TIME Crime

Shoplifting Suspect Guilty Beyond the Eyeshadow of a Doubt, Police Say

Brandy Allen
This Wednesday, Sept. 1, 2014 police booking photo provided by Washington County Sheriff's Office shows shoplifting suspect Brandy Allen in Fayetteville, Ark. AP

Crime seems to be written all over her face

If you had to guess from Brandy Allen’s mugshot what crime she was accused of, you probably wouldn’t be too far off.

The Arkansas woman—whose mugshot shows her in aqua and maroon eyeshadow from lashes to brow bone—was accused Monday of shoplifting $144 worth of eyeshadow, according to the Associated Press.

When Allen was confronted after stuffing the makeup into her bag, she unleashed a slew of profanity while attempting to damage the eyeshadow as she pulled it from her purse, so it’d seem the products were used, police said.

But the police didn’t buy it, and Allen was arrested shortly after. The Washington County jail said Wednesday that Allen was released on $830 bond on charges of shoplifting and disorderly conduct.

No word on what color eyeshadow she wore for her release.

TIME animals

43.5 Socks Removed from Dog’s Stomach During Surgery

Sock Eating Dog
This Feb. 2014 photo provided by DoveLewis Emergency Animal Hospital shows socks that were removed from a dogs stomach in Portland, Ore. DoveLewis Emergency Animal Hospital/Associated Press

The dog came in only second in a contest for the strangest objects eaten by pets

After owners rushed their dog to an animal hospital because their 3-year-old Great Dane was retching in pain, doctors noticed something unusual in his X-rays.

The dog’s stomach was full of “a large quantity of foreign material,” which after two hours of surgery—plus time spent carefully counting—turned out to be 43 and a half socks, according to the Associated Press.

A spokeswoman from the Portland, Oregon, animal hospital that treated the dog said the pet is alive and still kicking, and that it was perhaps the strangest case in the hospital’s history, according to The Oregonian.

But apparently it wasn’t strange enough to win the “They Ate WHAT?” contest sponsored by the Veterinary Practice News magazine, which solicits each year entries of the weirdest objects eaten by pets. The Great Dane’s case placed only in second.

The grand prize winner? An exotic frog that had eaten 30 ornamental marbles from its cage.

 

TIME Bizarre

5-Year-Old Girl Was Locked in Washing Machine on High Speed

Texas girl was hospitalized after spending several minutes inside machine

A Texas girl was hospitalized Tuesday after she was locked in a washing machine on high speed for several minutes.

Police in Pasadena, Tex. told local news outlet KHOU that a woman had tried to use the machine but told the manager it wasn’t working properly, then moved to a different machine. The girl was in the machine for several minutes before anyone noticed and opened the machine.

“She was tumbling pretty fast in there,” Vance Mitchell with Pasadena Police. “One person walked by and said they saw something flopping around in there. They thought it was just a dress or something because it was moving pretty fast.”

Police did not say where the girl’s parents or caregivers were, but some police on the scene told KHOU that the child was unsupervised. Paramedics expect her to survive.

[KHOU]

 

TIME animals

Giant Hippo Splashes Into River Thames

Giant Floating Hippo River Thames
Steve Stills

The artist's latest creation following his giant floating rubber duck

Along London’s River Thames are some notable landmarks: the London Bridge, the Millennium Bridge, and now, a giant floating hippo.

The nearly 70-foot-long replica of the water mammal—named “HippopoThames”—is the latest project of Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman, according to CNN. The work was commissioned by the Thames Festival Trust, which had approached Hofman earlier this year to design artwork for Totally Thames, an annual festival celebrating the river.

Hofman, who debuted the “world’s largest rubber duck” last month, is known for his humor, sensation and maximum impact, In line with his artistic vision, HippopoThames was inspired by everyday objects, especially those that time warp people to their childhoods. It’s also designed to force viewers to appreciate public spaces, even after the installations are removed.

“I wanted to use the hippo to get people out of their homes, away from the Internet and the TV, and to explore London with a new perspective,” Hofman told CNN.

HippopoThames will be on display until Sept. 28.

TIME Bizarre

A German Man Was Evicted Because His Sex Swing Was Too Squeaky

A new Swingers club,
Here's an example of one. Rick Madonik—Toronto Star via Getty Images

And you thought your neighbors were bad

It turns out that the only worse thing than having upstairs neighbors who tap dance or have a newborn is living in the same apartment as a man with a very squeaky sex swing (and a very active, um, social life).

A German court ruled Friday that a landlady had the right to evict a tenant who broke his rental agreement of keeping quiet between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m. by using his “very old,” loud, chain sex swing, the Associated Press reports. Neighbors filed numerous complaints since the swing’s 2012 installation.

The court said that by using the swing late at night, it “would no longer correspond to normal rental use, and must therefore not be tolerated as socially acceptable,” AP reports.

[AP]

TIME Bizarre

Woman Finds 50,000 Bees Living in Her Ceiling Because Everything Is the Absolute Worst

501892189
Getty Images

As if NYC apartment living wasn't hard enough

New Yorkers are used to finding all kinds of, er, little critters living in their apartments, but pretty much nothing compares to this. A woman in Elmhurst, Queens, began noticing a few bees buzzing around her apartment over the past few weeks — and then eventually learned that there were 50,000 of them living in her ceiling, local ABC affiliate WABC-TV reports.

Fifty. Thousand. Bees. Living. In. Her. Ceiling. Everything. Is. Awful.

“How did they get there? Where did they come from?” the woman, Frieda Turkmenilli, told WABC. “I was shocked.”

Well, yeah. If this happened to us, we’d totally pull a Nic Cage and be all, “NOOOO, NOT THE BEES.”

Anyway, two beekeepers were recruited to come remove the bees and relocate them — along with the 17 (!!!) honeycombs they managed to build — to a bee farm.

So next time you see a roach scuttling beneath your door or a mouse darting behind your fridge, remember: it could be way worse.

TIME Bizarre

Brooklyn Bridge’s Missing American Flags Are Back on U.S. Soil

Brooklyn Bridge Flags
Members of the New York Police Department scale the Brooklyn Bridge after two high-flying American flags were swiped from atop the Brooklyn Bridge overnight and replaced with two white flags New York Daily News—NY Daily News via Getty Images

Flags being held at U.S. Embassy in Germany

The American flags that were taken from New York City’s Brooklyn Bridge in July are back in U.S. custody, NBC New York reports.

Two German artists who claimed they wanted to pay respect to the architect of the bridge, John Augustus Roebling, swapped the two flags for all-white banners last month. On Friday, the New York Police Department said the nabbed American flags were being held at the American Embassy in Germany.

The artists, identified as Mischa Leinkauf and Matthias Wermke, said earlier they would return the flags. When they pull stunts, they said, they “always face the consequences.”

[NBC]

TIME Crime

This Guy Posed for His Mugshot Wearing a T-Shirt Featuring His Previous Mugshot

Mug Shot T-Shirt
This Aug. 8, 2014 booking photo released by the Somerset County Sheriff’s Department shows Robert Burt, of Pittsfield, Maine. Somerset County Sheriff’s Department—AP

Too meta, or just meta enough?

Back in June, 19-year-old Robert Burt was charged with driving under the influence. When the Pittsfield, Maine, resident showed up to begin his two-day jail sentence this month, he wore a shirt one of his co-workers had so generously made for him following the arrest. That shirt featured Burt’s original mugshot.

Upon arrival, Burt had to pose for a booking photo, resulting in one marvelously meta moment.

Sadly, the second mugshot does not show the entire shirt, which includes a second photo:

We thought Macaulay Culkin was the Meta T-Shirt King, but Mr. Burt here is really giving him a run for his money.

(h/t The Smoking Gun)

TIME politics

Watch John McCain Dance The Robot Like No Politician Has Danced The Robot Before

ABC, we have your next cast members for Dancing with the Stars.

If there was ever a case for Dancing With the Stars: Politicians Special, it was Saturday night’s Apollo in the Hamptons benefit, where showstoppers John McCain and Chris Christie could have danced all night. And if you’re watching the above video of McCain doing the robot with an in-awe Jamie Foxx, you’ll wish they had.

While the Senator pulled off stellar Mr. Roboto moves, getting most literally down in front of high rollers ranging from Bon Jovi to Harvey Weinstein to AmEx CEO Ken Chenault.

Christie, meanwhile, went a little more Electric Slide/Chicken Dance fusion.

“Christie really held his own,” Jack Nicholson told the Post. “I told him, as he walked back to his seat, ‘Governor, you can’t let New Jersey down.'”

Apparently Apollo in the Hamptons is the event of the season. Last year, Foxx reportedly got Colin Powell to sing “Blurred Lines.” While that magical moment wasn’t caught on video, at least we have the former Secretary of State’s DWTS audition tape to make up for it:

TIME Bizarre

Man Un-Ironically Calls Cops to Report Chicken Crossing the Road in Portland, Oregon

Police "were unable to determine the chicken's intent."

A man un-ironically called the Portland, Oregon, police Monday to report a chicken was crossing the road, causing traffic.

“Hi, um this is actually not a prank call,” the man began in his call to a non-emergency dispatcher. “I had to slow down to almost to a complete stop.”

According to the Associated Press, Sgt. Pete Simpson said responding officers could not locate the bird and thus, “were unable to determine the chicken’s intent.”

The Portland Police very ironically posted the call on YouTube:

Whether this is the greatest or worst thing of all time is up for interpretation.

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