TIME Donald Trump

Donald Trump Insult Generator

Because the Republican presidential candidate hasn't gotten around to mocking everyone in the world just yet

Perhaps no presidential candidate in history has wielded the put-down quite like Donald Trump. John McCain’s a “dummy.” John Kasich is “desperate.” Rick Perry “needs new glasses.” Karl Rove is “a total loser.” Lindsey Graham, Trump said Tuesday as he announced the South Carolina Senator’s cell phone number on live television, is a “stiff. What a stiff.”

The list goes on.

Feeling left out that Trump hasn’t gotten around to insulting you or your friends? Here’s an app for that. Built on the real-live insults taken from the would-be President’s Twitter feed, @RealDonaldTrump, the generator below provides a Trump insult for everyone.

Refresh page to use a new name.

TIME Supreme Court

Antonin Scalia to Justices: This is No Smarter Than a ‘Fortune Cookie’

Read the Supreme Court Justice's dissent on gay marriage

Justice Antonin Scalia told his Supreme Court colleagues that their legal reasoning in the court’s 5-4 ruling that states must license same-sex marriage and recognize similar unions from other states didn’t rise above the level of wisdom delivered to dinners at the end of a Chinese meal.

“The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie,” he wrote in his dissent to the court’s decision which effectively ended a long legal battle over marriage rights.

“The opinion,” Scalia wrote elsewhere of the majority’s reasoning, “is couched in a style that is as pretentious as its content is egotistic.”

(Scalia appeared to be referencing one of the very first lines of the majority opinion, which notes that Confucius—long a staple of fortune cookie quotations—taught “that marriage lies at the foundation of government.”)

The conservative justice criticized his colleagues for thwarting democracy by ending the debate taken places in state legislatures and at the ballot box throughout the United States over marriage rights: “What really astounds,” Scalia wrote, “is the hubris reflected in today’s judicial Putsch.”

He told his colleagues that their backgrounds make them “strikingly unrepresentative” of the American people: “This Court, which consists of only nine men and women, all of them successful lawyers who studied at Harvard or Yale Law School. Four of the nine are natives of New York City. Eight of them grew up in east- and west-coast States. Only one hails from the vast expanse in-between. Not a single Southwesterner or even, to tell the truth, a genuine Westerner (California does not count). Not a single evangelical Christian (a group that comprises about one quarter of Americans), or even a Protestant of any denomination.”

Finally, Scalia warned that the ruling to extend marriage rights to gay couples across the country would rob the court of its power: “Hubris is sometimes defined as o’erweening pride; and pride, we know, goeth before a fall. The Judiciary is the “least dangerous” of the federal branches because it has “neither Force nor Will, but merely judgment; and must ultimately depend upon the aid of the executive arm” and the States, “even for the efficacy of its judgments.”

With each decision of ours that takes from the People a question properly left to them—with each decision that is unabashedly based not on law, but on the “reasoned judgment” of a bare majority of this Court—we move one step closer to being reminded of our impotence.


See How Much Americans Prefer Fictional Presidents to Barack Obama

The real President trails in the polls to Francis Underwood, Fitzpatrick Grant and other actors who play politics on TV

Being leader of the free world isn’t easy–especially when you have actors running around showing people they can do a better job than you. President Barack Obama’s approval rating trails that of many actors who have played President on television in recent years, according to the mischievous pollsters at Reuters/Ipsos.

20th Century Fox Television (1); Getty Images (3); Netflix (1); AP (1)

The poll found 46 percent of Americans view Obama favorably, according to the survey published Monday. Americans’ favorite TV president? David Palmer of 24. Of those who have watched the Fox thriller, 89 percent said they hold a favorable opinion of the President played by Dennis Haysbert. Martin Sheen’s Jed Bartlett of The West Wing scores an 82 percent favorable ranking among viewers. President Laura Roslin of the SyFy channel’s Battlestar Galatica pulled in a 78 percent favorability ranking from those who have watched her outfox Cylons.

Obama even trails the famously scandalous leaders of House of Cards and Scandal. Fitzgerald Grant, one of Shonda Rimes many gifts to the world, has a 60 percent favorability rating from Scandal watchers. Francis Underwood, the Netflix President played by Kevin Spacey, is seen favorably by 57 percent of the show’s audience.

When compared to real competition, Obama performs much better. At this point in his second term, George W. Bush carried a 34 percent approval rating.

Read next: The Underwoods: A Less Perfect Union

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The State of Obama’s Plate

US President Barack Obama eats a "median
SAUL LOEB—AFP/Getty Images US President Barack Obama eats a "medianoche" sandwich while eating lunch at Kasalta Bakery during a visit to San Juan, Puerto Rico, June 14, 2011. The visit marks the first by a US President to the island territory since former US President John F. Kennedy's visit in 1961. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

Inside the burger joints, steakhouses and date night destinations where you can find America's Eater-in-Chief

Since Barack Obama is preparing to deliver the State of the Union Tuesday, we decided, naturally, to check on the state of the President’s plate. Obama is our first foodie President, and his eating habits say a great deal about what tops America’s tables.

After reviewing more than 12,400 reports filed by the White House press pool since Obama took office six years ago, we were able to uncover nearly every one of his dining choices, from enchiladas with chorizo in Colorado to the best sushi he’s ever had in Tokyo. Our tally shows Obama has left the White House at least 120 times for breakfast, lunch, a snack or dinner, clogging restaurant parking lots with Presidential motorcades everywhere from Honolulu to Martha’s Vineyard.

And the results are in: Alan Wong’s of Honolulu is Obama’s favorite restaurant. The First Couple has picked at least 15 places for Date Night. And Obama, who’s eaten in at least 30 states since taking office, is nearly three times as likely to find himself wielding a fork and knife in a place that voted for him than against him.

Look below to see just what’s been on the Presidential menu since Obama’s 2009 inauguration. Tap or hover over each picture to see when Obama visited. Starred ratings and images are provided by Yelp.

All of Obama’s Burgers

Despite the Administration’s efforts to make America eat healthier, when our President goes out for lunch, his go-to meal is a burger. (Not for nothing did the Washington Post call Obama’s relationship with cheeseburgers a “love story.”)

The Obama-Approved Steakhouses

When the chef Bobby Flay dropped by the White House to show Obama his grilling tricks in 2009, Obama spilled the beans on how he likes his meat. “I’m a medium-well guy. People always complain about that but that’s just how I like it.” Here’s where the President is getting his overcooked meat.

Obama’s Favorite Restaurant

“Every time, it’s a chicken-skin moment,” says chef Alan Wong about the multiple visits from his most famous customer. Wong was talking about his goosebump-inducing nerves—not his menu. Most winters, the Obamas vacation in Hawaii. And when they do, they visit Alan Wong’s restaurant, the place where Obama has eaten more than any other during his presidency. While at the Asian-fusion restaurant, Obama eats soy-braised short ribs, Wong told Honolulu magazine.

Date Night Destinations

Early in his presidency, Obama discovered that taking his wife out for a date could become a political hot potato. The world’s most powerful man somehow manages to secure some of the country’s most coveted tables, including seats at Blue Hill and Estela in New York City and Komi in Washington, D.C. Rumor has it family friend and senior adviser Valerie Jarrett scouts out restaurants before the Obamas give them a try.

State by State

Want to find a place near you where Obama’s broken bread? The President’s dined in at least 30 states.

Who’s Coming to Dinner?

Obama’s taken out presidents and pastors. Even Joe Biden. Here’s the breakdown of who’s most often filling out his table.

Obama’s Political Plate

Thanks to campaign schedules and the heavily Democratic District of Columbia, Obama’s most often eating among folks who have voted for him. Here’s the political breakdown of each Congressional district where he’s had a meal. Districts outlined in black have changed representatives since Obama’s visit.

Every Meal Eaten Outside the White House

From Inauguration Day in 2009 to today, here’s every single meal eaten outside the White House as captured by the White House pool reports.

Did we miss something? Perhaps! We limited the survey to places where the President was observed eating or buying food (swinging by a diner to shake hands doesn’t cut it). If Obama came to your favorite place and grabbed a bite, send us an e-mail at david.johnson@time.com, and we’ll be sure to update the list.

Reporting contributed by Giri Nathan.

Last updated Jan. 23, 2015


The Jaden and Willow Smith Poetry Generator

Let the famous Hollywood siblings be your inspiration

He is a 16-year-old actor and musician. She is a 14-year-old musician with one big hit under her belt already. Together, they are Hollywood royalty and apparently vessels for some extraterrestrial wisdom, if judged by this interview published by T Magazine Monday. To celebrate the uncanny insight of Jaden and Willow Smith, son and daughter of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, we present you with this poetry generator using their own words from the new interview.

Read next: The 5 Weirdest Things Willow and Jaden Smith Said In That T Interview


The Political Memoir Title Generator

To mark the publication of Hillary Clinton's Hard Choices, create a book name of your own

There are hard choices and then there are hard choices—like what to call your political memoir. As with politics, the genre seems encourage a certain brand of safe conformity. When in doubt, politicians can try one resolute word like Duty (Robert Gates) or Leadership (Rudy Giuliani). If you’re Barbara Bush and you’re writing a memoir, you can go with, well, A Memoir. America is a always a good place to start whether you’re An American Son (Marco Rubio), have lived An American Life (Ronald Reagan) or happen to know America By Heart (Sarah Palin). Bravery of all shades is to be celebrated from The Audacity of Hope (Barack Obama) to A Fighting Chance (Elizabeth Warren) to the Courage to Stand (Tim Pawlenty).

Still having trouble coming up with a title for a political memoir of your own? We’ll do the work for you. Click below to create a new title and share the results.


How to Manage a Boomer

Getty Images

Five tips for Millennials who are beginning a life that will be spent alongside some very frightened coworkers

Good news, proud members of the Class of 2014, you’re out of school now and in the real world. You might even be that strange creature–a new graduate who has managed to pick up a job along with your diploma. Nice going!

Not to tug your mortarboard tassel, but there could be trouble ahead: first up, you are about to spend your days with something called a Baby Boomer. Perhaps more than one. Don’t be scared. Although Boomers are terrified of you.

You can’t let their fear get to you. It’s good to remember what one Boomer wrote about you and your friends in Inc. magazine last spring, “Most Millennials grew up in a warm, supportive environment in which they were constantly told they were the best or brightest–regardless of the facts.” Let me just say, you are doing wonderfully.

Now on to those spooked Boomers. Even after years of downsizing, there may be a few Boomers left in your place of work. Boomers have been through a lot. Treat them with care. They are an unhappy bunch: The Pew Research Center once called Boomers the Gloomiest Generation (and this was before the Great Recession had them reaching for the Lexapro).

Since I’m a Millennial, some more about me. I’ve worked apple cheek by drooping jowl with Boomers for a half decade—that’s equal to a quarter century in Millennial time–so my advice comes with a little thing Boomers call “experience.”

Tip number one: do not call a Boomer, a Boomer—at least not to his face. Boomers do not like this. Tell a Boomer he’s being a Boomer, and a particularly brave one might say something like, “I’m not a Boomer. I’m an early member of Generation X.” This is a very Boomer thing to say. Some pencil pushers may tell you that no person born later than 1964 qualifies as a Boomer. They are wrong: Boomerdom is as much a state of mind as it a demographic cohort.

Tip number two: Find common ground. There happens to be plenty. A Gallup survey from January reported that 17 percent of Millennials were actively disengaged at work. Twenty percent of Boomers said they shared the same flaky feeling. Talk about that while you’re busy not working together.

This time last year, this magazine called Millennials the “Me Me Me Generation.” The Boomers brought us the “culture of narcissism” and the “me decade.” Never before have two generations thought so highly and so much about themselves. Sometimes navel-gazing is improved by a partner. Find yourself a Boomer. Compare selfies.

Tip number three: don’t talk money. Boomer bankers have a lot of explaining to do. Boomer CEOs have disappeared these things called pensions (it’s complicated, but basically they once paid you even after you stopped working). Now fellow Millennial-fearing Boomers, with their rotten 401Ks, are stuck working next to you when they had planned on spending mornings in lawn chairs counting the cars that drive by the house. But, here again, good news and still more common ground: According to a recent Forbes report, “Millennials aren’t motivated as much by money.” Because Boomers have lost so much and Millennials can hope for so little the zipped lips on the money thing should be easy for everyone.

Tip number four: Be patient. You’re going to be working together for a long time. Gallup again: Forty-nine percent of Boomers say that they don’t plan on retiring until after they are 66 years old or older. Ever scarier, one in ten Boomers say they will never retire. Look around your office: count to ten Boomers. One of these guys is leaving the office feet first.

Until that happens, try to find what makes each Boomer special. Every Boomer is like a snowflake, different in his own way. As one director of marketing told Fox Business readers about Boomers, “We are not all the same. Stereotyping is always dangerous, and with Boomers, it simply can’t be done.”

Tip number five: Keep things in perspective. One Boomer, claiming to be a member of Generation X like so many Boomers do, told the Washington Post, “Dealing with Millennials for me is like drinking water from a fire hose — it takes my breath away.” Remind a Boomer that there could be so many more of you. That fire hose has a giant Boomer-made knot holding back its true pressure.

You could show the light-headed Boomer the copy of the Economic Policy Institute’s Briefing Paper No. 377, published in May, that you were just reading. You could tell the Boomer it says, “In today’s labor market, there are nearly 1 million ‘missing’ young workers—potential workers who are neither employed nor actively seeking work…because job opportunities remain so scarce.”

Watch the Boomer walk away slowly. Give him the rest of the day to think about the prospect of a Million Millennial March, coming up the elevator, down the hall, past the cubicles and making a parade right for the Boomer’s office door.

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