TIME viral

The Best News Bloopers of July

Including a prank call to MSNBC about Malaysia Airlines flight MH17

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The month in entertaining news bloopers featured empty anchor desk chairs, a reporter swallowing a fly and a dog relieving itself in the background of a BBC weather report.

The most high-profile blooper is the clip of the prankster who called in to MSNBC last week pretending to be a U.S. staff sergeant who witnessed the missile strike that shot down Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 over eastern Ukraine.

And the video caps off with the moment when Joan River stormed out of a CNN interview because she thought the questions were judgmental and nasty — which David Letterman later spoofed by walking out on his Late Show interview with her.

WATCH: The Funniest News Bloopers of June 2014

WATCH: The Funniest News Bloopers of May 2014

TIME nation

Police Say Toddler Raced Home to Watch Cartoons After Crashing Jeep into House

This photo provided by the Myrtle Creek Police Department shows a Jeep that authorities say a toddler crashed into an home in Myrtle Creek, Oregon. Myrtle Creek Police Department – AP

The three-year-old was not injured

An Oregon toddler crashed a Jeep into a neighbor’s house and then went home to watch cartoons on Tuesday, July 22, according to police, CNN reports.

The Myrtle Creek Police Department has said the three-year-old boy managed to climb into the vehicle with the keys and knock it out of gear. KPTV reports that witnesses saw the car roll down the street and through an intersection before crashing into a neighbor’s house. A police officer found the boy sitting on the couch in his home watching cartoons on TV, Myrtle Creek Police officer Kevin Taggart told CNN.

The damage to the house is reportedly minor, and the child was not injured. ABC News reports that police cited the toddler’s mother Brennan Pennington for the lack of supervision.

 

TIME animals

9 Camps and Retreats to Help Your Pet Sort Out Its Existential Crisis

From popping bacon-scented bubbles on a "Wooftop" terrace to a workshop that teaches your dog how to fetch a beer from the fridge

While kids have been going to camp for years, and the number of camps for adults has been growing, where can their furry friends have fun in the sun? As pet industry spending is expected to reach nearly $60 billion in the U.S. this year, NewsFeed has decided to round-up pet summer camps and retreats nationwide and the new activities for 2014. All but one are for dogs, and while some of them have already taken place for the summer, many have late August and fall sessions right around the corner. Sit back, read up, and enjoy the dog days of summer.

  • Wag Hotels

    Wag Hotels

    At the 2014 summer camp run by Wag Hotels in San Francisco, dogs have chased bacon-scented bubbles on the rooftop terrace — ahem, “Wooftop Terrace,” to be exact. New activities include wine tasting with “doggie wine” (carrot juice), and campers get tattoos on their rumps of hearts, skull & cross bones, and butterflies. The camp also takes place in West Sacramento and Redwood City.

  • Call of the Wild Dog Camp

    Heather Ohmart / City Dog Country Dog

    At this camp in the Yachats River Valley on the Oregon Coast, “Happy Hour” is called “Yappy Hour.” One of the new workshops this summer is “Bring Me a Beer,” which is exactly what it sounds like. Dogs are taught how to fetch a beer from the fridge and carry it over to their owners.

  • Camp Dogwood

    Renny Mills Photography

    “Barn Hunt” is the newest activity at Camp Dogwood, which hosts camps in Lake Delton, Wisconsin, and Ingleside, Illinois. Live rats are put in tubes that look like hamster balls and are then hidden in hay so the dogs have to find them.

  • Camp Gone to the Dogs

    Steve Surfman

    Barn Hunt was also a new activity at the Vermont retreat. There’s also square dancing and freestyle dancing for dogs and their owners who want to boogie down “doggie style.”

  • Canine Camp Getaway of NY

    Laurie Coger

    This upstate New York program offers workshops like “Barks & Crafts,” in which dogs do finger (paw) painting on t-shirts, and dog skateboarding, in which dogs are taught how to stand on the skateboard, get a running start, and take off. New activities offered this year are “Doga”, a form of yoga that dogs do with their owners, and a bone stacking contest.

  • Yellowstone Dog Sports

    Melissa Dragovich / Yellowstone Dog Sports

    Herding is a popular workshop at this camp near Red Lodge, Montana, which is about an hour northeast of Yellowstone National Park, just north of the Montana-Wyoming border. While agility and “search and rescue” exercises are supposed to be physically stimulating for the dogs, astronomy lectures are supposed to be intellectually stimulating for their humans.

  • Camp Unleashed

    Jason Houston

    “Canine Massage How-to” is one of the newest activities at this camp for dogs, which has locations in Asheville, North Carolina, and The Berkshires in Massachusetts. Human campers learn how to give their pets a massage “to enhance the flow of positive energy between you and your dog,” according to the orientation packet.

  • Camp Winnaribbun

    Sharon Eide

    Based right on the beach on the south shore of Lake Tahoe in Zephyr Cove, Nevada, the camp will take dogs on hikes along different parts of the lake. This year, for the first time, the program will host a birthday celebration for the dogs, featuring various booths like bobbing for tennis balls and paw readings, the canine version of palm readings.

  • Morris Animal Inn

    Morris Animal Inn

    Lastly, we’ll throw cat owners a bone. At Morris Animal Inn in Morristown, N.J., lodging is made up of “condos”, duplexes with climbing areas, TVs, rugs, and mini versions of furniture humans use like dressers, nightstands, and sofas with wood frames. Felines feast on mahimahi, and staffers take them on “walks” along the nature trail on the grounds in strollers lined with lambswool.

    Dogs can vacation here, too. In fact, the resort’s canine fitness camp for overweight pets recently made headlines, offering activities from “Barko Polo” to “pawlates.”

TIME celebrity

Benedict Cumberbatch Chills With a Penguin at Comic-Con

Richard Shotwell—Invision/AP

"Cumberbitches" are bound to be jealous

While Comic-Con fans in San Diego have been ogling at the suit that Ben Affleck wore as Batman, fans of Sherlock star Benedict Cumberbatch (nicknamed “Cumberbitches”) may be more interested in this hilarious photo of the actor with a penguin mascot for The Penguins of Madagascar.

As the Associated Press points out, his appearance at a Dreamworks Animation panel marked two firsts for the actor: his first time at the convention and his first animated part.

(h/t EW)

LIST: This Is How The Internet Reacted When TIME Put Benedict Cumberbatch on The Cover of Its International Edition

TIME celebrity

Jack White Was Not Impressed by the Cubs Game Last Night

More like take me out of the ball game

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Jack White, the American musician best known as one half of the The White Stripes, was spotted looking as if he was bored and annoyed during a game between the Chicago Cubs and the San Diego Padres at Wrigley Field on July 22.

The Internet has been having a field day over his expression.

A MLB.com post described the scene in the form of his songs. (“Looking to have a baseBall and a Biscuit, Jack White was spotted at Wrigley In The Cold, Cold Night.”)

Hopefully, for his fans’ sake, he turns that frown upside down before his concerts in Chicago tonight, July 23, and tomorrow night, July 24.

TIME animals

Whale Lifts Up Kayakers in This Absolutely Terrifying Video

Whale watching

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Kayakers reportedly paddling off the coast of Argentina recently got the fright of their lives when a whale swam under them and lifted their boat up with its back. The scary moment, which reportedly took place near Puerto Madryn in Patagonia, was captured in a video uploaded to YouTube by user gisela6652 and has been going viral on Reddit in the past day.

Fortunately, the kayakers appear to be okay at the end of the clip, unlike this National Geographic video of a fatal encounter between sea lion pups and a killer whale off the coast of Argentina that boasts more than 12,000,000 views on YouTube.

MORE: Whale Collisions Spark Calls for Ship Speed Limits in Australia

MORE: Japan Is Planning To Resume Whale Hunts

TIME Food & Drink

Meet the Man Behind Hot Dog University

Mark Reitman

A frank conversation with a professor at "the nation's college of encased meat knowledge." Mark Reitman is neutral about ketchup but doggedly opposed to the meatless and veggie impostors

In honor of National Hot Dog Day on July 23 and National Hot Dog Month, TIME talked to the man behind Hot Dog University, also known as “the nation’s college of encased meat knowledge.”

On Mondays and Tuesdays at Vienna Beef’s Chicago factory, Mark Reitman, 66, who has been called a Ph.D — “Professor of Hot Dogs” — teaches a $699 two-day course about the business of operating a hot dog stand — or as he calls it, “the art of the cart.”

Reitman has been serving hot dogs since he was eight years old and even did it part-time when he worked as an appliance salesman and taught middle school and high school before opening his own stand in 2003. After working at events in Wisconsin, he started Hog Dog University in 2006 and partnered with Vienna Beef in 2009. Now there are satellite campuses in Vernon, California, and Scottsdale, Arizona. Reitman says over 800 students have taken the class — 300 have opened restaurants nationwide and 500 have set up hot dog carts.

“When I first started this, my friends thought I was doing swan dives into empty pools, or they thought I had lobsters growing out of my ears,” he says. “But guess what? The joke’s on them!”

What’s the trick to cooking a hot dog properly?

Just put a pot of water on a stove, get it up to 165 degrees and drop the dog in there for 6-8 minutes. Simmer it, don’t boil it because that will cause it to split at the ends or crack, and you’ll bleed out the spices.

You can chargrill a dog, but don’t just throw the dog on there. You take it, score the dog, crosscut the ends, and they will begin to open up. Same goes for putting a hot dog on a stick and cooking it over a campfire. They’ll taste so much better than sticking them right into the fire, where they start getting large and explode.

Is there a right way to put on the toppings?

When you put the condiments on a hot dog, you never put them on the bun. And there is an order. A Chicago-style dog has seven condiments, starting with a thin line of mustard on top, then green relish, then diced onions. On one side of a poppyseed bun, you put two thinly-sliced tomato wedges, and on the other side, you put two sport peppers. Then throw on a cold pickle spear in the middle and a dash of celery salt.

New York-style uses a red onion sauce and sauerkraut, and for Carolina-style, run line of mustard on it, cover it with chili, throw on some chopped onions and finely shredded cheddar cheese or coleslaw. Those are the three main style dogs.

As you go further West, like in Seattle, they’ll dress their dog with cream cheese and put grilled onions on it.

How do you feel about ketchup on a hot dog?

I don’t become politically involved with the use of ketchup. It doesn’t belong on a Chicago-style hot dog because the tomatoes and relish already provide that sweetness. But if customers want ketchup on a hot dog, they can have it on a hot dog. That’s my philosophy on ketchup.

What do you think of veggie and meatless dogs?

I’m not a fan of them. Hot dogs are not health food, they’re comfort food. People have wanted me to cater parties with veggie dogs, and I don’t want to do it because I don’t want to develop a reputation for being the caterer of veggie dogs, okay? I do hot dogs that are all-beef. I’ve never had a veggie dog. And I won’t.

What do you think of the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest and competitive hot dog eating in general?

It’s a popularity contest. Hot dogs taste so good when you have them in the right bun, downing them is something I could never do. But I don’t have any objection to it.

When did you serve your first hot dog?

In 1955 when I was eight years old. My father owned a soda fountain, and I would go in on Saturdays and Sundays and serve people ice cream and milkshakes. One Saturday when I went to work, he had a [new] machine, a big glass case with a wire rack in it. I cooked the hot dog, put it on the plate and gave out ketchup and mustard packets.

What’s the future of hot dog stands?

We lead our students to become private caterers with these little hot dog carts so they can do corporate and private parties where there’s a referral system that comes off of it. Right now with what’s going on with the economy, I really think [running a hot dog stand] is going to be an alternative for people who have lost their jobs or who want to do something for additional income.

What tips do you give your students for selling hot dogs?

I’ll have my students grill onions because the smell, when we get that wafting into the air, oh my God, it just brings people from blocks away to come and buy stuff. Even if we don’t put the onions on the hot dogs, we do that whenever it gets slow to attract customers to the cart.

I also train my students to make fresh-squeezed lemonade and sell ice cream. On a day when it’s 100 degrees, people may not want to eat hot food, but they’ll buy a fresh-squeezed lemonade or an ice cream. That way, you can still make a living selling lemonade and ice cream.

One Halloween, my wife and I decided to hand out candy to kids. So every time a family came, we’d give bubble gum to the kids, and the parents would say, “What about me?” Basically hot dogs are kid food. You never grow up when you have a hot dog.

TIME World

Watch The Queen’s Guard Perform The Game of Thrones Theme Song

Part of changing the guard at Buckingham Palace

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A YouTube user captured the moment recently when the Queen’s Guard at Buckingham Palace played the theme song from the hit HBO series Game of Thrones.

According to the British Monarchy’s website, the music played at the Changing of the Guard “ranges from traditional military marches to songs from films and musicals and even familiar pop songs.” (h/t Rolling Stone)

MORE: Hodor from Game of Thrones Launches Thrones-Themed DJ Tour

WATCH: This Game of Thrones Cover Brings Winterfell to The Bayou

WATCH: This 80s Remix of The Game of Thrones Trailer

TIME viral

WATCH: Weird Al Makes Fun of Every College Fight Song

They all sound the same

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“Weird Al” Yankovic has been parodying songs by prominent pop artists – from “Word Crimes”, the grammar-themed spoof on Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines”, to “Tacky”, a spoof on Pharrell Williams’s “Happy”, to “Handy”, a spoof on Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy.”

His latest music video makes fun of every college fight song. Sample lyric: “We’re great, and you suck.”

Cheer that way at your own risk, for some sports are trying to crack down on vulgar chants.

WATCH: Weird Al and His Famous Friends Take On Pharrell’s “Happy”

WATCH: Weird Al’s Lorde Parody of “Royals” Is About…Foil

TIME World

Reporter Sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to Angela Merkel in This Cringe-Worthy Video

It's the thought that counts

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In honor of German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s 60th birthday, a German TV reporter serenaded her with a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday, Liebe Bundeskanzlerin (Dear Chancellor)” during a press conference at the European Council building in Brussels, Belgium.

No other journalists seemed to sing along with Udo Van Kampen, Brussels correspondent for ZDF.

“I should have sung along, then it would have been better,” Merkel said, the Associated Press reports. “But thank you.”

So far, she said she has received flowers and champagne from her colleagues attending a European Union summit, though arguably, Germany’s World Cup win on July 13 was the best birthday present she got.

 

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