TIME

This Unaired SNL Sketch Shows That Magical Things Happen When You Reach 10,000 Tweets

“You turned absolutely nothing into tweets”

Much has been made of our tendency to use social media as a megaphone for the most banal, boring and bland events of our lives. A cut sketch from last week’s Saturday Night Live imagines what happens when we bless the world with a milestone number of such trifles.

A Twitter user, played by Aidy Bryant, realizes she’s reached her 10,000th tweet with a remark about how early it gets dark these days. Before she knows it, a troupe of sequined dancers is singing her praises, as Ruth Bader Ginsburg, her seventh grade crush and a white-haired God played by Woody Harrelson extol the significance of her contribution to the world.

She even gets a kiss on the lips from a surprise guest star on set to promote Birdman (hint: it’s not Michael Keaton).

TIME Sports

Watch Canadian Hockey Fans Help Finish the U.S. National Anthem After the Singer’s Mic Fails

This is sure to warm even the iciest hearts

At a Toronto Maple Leafs game Tuesday night, singer Michelle Madeira was partway through The Star-Spangled Banner when her mic cut out. She continued singing, but of course, the crowd couldn’t hear her. Without missing a beat, the entire crowd picked up where Madeira left off, completing the U.S. national anthem in unison.

Fans kept up the enthusiasm and sang O Canada right after.

See? Hockey fans aren’t just drunken and rowdy and prone to fighting. They’re also sometimes really awesome.

(h/t Daily Dot)

TIME movies

Watch the Totally Aca-Awesome Pitch Perfect 2 Trailer

The Bellas are back, and this time they're going for world domination

Unfortunately, we have to wait until May 2015 to see Pitch Perfect 2, the sequel to the 2012 hit about a college women’s a cappella group. That feels like forever. Luckily, though, we now have a full-length trailer to tide us over.

The Barden Bellas are back, and this time they’re heading to an international a cappella competition. No U.S. team has ever won, because, as Elizabeth Banks’ character explains, the “whole word hates us.” But of course, that won’t stop the Bellas from trying.

Fun things in this trailer include: a new a cappella arrangement of Anna Kendrick’s hit song “Cups,” Anna Kendrick making fart noises, gleeful pillow fights, Rebel Wilson being Rebel Wilson and more. So much more.

Read next: Anna Kendrick May Be a Princess, But She’s No Damsel in Distress

TIME movies

Re-Create Raiders of the Lost Ark With Face-Melting Toht Candle

But you'll have to fill in the screams yourself

Now Indiana Jones’ fans can re-create one of the more grisly scenes from Raiders of the Lost Ark with a melting Toht candle.

As the flame burns, the wax face of ruthless Nazi Major Arnold Toht slowly melts off, reports Gizmodo.

In Steven Spielberg’s 1981 movie classic, Major Toht, a sinister SS agent, tries to recover the Ark of the Covenant. But he is ultimately thwarted during an excruciatingly gruesome scene where his face oozes off amid blood-curdling screams in one of the world’s most-famous movie deaths.

“Just light the wick to set the glorious melting process in motion — there’s no need to seek out the Ark of the Covenant and unceremoniously release its supernatural powers,” the candle’s creators Firebox say on their website.

At $31.29, the Major Toht candle comes complete with a black jacket, fedora and glasses.

[Gizmodo]

TIME viral

This Honest Little Mermaid Trailer Takes the Disney Movie to Task

“If by love you mean acting like a clueless mute brat so an older guy will make out with you”

Disney doesn’t exactly have a reputation for making forward-thinking, feminist movies, although some would argue they’re making strides to correct that. And The Little Mermaid, which turns 25 this week, has inspired arguments on both sides of the debate (it’s feminist because Ariel is Eric’s savior, it’s anti-feminist because it praises young, beautiful women while vilifying old, ugly women). This new “honest trailer” lands squarely on the anti-feminist side, taking the movie to task not only for its prioritization of vanity, but also for being “whimsically fascist” and bastardizing the very notion of love.

Renaming the film “The Little Waistline,” the parody joins dozens of others by Screen Junkies meant to “tell you the truth about your favorite movies and TV shows.” They’re more likely to make you laugh, but they just might make you reconsider exactly what it is you’re nostalgic for.

TIME society

Mattel Apologizes for Making Barbie Look Incompetent in Barbie: I Can Be a Computer Engineer

Barbie

The sexist picture book has been slammed online

One of Barbie’s future careers should be in damage control.

Mattel and Random House found themselves at the center of an online firestorm this week when the Internet lampooned a book called Barbie: I Can be a Computer Engineer. A more accurate title would be Barbie: I Can be a Computer Engineer… If the Boys Do All the Work For Me.

Although Amazon lists the book as being published in July 2013, VP of Barbie’s Global Brand Marketing Lori Pantel told TIME that it came was published in 2010 and that “since that time we have reworked our Barbie books.”

On Monday, comedian Pamela Ribbon found the book at a friends house and ripped it to shreds on her blog, inspiring major backlash.

So what did the Twitterverse get in a tizzy about? Although the book’s title would indicate that its fights stereotypes against the tech industry’s gender gap, readers only need only get it to the second page to find out that Barbie is completely incompetent. While she’s capable of conceptualizing a game about a cute robot puppy (gender cliche, but we were ready to go with it — who doesn’t like robot puppies?), Barbie needs boys to actually do the computer programing for her. When Skipper asks if she can see the program, “Barbie says, laughing, ‘I’ll need Steven’s and Brian’s help to turn it into a real game!'” Silly Skipper and your high expectations!

The rest of the book involves Barbie crashing her computer (duh), passing a virus to Skipper (a pillow fight ensues… I mean, really), ignoring her female computer teacher’s advice on how to fix the virus (because if we’ve learned one thing, it’s that ladies should not be trusted with such things), and finally letting brogrammers come to her rescue. While Steve and Brian seem like nice enough guys, they don’t even teach Barbie what to do on her hot pink laptop.

“The portrayal of Barbie in this specific story doesn’t reflect the Brand’s vision for what Barbie stands for,” says Pantel. “We believe girls should be empowered to understand that anything is possible and believe they live in a world without limits. We apologize that this book didn’t reflect that belief. All Barbie titles moving forward will be written to inspire girls imaginations and portray an empowered Barbie character.”

In case they were in need of inspiration, people have been tweeting funny rewrites of the text so that it actually empowers women.

Barbie has been derided for a lot of things — her anatomically impossible figure, for example — but her career goals seemed on track if not admirable. She has been to space and business school But success involves more than just dressing the part. If you pair a doll with a hot pink laptop, she better know how to use it.

Maybe we should all just stick to GoldieBlox, a toy that teaches and encourages girls to do engineering themselves.

Read next: Watch Little Kids React to a Realistic-Looking Barbie Alternative

TIME

Hear Guardians of the Galaxy’s Vin Diesel Say ‘I Am Groot’ in 15 Languages

He may wear it thin, but at least he switches it up

Vin Diesel demonstrated his proficiency as a polyglot back in July, when Marvel released a video of his Guardians of the Galaxy character Groot delivering his signature line in five languages. Now, in time for the movie’s DVD release on Dec. 9, he adds another 10 languages to his repertoire.

In this featurette released by Marvel, the baritone-voiced walking tree says “I am Groot” in Hindi, Kazakh and Hungarian, just to name just a few tongues. Marvel had Diesel learn the line in different languages, rather than hiring fluent voice actors, “to uniquely customize the moviegoing experience for international audiences.”

He may only say three words, but it’s safe to say he’s mastered them.

TIME World

These Maps Show Which Countries Are the Happiest

Costa Rica is number one, according to the Happy Planet Index

If you’re looking for a change of scenery and considering moving to a new country, you may want to consider Costa Rica. According to the Happy Planet Index (HPI), it’s the happiest country on Earth, followed by Vietnam, Colombia and Belize.

These maps, created by MoveHub, show the happiness level of each country across the globe. The HPI is calculated using “global data on life expectancy, experienced well-being and Ecological Footprint.” It’s an “efficiency measure,” ranking countries on “how many long and happy lives they produce per unit of environmental input.”

Check it out:

Happines Index Around the World

As you might have noticed, some of the world’s high-income nations have considerably low happiness ratings, and that’s because many of those countries have high ecological footprints. Also, as MoveHub points out, “the data does not take into account internal inequality measures and human rights issues tied to some countries which are high up in the rankings.” So keep that in mind as you browse the maps. Still, though, we do believe that Costa Rica seems really, really nice.

Read next: The U.S. Is No Longer the Most Popular Country in the World

TIME weather

This Insane Time-Lapse Video Shows Snow Blanketing Buffalo

By Wednesday, more than six feet of snow had fallen

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo declared a state of emergency Tuesday for several counties in the Buffalo area as a severe winter storm brought more than three feet of snow. By Wednesday, more than six feet — six feet! — of snow had fallen in certain areas.

The above time-lapse video, recorded Tuesday, shows the lake-effect storm creeping over the surface of Lake Erie and into the city.

TIME Comedy

Watch Alec Baldwin Give Out Relationship Advice in His New Web Series

His unsolicited counseling sessions take place in a taxi cab

There’s no doubt that Alec Baldwin has made a few mistakes in his life, but he’s learned a few things and wants to share his relationship insights with the world. In a new web series from Above Average, aptly-named “Alec Baldwin’s Love Ride,” Baldwin is taking those valuable life lessons and turning them into (sometimes NSFW) golden nuggets of truth that he is handing out for free in the back of a New York City taxi. As you do.

Aided and abetted by behind-the-scenes advisor (and long-time SNL scribe Paula Pell) in each episode, Baldwin grabs a couple off the street and takes them for a ride, doling out helpful (-ish) relationship advice along the way. First up is Corey and Francesca, an adorable young couple that seems perfectly happy in their relationship, but happy to hear Baldwin’s pearls of wisdom anyway. See another episode here.

 

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