TIME

Surprise: Your Friends Hate Your Facebook Relationship PDA 

epSos.de / Flickr

The more PDA, the more hate.

You’ve probably seen “relfies” on Facebook and Instagram. The latest update of the selfie trend signifies a selfie of your relationship—a shot of you and your significant other, possibly both doing your best duck face. That term comes from a study carried out by Professor Benjamin Le of Haverford College in Pennsylvania dissecting the social politics of Facebook relationships.

By analyzing the profiles of Facebook users who are in relationships as well as charting the reactions to fake profiles that were set up to mimic relationships, the study found that oversharing about your partner might make others “think your relationship is going well, they will like you less,” Le writes in Science of Relationships. “Those disclosing a lot about their relationships were the least liked.”

“Viewers can glean your relationship quality relatively accurately from what you post about your relationship on Facebook,” Le explains. So whether it’s going well or badly, your friends know. Relfies actually improve others’ perception of your relationship, just remember your friends will also hate you for your social media PDA. Proceed with caution.

TIME

Soccer Player Luis Suarez Just Bit Someone Again, So Here Come the Inevitable Memes

Naturally, they include plenty of vampire imagery

Uruguay’s star striker Luis Suarez bit another player during his team’s game against Italy Tuesday. If that surprises you, it shouldn’t — he’s already been suspended twice for the same thing.

When Suarez broke skin once again — this time biting Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini — it revived the beloved Internet tradition of Suarez meme-making. As doctored images of the star footballer begin to circulate across the web once again, check out some of our favorites:

 

TIME Books

Review: Top Model Alum Tackles iPhone Addiction and Social Media in New Book

Unfriending My Ex (And Other Things I'll Never Do) by Kim Stolz
Unfriending My Ex (And Other Things I'll Never Do) by Kim Stolz Scribner

Kim Stolz sheds light on what anyone with a Facebook page and a smartphone likely already knows

There are two things the world really doesn’t need more of: former reality stars with book deals and screeds about how technology and social media are undermining our humanity.

But both are bound to keep happening, and if you’re determined to read up on the topic, Kim Stolz — otherwise known as “the gay one” from the fifth season of America’s Next Top Model — isn’t a bad choice for a guide. The author of the new book Unfriending My Ex (And Other Things I’ll Never Do) must have serious social media self-promotion skills if we’re still talking about her almost a decade later, right? (Kidding — Stolz has had an impressive career beyond Top Model: she’s the vice president of equity derivatives sales at Citigroup, a former MTV News correspondent and a co-owner of the currently closed New York City lesbian bar-restaurant The Dalloway).

As a writer, Stolz is non-judgmental (she admits to Googling herself and once almost checked her phone during sex), self-aware (she knows she has no business comparing her iPhone detox to Thoreau’s Walden) and sometimes pretty funny (she gives the real-life people in her book code names from Beverly Hills, 90210). So it’s too bad the book is short on the groundbreaking insight promised by the effusive back-cover praise from Pulitzer Prize-winning author Michael Cunningham. Yes, we know we can’t put down our phones at the dinner table. Yes, Facebook has made the definition of “friend” a little fuzzy. Yes, technology can make romantic communication a war zone, and, yeah, social media is just one big performance. Oh, and people sometimes embarrassingly text the wrong person? You don’t say!

Mixing personal anecdotes with social science research can be a compelling way to understanding human behavior, but it often feels forced in Unfriending My Ex. Stolz has experience writing for MTV and other outlets, so journalistic ambitions aren’t a stretch, yet when she drops studies and statistics into her stories, it comes across like a cursory attempt to justify bad behavior, rather than truly explain it. Stolz often quotes other writers and journalists, too, which isn’t so much a problem of originality as it is an issue of timeliness—the Times’ Jenna Wortham wrote about Facebook resisters and FOMO back in 2011, so when her work is referenced here, the book’s themes (to say nothing of its Candy Crush shout-out) feel dated.

In the very first chapter of Unfriending My Ex, Stolz talks about her self-imposed technology hiatus and the difficulty she had staying focused while reading a book. It’s a relatable struggle, sure, but it’s also a little ironic: there’s not a lot in this book that will keep you from wanting to check your phone, either.

TIME World Cup

Boys To Men: World Cup Stars Then and Now

Portuguese superstar Cristiano Ronaldo wasn't always tanned and coiffed. Take a look back to before World Cup superstars were, well, superstars.

TIME World Cup

Uruguay Through to Knockout Round by Skin of Suarez’s Teeth

Uruguay's star striker apparently sunk his fangs into Italy's Giorgio Chiellini, casting a shadow over his team's 1-0 victory

Maybe Luis Suarez is really crying out for a dentist. He’s got some overbite, obviously.

Suarez is the Uruguayan star with a Dracula-like penchant for biting opponents—he’s been suspended twice for it, once in 2010 and again in 2013. This time, on the World Cup stage, he apparently got his choppers into Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini in front of the Italian goal, in a scene witnessed by everyone except the referee.

A minute later, his teammate Diego Godin used the legal part of his noggin to head a corner kick past Italian keeper Gianluigi Buffon to give the South Americans a 1-0 win. Italy had already been reduced to 10 men because of a red card for a non-biting foul.

Uruguay now advances to the round of 16, although that could likely be without Suarez—unless they bring a muzzle.

TIME celebrities

Before She Was Miss Piggy, This Muppet Went By Another Name

A hand-written note from Jim Henson.
A hand-written note from Jim Henson. Nate D. Sanders

A piece of Muppets history can be yours

She’s known for crushing hard on Kermit the Frog, but Miss Piggy had a love life long before any amphibian stole her heart.

A 40-year-old hand-written note and set of Polaroids from Muppets creator Jim Henson, all currently being auctioned off, feature “Piggy Lee” and her love interest, Hamilton Pigg. “She is delicate and lovely,” Henson writes. “He is cigar smoking — the epitome of grossness.”

The documents are from 1974, the year Piggy Lee and other early versions of Muppets made an appearance on an Herb Alpert television special. The guest spots were so well-received that the Muppets quickly got their own show, which premiered two years later.

And the rest, as they say, was interspecies romantic history.

TIME World Cup

Spanish World Cup Team’s Plane Struck by Bolt of Lightning

As if the defeated champions' World Cup wasn't bad enough already

The Spanish soccer team had an unfortunate end to an unfortunate World Cup.

On the flight home from an early — and embarrassing — elimination Tuesday, the team’s plane was struck by lightning when it was about to touch down in Madrid. According to Iberia airlines, no one was injured and the aircraft went unharmed.

No word on if the players’ hair was impacted.Australia v Spain: Group B - 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil

Santi Cazorla of Spain looks on during the National Anthem prior to the 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil Group B match between Australia and Spain Jeff Gross—Getty Images

[Reuters]

TIME animals

Woman Climbs Into Lion Cage to Feed Them Cookies

A lion at the London Zoo plays with a football in honor of the 2014 World Cup kick off in London on June 12, 2014.
A lion at the London Zoo plays with a football in honor of the 2014 World Cup kick off in London on June 12, 2014. Terry Scott—Demotix/Corbis

Oh my!

The Memphis Zoo has banned a woman for life because she jumped the barrier of the lion enclosure to feed them cookies, the Associated Press reports.

Last week she was caught throwing objects into the exhibit, according to a zoo spokesperson. After climbing the barrier, she started singing to the wild animals about how much she missed them.

“I’ve never seen someone singing to a lion before,” witness Michelle Beasley told WMC Action News 5. “It was really loud.”

MORE:You Can Name These Baby Lions

LIST: West African Lion and 8 Animals That Are on The Verge of Disappearing Forever

TIME

5 Weird Facts About the World Cup

Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo of Real Madrid reacts during the UEFA Champions League final between Real Madrid and Atletico de Madrid at Estadio da Luz stadium in Lisbon on May 24, 2014. Jean Catuffe—Getty Images

From Kim Kardashian to island nations, here are some of the weirdest facts about the World Cup

1. The Solomon Islands has the world’s highest Google search volume index for “World Cup.”

Yes, this tiny archipelago northeast of Australia—its team isn’t even in World Cup this year—is Googling “World Cup” like crazy. Next are Vanuatu, Liberia, South Sudan and Sierra Leone.

2. Meanwhile, a small Oregon town called Sheridan boasts the highest search volume index in the U.S.

This tiny city with a population of roughly 7,000 is beating out giants like New York, Los Angeles and Miami.

3. Americans were the least excited about the event, and Indonesians were the most.

In the days leading up to the World Cup, the U.S. placed last in a global survey about levels of excitement surrounding the tournament. Only 11% of Americans were very excited, while Indonesians posted the highest excitement rate.

4. Fast food and beer are dominating World Cup ads for Hispanic viewers.

For the World Cup’s second week, the top advertisers on Univision—a Spanish-language TV network—have been McDonalds and Budweiser. Meanwhile, Microsoft and Bacardi are dominating ads on ABC/ESPN, which are English-language.

5. On average, Kim Kardashian is way more popular than Cristiano Ronaldo—and she’s as popular as the World Cup itself.

According to worldwide Google data since 2004, interest in Kim has been nearly as high as Cristiano during the 2010 and 2014 World Cups. While Cristiano’s and the World Cup’s popularities spike every few years, Kim rules the Internet during off-season. And believe it or not, the Internet’s average interest in Kim is as high as that of the World Cup.

 

TIME relationships

8 Signs He’s Cheating on You in the Year 2045

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Broken heart drawn in chalk Neil Overy—Getty Images

Load this handy list onto your retinal implant before it's too late

Excerpted from the November 2045 issue of Galactic Girl.

Tech-literate ladies and savvy galactic girls aren’t impervious to the wily ways of an un-evolved male partner. We may live in a matriarchal utopia now, but that doesn’t mean your man is totally faithful. Though the only way to know for sure if your significant other is cheating on you is to hack into his neural net to access his thoughts, there are some subtler hints that might shed some light on the truth.

Here are 10 signs he’s cheating on you (probably with a sex robot).

1. The chip he’s had implanted into his arm as an activity tracker logged intense physical activity during an hour he was supposedly “in a client meeting.”

2. His drone is always mysteriously hovering over the flirty neighbor’s house.

3. Your robot maid accidentally just addressed you as “Stacey.”

4. There’s an extra scoop of Soylent missing.

5. His top Snapchat friend is a sentient RealDoll.

6. There’s a lipstick smudge on the sheets of your Mars shuttle’s bunk.

7. He almost never takes off his Oculus Rift.

8. He used the teleporter prettttty late last night.

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