TIME Food & Drink

The Dream Continues for Stephen Colbert’s Ice Cream

The show must end but AmeriCone Dream is here to stay

Let’s make one thing clear right off the bat: I’m a Stephen Colbert junkie. I’ve never missed an episode of The Colbert Report. And I’m pissed he’s ending the show. But at least we get to hold onto one thing when the curtain closes Thursday: Stephen Colbert’s AmeriCone Dream.

Ben & Jerry’s tells TIME that Colbert’s ice cream flavor will stay in circulation after its namesake drops character and heads to the Late Show. “The flavor is not going anywhere,” spokesman Sean Greenwood said.

This is important. When the flavor debuted in 2007, it brought together two great passions of mine—ice cream and Stephen Colbert—into one delicious pint of vanilla ice cream, fudge covered waffle cone pieces and caramel swirl. For ice cream aficionados, it also marked a great improvement from Häagen-Dazs’ Caramel Cone—a richer, heavier taste that only comes from the big guys from Vermont.

And the rollout was pure Stephen, bombastic, arrogant and hilarious in the way only he can be. “Now you can join me internally, as well as externally,” he declared. Noting the liberal affinities of the Ben & Jerry’s guys, Colbert said that “naming an ice cream after me shows they’re finally beginning to bring some balance back to the freezer case.” And when co-founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield told him that country singer Willie Nelson also just got a flavor, Colbert was incredulous: “Willie Nelson has a flavor? What’s in it, shredded tax forms and hash?”

It’s also a much better flavor than Jimmy Fallon’s Late Night Snack—something the two faux-feuded about for months.

AmeriCone Dream also sold quite well, too, raising more than $1 million for charity in the process. “It has been featured in an elite category—one of only three flavors that has been featured in Scoop Shops… quarts, pints, and mini cups,” Greenwood said. “It has ascended breaking the crème-de-glace ceiling of top 10 flavors at Ben & Jerry’s.”

Look, a lot of us are worried about this whole Colbert-dropping-his-character thing. I can’t say for sure whether I’ll be as loyal to the Late Show Stephen Colbert as I was to the faux conservative pundit that, in my mind, will always be the real Stephen Colbert.

But at 11:30 p.m., bummed out by the lack of anything good on TV, at least I’ll still be able to drown my sorrows in a pint of AmeriCone Dream, and hold on to the sweet, sweet taste of liberty.

-Additional reporting by Justin Worland

TIME celebrity

Watch Tina Fey Hilariously Spoof NPR in This 1997 Improv Sketch

Also featuring SNL's Rachel Dratch and 30 Rock's Scott Adsit

Before Tina Fey was the brilliant and famous person we know today, she was a brilliant, un-famous person who performed at Chicago’s Second City theater. In this 1997 clip, unearthed by Splitsider, we get to see Fey playing a public radio host named Lynn Mahevic — years before she became a regular on Saturday Night Live.

The very funny 15-minute sketch is all improvised based on an audience member’s suggestion of “banana.” That alone should indicate how talented the performers are. Along with Fey, you’ll notice fellow SNL alum Rachel Dratch, along with Scott Adsit, who played Pete Hornberger alongside Fey in 30 Rock.

Enjoy!

TIME society

Watch an Insanely Cool Star Wars-Themed Holiday Lights Display

We recommend waving glowsticks—er, lightsabers—as you watch this video

An intricate lights display at a Newark, Calif., home features a 17-foot guitar, a 19-foot piano, all choreographed to songs from the Star Wars films.

According to the YouTube description, this design was orchestrated by Tom BetGeorge, a music teacher at Oakland’s Conservatory of Vocal and Instrumental Arts.

He writes, “If you look closely (especially during the Cantina song) the instruments are playing the real notes!”

If you cannot see it in person, it is supposed to be featured on ABC’s The Great Christmas Light Fight, in which families compete to put on the best Christmas lights display.

TIME viral

Watch Tom Hanks Wannabe Nick Jonas Play the Giant Keyboard at FAO Schwartz

Kind of a 'Big' deal

Singer Nick Jonas had a pretty Big moment at the FAO Schwartz in New York City on Tuesday.

Jonas went to the iconic toy store to sing his hit Jealous while playing the giant keyboard:

“I had to pay homage to the man Tom Hanks,” Jonas wrote on Facebook. Hanks made the keyboard famous in the 1988 movie Big:

There were no reports that Jonas played Heart and Soul as an encore.

TIME celebrity

Apparently Weird Al Does Magic Now

The floating orb is a mystery. Or is it?

In a 16-second video “the mysterious floating orb,” singer-songwriter “Weird Al” Yankovic looks like he is making a metal orb float. He makes “ooooh ahhhh” sounds while he shows off the trick, then reveals that he has been playing with an oversized soup ladle stuffed up his shirt sleeve the whole time. The description of the video on YouTube says he learned the trick from magician and comedian Justin Willman.

Still, if you can get a hold of one of these things, it will probably a fun trick to show off to relatives during the holidays.

TIME Viral Videos

This Impromptu Subway Singalong Will Brighten Your Day

All these commuters want is "A Little Respect"

London subway riders just want a little respect, apparently.

A new video circulating the web not only proves that Aretha Franklin, Rodney Dangerfield and Madonna were right and everyone does want a little respect, but the video also proves that everyone loves Erasure (and “The Circle of Life”) .

Almost exactly a year after Erasure’s first Christmas album came out, the band gave the world a new Christmas miracle by way of a subway rider who got in touch with his inner Vince Clark in the best way possible.

The intrepid and bold London commuter—a local singer named Neil Francis (who admitted to the BBC to having had a few drinks to “wet the whistle”)—belted out a few lines of Erasure’s “A Little Respect” on a crowded North London subway platform. Soon enough commuters up and down the platform were singing along, asking the world at large—or perhaps just the transit authority— for “a little respect” during their travels.

[H/T Death and Taxes]

 

TIME Bizarre

School Punishes Blind 8-Year-Old By Replacing His Cane With a Pool Noodle

Administrators have since apologized

Administrators at a Missouri elementary school punished a blind student for misbehaving on the bus Monday by confiscating his cane and replacing it with a pool noodle so he wouldn’t “fidget.”

North Kansas City School District spokeswoman Michelle Cronk confirmed that the cane—which was “school property” provided to 8-year-old Dakota Nafzinger upon enrollment—was taken after he reportedly used it to strike someone on the bus, a local Fox affiliate reports. Dakota’s father said that his son, who was born blind, sometimes lifts his cane, which might have been misinterpreted as a violent act. The Nafzingers say the school gave Dakota a pool noodle to humiliate him for misbehaving.

“Why would you do that?” Dakota’s mother asked Fox. “Why would you take the one thing that he’s supposed to use all the time? That’s his eyes.”

Dakota said he was told he would use the noodle for two weeks.

Gracemor Elementary School posted an apology on its Facebook page Wednesday.

TIME Sports

Watch Drake Introduce the Toronto Raptors in a Really Drake Way

The rapper was the guest of honor at Wednesday's game against the Brooklyn Nets

Wednesday night was “Drake Night” at the Toronto Raptors’ Air Canada Centre — though in our hearts, every night is Drake Night.

The rapper returned to his hometown as the team’s guest of honor, and his responsibilities included introducing the starting lineup before the game.

It was great because he got really into it, adding weird little jokes about the players. For example: “From Westchester High, a 6’9″ forward, he recently got a tattooo of a Swiffer Wet Jet, number 15, Amir Johnson!”

Then other Drake things happened, like this:

Fortunately, it appears Drake didn’t attempt any three-point shots. The last time he tried that, he totally airballed, and after that, nothing was the same.

TIME Television

Watch Jenny Slate as Marcel the Shell Sing Fleetwood Mac on Conan

"Landslide" didn't take Marcel the Shell (with Shoes On) down

Jenny Slate has many credits to her name: a brief stint on Saturday Night Live, a reoccurring role as Mona-Lisa in Parks and Recreation and a star turn in Obvious Child, but she is perhaps best known for her work as a tiny tiny shell (with shoes on).

The comedian stopped by Conan Tuesday night and used some of her couch time to talk about her creation, the beloved talking snail (?), Marcel the Shell. It turns out that Marcel isn’t just talking anymore, but covering pop songs, too. Slate showed off the shell’s skills by singing a few lines of Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide,” telling Conan O’Brien, “just a little bit because I don’t want you to have to pay.” Stevie Nicks would be so touched.

Slate noted that Marcel the Shell’s voice is “so little, so little,” but as Conan points out the adorable univalve sure has some “big lungs.”

TIME Television

8 Things We’d Like to See from The Colbert Report Finale

Will Colbert reveal he was really Bill O'Reilly in a bodysuit this whole time?

Somewhere in America, a bald eagle is crying.

Thursday, Dec. 18 marks the final episode of The Colbert Report before host Stephen Colbert breaks character and moves to CBS to take over the Late Show. It will be a sad, but undoubtedly epic episode.

“The biggest question of all remains, how will my final broadcast close?” Colbert said recently. “Will I wake up next to Suzanne Pleshette in a snow globe after Rachel gets off the plane to be with me while B.J. Hunnicutt spells out ‘Goodbye’ in the rocks until we cut to black in the middle of a Journey song? Or will I just get sued for copyright infringement?”

As much as we’d like to see a riff on a famous TV show finale, here’s what we really hope is in store for Colbert’s last show:

  1. Stephen Colbert unzips what appears to be a bodysuit and reveals that he was Bill O’Reilly this whole time.
  2. The finale is obviously sponsored by Wheat Thins.
  3. The episode won’t be complete without a musical interlude with Colbert and Alan Cumming
  4. And a very serious speech by Sam Waterston (in a very trustworthy manner)
  5. Colbert interviews David Letterman for his segment, “Fallback Position”
  6. Colbert announces his candidacy for governor of South Carolina
  7. He also announces his imminent hosting gig of the MTV VMAs
  8. The camera zooms out to reveal The Colbert Report on a television in the living room of the Stephen Colbert International Space Station.

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