It's traditional to threaten bad children with coal instead of presents, but in this day and age, the threat has lost all its credibility—until now.
Ship Coal, yo!—a new service from the guy who brought you fall foliage by mail—will send a package with 6 to 12 ounces of athracite coal in a miniature stocking to the address of your choice. You can also include a personalized note. The "gift" costs $14.99 plus $3 in shipping.
If you want something more personal, ShipCoal, yo! will send a personalized large piece of coal for $9.99 (plus $3 for shipping) with phrases like, "You're fired!," "Chris, you've been evicted," "I'd like to break up," and "I'm pregnant," among others. It's up to you.
As a source of energy, coal may be on its way out—it's environmentally awful and unhealthy to mine—but it's stronger than ever as a revenge present.