TIME Bizarre

A German Man Was Evicted Because His Sex Swing Was Too Squeaky

A new Swingers club,
Here's an example of one. Rick Madonik—Toronto Star via Getty Images

And you thought your neighbors were bad

It turns out that the only worse thing than having upstairs neighbors who tap dance or have a newborn is living in the same apartment as a man with a very squeaky sex swing (and a very active, um, social life).

A German court ruled Friday that a landlady had the right to evict a tenant who broke his rental agreement of keeping quiet between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m. by using his “very old,” loud, chain sex swing, the Associated Press reports. Neighbors filed numerous complaints since the swing’s 2012 installation.

The court said that by using the swing late at night, it “would no longer correspond to normal rental use, and must therefore not be tolerated as socially acceptable,” AP reports.

[AP]

TIME Bizarre

Woman Finds 50,000 Bees Living in Her Ceiling Because Everything Is the Absolute Worst

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Getty Images

As if NYC apartment living wasn't hard enough

New Yorkers are used to finding all kinds of, er, little critters living in their apartments, but pretty much nothing compares to this. A woman in Elmhurst, Queens, began noticing a few bees buzzing around her apartment over the past few weeks — and then eventually learned that there were 50,000 of them living in her ceiling, local ABC affiliate WABC-TV reports.

Fifty. Thousand. Bees. Living. In. Her. Ceiling. Everything. Is. Awful.

“How did they get there? Where did they come from?” the woman, Frieda Turkmenilli, told WABC. “I was shocked.”

Well, yeah. If this happened to us, we’d totally pull a Nic Cage and be all, “NOOOO, NOT THE BEES.”

Anyway, two beekeepers were recruited to come remove the bees and relocate them — along with the 17 (!!!) honeycombs they managed to build — to a bee farm.

So next time you see a roach scuttling beneath your door or a mouse darting behind your fridge, remember: it could be way worse.

TIME Bizarre

Brooklyn Bridge’s Missing American Flags Are Back on U.S. Soil

Brooklyn Bridge Flags
Members of the New York Police Department scale the Brooklyn Bridge after two high-flying American flags were swiped from atop the Brooklyn Bridge overnight and replaced with two white flags New York Daily News—NY Daily News via Getty Images

Flags being held at U.S. Embassy in Germany

The American flags that were taken from New York City’s Brooklyn Bridge in July are back in U.S. custody, NBC New York reports.

Two German artists who claimed they wanted to pay respect to the architect of the bridge, John Augustus Roebling, swapped the two flags for all-white banners last month. On Friday, the New York Police Department said the nabbed American flags were being held at the American Embassy in Germany.

The artists, identified as Mischa Leinkauf and Matthias Wermke, said earlier they would return the flags. When they pull stunts, they said, they “always face the consequences.”

[NBC]

TIME Crime

This Guy Posed for His Mugshot Wearing a T-Shirt Featuring His Previous Mugshot

Mug Shot T-Shirt
This Aug. 8, 2014 booking photo released by the Somerset County Sheriff’s Department shows Robert Burt, of Pittsfield, Maine. Somerset County Sheriff’s Department—AP

Too meta, or just meta enough?

Back in June, 19-year-old Robert Burt was charged with driving under the influence. When the Pittsfield, Maine, resident showed up to begin his two-day jail sentence this month, he wore a shirt one of his co-workers had so generously made for him following the arrest. That shirt featured Burt’s original mugshot.

Upon arrival, Burt had to pose for a booking photo, resulting in one marvelously meta moment.

Sadly, the second mugshot does not show the entire shirt, which includes a second photo:

We thought Macaulay Culkin was the Meta T-Shirt King, but Mr. Burt here is really giving him a run for his money.

(h/t The Smoking Gun)

TIME politics

Watch John McCain Dance The Robot Like No Politician Has Danced The Robot Before

ABC, we have your next cast members for Dancing with the Stars.

+ READ ARTICLE

If there was ever a case for Dancing With the Stars: Politicians Special, it was Saturday night’s Apollo in the Hamptons benefit, where showstoppers John McCain and Chris Christie could have danced all night. And if you’re watching the above video of McCain doing the robot with an in-awe Jamie Foxx, you’ll wish they had.

While the Senator pulled off stellar Mr. Roboto moves, getting most literally down in front of high rollers ranging from Bon Jovi to Harvey Weinstein to AmEx CEO Ken Chenault.

Christie, meanwhile, went a little more Electric Slide/Chicken Dance fusion.

“Christie really held his own,” Jack Nicholson told the Post. “I told him, as he walked back to his seat, ‘Governor, you can’t let New Jersey down.'”

Apparently Apollo in the Hamptons is the event of the season. Last year, Foxx reportedly got Colin Powell to sing “Blurred Lines.” While that magical moment wasn’t caught on video, at least we have the former Secretary of State’s DWTS audition tape to make up for it:

TIME Bizarre

Man Un-Ironically Calls Cops to Report Chicken Crossing the Road in Portland, Oregon

Police "were unable to determine the chicken's intent."

A man un-ironically called the Portland, Oregon, police Monday to report a chicken was crossing the road, causing traffic.

“Hi, um this is actually not a prank call,” the man began in his call to a non-emergency dispatcher. “I had to slow down to almost to a complete stop.”

According to the Associated Press, Sgt. Pete Simpson said responding officers could not locate the bird and thus, “were unable to determine the chicken’s intent.”

The Portland Police very ironically posted the call on YouTube:

Whether this is the greatest or worst thing of all time is up for interpretation.

TIME Bizarre

Brazilian Woman Discovers Her Husband Is Also Her Brother

The two have been together for 10 years

A Brazilian woman on a quest to find her long-lost birth mother recently received the shock of her life: after locating her parent with the help of a radio program that specializes in finding lost relatives, she found out that her husband of seven years was actually the brother she never knew she had.

Adriana and her husband Leandro had known they’d both been abandoned by their birth mothers at a very young age. Adriana, 39, hadn’t seen her mother since she was 1, and Leandro learned at 8 that the woman he thought was his mother was, in fact, his stepmother.

The two got together 10 years ago, after Adriana moved back to her hometown in the wake of a failed marriage, and had a child together; neither of them, however, gave up the quest to find their birth mothers, and last month Adriana reached out to Radio Globo’s The Time Is Now. On air, Adriana’s mother disclosed that she’d also had a son whom she’d left — Leandro.

Adriana apparently told Radio Globo that she and Leandro planned to stay together. “Only death is going to separate us,” she said. “All this happened because God wanted it to happen.”

TIME Bizarre

Man Wins Police-Sponsored Doughnut-Eating Contest and Then Gets Arrested

Yum.

O sweet, sweet sadness! A North Carolina man, Bradley Hardison, was arrested this week shortly after winning a police sponsored anticrime doughnut-eating contest at the Elizabeth City Police Department’s National Night Out Against Crime, Reuters reports.

Hardison, 24, consumed eight doughnuts in two minutes, winning over a group of local policemen and firefighters. A day later he was arrested — apparently, the Camden County Sheriff’s Office had been attempting to interview Hardison (for nine months!) about his connection with two break-ins.

A local report brought Hardison to the attention of Lieutenant Max Robeson:

Robeson said they brought Hardison in for questioning on Wednesday.

“I said, ‘Congratulations on your win last night,'” Robeson recalled, before arresting the man on criminal charges of breaking and entering and injury to real property.

Justice = sweet.

TIME

Plane Makes Emergency Landing After Drunk Passenger Attacks Crew with Prosthetic Leg

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Hip and leg prosthesis Getty Images

She just wanted to smoke her cigarettes in peace!

A plane was diverted Wednesday night after an inebriated woman had the mild mannered response of attacking flight crew with her prosthetic leg after they informed her that not only couldn’t she have cigarettes, but she couldn’t have access to a parachute so that she could leave the aircraft and its stringent rules.

There’s now word if Real Housewives of New York was streaming on the flight to provide her with feud tactic inspiration.

A spokesperson for the Sussex Police released the following statement:

At 10.22pm on Wednesday a 48-year-old unemployed woman from Edinburgh was arrested at the North Terminal, Gatwick Airport, on suspicion of using threatening behaviour while aboard Thompson flight 297 from Tunisia to Edinburgh. The flight was diverted into Gatwick after it was alleged the woman had been abusive and had thrown a prosthetic leg and food at cabin crew.

She was swearing blue murder, saying she was going to do this and that and the other, so the flight was diverted to Gatwick.

Passenger John Smith, 48, described a pretty horrifying scene to the Telegraph.

“She was shouting ‘I want cigarettes’ and that she wanted a parachute to jump off the plane,” he said. “She slapped a young girl and then assaulted the cabin crew with her prosthetic leg.”

The flight was originally expected at its destination at 11:30 pm Wednesday, but it was delayed to 2:30 am Tuesday so that the police could escort the woman off the plane and take statements from passengers.

It kind of makes that plane that was diverted because a woman refused to stop belting Whitney Houston sound pleasant.

[BBC]

TIME Bizarre

British Passport Officials Say Woman Cannot Use the Name ‘Skywalker’ in Signature

Luke And Leia
American actors Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher in costume as brother and sister Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia in George Lucas' Star Wars trilogy, 1977. Terry O'Neill—Getty Images

Her name could be copyright infringement

Authorities told a British woman who tried to add “Skywalker” as a middle name on her passport that she’s committing trademark infringement.

Laura Matthews, 29, legally applied to change her name to Laura Elizabeth Skywalker Matthews “for a bit of a laugh” in 2008, using the famous Star Wars‘ character Luke Skywalker’s moniker, the BBC reports.

When she tried to renew her passport, she wrote her signature as “L. Skywalker.” But passport officials said they “will not recognize a change to a name which is subject to copyright or trademark.” Authorities said she will likely have to submit another passport with a different signature, though with the same printed name.

This was the first time Matthews encountered a problem with her signature. She says that she’s used it on her driving license and credit cards.

[BBC]

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