TIME viral

Watch This Year’s NFL-Themed Edition of Bad Lip Reading

The third in a series imagines what we certainly hope players were saying on the sidelines

“I once got a rake, and I killed a snowman.”

While Dallas Cowboys defensive end George Selvie probably didn’t say that on the sidelines to teammate Anthony Spencer, the above video sure makes it look like he did.

For the third year in a row, the folks at Bad Lip Reading have compiled clips of what NFL players could have said during this year’s season.

Check out the 2014 edition here.

Read next: What Will Katy Perry Perform at the Super Bowl Halftime Show?

Listen to the most important stories of the day.

TIME Business

This Man Is Launching a $3 Million Startup to Catch Bigfoot

Bigfoot hunter Tom Biscardi holds a photo of what he claims to be the mouth and teeth of a deceased bigfoot or sasquatch creature during a news conference Friday, Aug. 15, 2008, in Palo Alto, Calif.
Bigfoot hunter Tom Biscardi holds a photo of what he claims to be the mouth and teeth of a deceased bigfoot or sasquatch creature during a news conference Friday, Aug. 15, 2008, in Palo Alto, Calif. Ben Margot—AP

The renowned Sasquatch hunter is looking to raise $3 million by selling stock in his company

We all have a dream. Carmine “Tom” Biscardi’s is to catch Bigfoot — and he’s hoping you’ll fund it.

Together with his partners, the renowned Sasquatch hunter is looking to raise $3 million by selling stock in his company, Bigfoot Project Investments, the Wall Street Journal reports.

His mission? To “capture the creature known as Bigfoot” according to the company’s filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

But investors beware! This startup is not for the faint of heart.

“This would be the kind of thing where if you believed in Bigfoot, or you thought there really was a Bigfoot and you actually had some money to burn and wanted to play with this, then go for it,” investment guru Kathy Boyle told the Journal.

And Bigfoot purists themselves aren’t exactly thrilled with this venture, which they see “as the crass commercialization of a serious pursuit.”

Still, Biscardi isn’t worried. He maintains a “haters gonna hate” attitude: “When you’re king of the mountain, everybody’s trying to knock you down,” he told the Journal.

Strong words from a man who held a news conference in 2008 claiming he’d found the legendary beast — but it turned out to be a rubber gorilla costume.

This article originally appeared on People.com.

TIME Television

Watch Bill Gates and Jimmy Fallon Hang Out and Drink Poop Water Together

NBC host took a taste test

Bill Gates stopped by The Tonight Show Wednesday evening to talk about the Omniprocessor, a machine that aims to help sanitation issues in third world countries by turning human waste into drinking water — as well as electricity and clean ash.

Gates recently promoted the machine, which his foundation has helped fund, and shared a video of himself testing the water on his blog.

So naturally, the billionaire philanthropist decided to trick Fallon into tasting some of this “poop water” too. He sets up a taste test with two seemingly identical glasses of water and then invites Fallon to choose whichever one he wants. And then things get interesting.

MORE: Watch Bill Gates Drink Water That Had Been Poop Just Moments Before

TIME politics

Watch Larry Wilmore Nail the Secret of Obama’s State of the Union Speech

"Barry got his groove back"

When reviewing President Barack Obama’s State of the Union Speech on Wednesday’s episode of The Nighty Show, host Larry Wilmore noted with glee that “Barry got his groove back.”

The President touted job growth, deficit cuts, and a plan to go to Mars. But why, Wilmore pondered, was Obama so positive? \

“Doesn’t he realize he just lost an historic election, both houses, by historic margins?” he asked. “Even his own party was deserting him? Doesn’t Obama know he won’t be able to get anything done in his last two years?”

What could possibly going on in Barry’s brain?

“Oh wait!” Wilmore exclaimed. “He doesn’t give a f–k. No wonder he’s throwing Mars at us, man. Why not Jupiter, Obama. Jupiter’s got more moons!”

See the full clip below.

The Nightly Show
Get More: The Nightly Show Full Episodes,The Nightly Show on Facebook,The Nightly Show Video Archive

TIME Tech

This Hilarious Parody Ad Imagines What Facebook Would Be Like in 1995

It's a weirdly accurate spoof of an actual AOL commercial

Take a quick trip down memory lane, back to the days of the mid-90s Internet era, with this fake commercial that imagines how Facebook would have been marketed in 1995.

As you might remember from watching The Social Network, the site was originally called The Facebook, until Napster cofounder Sean Parker (played by Justin Timberlake, you go Justin Timberlake) told Mark Zuckerberg to drop the “The” and just call it “Facebook” because it would be cleaner. Well, in 1995, we’d definitely still be calling it The Facebook.

If the video seems at all familiar, that’s because it’s a direct parody of a real AOL commercial from 1995:

 

TIME Sports

Watch a Ball Boy Get Hit Exactly Where You Think He Will

Schadenfreude

A ball boy got hit in the crotch during day 4 of the Australian Open Thursday by a serve from Spain’s Feliciano López during the second round singles match against France’s Adrian Mannarino.

The young man must have been in pain, considering the 12th-seed López once served a 152 mph bullet.

It was a rough game for Mannarino too, who had to retire from the game in fourth set because of what is believed to be heat exhaustion, allowing López to advance to the third round.

MORE: The Women’s World Tennis No. 7 Got Asked to do a ‘Twirl’ By a Male Presenter

 

TIME celebrity

Watch Will Ferrell Throw a Basketball at a Cheerleader’s Face

It's pretty brutal

Will Ferrell took an epic half-court shot during Wednesday’s Los Angeles Lakers vs. New Orleans Pelicans game—straight into a cheerleader’s face.

But don’t worry, it was for a movie. Ferrell was filming for his upcoming role in Daddy’s Home. He stars alongside Mark Wahlberg for the movie coming out later this year.

After the shot, Ferrell was faux-ejected from the stadium:

Read next: Watch Kevin Hart Teach Will Ferrell How to Survive Prison in the New Get Hard Trailer

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TIME apps

Now You Can Turn Your Instagrams Into Fake Tattoos

TIME.com stock photos Social Apps iPhone Instagram
Elizabeth Renstrom for TIME

Picattoo: For people who love their selfies a little too much

Turning your Instagrams into nail art is so passé: There’s now an app that converts your Instas into fake tattoos, because nothing says “I really enjoyed my Crab Cakes Eggs Benedict” like temporarily tattooing it on your forehead.

For $14.99, Picattoo will ship users a 12-pack of “Insta-tats” worldwide. The Netherlands-based service, created by the company Ink361, laser prints users personal Instagrams on temporary tattoo paper. And unless the wearer decides to “scratch it off with rusty nails”—the app’s FAQ section gets a little too real—the product should last up to a week.

For the person who wants to immortalize their cat Instas on more than just their forearms, you can also print your pictures on marshmallows and sneakers.

And after all the time it took for you to pick the perfect filter, your Instagram deserves it.

(h/t: TechCrunch)

TIME People

81-Year-Old Discovers His 61-Year-Old Son Through Long-Hidden Letter

The letter was from a woman claiming to be the mother of the son

Throughout his life, Tony Trapani wanted to have kids.

As might then be imagined, when he met his son for the first time on Monday – Trapani is now 81 – it was quite an experience.

Trapani was cleaning out his Grand Rapids, Michigan, home after his wife’s death when he came across a letter she’d hidden in a file cabinet. Sent in 1959, the letter was from a woman claiming to be the mother of Trapani’s son.

“I have a little boy,” the letter read. “He is five years old now. What I’m trying to say, Tony, is he is your son. He was born November 14, 1953.”

That little boy is Samuel Childress, now 61. Childress said that his mother told him she’d sent the letter to his father but gave up hope of ever hearing from him.

Trapani suspects his wife hid the letter because of their trouble conceiving a child. “Why my wife didn’t tell me,” he told Michigan’s Fox 17. “I don’t know. She wanted children. She couldn’t have any. She tried and tried.”

Childress, who grew up in Pennsylvania, said, “Just to know him now is so important to me. It’s going to fill that void.”

The family plans to have a paternity test performed to make sure of the results.

This article originally appeared on People.com.

TIME Body Image

Target Is Launching a Plus-Size Fashion Line Women Actually Might Want to Wear

"It's good to know that a brand is listening"

In August, blogger Chastity Garner wrote a compelling takedown of Target — announcing her decision to boycott the retailer for failing to offer its popular designer collections in plus sizes.

That boycott is coming to an end.

On Wednesday Target announced Ava & Viv, a new fashion brand designed specifically for “the plus-size woman who loves fashion.” The line, designed by Target’s in-house team, offers clothing in sizes 14W to 26W and X to 4X and will be available online and in stores come mid-February.

The retailer invited Garner and two other plus-size bloggers to its Minnesota headquarters to sample the line. “It looks beautiful on my body type and my shape,” Garner says in a video chronicling their visit.

In spite of its far from perfect relationship with plus-size fashion — Target’s site displayed plus-size offerings on maternity models and described a plus-size dress as “manatee gray” (the “normal” dress was “dark heather gray”) — its strategy thus far with the Ava & Viv line could actually teach other retailers about how to better approach selling plus-sized clothing.

First of all, Target is emphasizing that the clothing line will make trendy design choices a priority.

“This guest is really a fashion-forward woman who happens to be a plus size,” merchandising SVP Stacia Andersen told Women’s Wear Daily. “When we put out pieces that stand out a little more, items that are more chic, more trend-driven and more statement in nature, they tended to perform.”

Even though though the plus-size demographic makes up 37% of U.S. consumers, it only makes up 15% of the clothing industry’s sales because most labels don’t design for the lucrative market, Fast Company reports.

And when they do design plus-size clothing, the available styles are rarely fashion forward.

“I am horrified by some of the clothes I find in the stores,” stylist Sal Perez explained told New York Times when explaining her difficulties in trying to dress Rebel Wilson for her role in Pitch Perfect 2. “I don’t know anyone who enjoys wearing polyester.”

Actress Melissa McCarthy decided to launch a fashion label after interacting with six different designers who wouldn’t dress her for the Oscars.

Target is also selling the clothing at a reasonable price point, between $10 and $79.99. This is a striking contrast to stores like Old Navy, who recently came under fire for charging more for plus-size items.

Marie Claire contributing editor and plus-size blogger Nicolette Mason joined Garner to sample the line and also shared her thoughts in Target’s video.

“It’s good to know that a brand is listening,” she said.

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