TIME Bizarre

To Have And To Hold (Your Nose)

Hands of bride and groom
Getty Images

A sewage treatment plant near Seattle is advertising as a wedding venue. For a rental fee of $2,000 for eight hours, you get a full catering kitchen, audio and video equipment, dance floor, parking, and uncomfortable proximity to raw waste

A sewage treatment plant near Seattle wants couples to say “I do” next to large volumes of human waste.

The Bridgewater Wastewater Treatment Center is advertising itself as the perfect place to tie the knot on Facebook. It boasts a full catering kitchen, audio and video equipment, a dance floor and plenty of parking. The venue costs $2,000 to rent for eight hours, according to KIRO TV.

True, the nuptials would take place just steps away from where raw sewage is being processed, according to Susan Tallarico, the director of the Brightwater Environmental Education and Community Center. But one couple has already booked the site.

[KIRO TV]

TIME Bizarre

California Teen Reportedly Sold Pot Brownies to Raise Money for Her Prom Dress

Getty Images

Northern California news outlets are reporting that she could face deportation

A California teenager was reportedly selling pot brownies to raise money to buy a prom dress, but got caught when a student who consumed one had to be hospitalized, CBS News reports.

River Valley High School student Saira Munoz of Yuba City was reportedly 18 at the time when she enlisted the help of a friend to help sell marijuana-laced brownies last fall.

CBS Sacramento reports, “A judge sentenced her to four years probation on Monday and nine days in jail with credit for time served.” The station, as well as FOX 40, say questions about her legal status and whether she could face deportation now, according to the Sutter County Probation Department.

MORE: The Rise of Fake Pot

MORE: Colorado Restaurant Introduces Menu with Food and Weed Pairings

TIME Bizarre

Showing of Noah Canceled After Movie Theater Floods

NOAH
Niko Tavernise—Paramount

The Vue Cinema in the UK city of Exeter had to scrap a showing of the biblical epic starring Russell Crowe because of flooding caused by an ice machine gone wild. The mess was later cleaned up and the theater opened, no ark required

Here’s a story you might want to share with people who love making puns about the new Noah film — such as a “flood of complaints,” in reference to the controversy surrounding the movie.

The Vue Cinema in the English city Exeter confirmed to the newspaper Exeter Express & Echo that its first showing of Noah on opening day April 4 had to be canceled because “there was flooding” due to “a fault with an ice machine.”

The staff did not need to find an ark for customers because the problem was reportedly discovered first thing in the morning, so the theater just didn’t open until mid-afternoon.

TIME Crime

Vandals Are Running Amok Flipping Over Smart Cars In San Francisco

It's like cow-tipping, but since there aren't many cows in San Francisco, this is the next best option

Some bored San Franciscans have apparently put a modern, urban twist on the rural pastime of cow tipping. Instead of working together to push over cows, these people are instead flipping over Smart cars.

Sometime late Sunday or early Monday, vandals tipped over three of the tiny vehicles throughout the city, NBC Bay Area reports. Witness Brandon Michael said he was out for a cigarette around 1 a.m. and saw a group of about six or eight people, all wearing hoodies, gather around a Smart car and lift it up. Michael told NBC that the vandalized vehicles remind him of “dachshunds sitting up on their hind legs,” which is a very vivid and poetic description.

No arrests have been made, as police are still investigating.

TIME

Teen Has a Plan to Save the Government $400 Million

Fourteen-year-old Suvir Mirchandani figured that by changing the standard typeface on government documents, the federal and state governments could save hundred of millions of dollars in ink costs

Remembering to pack lunch and catch the school bus on time? Sure, got it. Solving the federal deficit? Um, yeah, maybe.

That’s kind of what a day in the life of 14-year-old Suvir Mirchandani looks like. Mirchandani has figured out that by changing the standard typeface on government documents from Times New Roman to Garamond, the federal and state governments could save up to $400 million in ink costs.

That’s because Garamond uses far less ink than government-recommended fonts like Times New Roman and Century Gothic, according to Mirchandani. He published his findings in the peer-reviewed Journal for Emerging Investigators earlier in March.

With a federal government printing expenditure of $1.8 billion, and state government costs estimated at $1.3 billion, even a slight reduction in ink usage could save hundred of millions of dollars, says Mirchandani.

Other teens, meanwhile, are still changing the font size on periods throughout their papers to hit assignment page-length requirements.

TIME Bizarre

Family Finds Terrifying 16-Inch ‘Ratzilla’ in Their Kitchen

WARNING: it's super gross

+ READ ARTICLE

A Swedish family had to call an exterminator after finding a massive 16-inch “Ratzilla” devouring food leftovers from the trash under the sink. To help, pest control had to bring a heavy duty trap since other traps weren’t big enough.

Even the family cat, Enok, had refused to enter the kitchen while the giant rat was in residence, Erik Korsas, the home owner, told BBC News. Since the incident, the kitchen has been repaired and the family’s cat has not been bothered by rats of any size, Korsas said.

TIME Bizarre

This Teenager Got a McDonald’s Receipt Tattooed On His Forearm

We can only assume he yelled YOLO right before he got inked

We now live in a world where a human being has a McDonald’s receipt tattooed, rather prominently, on his arm.

Eighteen-year-old Stian Ytterdahl of Lorenskog, Norway, decided to get the ink because his friends wanted a way to punish him for “being a little too active with the ladies,” according to local media outlet Romereskes Blad. We’re not really sure what that means, exactly, or how this tattoo serves as punishment, but you know how teenagers are.

Apparently Ytterdahl’s friends gave him the following tattoo options: a drawing of his own butt, a Barbie, or their lunch receipt. We imagine it was a pretty tough call, but the receipt option prevailed. Tattoo parlor Sabelink Tattoo posted the final result on Facebook:

“Now I’m a living billboard,” Ytterdahl told the local paper. “But I think all this is just fun. Maybe it won’t be as fun when I’m 50 or 60 years, but it’s my choice.”

TIME Bizarre

Woman Returns Shoe She Stole from Hulk Hogan Beach Shop

The Michigan woman said she "had done a stupid thing"

A Michigan woman who recently traveled to Clearwater, Fla., home of the Hulk Hogan Beach shop, called the former wrestler’s store on Thursday to say she had done a “stupid thing.” She had stolen one of Hulk Hogan’s autographed shoes and she wanted to give it back.

The recent visitor, and obvious Hogan fan, nabbed the shoe valued at $5,500, but employees didn’t realize it was missing until Tuesday, the Associated Press reports. A TMZ report from Wednesday says three women distracted the manager while a fourth, the admitted bandit, grabbed the boot. Though the thief has left the Sunshine State, she didn’t take the shoe with her. The woman reportedly arranged for the shoe to be returned by people she met while she was in Clearwater.

No charges have been filed.

[AP]

TIME Bizarre

Police Thought This Man’s Gun Tattoo Was Real So They Surrounded His House

In this Tuesday, March 18, 2014, photo, Michael Smith, left, stands beside a Somerset County Sheriff deputy outside his home in Norridgewock, Maine. David Leaming / Morning Sentinel / AP

Workers in the area thought it was the real deal

Maine State Police armed with assault rifles moved in on a man’s house because he was reported to have a gun on him. Turns out he did, but it was a gun…tattoo. You know, just a tattoo of a life-size handgun made to look like a weapon tucked into the waistband of someone’s pants.

The Morning Sentinel reports that a man in Norridgewock, Maine, named Michael Smith was woken up by a tree removal crew trimming branches Tuesday morning.

Shirtless, he went outside and asked the workers to stop. He went back to sleep, but the workers thought he had a gun and called the police.

Troopers surrounded the premises, but once the officers realized the gun was just some ink, they did not file charges.

Lesson learned: always keep your shirt on.

TIME Bizarre

Man Reportedly Gets Revenge on Scammer by Texting Him Shakespeare’s Entire Works

The Cobbe portrait of William Shakespeare (1564-1616), c1610.
Fine Art Images/Heritage Images/Getty Images

An Englishman is trying to get revenge for being scammed by an online seller by texting him the entirety of various William Shakespeare plays after he failed to receive a PlayStation 3 he thought he ordered at a great price

An Englishman is trying to get even with an Internet seller who has not come through with an order by texting him entire William Shakespeare plays to annoy him, The Bristol Post and CNET.co.uk report via SWNS.

Edd Joseph, 24, of Bristol, England, reportedly has yet to receive an £80 PS3 that he ordered from the classifieds website Gumtree. He’s now taking revenge by copying the full text of plays like Hamlet, Macbeth, and Othello, and pasting them into text messages to the seller, which he sends online. So far, he’s texted 22 full plays, which amounts to 17, 424 texts. Joseph claims to have an unlimited data plan.

“If nothing else I’m sharing a little bit of culture with someone who probably doesn’t have much experience of it,” Joseph told The Bristol Post. “I’m not a literary student, and I’m not an avid fan of Shakespeare but I’ve got a new appreciation you could say – especially for the long ones.”

But if he read Hamlet as he was texting it, then he would know that “brevity is the soul of wit.”

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