Robert A. Di Ieso, Jr.
By Sarah Max
April 1, 2015

Q: I have accounts with various institutions and have been doing my own investing for more than 30 years. I recently married again but my wife does not get involved with my investments. What instructions should I give her about how to handle these accounts if I die first? — Anonymous

A: The sooner you can bring her into the fold, the better, says Byron Ellis, managing director for United Capital Financial Advisers in The Woodlands, Texas. And not just for the sake of your nest egg, but for the sake of your marriage.

First, consider consolidating your accounts. “A lot of people think having money at different firms is a great way to diversify, and that’s just not true,” says Ellis. Simplifying has advantages for you today, and will make things easier for your heirs down the road.

Next, use this concern about these accounts as a jumping off point for a bigger discussion about money. “People think differently about money, and that can lead to other issues,” adds Ellis.

If you haven’t already, make a date with your wife to talk about everything from how you’d like to handle day-to-day finances to your overall philosophy about spending and saving. Does she have assets of her own? How confident is she about managing money? What motivated you to save as you did?

Once you understand where each of you is coming from, you can talk about how you want to handle things going forward. For example, do you want to continue managing your money separately? What are your near-term and longer-term goals?

Regardless of what comes out of the conversation, you should by all means leave your wife some instructions – for your investments and the rest of your estate. In addition to making sure your will is up to date – that is key – write your wife what Ellis calls a love letter, and ask her to do the same.

This letter should outline your instructions and include all the information you think she should have if you pass away: a list of accounts and account numbers; user names and passwords; your insurance policies; important contacts and phone numbers; an inventory of other assets or items you’ve hidden. Obviously, you’ll need to put this letter in a safe place, such as a safety deposit box, and let your wife know where you keep it.

Finally, make a point of updating the letter once a year; some information will change, and so too may your wishes.

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