TIME Music

Weird Al’s New Song Makes Fun of Your Lame Celebrity Name Dropping

Your dentist accidentally sneezed on Russell Crowe? You stayed in the same hotel as Zooey Deschanel once? Weird Al is not impressed

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Well, “Weird Al” Yankovic is making good on his promise to release eight new videos in eight days. His latest is a southern rock style tune that takes aim at all the shameless name droppers who think having some tertiary connection to a celebrity makes them cool.

You once threw up in an elevator next to Christian Slater? You know Paul Giamatti’s plumber? You have the same birthday as Kim Kardashian? Weird Al is begging you to stop with these lame claims to fame.

Okay, we’re kind of guilty of this behavior. Sorry to let you down, Weird Al.

TIME radio

Radio Host Casey Kasem’s Body Missing, Says Daughter’s Lawyer

Casey Kasem
Casey Kasem poses for photographers after receiving the Radio Icon award during The 2003 Radio Music Awards at the Aladdin Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, Oct. 27, 2003. Eric Jamison—AP

Wife and daughters embroiled in debate over his care

A judge has placed a restraining order on Casey Kasem’s wife, preventing her from cremating the famous radio host’s remains, but it’s unclear where they remains are.

The restraining order was granted on the behest of Kerri Kasem, the personality’s daughter, who asked a judge to ensure Kasem’s body was held in cold storage and not cremated before an autopsy was completed.

But when Kerry Kasem’s lawyer went to a Tacoma, Washington, funeral home with a copy of the restraining order, he was told the funeral home no longer had Kasem’s remains. Gaffney Funeral Home & Cremation Services confirmed that Kasem’s body was no longer there.

“They said they could not disclose where he had gone or where he would end up,” Kerry Kasem’s lawyer, Scott Winship, told People.

Kasem was the radio host of “American Top 40″ and voice of animated television characters like Scooby-Doo’s sidekick Shaggy. He died at age 82 on June 15 at a hospital in Gig Harbor, Washington. He was suffering from dementia and his death followed a lengthy debate over his care between his wife and his three children from his first marriage.

[People]

TIME movies

Angie and Brad Reunite in By the Sea

Actress Angelina Jolie and Actor Brad Pitt arrive at the World Premiere Of Disney's 'Maleficent' held at the El Capitan Theatre on May 28, 2014 in Hollywood, Los Angeles.
Actress Angelina Jolie and Actor Brad Pitt arrive at the World Premiere Of Disney's 'Maleficent' held at the El Capitan Theatre on May 28, 2014 in Hollywood, Los Angeles. Xavier Collin—Celebrity Monitor/Corbis

The power couple is getting back together on screen for the first time since their 2005 hit, Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will reunite on screen in a drama that Jolie wrote and will direct, Universal Pictures said Friday.

The film, titled “By the Sea,” will be an intimate, character driven drama, according to the statement. Pitt and Jolie will produce.

It will be the first time the couple has co-starred in a film since Mr. and Mrs. Smith in 2005.

“I am very happy to continue my relationship with [Universal Pictures Chairman Donna Langley] and the entire Universal team as I finish Unbroken and begin work on By the Sea,” Jolie said in the statement. “They have created a very special place for storytellers, and I look forward to the continued passion and support they have provided to me as a filmmaker.”

 

TIME celebrities

The 7 Most Ridiculous Things in Vogue‘s Blake Lively Profile

FRANCE-ENTERTAINMENT-CANNES-FILM-FESTIVAL
US actress Blake Lively poses as she arrives for the screening of the film "Captives" at the 67th edition of the Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, southern France, on May 16, 2014. VALERY HACHE--AFP/Getty Images VALERY HACHE—AFP/Getty Images

Martha Stewart is her Olivia Pope

When someone named Jonathan Van Meter interviews the actress who plays Serena Van der Woodsen, you just know it’s gonna be good, especially when it starts with a Blake Lively in overalls, Louboutins, and a poncho-blanket.

Here’s what we learned from Lively’s cover story in Vogue, which pitches her as the next big “celebrity homemaker.”

1) Blake Lively’s sense of humor is either genius or nonexistent:

Lively has a tendency toward deadpan humor, often delivered with a laconic stare that can make it difficult to figure out whether she is joking or not. “When I say something funny, I don’t laugh,” she says, “so my friends are always like, ‘Hahahahaaaa!’ so people know. When I’m not with them, I always think, This person doesn’t know I’m funny; they just think I’m a jerk.”

Pro tip: If your friends have to say “hahahahaaaa” to let other people know you’re making a joke, maybe it’s not funny? Like this rather mean joke about a not-nice restaurant.

She stares at me with a look that says, Really? It came highly recommended, I say. “By whom,” she asks, “someone who hates us?” It takes a second for me to get that she’s kidding (I think). A waiter approaches us to ask if we’d like to start with something to drink. “Can I have the French onion soup to drink?” says Lively. “I’m sorry?” says the waiter. “See what happens?” Lively says to me. “You have to be my laugh track.”

2) You do not want Blake Lively to be your editor:

Because you’ll never be allowed to use the word “thing:”

“With the bow-tie story,” she says, “I think by shifting into the first person, he would be able to make it a lot more personal . . . that authentic, sort of flawed voice that we’ve been trying to accomplish. I was a little liberal with my revisions. But the humor was already there, so I just went with it.” She flips through the pile of manuscripts in her lap, turning to a different piece. “I think the writer should just scrap it and start over. Because this guy’s work is beautiful . . . but what’s the story? Why bags? Why leather? Why the European military influence?” She pauses for a moment. “And one small thing, which shows up in every piece: the word things. My dad was an English professor. There’s always a more eloquent, descriptive word.”

3) Martha Stewart is her Olivia Pope:

…And sent her Gladiators to save Blake’s wedding to Ryan Reynolds from total catastrophe:

Stewart also acted as a fairy godmother, watching over Blake and Ryan’s wedding. “Our wedding was becoming a disaster, and we didn’t know what to do, so we called Martha! She said, ‘Don’t worry. I’ll handle it.’ She sent her team down to save us. And then she called her friends who have a home in South Carolina and set us up at the most amazing getaway. This is the day of our wedding!”

It’s handled.

4) But even Martha couldn’t keep Florence Welch from ruining everything at her wedding!

With her dumb sparklers that destroyed Blake’s wedding dress and broke her heart:

Florence Welch was singing at the reception, and they brought out these sparklers, and I’m watching her sing. I look down and my wedding dress has a big burn mark from one of the sparklers. Right on the front! And it was just so heartbreaking to me. And later, my dress was hanging up and Ryan said, ‘Isn’t that beautiful?’ I said, ‘What?’ And he pointed to the burn. My heart just stopped, because it was such a sensitive little subject. And he said, ‘You’ll always remember that moment with Florence singing and the sparklers. You have that forever, right there, preserved.’ Now that’s my favorite part of the dress.”

You hear that? “Preserved…” Could the Florence Welch sparkler incident have provided the inspiration for Blake’s new lifestyle website, Preserve?

5) Blake is totally sick of being a young actress and wants to be an old actress already:

She’s sick of playing boring roles like Serena Van der Woodsen:

“I felt like I had atrophied in a way. We had to produce so many episodes so quickly. And when you’re working fifteen-hour days, ten months a year, the only time you have for real life is between takes. So you’re not really acting anymore. You’re reciting. I could have fought harder and made Gossip Girl something different, but I also needed to have a life, you know? So I wanted a break to figure things out.” Here she slips into a faux-dreamy voice. “What type of prostitute will I play next? Will it be a Wild West prostitute? A prostitute in the future?” She laughs.

And wants instead to play “complex” roles like the super-young mother of super-old Ellen Burstyn in this new movie The Age of Adaline that sounds a lot like Tuck Everlasting. Because aging in Hollywood sounds like so much fun.

Lively herself is often drawn to women of “age and depth and experience.” Not long ago, for instance, Burstyn stayed in Lively’s guesthouse for the weekend. “She’s made what was an old barn into the most beautifully converted old barn in the world,” says Burstyn.

6) So she calls Ryan Reynolds “darling,” like an old-timey actress would do:

It was not immediately verifiable whether she pronounces it “darling” or “dahling.”

Lively also lights up when she talks about recently meeting Jane Fonda—whom she seemed to be channeling at the CFDA Fashion Awards, with her bouffant, hoop earrings, and gilded minidress. “I said to Ryan, ‘Darling, I made a new friend.’ And he’s like, ‘You only make friends with senior citizens!’  ” Why do you think that is? I ask her. “Young people try to heighten their experiences, and I do it, too: This is what makes me interesting. But Jane Fonda is quiet. You know how interesting she is. It’s who she is in every fiber.”

And wants him to be a patriarch:

“He’s going to be a great father and leader and patriarch—he’s so meant to be all of those things.

7) She eats so much! Seriously, guys!

Who even knows how she stays so svelte?

She explains that she is like a perpetual growing boy: always hungry. “You know that old saying, A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach—that’s me.”

This is where it would be great to have a friend go “hahahaaaa.”

Next she orders an eggs-and-sausage feast from room service, which we spread out on the coffee table and promptly devour. How this girl keeps her curves in the right places is a mystery to be solved by another writer.

Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for the next Gwyneth Paltrow.

TIME celebrities

Britney Spears Skips Out On Her Cheesecake Factory Bill

The pop star has a mix up at the restaurant.

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Britney Spears dined out at a local Cheesecake Factory Sunday evening with boyfriend David Lucado and her bodyguard.

When the $30 bill came at the end of their meal, the pop superstar was under the impression that her bodyguard would be taking care of the bill. Conversely, Spears’ bodyguard thought that Spears would be paying for their dinner.

Their miscommunication resulted in them leaving without paying. However, they quickly realized their error and returned to the Thousand Oaks, California restaurant to pay the bill as well as leave their waitress a $100 tip for the error.

The restaurant’s Senior Director of Public Relations, Aletha Rowe, says there are no hard feelings about Spears’ mistake. “Britney dines in our restaurants quite often and is a wonderful guest. We know that this was just an honest mistake.”

TIME celebrities

Orange Co-Star Jason Biggs Apologizes for Malaysia Crash Tweets

Cast member Jason Biggs attends the season two premiere of "Orange is the New Black" in New York
Cast member Jason Biggs attends the season two premiere of "Orange is the New Black" in New York on May 15, 2014. Biggs sparked public outrage after a series of controversial Twitter posts about Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 shortly after it crashed. Eric Thayer—Reuters

The actor who sparked public outrage months ago about flight MH370 has done it again — this time about MH17

A series of tweets by actor Jason Biggs on Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, which was reportedly shot down by a missile in a part of eastern Ukraine controlled by pro-Russian separatists, has caused outrage on social media.

Biggs, who stars in Orange Is the New Black, wrote in a tweet that has since been deleted, “Anyone wanna buy my Malaysian Airlines frequent flier miles?”

While some saw nothing wrong in making what appeared to be a dark joke in response to grim news, many of his nearly 450,000 followers considered the tweet offensive.

Biggs initially responded to critics with a series of profane tweets accusing them of being overly sensitive, “You don’t have to think it’s funny, or even be on my twitter page at all,” he said.

However, he later deleted his initial tweets and offered an apology to his fans, “People were offended, and that was not my intent. Sorry to those of you that were,” Biggs wrote. “This is obviously a horrible tragedy, and everyone — including myself — is sad and angry about it. Sending positive thoughts to the victims and their families.”

The actor, who is best known for his role in the American Pie films, is no stranger to tweeting controversial remarks. In the days following the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 in March, Biggs also triggered outrage with a reference to the missing plane in a tweet about the U.S. reality-TV show The Bachelor.

TIME Music

Johnny Winter, Blues Star, Is Dead at 70

Texan was one of Rolling Stone's top 100 guitarists ever

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Johnny Winter, the Texas blues icon, died in Zurich, Switzerland on Wednesday at the age of 70.

The star guitarist—Rolling Stone named him one of the 100 best ever—was playing till the end, performing his last gig in Austria on Saturday. Since his self-titled album was released in 1969, Winter has recorded and produced dozens of albums of classic rock and blues, including several with his childhood idol Muddy Winters.

A biography on his Facebook page describes Winter as “the clear link between British blues rock and American Southern rock à la the Allman Brothers and Lynyrd Skynyrd.”

“His wife, family and bandmates are all saddened by the loss of their loved one and one of the world’s finest guitarists,” says a post on his page.

TIME celebrities

Chicagoans May Sue George Lucas for Stealing Their Tailgating Space

The Apollo Spring Gala And 80th Anniversary Celebration
George Lucas attends the Apollo Spring Gala and 80th Anniversary Celebration at The Apollo Theater on June 10, 2014 in New York City. Dave Kotinsky—Getty Images

This is not the museum location you're looking for, George

The Windy City doesn’t plan to welcome George Lucas with open arms.

The billionaire Star Wars creator announced June 24 that he plans to build his private museum in Chicago, choosing a location on Lake Michigan over spots in Los Angeles and San Francisco. But a group of Chicagoans has vowed to file a lawsuit to block Lucas from building his $1 billion facility on the grounds that the private museum violates city ordinances designed to preserve the space next to Lake Michigan for public use, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

But Bears fans have joined these public space advocates in objecting to the museum’s planned location for a very different reason. The facility is set to be built close to Soldier Field where the Chicago Bears play and will occupy two of the parking lots currently dedicated to the arena. Bears fans are concerned that the museum is honing in on their tailgating space.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel, who lobbied hard to bring the museum to Chicago, says that he believes the project will survive legal challenges, according to the Chicago Tribune. He assured Chicagoans that no taxpayer money would be used to build the museum and that the 17-acre plot of land is large enough for both the museum and 12 acres of new green space. He also addressed the question of tailgating, giving no details but saying, “We’ve worked that issue out, and [tailgating] will be continued.”

The 95,000-square-foot building will house the director and producer’s memorabilia, examples of his technology and paintings by the likes of Norman Rockwell from Lucas’ personal collection. If plans move forward, the George Lucas Museum will sit on the same campus as Chicago’s many other museums, including the Field Museum of Natural History, the Art Institute of Chicago, the Shedd Aquarium, the Adler Planetarium and the Museum of Science and Industry. It is set to open in 2018.

[Hollywood Reporter]

TIME Crime

Man Breaks Into Kennedy Compound Looking for Katy Perry

Katy Perry performs onstage during "The Prismatic World Tour" at the Verizon Center on June 24, 2014 in Washington, DC.
Katy Perry performs onstage during "The Prismatic World Tour" at the Verizon Center on June 24, 2014 in Washington, DC. Kevin Mazur—WireImage/Getty Images

Maybe he knows something we don't know

A man allegedly broke into the Kennedy compound in Barnstable, Mass. on Tuesday, but he wasn’t looking for a scion of the celebrated political family. He was looking for the the pop singer Katy Perry.

Ted Kennedy Jr. was away at his Connecticut home when he phoned his property in Massachusetts and a stranger answered, police said. Kennedy called the police, who found a black car parked outside the house when they arrived.

Fifty-three-year-old James Lacroix was in the kitchen, wearing a Captain America T-shirt and camouflage shorts, police said.

Lacroix was arrested for breaking and entering, CNN reports. He told the police he had been there for three hours and was looking for the pop singer Katy Perry.

Does Lacroix know something we don’t know, or might he have confused Perry with former Kennedy paramour Taylor Swift? Perhaps we’ll never know.

[CNN]

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