TIME russia

Watch Putin Play Hockey and Score a Suspicious Number of Goals

Russia's president hits the ice in a video showcasing his amateur hockey skills

Vladimir Putin can add unlikely hockey star to his list of accomplishments, alongside being the President of Russia and an oft-shirtless friend to the animal kingdom.

Putin scored six goals and got five assists during an exhibition amateur hockey game in Sochi on Saturday, helping his team claim victory with a ludicrous final score of 21-4. As The Wire notes, it doesn’t look like the other team was trying very hard to keep Putin from tearing up the ice.

The event — which began with a moment of silence for pro-Russian insurgents killed the day before in Ukraine — was part of Russia’s Night Hockey League, a group that helps get ice time for players who have to work during the day.

[The Wire]

TIME Appreciation

Boy Scouts Rescue Ann Curry After She Breaks Her Ankle Hiking

2012 Time 100 Gala
Debra L Rothenberg—FilmMagic/Getty Images

When the NBC journalist sprained her ankle while hiking in New York's Harriman State Park, a New Jersey-based boy scout troop crafted a makeshift stretcher and carried her down a mountain

A Boy Scouts troop’s awesome wilderness skills recently helped them rescue TV journalist Ann Curry.

Yes, really.

The NBC journalist was hiking last month in New York’s Harriman State Park when a New Jersey-based troop found her sitting on the ground, according to a Scouting Magazine blog post. She told them she’d broken her ankle, and they managed to create a splint for it.

Still, though, she couldn’t walk. Their next step was to craft a makeshift stretcher — a totally old school, rustic stretcher made from two strong sticks and a tarp. Only after they got her safely down the mountain did the teens realize they had just rescued a famous, Emmy-winning TV journalist.

This week, Curry tweeted her thanks to the troop:

 

TIME Arts

Barbara Walters Makes a Cameo On SNL to Poke Fun At Herself

Plus, a look back at the many Barbara Walters impersonations throughout Saturday Night Live history

Barbara Walters will retire from The View and from TV journalism in general this week. But first, she stopped by Saturday Night Live‘s Weekend Update desk to have a little retrospective fun.

First, we’re treated to a montage of the show’s many incarnations of Barbara Walters, performed by Gilda Radner, Rachel Dratch, Nasim Pedrad and Cheri Oteri. Then the legend herself appears, declaring it an honor “to see my groundbreaking career in journalism reduced to a cartoon character with a ridiculous voice.”

Walters then takes a few moments to offer four tips to future journalists, including “Develop a signature voice that no one will forget” and “Do not be afraid to ask the tough questions, like, ‘if you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?’ or, ‘your place or mine, Brokaw?'”

Thanks for that, Barbara.

TIME Viral Videos

Here’s a Cruise Ship Playing ‘Seven Nation Army’ on Its Horns

It sounds like, as one YouTube commenter notes, the perfect theme song for an alien invasion

The White Stripes’ most recognizable tune got a nautical remix on Friday as the MSC Magnifica celebrated its “harbour birthday.” Instead of blasting Britney Spears to ward off Somali pirates, perhaps cargo ships could learn a lesson here and start playing this surprisingly ominous-sounding cover to stay safe in dangerous waters.

TIME Holidays

100-Year-Olds Moms Share Insights On What It Means to Be a Mother

In honor of the 100th anniversary of the first Mother's Day

This Mother’s Day, why not take some advice from three women who’ve been moms for a very, very long time?

In honor of the 100th anniversary of the holiday, Mashable sat down with three centenarians to discuss what motherhood means to them. The women reflect on the great parts of being a mom along with the hardest parts — like raising children during wartime.

“When you see your kid go away, and then you see the papers with the casualties,” Sadie Adler says. “It was shattering.”

Adler also offered the following advice to today’s parents: “Listen to your children and treat them as a grown-up.”

TIME

All The Stats You Need To Know About Your Mom On Facebook

Poke her a Happy Mother's Day!

In honor of Mother’s Day, the data science team at Facebook decided to forego the stereotypic gift of flowers and give users something far more unique: Statistics about the moms of Facebook. Here’s what you need to know about the moms that like your status updates (but who also really wish you’d take less photos with red party cups):

There are 27 million U.S. women who identify as mothers on Facebook. Their age breakdown is as follows:

Facebook

The average mother’s age on Facebook is 47. The average age of women who said they had a baby since last Mother’s Day, however, is 30.

Facebook also looked at the average percent of moms on Facebook across the U.S. Wyoming, West Virginia, Iowa, South Dakota and Idaho have the highest percent of moms, while New York, California, Virginia, Hawaii and New Jersey have the lowest:

Facebook

Facebook also knows that the baby bird often leaves the nest — this graph shows that the distance between women who declares themselves as mothers and their children increases as children grow older:

Facebook

The highest upward move typically occurs when children reach college age or are finding their first jobs in their 20s. Things stabilize in their 30s and ramp up again in their 40s. “Maybe this time it’s mom who’s moving as she reaches retirement age?” Facebook’s Carlos Diuk speculates in a blog post about the data.

TIME Arts

Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama Deliver a Special Passive-Aggressive Mother’s Day Address On SNL

The bitterness is directed not toward their moms, but toward each other

To kick off Saturday night’s episode of Saturday Night Live, Michelle Obama (played by Sasheer Zamata) and Hillary Clinton (played by Vanessa Bayer) came together to deliver a Mother’s Day message.

“You know, both of us have been called so many things,” Clinton says. “It’s nice to have one day where the first thing that we’re called is mom.”

The women seem to be in good spirits, but soon their address devolves into a sort of tense proxy war of quietly calculated insults.

“What Barack and I are really proud of are giving the gift of health care to 8 million Americans,” Obama says. “You know, which is funny, because I tried to give them that gift 16 years ago, so it’s more like a regift,” Clinton responds, prompting Obama to shoot back, “But we actually delivered it.”

They continue their address by acknowledging the challenges of being a working mother. Clinton, however, thinks she knows just a bit more about this, since she spent years crisscrossing the globe dealing with humanitarian crises. “You know, but I suppose it’s also tough to make a chubby kid eat an apple.”

TIME Family

Here’s Proof People Love Their Mothers More Than Their Girlfriends

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Flowers and mothers day card Getty Images

People search for flowers more on Mother's Day than they do on Valentine's Day

We’re not saying American consumers have an Oedipal complex, but the data shows that when it comes to flowers, Mother’s Day is bigger than Valentine’s Day.

Over the last 10 years, more people searched for “flowers” on Google around Mother’s Day than did for Valentine’s Day, according to recent Pew research.

PEW

Those search habits just might translate to purchasing habits. While the National Retail Federation said consumers were keeping their budgets “in check” for Valentine’s Day, the organization described families as planning to “shower mom with gifts” for Mother’s Day.

Americans spent a total of $17.3 billion on Valentine’s Day this year, according to the NRF, with 37% of participating consumers buying flowers. The group forecasts that on on Mother’s Day this year, Americans will spend a total of $19.9 billion, and that approximately two-thirds of those celebrating will buy their mothers flowers.

Moms will always have the trump card.

TIME

Celebrate Mother’s Day With These Photos of Adorable Baby Animals and Their Moms

Happy Mother's Day from the animal kingdom

This Sunday is Mother’s Day, so hope you didn’t forget to get your mom a present. If you did (or even if you didn’t), redeem yourself by clicking through this gallery, which shows some of the cutest baby animals out there doing some mother-baby bonding.

TIME NextDraft

Why Apple Wants Beats and Other Fascinating News on the Web

May 9, 2014

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1. Rapper’s Delight

Now we know why Dre’s mom always wanted him to be a doctor… Unless you’ve had your headphones cranked up all day, you’ve heard that Apple is close to acquiring Beats for $3.2 billion (the same amount Google paid for Nest and about $16 billion less than Facebook paid for Whatsapp). Even though the deal is not official, pretty much every tech and business writer on the planet has shared their theory on why Apple wants the headphone manufacturer and music service streamer founded by Jimmy Iovine and Dr. Dre. (It’s the streaming. It’s the cool factor. It’s a hedge in case iTunes flops. It’s Jimmy.) The truth is likely a mix that samples from all those theories.

+ Is it really a done deal? Dr. Dre sure seems to think so (NSFW unless you’re wearing headphones). But does the deal really make Dre a billionaire?

+ The Verge: The epic visual history of Beats by Dre.

+ Wired: 9 of the world’s most outrageously expensive headphones.

2. Can’t Sugarcoat This

“It was in the off-season, out on the baseball field, that some residents noticed a change. Base-stealers were lethargic. Pitchers were losing their aim. In the evening, outfielders were burning up as if standing under the scorching sun of the day.” Over the past decade, more than 20,000 people in Central America regions — where workers spend long days cutting sugar cane — have died from a kidney disease that’s so poorly understood, it doesn’t even have a name.

3. Weekend Reads

“I remember just shaking my head and thinking, ‘No one is going to believe any of this story is true.'” Skip Hollandsworth updates the story on the unusual Bernie Tiede (a murderer made famous by the movie Bernie) who has been released from prison and might end up sleeping in director Richard Linklater’s garage apartment. And here’s Hollandsworth’s original Bernie story from 1998: Midnight in the Garden of East Texas.

+ Did you know that we’re still paying for the Civil War? From the excellent Michael Phillips: Veterans’ Benefits Live On Long After Bullets Stop.

+ “A decision is made: tubes are connected, machines whir into life, pumps shuffle back and forth. Ice-cold fluid flows through your veins, chilling them. Eventually, your heart stops beating, your lungs no longer draw breath. Your frigid body remains there, balanced on the knife-edge of life and death, neither fully one nor the other, as if frozen in time.” Turning you into a popsicle could help you overcome life-threatening injuries. (Reading this gave me freeze-brain.)

+ Victims of domestic violence are often moved to secret locations for their safety. And these days, that means that their online identities and activities need to be completely hidden as well.

4. Who Will Protect Them?

According to a report from Amnesty International, “the Nigerian authorities were warned in advance that the militant group Boko Haram was en route to snatch more than 250 schoolgirls and failed to prevent the raid.” Those are the same authorities that waited a couple weeks before establishing a “fact finding committee.”

5. Going Against the Grain

From NPR: “Psychologists have known for a long time that people in East Asia think differently, on average, than do those in the U.S. and Europe. Easterners indeed tend to be more cooperative and intuitive, while Westerners lean toward individualism and analytical thinking.” Can all these differences be traced back to which grains we chose to grow?

+ Kale is a major growth crop. So when planning for the future, leave extra time for chewing.

+ Kale not your thing? Maybe you’d be more interested in 13 spliffy jobs in the marijuana industry.

+ FastCo: The hidden psychology of ordering food online. (Hint: You make up for it in volume.)

6. Toll Lane

Why is the FCC ditching Net Neutrality? As Josh Harkinson explains, it has something to do with revolving doors and buckets of cash. So all we need is door stop and a bigger bucket.

7. Noah’s Arc

In the naming world, Noah just overtook Jacob as the most popular baby name for boys. I haven’t seen a leaderboard of names that Jewish since my Hebrew school ping pong tournament.

+ Brooklyn is a popular name for baby girls. Unless you’re in Brooklyn.

+ And of course, names from Game of Thrones are getting more popular. (Though Joffrey remains an outlier.)

8. Johnny Ratings

The NFL did great numbers on its heavily promoted draft night. In part this is because football is huge. And in part it’s because everyone was wondering what would happen with Johnny Football.

+ “High, knotted calves, with pretty gd. thickness through the thighs and bubble.” Ever wonder what an internal NFL scouting report looks like? This is how the Patriots feel about Johnny Manziel.

+ Think the NFL draft is a high pressure night for players and teams? That’s nothing compared to the highly trained team that must personalize jerseys in minutes.

9. Should They Choke the Chicken?

In Britain, there is a growing scandal related to the “Halal” chicken being used by a popular pizza chain. (“Halal meat has to be prepared in standards that make it acceptable for Muslims. To do this, the animal must have its blood drained from it, as Muslims are prohibited from consuming animal blood … this is done by slitting the animal’s jugular while it is still alive.”) WaPo’s Adam Taylor takes you inside Britain’s odd and oddly interesting Halal pizza scandal.

10. The Bottom of the News

Before you get too excited about Mother’s Day this weekend, you should probably know that its founder ultimately fought to have it abolished.

+ Once again, InFocus shares the photos of the week.

+ The World Bank “dug into their Web site traffic data and came to the following conclusion: Nearly one-third of their PDF reports had never been downloaded, not even once.”

+ And get ready for a show called Selfie.

nextdraft

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