TIME celebrity

Watch James Franco and Seth Rogen Make Korean BBQ Lasagna

They're promoting their upcoming film with the folks from the 'Epic Meal Time' YouTube series

James Franco and Seth Rogen have teamed up to make a Korean BBQ lasagna with Epic Meal Time, a YouTube channel known for creating food mashup monstrosities like Four Loko-infused chili and sushi made out of fast food burgers. Warning: watching them make this “lasagna”—a recipe that also includes french fries—may make you lose your appetite for lunch.

The stunt is a promotion for their upcoming film The Interview, in which the comedians fly to North Korea to interview dictator Kim Jong Un and are recruited by the CIA as assassins.

TIME society

Students With These Names Are the Absolute Worst

According to a survey that claims to reveal the names of students with the best and worst behavior

School Stickers, a website started by a UK teacher where PreK-12 students earn “rewards” for good behavior and achievement from teachers, has compiled a list of boys and girls who have been “naughty” and “nice” based on the most common names.

Nicest Girls

Amy
Georgia
Emma
Charlotte
Grace
Sophie
Abigail
Hannah
Emily

Naughtiest Girls

Ella
Bethany
Eleanor
Olivia
Laura
Holly
Courtney
Amber
Caitlin
Jade

Nicest Boys

Jacob
Daniel
Thomas
James
Adam
Harry
Samuel
Jack
Oliver
Ryan

Naughtiest Boys

Joseph
Cameron
William
Jake
Joshua
Jamie
Lewis
Benjamin
Ethan
Luke

(h/t BuzzFeed)

TIME viral

Tony Blair’s Awkward Holiday Card Gets a Seasonal Roasting on Twitter

It's been called "terrifying/the stuff of nightmares"

Twitter users are mocking the 2014 holiday card from Tony Blair and his wife Cherie, tweeting that the expression on his face is “terrifying/the stuff of nightmares” and looks “strained.” Snarky remarks are tagged with the hashtag #tonyblairchristmas:

And the parade of memes features parodies of…

that episode of Friends…

Grant Wood’s American Gothic…

The Demon Headmaster (book and TV series)…

A belated Halloween card…

And a typical face swap meme:

 

TIME society

Here Are the 10 Most Misquoted Holiday Songs

“Don we now our day of peril”

The following 10 songs are the most frequently misquoted holiday classics and the funniest ways people have interpreted them, according to an Amazon survey. The data is a promotion for X-ray for Music, an application that displays lyrics as tunes play. Happy sing-a-long!

  • “Auld Lang Syne”: “Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mine, should all acquaintance be forgot in the land of old man time.”
  • “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)”: “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your toes”
  • “Winter Wonderland”: “Later on, we’ll perspire”
  • “Deck the Halls”: “Don we now our day of peril”
  • “Jingle Bells”: “Bells on cocktail rings”
  • “The Twelve Days of Christmas”: “On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me, four colly birds”
  • “Silent Night”: “Round John Virgin, mother and child”
  • “Joy to the World”: “Joy to the world! The Lord has gum”
  • “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”: “Grandma got run over by a reindeer walkin’ home from outhouse on Christmas Eve”
  • “We Three Kings of Orient Are”: “We three kings of porridge and tar”
TIME Business

This Is How Much ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’ Gifts Cost in 2014

Footing the bill for this list would be "true love," indeed

Every year, the PNC Wealth Management Christmas Price Index brings “The 12 Days of Christmas” carol lyrics to life by revealing how much each item mentioned in the song’s lyrics would cost in the present day.

If someone’s “true love” bought all of the gifts mentioned in the holiday classic, then the bill would come out to $27,673.22 in 2014, according to the bank, which gathered data from the National Aviary in Pittsburgh, PHILADANCO (The Philadelphia Dance Company) and the Pennsylvania Ballet Company.

Here is the full list, as condensed by the AP:

- Partridge, $20; last year: $15

- Pear tree, $188; last year: $184

- Two turtle doves, $125; last year: same

- Three French hens, $181; last year: $165

- Four calling birds (canaries), $600; last year: same

- Five gold rings, $750; last year: same

- Six geese-a-laying, $360; last year: $210

- Seven swans a-swimming, $7,000; last year: same

- Eight maids a-milking, $58; last year: same

- Nine ladies dancing (per performance), $7,553; last year: same

- 10 lords a-leaping (per performance), $5,348; last year: $5,243

- 11 pipers piping (per performance), $2,635; last year: same

- 12 drummers drumming (per performance), $2,855; last year: same

TIME animals

These Baby Bats Swaddled Like Burritos Are the Only Thing You Need Today

If this video doesn't warm your heart, nothing will

Usually we think of bats as creatures that only come out at night. But now, in broad daylight, the YouTube channel Wakaleo has captured footage of baby bats being swaddled (thus, resembling burritos) at the Australian Bat Clinic & Wildlife Trauma Centre, based in the Gold Coast hinterland at Advancetown in Queensland, Australia.

The organization rescues, feeds and provides medical care to baby bats who have become orphans, often after their mothers have died from tick paralysis.

Animal lovers can also see “baby bat burritos” at the Tolga Bat hospital in Atherton, Queensland, Australia, which offers tours of the facility to visitors.

 

 

 

TIME Internet

This App Can Tell If You’ve Been Naughty or Nice Based on Your Tweets

Social Santa Tweets
Getty Images

Santa Claus is coming to your smartphone

Boys and girls, in the 21st century, it is safe to assume Santa is probably looking at your Twitter feed to see whether you have been naughty or nice.

In an interactive created by digital ad agency Yetis, users log into the app via Twitter, which scans their feeds for swear words. It generates a percentage for the number of tweets containing swear words — aka, how naughty you’ve been this year — which determines whether you are labeled as “naughty” or “nice.”

For example, it put me on Santa’s “nice” list because it only found a few swear words in my tweets. One was “pissing” because I tweeted my TIME article “World Cup urinals spark pissing matches” in June. (Hey, it was a clever pun!)

The technology is fun to play with, but we’ll stick to making a list and checking it twice.

 

TIME animals

Here’s a Drinking Game for Grumpy Cat’s Christmas Movie

Lifetime

The frowning feline goes from meme to movie

Well, this was inevitable. By this, I mean, a movie starring Grumpy Cat, the frowning feline made famous by Reddit that, in the last two years, has become the spokescat for Friskies cat food and boasts two books, a toy line and a possible Hollywood movie deal — all while hobnobbing with Jennifer Lopez and Seth Meyers. (For the uninitiated, the permanent frown is the result of feline dwarfism.)

The gist of Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever, premiering at 8pm ET on Lifetime: a girl who feels like she doesn’t have friends to hang out with during the holiday season discovers she can talk to Grumpy Cat. So she breaks into a mall to see the feline and gets in the middle of an attempted robbery, chasing down bad guys who threaten to ruin Christmas.

Still want to tune in? Well, because it’s Saturday night, and Aubrey Plaza, the Parks and Recreation star who voices the cat, recommended Jimmy Kimmel watch it while tipsy, use this drinking game (trust me, she’s right). So if you can drink responsibly, or have a designated driver, then take one sip when…

  • Aubrey Plaza meows, a forced, unconvincing mew
  • Grumpy Cat merchandise is promoted
  • A cheesy pun is made
  • Grumpy Cat disses another character
  • Other Internet memes are name-dropped or appear on screen
  • Grumpy Cat herself admits how awful the movie is

When the cat is not on screen — which feels like most of the film — you’ll find yourself waiting for laugh-out-loud moments. But alas, my expression was much like Grumpy Cat’s — grimacing and droopy-eyed with boredom.

Just as her books leave much to be desired because they are mostly pictures of Internet memes you could easily find on Google Images, watching the cat just sit there — and be…a cat — gets old quickly. Grumpy Cat may be trying to be the 21st century version of the Grinch, but at least the story of the Grinch was made up of delightful Dr. Seuss witticisms — Grumpy Cat’s lines are not anywhere near as clever.

That said, watching this flick will make you feel less guilty about taking a break to watch a cat video every now and then. At least those clips are only a minute or two long. This Lifetime movie is nearly 2 hours long.

So if you’re still deciding whether to tune in — or tough it out — remember: cats may have nine lives, but you only have one. You’ll never get this time back.

TIME movies

14 Thanksgiving Movies and TV Shows You Can Stream Right Now

Rocky
United Artists

Remember when Mr. Bean and Monica from Friends got their heads stuck in turkeys? We do, too

If you don’t want Thanksgiving to end, then grab a turkey drumstick for a snack and feast your eyes on these holiday-themed movies and TV shows that we’ve drummed up — highlights of what’s available to stream online via Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, or Amazon’s Instant Video section.

Movies

Bean (1997): In what’s arguably the best depiction of stuffing a turkey in recent movie history, the hapless Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) looks for his misplaced watch in a turkey that has already been stuffed, and is then found bumbling around the kitchen with the bird stuck over his head.

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973): The gang gathers around a ping-pong table as Snoopy carves the turkey for the Peanuts version of this tradition. Charlie Brown keeps up the tradition of missing the football.

Rocky (1976): Paulie (Burt Young) throws the Thanksgiving turkey out the window in a rage, so Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) and Adrian (Talia Shire) bust out of there and go to a nearby ice skating rink where they start to get to know each other.

Miracle on 34th Street (1947): The film features footage shot during the 1946 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. According to Turner Classic Movies, Santa Claus, played by Edmund Gwenn, “was given the task of riding in the actual Santa Claus float during the parade and climbing to the top of the Macy’s marquee. The crowds were not aware at the time that it was Gwenn waving to them.”

Brokeback Mountain (2005): Tense Thanksgiving dinner scenes spark fights over carving the turkey and watching football — acts that have been analyzed (here and here) as symbols of masculinity.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987): Steve Martin is a businessman scrambling to get home for Thanksgiving after a snowstorm delays his flight in this John Hughes farce. John Candy plays a pesky salesman who tags along for the ride.

The Ice Storm (1997): Another film that involves a storm hitting around Thanksgiving, this family drama stars Kevin Kline, Tobey Maguire, and Christina Ricci.

Home for the Holidays (1995): Fun fact: It supposedly took 64 turkeys to shoot this Thanksgiving flick, directed by Jodie Foster.

House of Yes (1997): Guy introduces fiancée to his eccentric family over the holiday, including a sister who reenacts JFK’s assassination with pasta and sauce.

ThanksKilling (2009, 2012): Sometimes watching a movie that’s so bad it’s funny can be a great way to bond. For instance, consider these two films, one about a homicidal turkey that hunts college kids, and another that features characters described as “Flowis the rapping grandma” and “Rhonda the bisexual space worm.”

TV

(In case you can’t stand to be sitting with your relatives for the length of a feature film)

The West Wing (“Shibboleth,” Season 2, Episode 8): White House press secretary C.J. Cregg (Allison Janney) has to figure out which of the two live Thanksgiving turkeys left in her office is more photogenic for the president to pardon.

How I Met Your Mother (“Slapsgiving,” Seasons 3, 5, 9): This day of thanks is also a day of getting slapped in the face for Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris). However, the HIMYM team apologized for the martial arts-themed “Slapsgiving 3,” because it was considered racist.

Gilmore Girls (“A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving,” Season 3, Episode 9): Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Rory (Alexis Bledel) have four Thanksgiving dinners to attend — and there’s some college admissions drama thrown in the mix.

Friends (“The One with the Thanksgiving Flashbacks,” Season 5, Episode 8): The cast reminisces on the time Joey (Matt LeBlanc) and Monica (Courtney Cox) both got their heads stuck in turkeys in dramatic ways — memorably, Monica’s is even wearing sunglasses.

TIME Science

This Is What Happens to Your Body When You Overeat

Just in time for Thanksgiving

In the days leading up to Thanksgiving, the American Chemical Society’s YouTube channel “Reactions” has boiled down the science of stuffing your face in a two-and-a-half-minute video. It explains how signals in the brain tell us when we are feeling full or when it is time to stop eating, as well as how antacids reduce the physical discomfort. Might be fodder for conversation after dinner when everyone is sitting around, running out of things to talk about and on the verge of slipping into a food coma.

MORE: Mall Will Fine Stores if They Don’t Open on Thanksgiving

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