TIME celebrities

Emma Stone Loves The Spice Girls So Much It Literally Made Her Cry

And then she sang "Wannabe"

Emma Stone literally broke down into tears when Australian radio hosts 2Day FM gave her a surprise video message from a Spice Girl.

“Oh my God, is Mel B talking to me? I’m going to cry. I’m so excited, I am legitimately crying,” said Stone who was, in fact, legitimately crying. “I am the biggest Spice Girls fan ever.”

Although Mel B had a bone to pick since Stone said that her favorite Spice Girl was Baby Spice — Scary Spice, always the underdog — things ended on good terms. Such good terms, in fact, that Stone decided to bust out and sing Wannabe. All is well in the universe.

TIME Holidays

10 Reasons Not to Celebrate International Happiness Day

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You. (Also, me.) Jamie Grill—Getty Images/Tetra images RF

God I'm exhausted

March 20 is the United Nations’ International Happiness Day, though honestly you could’ve fooled me.

Speaking at a meeting on “Happiness and Well-Being: Defining a New Economic Paradigm” during the sixty-sixth session of the General Assembly, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said the world “needs a new economic paradigm that recognizes the parity between the three pillars of sustainable development. Social, economic and environmental well-being are indivisible.”

It’s a beautiful thought. But one that should not distract us from the fact that the world is a horrible place full of meaningless suffering, a place in which we toil away until we take our last pathetic breath and disappear into nothingness. Everyone—and I mean everyone—dies in their own arms, after all.

Anyway! Here are the top reasons to ignore this “holiday” and stay as depressed, despondent, and downcast as the other 364 days of 2014.

10. Syria.

9. The collapse of the Central African Republic.

8. Female circumcision.

7. This.

6. Also, this.

5. Even cathartic, post-apocalyptic movies are getting boring.

4. Afghanistan is still falling to pieces.

3. Crimea.

2. Disappearing airplanes.

1. You read this article.

TIME Millennials

School Bans Teachers From Using Red Ink Because It’s Too Mean

Rory MacLeod / Flickr

Can students not handle being wrong?

Kids these days, they can’t handle any negativity. Stereotypical millennials always need to be rewarded for their accomplishments whether or not they actually accomplished anything. Now, one school is taking this to heart by banning red ink.

At an academy in the U.K. county of Cornwall, teachers have been instructed not to grade papers in red pen because it is a “very negative color,” vice principal Jennie Hick told the Daily Mail. Green was suggested instead for corrections (the opposite of red, we supposed).

What’s more, teachers are encouraged to write “two or three positive comments” about the work handed in, and students can respond to their teachers’ comments in purple. Wonder what color they’ll write their diary entry in when, as adults, they realize everything is a lie and they are not actually special snowflakes?

TIME viral

This Baby Begins Each Day With a Bruno Mars Dance Party

Forget coffee: clearly this is the best way to wake up

If you have trouble dragging yourself out of bed in the morning, take a cue from this baby who rouses himself from slumber each morning with a little dance session. In this video, uploaded by his parents, baby Christian hears Bruno Mars’ “Runaway Baby” and wakes himself up with some pretty stellar dance moves. He starts off with some basic booty wiggling, eases into a little head-banging, and finally, tops it all off with a flourish of air drums. Clearly this is how we all need to prep ourselves for the day.

TIME Internet

Twitter Launches Easy Tool That Finds Your First Tweet

No scrolling necessary

Twitter has launched #FirstTweet, a tool that helps users find the very first message they sent out using the site–which, of course, means that you might end up seeing a tweet you’d rather not remember. The social-networking service is sharing the service with fans in celebration of the Twitter’s eighth birthday.

The tool is simple: plug in your username and get ready to cringe. Or at least get ready to see how excited you were to tweet about the contents of your lunch in 2009.

Twitter is asking users to share their initial messages using #FirstTweet. To celebrate, we’ve gathered the first tweets of a few notable Twitter luminaries. Enjoy!

TIME Drugs

These Photos Show What the Average Person Who Is Arrested for Drugs Looks Like

As told by GIFs

In an effort to increase substance abuse awareness, Recovery.org decided to compile 100 mugshots from marijuana, DUI, and methamphetamine arrests to see what the average face looks like on drugs.

“While it is unlikely that a user’s basic facial structure depends on the substance they were arrested for, the goal of this project is to expose the effects certain substances might have on a user’s appearance,” the website reads. And what better way to illustrate that than through gifs?

According to Recovery.org, marijuana users tend to have rounder features and a full face, meth users appear gaunt with sagging skin and sunken eyes, and DUI arrestees look … pretty normal.

Here’s a larger version of the final results:

TIME viral

WATCH: The Incredibly Lucky Guess on Wheel of Fortune

He got it right with only 2 letters up on the board

During the bonus round of a Wheel of Fortune episode Wednesday night, Vanna White had only revealed the letters “NE” when contestant named Emil guessed “New Baby Buggy” to correctly solve the puzzle and win $45,000.

The show’s host Pat Sajak said the moment made Wheel of Fortune history:

So lesson learned: first thought, best thought.

WATCH: Pronunciation Fail Costs a Guy 1 Million Dollars on Wheel of Fortune

WATCH: Wheel of Fortune’s Million-Dollar Winner

WATCH: Worst Wheel of Fortune Fail Ever

TIME Crime

Somebody Hit A Man With A Chair For Burping At Taco Bell

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Taco Fuse—Getty Images/Fuse

Mind your manners, people

Remember: It never hurts to listen to your mother and mind your manners, but it can definitely hurt if you don’t.

A 20-year old South Carolina man was reminded of that lesson the hard way this weekend.

Isaiah Morris was eating at noted fine dining establishment Taco Bell on Sunday when another man in the restaurant demanded to know whether he had belched without saying “excuse me.”

While there’s no word on whether Morris actually committed the rude offense, a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun says that when Morris asked the manners-minded man to repeat himself, he instead grabbed a chair and hit Morris on the elbow. The man then grabbed Morris’s throat and tried to head butt him, presumably to remind him to be more polite in the future. That’s when a restaurant worker intervened and told the man to leave.

According to WYFF, police said the man left in what might have been a white pickup truck, but there are no further leads in the case.

[Via The Smoking Gun/ WYFF ]

TIME Food & Drink

You Get a Cup! Oprah Now Has a Starbucks Line

Business Wire

Everybody gets a cup!

Oprah now has her own brand of chai tea at Starbucks and Teavana stores. According to a news release, it has “cinnamon, ginger, cardamom and cloves, blended with loose-leaf black tea and rooibos.”

The blend will go on sale at Starbucks and Teavana starting on Apr. 29. For each product sold, Starbucks will make a donation to the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy Foundation, which funds the girls school that the talk show host started in South Africa.

Winfrey, who first tried chai in India, said in a statement, “I looove tea.” Yep, it says love with three “o”s.

TIME Media

Best Apology Ever: 1-Star Yelp Review Inspires Singing ‘Sorry’

A customer at The Supper Truck dissed the Albuquerque food truck on Yelp. Here's how the owner made things right again.

Bad Yelp reviews can sink a budding business. So when the owner of The Supper Truck read this one-line review of her food truck last summer — “Wholy waste of $30 and an hour to get my food” — she followed up with an apology note. But she never got a response.

The owner, Amy Black, never gave up on wooing the disgruntled reviewer back though. In what is both an awesome apology and a clever marketing move to kick off the spring food cart season, Black commissioned a song by Sage and Jared’s Happy Gland Band to express her regret and offer the reviewer, Vero P., a free fried chicken Bahn Mi sandwich.

Entitled “One Star Review,” the ballad offers an explanation for the long wait (“You came for supper on a really busy night”), a heartfelt apology (“We’re sorry we let you down”), and even resorts to begging (“Don’t let us drown in our own tears”), before concluding:

We’ve tried to reconcile

We’ll go the extra mile

Because we love you

In spite of your one star review

Watch the video above to hear the song in full.

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