TIME Crime

Watch: Suspect Leads Police On Wild Chase Through Golf Course

"Fore!"

For some golfers lining up to hit their drives, something as subtle as a sneeze can break their concentration and cause them to hook or slice their shot. So, spare a thought for the golfers of Moorhead, M.N., who had to deal with a high-speed car chase crashing through their course.

As WDAY reports, 33-year-old Kendall Scott Feist had been served with outstanding arrest warrants for drug offenses, but instead of cooperating with police, he took off in his pickup truck.

The ensuing chase took him through the town and across the local golf course, before finally coming to a halt at a shopping mall in the neighboring town of Fargo, N.D.

There were no injuries sustained in the incident, although the golf course suffered extensive damage. Feist now faces felony charges of fleeing police and criminal damage to property in addition to his outstanding drug charges.

TIME animals

Sorry New Yorkers, You Can No Longer Tattoo Your Pets

State legislature passes bill forbidding the tattooing and piercing of pets, after lawmaker spotted "gothic kittens" for sale

New York state lawmakers passed a bill on Wednesday forbidding the tattooing and piercings of pets.

Assemblywoman Linda Rosenthal introduced the animal rights bill in 2011 after she discovered “gothic kittens” with tattoos and piercings for sale online, according to the New York Daily News. The proposal will now head to Governor Andrew Cuomo, who is expected to sign the law.

The bill, co-sponsored by Senator Mark Grisanti, was designed to prevent animals from unnecessary body modification, which many believe is a form of animal cruelty. The only exceptions are piercings for medical purposes and tattoos for medical or identification purposes, according to the bill’s text.

In March, photos circulated online of a dog inked by a Brooklyn tattoo artist.

TIME animals

Discerning Cat Walks 12 Miles Back to Old Home Because He Didn’t Like His New One

Getty Images

Curious George?

A cat ran away and walked 12 miles back to its old home after its owners moved to a different neighborhood in Portland, Oregon, The Oregonian reports.

The new renters reportedly called and said they thought they found the two-year-old tabby named George, which showed up and kept wanting to be pet.

Last year, a tortoiseshell cat named Holly made headlines for trekking 200 miles back home to West Palm Beach, Florida, after running away from the family vacation at a R.V. rally in Daytona Beach. While scientists don’t know for sure how a cat could find its way home from a long distance, they say cats navigate in familiar areas via sight and smell. Patrick Bateson, a behavioral biologist at Cambridge University, told the New York Times, it’s possible that cats can sense “the smell of pine with wind coming from the north, so they move in a southerly direction.”

 

TIME viral

Game of Thrones: The Brady Bunch Remix

It’s just wholesome TV, right?

Classic television is all about family drama, showing close-knit circles of people conflicting with each other then realizing that they love each other after all. Especially if they’re brothers and sisters? On the Will Wheaton Project, the Game of Thrones opening sequence was swapped for that other happy family show, The Brady Bunch.

Apart from all the death and betrayal, it’s an easy transition between the two. Instead of wholesome lyrics, Game of Thrones has “He had hair of gold like his uncle, because of incest,” referencing Joffrey Baratheon, of course, and “Ned was noble, so he died pretty quick,” about the Stark king. In the end, everyone comes together in a big, grimacing grid.

In comparison, here’s the original:

As Leo Tolstoy wrote, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” We might add to that, some families are unhappier than others.

TIME celebrity

WATCH: Tarik and The Roots Perform Amazing Harry Potter Rap on The Tonight Show

It's magical

On The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Wednesday night, Tarik and The Roots performed a rap inspired by Harry Potter.

The late-night host has been doing the show in Orlando this week. He also went to “Ollivander’s wand shop” to buy a magic wand and inevitably turned the entire sketch into one big penis joke.

Universal Orlando in Florida announced Wednesday that the Diagon Alley extension to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park will open on July 8.

PHOTOS: The Harry Potter Theme Park

TIME World Cup

Here’s The “Official” World Cup Condom

DKT International

Looks like Brazil's flag, tastes like Brazil's signature drink.

The world’s biggest condom maker Karex claims its World Cup-themed condom is in high demand at the FIFA tournament in Brazil, The Wall Street Journal reports.

The yellow and green condoms are supposed to look like the Brazilian flag and are supposed to taste like a Caipirinha, the country’s national cocktail made with sugar, lime, and cachaca (a sugar-cane-based Brazilian white rum). The family planning and HIV-prevention non-profit DKT International ordered the condoms, which are being distributed via the brand Prudence, to promote safe sex during the sporting event.

About 700,000 packs of three have been sold since they debuted in February, and an additional 864,000 have been distributed this week, The Wall Street Journal reports. Available in Brazilian pharmacies and supermarkets, each pack costs $1.39.

Condom distribution was also part of a nationwide safe-sex campaign at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa due to the country’s HIV/AIDS epidemic. At the time, FIFA was accused of airing ads for the reportedly higher-cost brand Durex over more affordable brands and repeatedly denied allegations by sexual health charities that it was blocking the distribution of safe-sex materials at the event. Cape Town’s tourism organization put 160,000 condoms in hotel rooms in June 2010. And a local doctor made headlines for working to offer latex condoms with “teeth-like” hooks designed to attach on a man’s penis and fight rape during the tournament.

Earlier this week, Brazilian health officials handed out condoms and tested people for HIV through the UNAIDs program “Protect the Goal” program. Recent articles about the 2014 World Cup have touted Brazil’s HIV/AIDS program as a “model” for other developing countries.

TIME NextDraft

The Redskins Ruling and Other Fascinating News on the Web

June 18, 2014

nextdraft_newsfeed_v2

1. No Scalpers Allowed

We came uninvited. We stole your land. We spread deadly diseases among your populations. We dehumanized your culture and history. And we killed you in large numbers ahead of a long era of treating you as second class citizens. But before you judge us, it should be known that we draw the line at mascots that could be considered derogatory. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office just canceled six of the Washington Redskins’ trademarks after determining that the name is disparaging of Native Americans.

+ This is not the first time the patent office has issued such a ruling. So what exactly does this mean?

+ The times (and public opinions) have changed since those earlier rulings. The NYT’s Upshot wonders whether this is finally the beginning of the end of the Redskins’ team name. In the meantime, they point out that using the now “free” trademark presents a Catch-22: “It’s legal to use the name because a government commission found it disparages Native Americans, but you would then own a [business] whose name disparages a minority group.”

+ Esquire: Yes, a ‘Redskin’ does, in fact, mean the scalped head of a Native American, sold, like a pelt, for cash.

+ And for some history, here’s Michael Tomasky in the New York Review of Books: The Racist Redskins.

TIME politics

President Obama Meets a 17-Foot Talking Giraffe

Mandel Ngan – AFP / Getty Images

Its name is Russell

President Barack Obama checks out a 17-foot-tall, 2,200-pound talking robotic giraffe named Russell on the South Lawn of the White House during the Maker Faire, a showcase of innovation in business, technology, and manufacturing. The commander-in-chief, who jokes about the size of his ears, said he liked the ears on the electric animal created by Lindsay Lawlor of San Diego. He also observed that Russell has a bit of a British accent when it said “that tickles” (dialogue captured below via BuzzFeed):

As the Democratic president stares at the giraffe in the photo below, perhaps he’s wondering whether it can take on a GOP elephant.

Mandel Ngan – AFP / Getty Images
TIME viral

A Duck Stampede May Sound Cute, But It’s Actually Horrifying

See a disturbing number of ducks blocking traffic in Thailand

In theory, a large number of ducks all running and quacking in unison is cute, right? Well, in practice, it turns out that it’s the kind of thing that will likely plague you with Hitchcockian nightmares for two years, minimum.

A Thai YouTube user uploaded the above video that captures the utter chaos of a duck stampede. An estimated 100,000 ducks are just running madly, wildly, uninhibitedly through a Thai street, blocking traffic and leaving psychological destruction in their wake. Where could they possibly be headed, besides straight to your bedroom to murder you in your sleep?

 

TIME celebrity

Billy Joel Wants People to Stop Killing Elephants and Rhinos for Pianos

Billy Joel And Gavin DeGraw In Concert At The MGM Grand
Singer/songwriter Billy Joel performs at the MGM Grand Garden Arena Ethan Miller—Getty Images

The Piano Man has had enough

“Piano Man” Billy Joel has seen an ivory key or two in his day, but the musician has a message to piano aficionados: Stop killing elephants and rhinos to make instruments.

In support of a New York bill that aims to ban illegal ivory trade, Joel posted this message on his website:

To whom it may concern:
I wholeheartedly support the ivory sales ban bill pending in New York State.
I am a piano player. And I realize that ivory piano keys are preferred by some pianists.
But a preference for ivory keys does not justify the slaughter of 96 elephants every day.
There are other materials which can be substituted for piano keys.
But magnificent creatures like these can never be replaced.
Music must never be used as an excuse to destroy an endangered species.
Music should be a celebration of life – not an instrument of death.
Billy Joel

Listen to the piano man, everybody. Elephants are friends not musical instruments.

 

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