TIME Food & Drink

Competitive Eater Devours a 20-Pound Turkey Whole

2014 Nathan's Famous 4th July International Hot Dog Eating Contest
Bobby Bank—WireImage/Getty Images Joey Chestnut wins the Men's Division with 61 Hot Dogs at the 2014 Nathan's Famous 4th July International Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island on July 4, 2014 in the Brooklyn borough of New York City.

Competitive eater Joey Chestnut cleaned 9.35 pounds of meat off of a 20 pound turkey on Saturday, breaking a new record in the field of competitive eating.

Chestnut devoured nearly twice as much meat in 10 minutes as the previous record-holder, Sonya Thomas, who put down 5.25 pounds of turkey meat in 2011, the Associated Press reports.

The legendary gobbler, who scarfed down 61 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win the Coney Island contest this year, polished off the whole bird at Foxwoods Resort Casino in Connecticut. He won $5,000 in reward money, while the remainder of the pot, $10,000, was split among the nine contenders.

[AP]

TIME viral

Watch Fred Armisen Master 10 Different New York Accents

Yes, there is shrugging involved.

New York City’s residents speak as many as 800 languages, but they also speak English in almost as many accents. Or if not quite as many, every neighborhood, at least, boasts its own nuanced version of the New York accent. And Fred Armisen, master of impressions, has mastered them all.

At a fundraiser for Doctors Without Borders, the Saturday Night Live alumnus performed impressions of different New York accents based on audience suggestions, tackling the West Village, Astoria and the Bronx, among others. He also took an anthropological perspective on the accents’ origins. Upper West Siders, for example, are “more appreciative of the things that are around New York,” whereas residents of the Rockaways are “trying to prove something.”

He took his biggest jab at the corner of New York where he himself was raised: Long Island. “They’re trying to prove that they’re not dumb,” he stutters, making ample use of arm gestures. “They’re already being defensive about being made fun of.” And just like that, Armisen reveals the genesis of his career as a comedian: a childhood marked by Long Island-induced insecurity.

TIME Holidays

See How Picasso, van Gogh and Other Famous Artists Would Serve a Thanksgiving Meal

Hannah Rothstein

Turkey, graving and stuffing get a complete makeover in this series by a California-based artist

When it comes to serving a successful meal, everybody knows that it’s all about presentation.

With that in mind, San Francisco-based artist Hannah Rothstein decided to create 10 versions of a similar meal, all in the styles of famous artists. But Rothstein, who makes everything from paintings and illustrations to jewelry and murals, had never worked with food before, so this idea was totally new for her.

“It was kind of one of those out of the blue moments, like a lot of moments of inspiration and creativity,” Rothstein tells TIME. She initially planned to do a series of illustrations imitating different artists’ brushstrokes, but realized that was “incredibly boring” and not particularly creative. But soon, a better idea came to her. “Thanksgiving had been on my mind, so that popped into my head, and I thought, ‘Oh! Thanksgiving food!'”

Rothstein settled on 10 artists who all had distinct and recognizable styles – like Piet Mondrian, pictured above. Some artists’ styles were fairly straightforward to recreate, but others, like Georges Seurat, who’s best known for his use of pointillism, required incredibly fastidious work, Rothstein said.

Want to hang one of these on your dining room wall? Rothstein is selling 25 signed prints of each photo and donating 10 percent of the proceeds to the SF-Marin Food Bank.

“I really love making art and I think bringing beauty into the world is important, but in many ways I find art to be a selfish act,” Rothstein says. “So for this, it made sense to donate to the food bank to help people who couldn’t afford their own Thanksgiving meals to have one.”

Check out all the plates – including an especially surprising one at the end.

Piet Mondrian:

Hannah Rothstein

René Magritte:

Hannah Rothstein

Mark Rothko:

Hannah Rothstein

Vincent van Gogh:

Hannah Rothstein

Pablo Picasso:

Hannah Rothstein

Jackson Pollock:

Hannah Rothstein

Julian Schnabel:

Hannah Rothstein

Georges Seurat:

Hannah Rothstein

Andy Warhol:

Hannah Rothstein

Cindy Sherman:

Cindy+Sherman+Thanksgiving

Read next: These Carpets Map Out Different Countries’ Aerial Landscapes

TIME viral

The Polish Official That Called Winnie the Pooh ‘Disturbing’ Was Maybe Joking

"It is half naked, which is wholly inappropriate for children"

Winnie the Pooh might be the only pants-less character parents happily let around their children, but for one town in Poland, the bear’s unusual wardrobe and his anatomy haven’t gone unnoticed.

Officials in the town of Tuszyn appeared to oppose naming a park after the beloved children’s book character because of his attire, though one has since said that the discussion was in jest, the Associated Press reports.

“The problem with that bear is it doesn’t have a complete wardrobe,” Councillor Ryszard Cichy said in an audio recording of a closed-door meeting that was reportedly leaked to the press, according to the Croatian Times. “It is half naked, which is wholly inappropriate for children.” Another official called Pooh a “hermaphrodite.”

Councillor Hanna Jachimska continued the conversation, suggesting Pooh author Alan Alexander Milne was “disturbing.” “The author was over 60 and cut [Pooh’s] testicles off with a razor blade,” she said, “because he had a problem with his identity.”

Cichy later told a newspaper that he was joking after the official discussion about the playground had gone on too long. At any rate, it’s a good thing the meeting didn’t look too closely at the rest of Pooh’s friends. After all, Eeyore and Tigger are not only pants-less but shirt-free, too.

[AP]

TIME World

Venice Wants to Ban Your Offending, Noisy Suitcase Wheels

Businessman pulling rolling suitcase
Getty Images

Leave your efficient, easy-to-transport wheelie suitcase at home, says the gondola-filled city

Venice’s city council is considering a ban on rolling suitcases in response to residents’ complaints about the loud noise tourists make ambling about the streets with their stuffed racket-makers.

The incessant sound of wheeled suitcases is giving Venetians “serious discomfort” and also leading to the “progressive deterioration” of centuries-old paving slabs, marble steps and foot bridges, the city council said, the Telegraph reports.

Tourists who use rolling suitcases could be fined up to 500 euros ($620), but residents would be exempt from the ban. Luggage equipped with air-filled wheels would be permissible for the city’s 27 million annual visitors.

“The law won’t come into effect until May, so hopefully by then one or two companies might start producing trolley suitcases with air-filled wheels,” said Maurizio Dorigo, the council’s planning director.

[The Telegraph]

TIME Bizarre

Monty Python Song is the Brits’ Funeral Favorite

Baby Boomers in the UK play “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” more than any other track

Correction appended Nov. 22.

Who gets the last laugh? The British, it seems, after a study out Friday revealed that Monty Python’s “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” is the most-played song at funerals in the United Kingdom.

The relentlessly optimistic song was written by Eric Idle and first appeared in Monty Python’s biblical satire Life of Brian in 1979. The song tickled the funny bone of a generation with the juxtaposition of its lyrics—“If life seems jolly rotten, there’s something you’ve forgotten, and that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing”—and the characters singing it in the comedy classic, a chorus of people being crucified on a hillside.

The findings come from a survey of more than 30,000 funerals in the UK by The Co-operative Funeralcare.

The irreverent track pushed out more traditional songs for the No. 1 spot, including “The Lord is My Shepherd” and “Abide with Me.”

The song lyrics do strike a particularly comforting note for a funeral.

For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word
You must always face the curtain
with a bow
Forget about your sin – give the
audience a grin
Enjoy it – it’s your last chance
anyhow.

So always look on the bright side… of death.

Other hit classics to make the Top 10 Most-Played list in the humor category include “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen, “Ring of Fire,” by Johnny Cash, “Bat Out of Hell,” by Meat Loaf, and The Trammps’ “Disco Inferno”—“Buuuurn baby burn!”

Well played, Britain. Well played.

Here’s a video of the folks from Monty Python singing this very song for one of their own.

Correction: The original version of this story misstated the movie in which the song “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” first appeared and the year it was released. It was Life of Brian in 1979.
TIME

This Homer Simpson Statue Made Out of Junk Food Is the Perfect Tribute to Homer Simpson

"Does this make me look fat?"

Some people get a statue, others an honorary plaque. For Homer Simpson, who has for nearly three decades shared with us his low-brow gastronomical obsessions, it doesn’t get any more fitting than a replica fashioned from junk food.

Mandatory.com constructed “The Essence of Homer,” complete with Duff Beer, from gummy bears, powdered doughnuts, licorice, marshmallows, saltwater taffy and pancakes. The video is part of a series called “Fast Food Formations” (they also constructed a football stadium out of Slim Jims and balogna sandwiches), the gluttonous messages of which the site counters with a donation to a charity that aims to end childhood hunger.

There’s no one who deserves his likeness made from doughnuts more than the man who sold his soul to the devil in exchange for a single frosted doughnut.

TIME celebrity

Watch Chris Pratt, Lena Dunham and Other Celebrities Read Mean Tweets About Themselves

The beloved Jimmy Kimmel Live! segment is back with yet another hilarious installment

One of Jimmy Kimmel’s favorite things to do on his show is to recruit a bunch of celebrities to read mean tweets about themselves. They usually read the messages then stare, despondent, into the camera. Or they just laugh. Or they shoot back with an equally mean quip. Either way, the recurring segment is always highly entertaining.

On Thursday’s show, Kimmel rounded up a new batch of A-listers, including Chris Pratt, Lena Dunham, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ty Burrell and more. Even though this is the eighth installment of the recurring gag, it somehow has yet to get old. Of course, that could be because some of these tweets may have been dreamt up by Kimmel’s writers rather than by real-life mean tweeters.

Oh, special shoutout to Chloë Grace Moretz, one of TIME’s most influential teens of 2014, for the solid quip she fires back to a very mean tweet.

Read next: Watch Alec Baldwin Give Out Relationship Advice in His New Web Series

TIME Bizarre

Feel Good Friday: 10 Photos to Start Your Weekend

From snow men to fire breathing, here's a handful of photos to get your weekend started right.

TIME Television

Watch Seth Meyers Make the Perfect Bill Cosby Joke

It's a four-minute sketch that carefully explores the challenges of making light of the rape allegations against Bill Cosby

Late night TV hosts have (understandably) been hesitant to make jokes about the growing sexual assault allegations against comedian, sweater enthusiast and Jell-O pitchman Bill Cosby. But on Thursday’s episode of Late Night, Seth Meyers decided to tackle the topic with something that was more of an elaborate meta-joke than a simple, straightforward quip.

A planted audience member begins pestering Meyers about his take on the scandal and eventually gets fellow audience members to begin chanting “Bill Cosby joke! Bill Cosby joke! Bill Cosby joke!” Meyers eventually gives in, and the audience member soon realizes that he had, uh, misunderstood what the whole scandal was even about.

The four-minute sketch becomes more of a general commentary on why it’s not a good idea for comedians to make light of this issue — and how challenging it is to do so effectively.

Conan O’Brien also made a Cosby joke Thursday night, though his was more of a quick quip thrown hastily into an otherwise unrelated sketch. Watch about two and a half minutes in:

So far, it seems other late night hosts are still hanging back and avoiding the scandal altogether.

Read next: So What Do We Do About The Cosby Show?

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