TIME Arts

This Doo-Wop Remake of Ellie Goulding’s “Burn” Is Possibly Better Than the Original

Plus, the video features a saxophone that shoots actual fire

Look, Ellie Goulding’s hit song “Burn” is really, really catchy. It’s the kind of song I’d want to use as the anthemic track in a pseudo-indie flick about a ragtag team of very smart but very troubled teens who, in the film’s key pivotal scene, just let it all go and dance their way to finally feeling. Most likely in a field in the middle of the night. Because they’ve got the fire, fire, fire, and they’re finally gonna let it burn, burn, burn.

Right? Can’t you totally picture the scene I’m talking about? But alas, that’s a project for another day.

So anyway, in the meantime, the same folks who brought us a doo-wop cover of Pitbull and Ke$ha’s “Timber” are back, this time with a vintage version of “Burn.” And it’s surprisingly good. Seriously, this might be better than the original. Or maybe I’m just coming from a place of passive-aggression and ennui because I’m pretty sick of the original.

TIME NextDraft

What to Know about the Heartbleed Web Security Flaw and Other Fascinating News on the Web

April 9, 2014

nextdraft_newsfeed_v2

1. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Insecurity

You know that little locked padlock next the address of the site you’re visiting? Apparently, it’s intended to be ironic. Researchers say that about two-thirds of all the servers on the Internet are running security software that has a key flaw — a bug called Heartbleed — that could expose your data. Here’s GigaOm’s Mathew Ingram with everything you need to know about the Heartbleed web security flaw.

+ James Fallows shares the five things you need to do about the Heartbleed bug.

+ WSJ: “The bug exploits a problem in certain versions of OpenSSL, a free set of encryption tools used by much of the Internet. OpenSSL is managed by four core European programmers, only one of whom counts it as his full-time job.”

+ How did Heartbleed become the first security bug with a cool logo?

2. Rock the Vote

Following Afghanistan’s elections, “the leading candidate to replace Hamid Karzai is Ashraf Ghani, a former World Bank technocrat who has a Ph.D. in cultural anthropology from Columbia University, a Lebanese Christian wife.” He’s even done a TED Talk. But the big news out of Afghanistan isn’t just the the election results, it’s the turnout and the security. Even with the threat of Taliban violence, 58% of eligible voters turned out, and security seemed to hold.

3. School Stabbings

A student brandishing two knives is in custody after injuring twenty people at a Pennsylvania high school. He was eventually tackled and restrained by an assistant principal.

+ One of victims of the attack took a selfie from the hospital. The Internet is making a big deal out of that for some reason.

+ “The accident was that I discharged my firearm because I believed an intruder was coming to attack me… The discharge was accidental. Before thinking, out of fear, I had fired four shots.” Things get heated as Oscar Pistorius takes the stand.

4. I Lost Myself

From NPR on our forgotten childhoods, and why memories fade. “Scientists have known about childhood amnesia for more than a century. But it’s only in the past decade that they have begun to figure out when childhood memories start to fade, which early memories are most likely to survive, and how we create a complete autobiography without direct memories of our earliest years.” And while we’re on the topic, why do we mostly remember the bad stuff?

+ Narratively: My Childhood in an Apocalyptic Cult.

5. The Deep

Searchers have detected more signals that could be connected to Flight 370. Here’s the joint Agency Coordination Center chief: “What we’ve got is a great lead. I’m now optimistic we will find the aircraft, or what’s left of the aircraft, in the not too distant future — but we haven’t found it yet, because this is a very challenging business.”

+ How challenging? To get an idea of just how deep the aircraft could be, take a look at this amazing graphic from WaPo: The Depth of the Problem.

6. Font Rushmore

“They were famous before they got together, so that’s how they’re not like the Beatles. It’s more like Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young … You know what — I’ll tell you what they were like. They were like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.” From BloombergBusinessweek: Inside the Design World’s $20 Million Divorce. (I just hope the Dear John letter wasn’t written in Comic Sans…)

7. Rejection Letters

“Kids see that the admit rates are brutal and dropping, and it looks more like a crapshoot. So they send more apps, which forces the colleges to lower their admit rates, which spurs the kids next year to send even more apps.” This year, elite colleges turned away up to 95% of applicants. And it’s getting harder to distinguish between the credentials of those who got in and those who didn’t.

+ “You could take Mad Men: Media, Gender, Historiography, with me, and make your friends wonder exactly how you got your parents to pay for you to binge a show on Netflix.” What exactly do you get when you take a college course on Mad Men? Professor Anne Helen Petersen shares her syllabus.

8. Me, Myselfie, and I

They say that opposites attract. They’re wrong. FiveThirtyEight’s Emma Pierson studied one million matches at an online dating site and determined that, in the end, people may really just want to date themselves. (It’s always nice when big data confirms what you’ve known since you were about eleven)

+ The same part of your brain that screws up your love life also makes you think you can win money at casinos.

9. L’chaim!

Oy, I have such a deal to tell you about. Just in time for Passover, a private equity firm has acquired Manischewitz. For their sake, I hope they celebrated with someone else’s wine.

10. The Bottom of the News

“As it was coupled with the bicycle emoji, I think this was the closest she’s ever come to clicking through to my profile, divorcing Jay-Z, and giving this 17-year-old man from Missouri a chance.” From McSweeney’s: This is the Instagram comment that will finally ignite my relationship with Beyonce. (I think it’s fair to assume that Jay and Bey are NextDraft subscribers.)

+ From ICEE through the present, at long last, here is the history of the Slurpee.

+ InFocus has some great shots from Smithsonian Magazine’s Photo Contest.

+ A message in a bottle arrives after 101 years. That’s a long time to wait for a retweet.

nextdraft

TIME Accident

Try To Watch This Dashcam Video Of A Cement Truck Crash Without Flinching

Miraculously, drivers of both cars walked away with only minor injuries

An A&M University Professor in College Station, Texas, captured heart-stopping video of a cement truck barreling toward his car Tuesday afternoon. The truck driver plowed through a red light, swerved to avoid traffic and lost control, tipping over as he slammed into the car, KBTX reports.

Dr. Guan Zhu installed the dashcam in case he got into an accident, and it’s a good thing he did, since the video helped him recreate what transpired in the blink of an eye. “I could not remember in my memory, a truck is coming,” Zhu said, “and I could not remember exactly how it happened and then the video says that’s how it happened.”

[KBTX]

TIME

Veet Apologizes After Backlash Against Ads Shaming Women for Having Body Hair

Around Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim 2014 - Day 4
Andrew H. Walker—2013 Getty Images

The hair removal company has pulled the ads in question

Yesterday we introduced you to Veet’s newest ad campaign, which proclaimed that having body hair–something that practically all human beings are born with–actually makes you a dude, and we all know there’s nothing worse than being a dude.

As the backlash spread across the web and landed on their Facebook page, Veet decided to yank the trio of ads, which all depict women turning into men as soon as their body hair begins to grow back after shaving. A spokesperson for the company that owns Veet also provided the following statement to Jezebel:

However we are very concerned by any misinterpretation of its tone or meaning, and in the light of the feedback received we have decided to withdraw it. We would also like to apologise for any offense it may have caused. That was certainly not our intention.

(You can read the full statement over at Jez.)

Feminists: 1, Veet: 0.

TIME viral

WATCH: 2 Year Old Has a Lot of Feelings During Her First Car Wash Experience

During her first ride through the car wash, this two-year-old starts out by sobbing and whimpering and pulling a blanket over her head, then winds up feeling positively euphoric when it’s all over. See, that wasn’t so bad!

TIME Arts

George W. Bush’s Paintings of World Leaders Appear to Be Based On Good Ol’ Google Searches

A portrait of Russian President Vladimir Putin, painted by former U.S. President George W. Bush, is displayed at "The Art of Leadership: A President's Personal Diplomacy" exhibit in Dallas
A portrait of Russian President Vladimir Putin, painted by former U.S. President George W. Bush, is displayed at "The Art of Leadership: A President's Personal Diplomacy" exhibit at the Bush Presidential Library and Museum in Dallas, April 4, 2014. Brandon Wade—Reuters

Art critics point out that 30 of the former president's portraits appear to come from casual online searches

Last week, former President George W. Bush unveiled a new collection of paintings, featuring a series of portraits of world leaders, from Vladimir Putin to the Dalai Lama. The inspiration for many of these paintings appears to come from some very casual Google searches.

Art critic Greg Allen pointed out this trend in a blog post, emphasizing the fact that Bush didn’t take advantage of the many resources available to him:

He apparently did not tap the enormous archive of photos, taken by the professionals who followed him every day for eight years, which are contained in his giant library. Instead, it seems, he Googled the world leaders he made such impactful relationships with himself, and took the first straight-on headshot he saw.

The portrait of Vladimir Putin seen above, for example, seems to be based on the very first image that pops up when you Google the Russian leader’s name. Similarly, Bush’s portrait of Israeli politician Ehud Olmert appears to be based on one of the top Google search results for his name:

A portrait of Ehud Olmert, Prime Minister of Israel, painted by former president George W. Bush
A portrait of Ehud Olmert, Prime Minister of Israel, painted by former president George W. Bush. Stewart F. House—Getty Images

The takeaway here? Even George W. Bush relies on Google and Wikipedia to get his work done. Former presidents: they’re just like us!

(h/t The Guardian)

TIME World

These Aerial Photos of Dutch Tulip Fields Are Stunning

They look like carefully coordinated paint swatches

Tulips are lovely from up close, but their real beauty emerges when you zoom out and view the stunning rainbow patchwork created by tulip fields across the Netherlands. Spring has finally sprung.

TIME technology

Vending Machine Tattles on You on Twitter When You Buy a Snack

Now everyone will know about that Twix bar

A hackspace in the UK created a vending machine named Holly that tweets every single time someone gets a candy bar — and names the snacker (although not the snack of choice) by name.

Computerphile/YouTube

Unsurprisingly, the hackers at Nottingham Hackspace have started to rebel.

“We have turned it off in recent weeks because people are arguing with it and getting quite angry that it was telling everybody that they were eating on a regular basis,” hacker James Fowkes told Computerphile in a video interview.

Of course, this isn’t Twitter and vending machine’s first marriage. A vending machine filled with stuffed panda bears in Canada would drop a toy whenever anyone tweeted #HomeTweetHome:

At SXSW, Oreo created a vending machine that customized Oreos based on what flavors were trending on Twitter:

Seeds of Change even created a Twitter-enabled vending machine (#PledgeToPlant) that expelled organic seeds to people who tweeted about where they wanted to help build a better, greener community:

Still, all of these high minded concepts are slightly different than a food shaming vending machine that can’t keep its mouth closed about your latest Twix bar.

Watch the video about the vending machine below:

TIME Bizarre

Showing of Noah Canceled After Movie Theater Floods

NOAH
Niko Tavernise—Paramount

The Vue Cinema in the UK city of Exeter had to scrap a showing of the biblical epic starring Russell Crowe because of flooding caused by an ice machine gone wild. The mess was later cleaned up and the theater opened, no ark required

Here’s a story you might want to share with people who love making puns about the new Noah film — such as a “flood of complaints,” in reference to the controversy surrounding the movie.

The Vue Cinema in the English city Exeter confirmed to the newspaper Exeter Express & Echo that its first showing of Noah on opening day April 4 had to be canceled because “there was flooding” due to “a fault with an ice machine.”

The staff did not need to find an ark for customers because the problem was reportedly discovered first thing in the morning, so the theater just didn’t open until mid-afternoon.

TIME viral

Game of Thrones’ Red Wedding Gets The Disney Treatment

Sorry, Prince Charming!

Game of Thrones’ “Red Wedding” episode has gone down in the annals of cultural history as one of the most jaw-droppingly brutal hours of television ever. Roughly, 1,570 of the 1,579 total killings in the HBO series took place during the episode. So naturally, it’s prime for a Disney makeover.

In the new video, Cinderella and her Prince Charming stand in for Robb Stark and his pregnant bride, eager to share their special day at a celebratory feast with their friends, family and allies in the Magic Kingdom. Those in attendance include Ariel a.k.a. The Little Mermaid with her man, Eric, along with Mulan and Snow White, Sebastian the Crab and various adorable animated mice.

Cinderella’s evil stepmother has other plans though. Despite Ariel doing her best Catelyn Stark-esque impression and delivering heartfelt pleas alongside threats of brutality, no one makes it out alive.

But who’s behind the violence? Spoiler alert: It’s a Disney princess getting in touch with her inner Arya Stark.


“A Magical Red Wedding” (A Disney / Game of… by finandbow

[via The Wrap]

MORE: RECAP: Game of Thrones Watch: Fear Factor

MORE: Game of Thrones Gets Recast as a Battle for the Internet

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