived in London at the time with her husband Chris Martin, from whom she has since consciously uncoupled.

For his part, Obama was reported to have enjoyed Paltrow’s hospitality. Following her compliment on his appearance, the President said “I’m taking her to the next event.”

TIME celebrities

Watch Jennifer Garner Explain How She’ll Talk to Her Kids About Sex

Jennifer Garner, who stars in a new movie about the perils of the Internet called Men, Women & Children, has nothing particularly against porn. She just doesn’t want her three kids to see it online before she’s had a chance to talk to them about sex. “I really hope my kids don’t run across stuff online that could appear violent to them,” she said in a recent interview with TIME.

Garner — who admitted to taking a pretty disciplined approach to bringing up Violet, 9, Seraphina, 5 and Sam, 2 — said she’s done a lot of thinking about how to teach her kids, especially her daughters, about sex. Even after attending talks, reading books and talking to experts, she’s still not quite sure about the right approach. Her own mother and father, whom she called “the best parents in the world,” have still never talked to her about it. “I’m waiting for The Talk, mom, dad,” she joked in the interview, which TIME subscribers can read here.

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