MONEY workplace etiquette

What to Say to a Colleague Who’s Been Fired

Robert A. Di Ieso, Jr.

Q: What should I say to a colleague who has just been fired?

A: People often don’t know what to say, so they say nothing at all, says Judith Martin, the Miss Manners etiquette columnist and author of Miss Manners Minds Your Business.

No doubt it’s awkward, but by not acknowledging the situation you’re actually making it more awkward. “Getting fired is a traumatic experience but it’s even worse if your colleagues suddenly shun you,” says Martin.

Instead, offer your support with a simple “I’m sorry” or “Let me know how I can help.”

Don’t try to make light of the situation. Gratuitous statements such as ‘you’ll find something terrific’ or ‘you’re better off—we have to stay and now we’ll all have extra work’ aren’t helpful, says Martin.

You should also refrain from bad-mouthing the person who fired your co-worker or gossiping in the office about what happened. That won’t help your ex-colleague – or you. There may be a very good reason the person was fired, and you’ll only hear one side of the story.

If you had a good relationship with your former colleague, make plans to take her out to lunch and give her an opportunity to vent. If you feel confident in her work, offer to be a reference or write a letter of recommendation. Share names of contacts or recruiters who may be helpful.

“Who knows,” says Martin, “maybe the person will land a fabulous job and be able to help you down the road.”

MONEY Millennials

10 Places Millennials Are Moving For Bigger Paychecks

140918_CAR_MillennialsMove_NewOrleans
With 5.1% unemployment and low-priced homes, New Orleans is a top town for millennials. John Coletti—Getty Images

Over the past five years, Gen Yers have decamped for some surprisingly pricey cities in search of a higher-paying job.

Millennials are on the hunt for high-paying jobs, and they’re moving to some unexpected places to find them, according to a new report out today.

Bruised by the rough post-recession job market, Gen-Yers are moving from lower-cost cities to places with a higher cost of living but more plentiful and lucrative jobs, a RealtyTrac analysis of Census data from 2007 through 2013 found.

“Millennials are attracted to markets with good job prospects and low unemployment, but that tend to have higher rental rates and high home-price appreciation,” says Daren Blomquist, vice president of RealtyTrac. “It’s a tradeoff.”

In the 10 U.S. counties with the biggest increase in millennials, the average unemployment rate is 5.2%, well below the national average of 6.1%. The average household income is $62,496, vs. $51,058 nationally. The median home price is $406,800 (nearly double the U.S. median of $222,900), while a three-bedroom apartment rents for $1,619 a month on average, just over the national average of $1,550.

Riding the robust job market in the D.C. area, two counties in Northern Virginia with unemployment rates below 3.7% top the list. But not all places that the 69-million-strong millennial generation are flocking to are expensive. New Orleans, where the median home price is $140,000, edged out San Francisco, where tech jobs may be plentiful but the median home price is nearly $1 million.

New Orleans, where the unemployment rate is 5.1%, is a transportation center with one of the busiest and largest ports in the world, as well as tons of jobs related to the local oil refineries. Denver, Nashville, and Portland, Ore., all top 10 areas, offer median home prices below $300,000 and a diversity of jobs in technology, health care, and education.

Perhaps the most surprising millennial magnet: Clarksville, Tenn, the fifth largest city in the state behind Nashville, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. Forty five miles north of Nashville, it benefits from spillover from that city’s strong job market, but Clarksville also has its own industrial base, plus nearby Ft. Campbell and Austin Peay State University. The unemployment rate: 4.7%.

Here are RealtyTrac’s top 10 destinations for millennials on the move:

Rank County State Metro Area % Increase in Millennial Population, 2007-2013 Milennials % of Total Population, 2013 Median Home Price, April 2014 Average Monthly Apartment Rent (3 beds), 2014
1 Arlington County Va. Washington, DC 82% 39% $505,000 $1,996
2 Alexandria City Va. Washington, DC 81% 34% $465,000 $1,966
3 Orleans Parish La. New Orleans 71% 30% $140,000 $1,190
4 San Francisco County Calif. San Francisco 68% 32% $950,000 $2,657
5 Denver County Colo. Denver 57% 33% $270,000 $1,409
6 Montgomery County Tenn. Clarksville 46% 31% $128,000 $1,016
7 Hudson County N.J. New York 44% 31% $330,000 $1,643
8 New York County N.Y. New York 43% 32% $850,000 $1,852
9 Multnomah County Ore. Portland 41% 28% $270,000 $1,359
10 Davidson County Tenn. Nashville 37% 29% $160,000 $1,131
MONEY Ask the Expert

The Right Way to Tap Your IRA in Retirement

Q: When I do my IRA required minimum distribution I take some extra money out and move it to a taxable account. Good idea or bad idea? Thanks – Bill Faye, Rockville, MD

A: After years of accumulating money for retirement, figuring out what to do with “extra” money withdrawn from your IRA accounts seems like a nice problem to have. But required minimum distributions, or RMDs, can be tricky.

First, a bit of background on managing RMDs. These withdrawals are a requirement under IRS rules, since Uncle Sam wants to collect the taxes you’ve deferred on contributions to your IRAs or 401(k)s. You must take your distribution by April 1st of the year you turn 70 ½; subsequent RMDs are due by December 31st each year. If you don’t take the distribution, you’ll pay a 50% tax penalty in addition to regular income tax on the amount that should have been withdrawn.

The size of your required withdrawal depends on your age and the account balance. (You can find the details on the IRS website here.) If you’re over 59 ½, you can take out higher amounts than the minimum required, but the excess withdrawals don’t count toward your future distributions. Still, by managing your IRAs the right way, you can preserve more of your portfolio and possibly reduce taxes, says Mary Pucciarelli, a financial advisor with MetLife Premier Client Group.

For those fortunate enough to hold more than one IRA, you must calculate the withdrawal amount based on all your accounts. But you can take the money out of any combination of the IRAs you hold. This flexibility means you can make strategic withdrawals. Say you have an IRA with a big exposure to stocks and the market is down. In that scenario, you might want to pull money from another account that isn’t so stock heavy, so you’re not selling investments at a low point.

You can minimize RMDs by converting one or more of your traditional IRAs to a Roth IRA. Roths don’t have minimum distribution requirements, so you can choose when and how much money you take out. More importantly, you don’t pay taxes on the withdrawals and neither will your heirs if you leave it to them. You will owe taxes on the amount you convert. To get the full benefit of the conversion, consider this move only if you can pay that bill with money outside your IRA. Many investors choose to make the move after they’ve retired and their tax bill is lower. Pucciarelli suggests doing the conversion over time so you can avoid a big tax bill in one year.

Up until this year, you could avoid paying taxes on your RMD by making a qualified charitable contribution directly from your IRA to a charity. The tax provision expired in December. It’s possible Congress will renew the tax break, though nothing is certain in Washington. Meanwhile, if you itemize on your taxes, you can deduct your charitable contribution.

As for the extra money you’ve withdrawn, it’s fine to stash it in a taxable account. If you have sufficient cash on hand for living expenses, you can opt for longer-term investments, such as bond or stock funds. But be sure your investments suit your financial goals. “You don’t want to throw your asset allocation out of whack when you move the money,” says Pucciarelli. Consider a tax-efficient option, such as an index stock fund or muni bond fund. That way, Uncle Sam won’t take another big tax bite out of your returns.

Do you have a personal finance question for our experts? Write to AskTheExpert@moneymail.com.

MONEY workplace etiquette

How to Work With a Boss You Can’t Trust

Trophy with "Best" in "Best Boss" engraving crossed out
Scott M. Lacey

Q: My EVP is a serial liar. He never takes the blame when something is wrong, and instead, he completely throws people under the bus. If something goes right, he takes the majority of the credit. What can I do? – Brad, Atlanta

A: As infuriating as your boss’ behavior is, you want to be measured and strategic in your response.

“There are people like this in every company,” says Stacey Hawley, founder of Credo, a compensation and talent management firm and author of Rise to the Top. “If you complain about your boss to someone else, you just look like you can’t handle the situation. If you want to be in leadership position, you have to know how to deal with people like this.”

Four tactics that can help:

Make it tougher for your boss to lie

When sending emails or memos with important updates and accomplishments related to a project, copy all of the key people involved. Let everyone know that if there are questions, you’d be happy to be the point person. Ask other team members to submit updates, too.

“It’ll be harder for your boss to take credit if everyone is in the loop on what’s going on,” says Hawley.

Address mistakes head on

When a problem crops up—and your boss complains to a higher up, or blames you or a team member for the mistake—avoid the temptation to clear your name.

“The boss has egg on his face and is trying to manage his reputation by casting blame elsewhere, ” says Hawley. “You’re not going to improve things if you make an accusation. Some things you just have to let go.”

She suggests scheduling a meeting with your boss for the sole purpose of discussing the error: how it happened, how you can fix it, and how you can keep it from happening again. Your boss may have legitimate reasons for thinking you caused the error and you can clear that up, says Hawley.

The key thing, no matter who caused the error, is to make sure that you focus on solutions.

Play to the boss’s ego

Should your supervisor take credit for your work in a meeting or in front of others, speak up. “You need to make it clear you played a role, but be sure to give him credit, too,” says Hawley. “Your boss may be acting this way because he perceives you as a threat, so you want to take the threat off the table.”

You might say something like, “Bill, that was a great idea you had to do X. I was glad that it gave myself and the team an opportunity to do Y.” This also allows you to acknowledge other people who contributed to the project, so that you don’t end up being perceived as a credit thief by those who report to you!

Make friends in high places

Your boss shouldn’t be the only one who knows about your work. “You need to develop relationships with other higher-ups who can advocate for you,” says Hawley.

Build these relationships by asking senior people for advice on a project you are working on, sharing with them positive feedback from clients and customers, or inviting them to lunch or for a coffee to discuss ideas you have to advance your company’s goals.

Best case scenario, you’ll be on the corner office’s radar when it comes time to replace your slimy supervisor. But at the very least, you’re ensuring that your bad boss doesn’t sink your future prospects at the company. “You can turn this situation around and make it a chance to grow your own career,” Hawley says.

MONEY Jobs

The 15 Highest-Paying Jobs That Don’t Require a College Degree

A bush plane performs take off in Alaska with Chugach Mountains in the Background.
You don't need a college degree to make this your workplace. Chris Boswell—Alamy

Not every lucrative job demands years of study. For these, a high school diploma (and some training) will do.

Conventional wisdom holds that earning a bachelor’s degree is the best path to a stable job that provides a livable income, but not every high-paying job requires a four-year college education.

In fact, 345 out of the 787 occupations listed by the Bureau of Labor Statistics in their 2012 to 2022 employment projections report require only a high school diploma. In 45 of the fields, the median wage is above the national median of $51,058 a year, according to an analysis by the research engine FindTheBest.

However, while many jobs don’t demand a bachelor’s degree, a number of the best-paying ones call for additional training. Elevator installers and repairers, for example, earn a median income of $76,650 a year but have to complete an apprenticeship before entering the field full-time. Commercial pilots who handle charters, rescue operations, and aerial photography flights need a license from the Federal Aviation Administration. Nuclear power reactor operators must be licensed by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

What’s more, many of the best-paid positions are growing more slowly than the average 11% growth rate for all occupations for 2012 to 2022—or even shrinking. Postal workers, for example, earn a median of $53,100 a year, but the number of mail carriers, mail sorters, and clerks is forecast to decline by 28% by 2022.

But for a handful of these professions, the outlook is healthy. That includes elevator installers and repairers, who are expected to increase their numbers by nearly 25% by 2022, and transportation inspectors and construction and building inspectors, all fields that are forecast to grow at double-digit rates.

Here are 15 professions you can enter with a high school diploma and still earn above the median U.S. income. You can use FindTheBest’s tool to sort through more jobs by projected growth, median pay, and education required.

Rank Job Category Median Annual Pay Projected Job Growth, 2012 to 2022
1 Supervisors/Managers of Police and Detectives $78,270 4.9%
2 Elevator Installers and Repairers $76,650 24.6%
3 Nuclear Power Reactor Operators $74,990 0.5%
4 Detectives and Criminal Investigators $74,300 2.0%
5 Commercial Pilots $73,280 9.4%
6 Power Distributors and Dispatchers $71,690 -0.9%
7 Supervisors/Managers of Non-Retail Sales Workers $70,060 -0.8%
8 Media and Communication Equipment Workers $68,810 -1.5%
9 Power Plant Operators $66,130 -10.8%
10 Business Operations Specialists $65,120 7.4%
11 Transportation Inspectors $63,680 11.2%
12 Electrical Power Line Installers and Repairers $63,250 8.9%
13 Subway and Streetcar Operators $62,730 6.5%
14 Petroleum, Refinery and Pump System Operators and Gaugers $61,850 -5.1%
15 Gas Plant Operators $61,140 -8.8%

 

MONEY best and worst jobs

The 10 Worst-Paying Jobs that Require a Master’s Degree

Librarian helping patron with book question
Hill Street Studios—Getty Images

Thinking about going back to grad school to pursue one of these careers? You might want to think again.

More education doesn’t always translate into more money.

Research engine FindTheBest recently analyzed median pay for hundreds of jobs in the latest Bureau of Labor Statistics employment projections report, and found that a master’s degree is no guarantee of high pay.

In fact, in a handful of professions that typically require a master’s degree, average salaries are below the U.S. median income of $51,058.

Figuring in the cost of a graduate education, it’s questionable whether entering these low-pay professions that typically require a graduate degree makes economic sense. Here are the 10 worst paying jobs that typically require a master’s degrees, according to FindTheBest:

1. Rehabilitation Counselors

Median Pay: $33,880

What They Do: Help people manage and overcome mental and physical disabilities so they can work and live independently. Counselors work in many settings, including schools, prisons, independent living facilities, rehabilitation agencies and private practice. Note: Though employment of rehabilitation counselors is expected to grow faster than average for all occupations, pay isn’t keeping up.

2. Mental Health Counselors

Median Pay: $40,080

What They Do: Help clients develop strategies to manage emotional disorders and improve their overall wellbeing. In addition to a master’s degree, counselors typically need a license to practice.

3. Survey Researchers

Median Pay: $45,050

What They Do: Design surveys and collect and analyze data to understand people’s opinions and beliefs. Survey researchers work for research firms, polling organizations, nonprofits, corporations, colleges and universities and government agencies. Some survey researchers only have a bachelor’s degree but more technical positions require a master’s.

4. Marriage and Family Therapists

Median Pay: $46,670

What They Do: Provide counseling to couples and families, and treat mental health and substance abuse problems. Most have a master’s degree and must have at least two years of clinical experience and a state license.

5. Curators

Median Pay: $49,590

What They Do: Manage a collection of items for an institution. Most commonly, they work with art or historical items for museums, but curators can also work in galleries, zoos, and botanical gardens. Most curators have an advanced degree in their field of specialty.

6. Archivists

Median Pay: $47,340

What They Do: Collect, organize and manage items that have historical value. Archivists commonly work (not surprisingly) in archives as well as libraries. Most have a master’s degree in the field related to their work.

7. Healthcare Social Workers

Median Pay: $49,830

What They Do: Work with individuals and families to provide support for coping with chronic, acute and terminal illnesses. They work in clinics, hospitals, senior living facilities and mental health institutions. Though most social workers only need a bachelor’s degree, a master’s degree, at least two years practical experience and state licensing is required to work in a clinical setting.

8. Historians

Median Pay: $52,480

What They Do: Research, analyze and interpret past events by studying historical information. Historians work in government agencies, museums, historical societies, research organizations, nonprofits and even consulting firms. Most positions require a master’s degree, but some research positions also require a doctorate.

9. School and Career Counselors

Median Pay: $53,610

What They Do: Help students develop social skills and succeed in school. Career counselors focus on helping students make career or educational program decision. School counselors work in public and private schools. Career counselors work in colleges, government agencies, career centers and private practices.

10. Librarians

Median Pay: $55,370

What They Do: Help people find information and conduct research for personal and professional use. Librarians work for local government, colleges and universities, companies and elementary and secondary schools. Most librarians have a master’s degree in library science, but some positions require a teaching credential or a degree in the field they specialize in.

MONEY Kids and Money

The Surprising Thing Gen Z Wants to Do With Its Money

Teen in front of home
Getty Images

More than half of teens would give up social media for a year and do double the homework if it guaranteed they’d be able to buy a house when they're older.

During the Great Recession, home ownership took a beating as the ideal for the American dream. The median home nationally lost a quarter of its value, prompting adults of all ages to adopt other elusive goals—like retiring on time for boomers or working on their own terms for millennials.

Just 65% of Americans own their home, down from 69% pre-bust. And four out of five Americans are rethinking the reasons they’d want to buy a house in the first place. But Generation Z—also known as post-millennials, born after the 1990s Internet bubble— seems to prize home ownership like no generation since their great-grandparents.

An astounding 97% of post-millennials believe they will one day own a home; 82% say it is the most important part of the American dream, according to a survey of teens age 13 to 17 by Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate. More than half would give up social media for a year and do double the homework if it guaranteed they’d be able to buy a house.

This yearning stands in starkest contrast to the aspirations of millennials, older cousins who pretty much created the sharing economy and in large numbers prefer to rent. The housing bust and foreclosure epidemic scarred millennials, probably for life, as some watched parents and neighbors lose everything. In a key part of this generation—heads of households age 25 to 34—renters increased by more than 1 million in the years following the crisis, while the number who own a home fell by 1.4 million.

Post-millennials saw the carnage, too, though at a tender age that left them more confused than traumatized. Where millennials hardened and vowed never to repeat the errors of their parents, post-millennials sought the comfort of family and togetherness, says Sherry Chris, CEO of Better Homes and Gardens. “Many of these Gen Z teens were 7 to 11 years old when the recession hit,” Chris said. “At that age, children equate home with stability.”

The innate quest for stability leads them to prize a family home above things like going to college, getting married, having children, or owning a business, according to the survey. And the dream appears firmly grounded in reality. Chris observed that today’s teens have more information than any previous generation at their age and show early signs of financial awareness. Asked for an estimate of what they might spend on a house, the 97% who aspire to be owners gave an average response of $274,323—strikingly close to the median home value of $273,500.

Half say they know more about money than their parents did at their age. Two-thirds attribute their knowledge of money matters to discussions in the home, and two in five credit discussions in school. Three in five teens have already begun saving, the survey found. Post-millennials, on average, aim to own a home by age 28—three years earlier than the median age of first-time homebuyers reported by the National Association of Realtors.

These are encouraging findings. A home remains most Americans’ single largest asset, and while the housing bust will have lingering effects, home prices nationally tend to rise every year—and have been trending up again the past few years. Not all of the news is good: Only 17% of post-millennials believe stocks are the best long-term investment; half prefer a simple savings account, TD Ameritrade found in a survey that defines the generation as slightly older (up to age 24).

But the TD survey also found that post-millennials have half the post-college credit card debt of millennials. And the Better Homes survey suggests that our youngest generation is at last learning more about money at an early age, which is the goal of a broad public-private financial education movement. A generation of financially adept youth who begin to save and gather assets that will grow for four or five decades is the surest way to avoid another meltdown and solve the retirement savings crisis.

Related:
Why Gen X Feels Lousy About the Recession and Retirement
Our Retirement Savings Crisis—and the Easy Solution

MONEY Kids and Money

Ace a Personal Finance Game, Win a College Scholarship

H&R Block is the latest financial firm with a program to teach kids about money. This one can earn students a college scholarship.

As the financial industry has worked to restore its image since the meltdown six years ago, one popular approach has been underwriting financial education programs aimed at teens and young adults. Tax preparer H&R Block unveiled its salvo on Monday, offering $3 million in college scholarships to high school students who ace an online budget game.

Block joins a bunch of national and regional banks from Bank of America to Key and FirstBank that sponsor some kind of financial education program. Credit-card company Visa and accounting giant PwC have made big commitments to youth financial education. The result of this broad push has been a disparate and often questioned effort to teach young people practical money skills while the financial industry nurses a badly damaged reputation.

Block is not a bank or credit company. It never sold anyone an exploding subprime mortgage. Still, when the company began looking around for a signature cause it landed fairly quickly on financial education for youth. “It’s appalling how clueless many teens are about money,” says Block CEO William Cobb.

He makes no apologies that Block’s “budget challenge” is as much about smart marketing as it is about helping teens get smart about money. The challenge concludes on Tax Day, April 15. But Cobb says educating high school kids about student loans and more is also “the right thing to do” and is “at the emotional center” of what the company stands for.

In a recent PISA assessment spanning 18 countries, the first of its kind, American 15-year-olds were found to be just average in terms of money know-how. Numerous other studies have shown that young people have a flunking knowledge of things like compound growth, inflation, taxes, investing and budgets.

Block’s program is built around an online game that simulates real world decisions. It is designed as part of a class with a teacher augmenting lessons that adhere to the Jumpstart Coalition’s standards for youth personal finance instruction and the Council for Economic Education’s standards for financial literacy.

The carrot for high school students is a college scholarship. The first challenge will begin Oct. 3 and last for nine weeks. Five more challenges will run through mid-April next year. Students need about 30 minutes to set up their profile and about 30 minutes per week after that in order to compete.

Students who score well by making smart decisions about insurance, retirement saving, fees, unexpected expenses and more may win as much as $20,000 toward college tuition. There will be 132 such awards along with some prize grants for teachers and classrooms—and one grand prize scholarship of $100,000 going to the top student across all six challenges.

The Block program appears both fun and engaging. Participants will have access to a real-time leader board to see where they stand and, Cobb says, winning isn’t as simple as just choosing the most conservative options. As in life, things are constantly changing. Kids will need to figure which trade-offs make the most sense in this simulated world of money so that, maybe, one day they’ll be good at it in the real world.

Related:
3 Mistakes That Will Cost You a College Scholarship
How to Get Full Credit When You Swap Colleges

MONEY Ask the Expert

5 Strategies for Finding Meaningful Part-Time Work In Retirement

140605_AskExpert_illo
Robert A. Di Ieso, Jr.

Q: I want to find part-time work to bring in extra income when I retire next year. But I don’t want to be a greeter at Walmart. How do I find a job that’s meaningful but still flexible enough for me to enjoy my retirement life?

A: Working in retirement has become the new normal. Nearly three-quarters of workers 50-plus say their ideal retirement will include working, according to a survey by Bank of America Merrill Lynch and Age Wave. But they also want a job that is flexible and fulfilling. Some 62% of working retirees said staying mentally active was the most important reason to work vs just 31% who said they simply needed the money.

“A lot of people are in the same boat. They need to bring in some income and are happy to work but don’t want to go from a professional career to something mindless or boring,” says Tim Driver, CEO of RetirementJobs.com. Still, it’s often challenging for an older worker to find that combination. If you can, start the hunt while you’re still working and your skills are up to date—that way, you can leverage your current contacts. Here are five more tips to consider:

Look to your employer. If you like what you do and want to still use your professional expertise, a natural place to start is with your current employer, says Nancy Collamer, a career coach and author of Second Act Careers. “It might be possible to downshift into a part-time or seasonal schedule, freelance or be on-call as an in-house temp.” For advice on how to ask for a flexible work arrangement, go to WorkOptions.com.

Line up new clients. Does your career lend itself to consulting or freelance project work? Many fields do, from graphic design and event planning to tax advising and tech services. Consulting or freelancing is an ideal retirement job for retirees because of the flexibility it gives you to choose your projects and how much you want to work, says Driver. There are a number of sites that connect older workers to project work, including Driver’s RetirementJobs.com and RetiredBrains.com.

Fill in at a high level. For mid- and higher-level executives, another option is to temp as an interim executive. Interim execs fill an existing position while the company searches for a permanent replacement. It’s a great option if you still crave the prestige and pace of the executive life, but also want the flexibility to enjoy time off in between assignments, says Collamer. The Riley Guide lists firms that specializing in placing interim execs.

Find your passion. If you want to connect with work that you feel is most meaningful, you may be able to transfer your professional skills to a non-profit that focuses on issues important to you. “While nonprofits depend heavily on volunteers, most have at least a few paid staff positions,” says Collamer. Start volunteering now and see what opportunities are available. Nonprofits with tight budgets may be more open to part-timers. Check out non-profit job sites such as Bridgespan, Idealist and NonProfitJobs. Another good resource is Encore.org, which helps older workers transition to careers with a social purpose.

Seek adventure. Finally, if you’re looking for something totally new, check out CoolWorks.com’s Older and Bolder section. It is aimed at retirees looking for seasonal or temporary jobs at national parks, lodges, ranches and other outdoor destinations.

Do you have a personal finance question for our experts? Write to AskTheExpert@moneymail.com.

MONEY Careers

What To Do When The Boss’s Daughter Is Tough to Work With

140605_AskExpert_illo
Robert A. Di Ieso, Jr.

Q: I work for a small firm of about 20 people. The problem is that the boss’s daughter also works there and is a trial for everyone. She is 25, not particularly bright, and very arrogant. She acts and speaks like it is her firm and has alienated just about everyone. No one will dare say anything to the boss, not even during reviews. What should I do?– Name Withheld

A: You have two options: Find a non-confrontational way to make your boss aware of the situation and see if he or she is inclined to act. Or look for a new job.

The latter might seem unfair, but that’s the reality of working for a small, family-run business, says Dana Brownlee, a corporate trainer and founder of Professionalism Matters. “Your boss clearly wants his daughter to play a role in the company, and he calls the shots,” says Brownlee.

It’s not clear if her behavior is just unpleasant or if her attitude is affecting the business in a material way. As much as your boss loves and supports his daughter, if she is driving valued employees away or hurting client relationships, he may not want to jeopardize the business, says Brownlee.

Even at a small firm, your boss may not be aware of what’s happening, especially if no one is speaking up at reviews. If you can get your boss to see what’s going on, there’s a chance the situation will change.

Set a meeting with your boss. Don’t criticize his daughter. Instead, talk about the issues that are having an impact on business and ask for advice on how to handle them. For example, if you have a client who has complained about dealing with the daughter or a decision she made, you can report that and say you’re worried about losing business. Your case will be stronger if you can get several colleagues or even the client to bring the problem up with your boss too.

You could also recommend a change in how reviews are done so that staffers have a way to give honest and frank feedback confidentially. Brownlee recommends a 360-degree review process, in which employees receive anonymous feedback from the people who work around them. That might not be an easy sell in a small organization, but if you have any influence with your boss, this would be an objective way to raise his awareness, says Brownlee.

The best you can hope for is that your boss gets concerned enough about her behavior that he talks to her about it. Even if your boss does that, however, it’s not very likely he will fire his daughter. “If that’s not a situation you can live with,” says Brownlee, “your best strategy is to find a new job.”

Have a workplace etiquette question? Send it to careers@moneymail.com.

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