TIME Television

Peter Pan Live! Recap: It’s a Gender Studies Field Day

J.M. Barrie's vintage story poses too many awkward questions for a modern audience, despite NBC's makeover attempt

Welcome to the wonderful world of Peter Pan Live! where NBC tries to recapture the magic of Sound of Music Live!

For their second live prime time musical, NBC chose to work with a lead who has already proven both her acting and singing chops — Allison Williams (the would-be singer Marnie on Girls). We know her father Brian Williams is proud.

The show kicks off at the well-appointed London home of the Darling Family. The family have hired a dog as their nanny, but when the hard-working canine gets hair on the waistcoat of Mr. Darling (Christian Borle), he wants her to sleep outside. Mrs. Darling (Kelli O’Hara) tries to talk some sense and compassion into her buttoned-up husband, but when she mentions that she saw a mysterious boy and a ball of light lurking outside their window, and that the dog saved them, Mr. Darling rolls his eyes. And then, in the long tradition of uptight patriarchs (see also: Mary Poppins), he ignores his wife and children and chucks the poor dog outside anyway.

As soon as the dog and Darlings are gone, Allison Williams — and her wig and British accent (we weren’t told there would be accents!) — comes flying though the window as Peter Pan, clad in green capri pants, a mesh shirt and gold-trimmed vest. Peter heads straight to the dresser to retrieve his lost shadow from a drawer, waking Wendy (Taylor Louderman) as he struggles to reattach it. Wendy isn’t bothered by the intrusion of what looks like a gawky teen who swung by Sherwood Forest for some fashion tips before embarking on a life of crime and home invasions. Instead she takes him for a tour of the house.

They retreat to the bedroom where Wendy helps Peter reattach his shadow and he sings at the top of his lungs in gratitude, yet somehow fails to wake up Wendy’s brothers Michael (John Allyn) and John (Jake Lucas). Wendy thanks Peter with a G-rated kiss, but Tinker Bell takes umbrage and pulls Wendy’s hair, setting off a supernatural love triangle that will take a lot of pixie dust to cure.

When Wendy starts peppering Peter with questions about his origins, he paints a lovely picture of his island home. Wendy decides to run away with him to see the magical world, even though Peter informs her that he plans to put her to work darning clothes, “making pockets,” and cleaning up after his band of boys. For some reason she thinks that sounds like a good time and she wakes her little brothers for the adventure. (What tween girl takes their little brothers anywhere willingly?) Peter gamely teaches everyone to fly and Peter and the Darling kids float off into the night on wire technology that seemingly has not improved since the early ’90s.

Next stop Neverland! No, not Michael Jackson’s ranch, but the home of the Lost Boys, Tiger Lily and Captain Hook, done up in iridescent colors last seen at the Rainforest Cafe. During his first moment on screen, Christopher Walken does an alluring soft shoe routine as Captain Hook, clad in red velvet pants, a low cut v-neck ruffled shirt and knee-length red duster with gold trim that manages to not clash with his hook. While the pirates are all clearly well-trained professional dancers who look like they’ve raided the leftover wardrobes from some hair metal video, it would be easy just to watch Walken lackadaisically tap dance on his own.

The pirates start bombarding Neverland just as the Lost Boys are dancing and prancing and playing leap frog while they wait for the return of their leader Peter Pan. (It’s important to note that the average age of a Lost Boy seems to be about 29.) The Lost Boys scatter as the pirates’ cannon fire nears. Soon the leather-and-velvet clad buccaneers invade. With Peter still absent and the Lost Boys hiding, they use the time to set forth on another none-too-scintillating dance routine.

Peter finally shows up in Neverland, but it’s too late. Tinker Bell has ordered a hit on Wendy. A Lost Boy shoots Wendy out of the sky just as Peter is announcing her arrival. Luckily the Lost Boy is a bad shot and she recovers quickly, awakening to find that she is now the adoptive mother of 9 to 12 overgrown man-boys and not even one of them is clever enough to figure out how to sew. Peter sings about how excited he is to have someone to tell them stories, cook them dinner, tuck them into bed, fix their clothes and make those pockets. (Jeez, guys, she was just struck in the chest with an arrow, give her a second before putting her to work, eh?) Wendy tells all the boys to take a bath while she obligingly cooks them dinner. This is less finding a mom and more human trafficking.

As the pirates hatch their nefarious plans, Wendy sets about parenting the unruly boys. As she tries to teach them manners and diplomacy and school lessons, Peter undermines her efforts and sings the most famous song from the musical, “I Won’t Grow Up.” The pirates track the Lost Boys through Neverland and soon Tiger Lily (Alanna Saunders) and her Native American band (that, reportedly, the producers took pains not to stereotype) realize what is happening. When Tiger Lily comes to warn Peter about the danger, Wendy gets all Mama Bear and jealous Jocasta rolled into one and orders the Boys to take a nap. Peter insists he doesn’t nap, because he is too hepped up on fairy dust. While Peter and Wendy are engaged in their domestic dispute, Hook kidnaps Tiger Lily — not that Peter notices.

To make up for arguing, Peter takes Wendy for a moonlit boat ride, and she shows off her vocals with a new song, “Only Pretend,” that fulfills the same function “Kiss the Girl” does in The Little Mermaid. But it’s unlike the Disney movie in one respect: Wendy is a tween mom and Peter is played by a woman in a drag acting like a boy who won’t grow up, and who willingly answers when Wendy calls him “father” and/or treats him like a son. Peter Pan is worthy fodder for a gender studies doctoral dissertation.

While on their adventure (and before they kiss), Peter and Wendy run into Hook’s crew. Hook whacks Peter on the rear, which may not have been in J.M .Barrie’s book. Then Peter flies around Hook’s head as they hurl threats at each other. The encounter is cut short by the ticking of a clock that haunts Hook. It’s not a misplaced watch, but the crocodile who ate Hook’s hand.

The pirates flee, but Peter is injured in the fight and only Tiger Lily can save him. She does and the two tribes are united as one, which, despite efforts, requires a dance rife with cliche if now absent slurs.

Back in the Lost Boys loft, Peter mulls over the fact that three women (well, two women and a fairy) are all in love with him despite his questionable fashion choices and off-putting wig. Wendy tells him that she wants more, but Peter is just not emotionally available right now. (Girl, we’ve all been there.)

Wendy and her brothers suddenly realize they want to go home so Wendy can wash her hair (or something like that). The Lost Boys all decide to go with her, but Peter won’t go, because he’s just not that into her. Unfortunately, right as Wendy finds her backbone, Hook attacks. He lures the Lost Boys and Wendy out and captures them all to set a trap for Peter.

Tinker Bell, who has been on the Time Out Stair for hours due to the whole ordering-a-hit-on-Wendy thing, comes to alert Peter to what has befallen the Lost Boys and Tiger Lily and the Darlings. Peter wants to rush to their rescue, but when he goes to take his medicine, which has been poisoned by Hook, Tinker Bell drinks it all to save him. As Tinkerbell’s light fades, Peter stares directly into the camera and orders all the children around the world to clap their hands if they want to save Tinkerbell’s life. Unfortunately it’s past 10 pm on a school night and all the children are tucked in bed, so perhaps think-pieces on whether Tink deserves to be saved despite her appalling behavior will have to suffice.

Instead of waiting until #SaveTinkerbell starts trending on Twitter, production cuts to another song by Captain Hook and his crew gloating over their hopes of poisoning Peter and capturing the rest of the island’s inhabitants. After Hook threatens to kill everyone but for two soon-to-be cabin boys, Peter comes to the rescue. Everyone fights and Wendy grabs a sword and takes down the flamboyant Smee (also played by Christian Borle), or strongly suggests that he takes himself down, which he does. Peter and Hook battle it out on the bridge of the ship and Peter finally wins, rubbing it in by yelling, “I am youth! I am joy! I am freedom!” which seems like unnecessary millennial mudslinging. After Hook ravages Michael’s beloved teddy bear, Peter feeds Hook to the creepy iridescent crocodile and all the burgeoning psychopaths cheer. Peter flies to the top of the crow’s nest and crows a few times, which will certainly be a GIF by morning.

At the end of the battle, Wendy charters the Tinker Bell Express, packs up her brothers and the Lost Boys and heads back to London. They land in the nursery, just as their poor mother’s heart is breaking and their father is cursing the infernal racket. Wendy begs her parents to adopt all the Lost Boys, because what’s a dozen more strapping young lads around the house? It works for Angelina Jolie! As Mr. Darling relents, everyone goes to celebrate except for Wendy, who whispers to the night sky that she promises to never forget Peter and to never the lock window.

The narrator announces the passage of time and when the lights come on, Wendy has turned into Minnie Driver (playing Wendy’s older self). Peter arrives as now grown-up Wendy is tucking her own child into bed. After Peter balks at Wendy’s grotesque grown-upness, Wendy decides to send her own daughter to Neverland, living by proxy through some deep psychological drama best handled by Sophocles.

No word on whether Peter ever got a pocket made.

Read next: Why You Should Be Ashamed of Yourself for Hate Watching ‘Peter Pan Live!’

TIME Internet

Watch All of the 2014 Movie Trailers in One Glorious Mashup

Grab the popcorn

The Sleepy Skunk has just released the annual movie trailer mash-up and everything from Boyhood to Birdman to The Lego Movie, Guardians of the Galaxy to The Imitation Game, Lucy to Annabelle to Belle is included in the mix. Even films not in theaters yet are represented, including Tim Burton’s Big Eyes and the assassination comedy The Interview, raising the ire of North Korea.

Boasting a soundtrack made up of Dario Marinelli’s score from V for Vendetta and songs by The Prodigy and OneRepublic, the trailers are seamlessly woven together to not only remind viewers of the individual films seen this year, but also of everything we watched on the big screen in 2014. It’s a mesmerizing step back to see the greater whole of the stories we were told this year.

Whether you’re working on a year-end list (here’s TIME’s list of the best movies of 2014), or trying to get a jump start on your Oscar ballot, the video takes you on a helpful, fascinating and beautiful stroll down movie memory lane.

TIME Internet

Listen to the Hit Songs of 2014 in Just 2.5 Minutes

The Vine phenomenon covers all the songs.

Us the Duo, the Vine phenomenon that covers hit songs in social-media friendly six second loops known as #6SecondCovers, has expanded their time frame to cover all of the hits from 2014 in just two-and-a-half minutes.

In the video, the husband and wife team of Michael and Carissa Alvarado seamlessly blend parts of Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off” with Coldplay’s “A Sky Full of Stars”, Sia’s “Chandelier”, Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass”, and more. Remember way back at the beginning of this year when Pharrell’s “Happy” was inescapable? It’s in the mix along with John Legend, Ariane Grande, Nico & Vinz, Magic!, Clean Bandit, and Maroon 5.

Us The Duo signed a deal with Republic Records in March, becoming the first Vine artists to get picked up by a major label.

MORE:

Top 10 Best Songs of 2014

Top 10 Worst Songs of 2014

TIME Science

Boys May Actually Be Meaner Than Girls, Study Says

Boy using hedge clippers to cut down butterfly mobile
Getty Images

Debunking the "Mean Girls" myth

Move over, Mean Girls. It turns out that boys might actually be the crueler ones.

A new study from the University of Georgia (UGA) published in the journal Aggressive Behavior reveals that when it comes to being mean to your peers, it’s not girls who rule the school, but boys.

It has long been speculated by social researchers that boys are more physically aggressive while girls are more relationally aggressive. To put that in middle-school terms: boys are more likely to shove you into a locker, while girls are more apt to spread a rumor that you didn’t wear deodorant to gym class. Relationally aggressive behavior is the stuff that Mean Girls is made of — malicious rumors, social exclusion and rejection — and it turns out that boys are pretty good at it too.

In fact, as researchers followed a group of boys and girls from middle school to high school, they found that, at every grade level, boys engaged in so-called relationally aggressive behavior more often than girls. The boys were also more physically aggressive than the girls, which leads to an interesting side note: the study seems to have scientifically proved what many have known to be true — middle school ain’t fun. The UGA study shows that the highest levels of physical and relational aggression are present in students from sixth through eighth grade, with all levels of aggression declining throughout high school before reaching a low during senior year. In short, aggressive behavior is at its worst in middle school, but it gets better.

Pamela Orpinas, a professor of health promotion and behavior in the College of Public Health at UGA, led the study and analyzed data collected from 620 students randomly selected from six northeast Georgia school districts. Student participants completed yearly surveys, which allowed the UGA researchers to identify and group them in distinct trajectories for relational aggression and victimization as they progressed from Grade Six to 12 trusting the students to self-report both physically and relationally aggressive behavior and victimization.

“Overall, we found relational aggression to be a very common behavior,” says Orpinas, who notes in an interview with TIME that for the most part, middle school and high school age children are not particularly aggressive, even if they may make snide comments about a classmate at some point. “Almost all of the students surveyed, 96%, had passed a rumor or made a nasty comment about someone over the course of the seven-year study.” Her study revealed that a majority (54%) of the students were unlikely to be perpetrators of relationally aggressive behavior and only 6.5% were ranked “high” as likely perpetrators. Among those students who were perpetrators of violence, the study found that boys were more likely to be both moderate perpetrators (boys 55%, girls 45%) and high perpetrators (boys 66.7%, girls 33.3%) of relationally aggressive behavior.

Still, the study has its limitations: it’s based on a relatively small sample size of students from Georgia schools, rather than looking at a nationally representative sample. Orpinas notes there’s little research on mean boys so far, but hopes to look more closely at the phenomenon in the future. For now, with the “mean girls” myth dispelled, she recommends boys be included in the same school-based programs that have traditionally been used to keep girls from being mean to each other. And maybe that Mean Girls sequel should be called Mean Boys, which would be so fetch.

For more parenting stories and advice on raising a child in today’s world, check out the new TIME for Family subscription.

TIME celebrity

Watch Jane Krakowski’s “Leaked” Audition Tape for Peter Pan Live!

The 30 Rock star gives it her all

Funny or Die has managed to get its hands on 30 Rock star Jane Krakowski’s audition tape for Peter Pan Live! and “leaked” the reel to the press. In the clip, Krakowksi make it clear that she is willing to do whatever it takes to play Peter Pan in NBC’s upcoming live production of the play—and if that means hooking up with Wendy, then she’s down for it.

Krakowski came in full costume to the audition, bringing along the Tony Award she won for her portrayal of Carla in Nine, as a helpful reminder to the producers that she’s legit. She showed off her stage skills by playing Peter Pan as an oversexed British pixie dust addict who might be afraid of heights and have a lot in common with Tinkerbell. While it would have been a fascinating take on the beloved childhood character, NBC opted to cast a safer choice, Girls star Allison Williams, in the role instead.

Peter Pan Live! airs on NBC on Thursday.

TIME Television

Taylor Swift’s Label Boss Scott Borchetta May Be Coming to American Idol

The 56th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Pre-GRAMMY Gala And Salute To Industry Icons Honoring  Lucian Grainge - Show
Scott Borchetta and Taylor Swift attend the 56th annual Grammy Awards Pre-Grammy Gala at The Beverly Hilton on January 25, 2014 in Beverly Hills, California. Larry Busacca—Getty Images

The man who discovered Ms. Swift may be the new Randy Jackson

Can the man who discovered Taylor Swift also discover the next Taylor Hicks?

Scott Borchetta, the music executive who helped bring the world the wonder that is T-Swift, may be joining American Idol as a mentor, according to a source who spoke to The Hollywood Reporter.

Borchetta’s bona fides include being the President and CEO of the Big Machine label group, which signed Swift when she was just 14 years old. Big Machine is also home to such heavy-hitting talent as Tim McGraw, Rascal Flatts, Florida Georgia Line, Reba McEntire, and The Band Perry, as well as Danielle Bradbery, who won the fourth season of that other singing competition, The Voice. It will be interesting to see whether Idol leans towards country this season with the addition of Borchetta’s Nashville ear, plus Idol‘s resident country rocker, judge Keith Urban, who sits on the panel next to Jennifer Lopez and Harry Connick Jr.

If Borchetta does join the cast, he would be stepping in as mentor to the contestants vying for the prize on Idol‘s upcoming 14th season, in the spot vacated by Interscope Records exec Jimmy Iovine and long-time Idol mainstay Randy Jackson — who is finally hanging up his top dawg status and retiring from the show.

TIME Television

HBO Orders Martin Scorsese-Mick Jagger 1970s Rock Show to Series

"Revenge Of The Green Dragons" Premiere - 2014 Toronto International Film Festival
Director Martin Scorsese attends the 'Revenge Of The Green Dragons' premiere during the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival at Ryerson Theatre on September 10, 2014 in Toronto, Canada. Sarjoun Faour Photography—WireImage/Getty Images

Bobby Canavale, Olivia Wilde and Ray Romano will star in the still-untitled show

Boardwalk Empire may have closed up shop, but Martin Scorsese and Terence Winter are sticking around HBO for awhile longer. The network just ordered to series the still-untitled rock show that the duo is developing with Rolling Stones legend Mick Jagger and Breaking Bad producer George Mastras.

Jagger, who first conceived the show as a feature film and has been developing a television version of the story since 2010, will be lending his real-world rock credibility to the series, which is set in the sex-and-drugs fueled music scene of 1970s New York.

The show stars Bobby Cannavale as Richie Finestra, a record company executive with an uncanny knack for figuring out what’s the next big thing in music, trying to make his way in the brave new world of disco and punk and hoping to revive his record label with some new blood. A life-altering decision rocks his world and the aftermath sends ripples through his relationship with his business partner, played by Parenthood‘s Ray Romano, and his ex-model wife, played by Olivia Wilde in her biggest return to television since she rose to fame on House. As to what that “life-altering decision” might be, you’ll just have to tune in.

Rounding out the cast is Juno Temple, Andrew “Dice” Clay, Ato Essandoh, Max Casella, James Jagger, Jack Quaid, Birgitte Sorenson, P.J. Byrne, J.C.MacKenzie, Bo Dietel, Armen Gary, Robert Funaro and Joe Caniano.

The hour-long drama will help HBO fill out its schedule as some of the channel’s mainstay shows like Boardwalk Empire, The Newsroom and True Blood will all be gone by the end of the year. In addition to the Scorsese-Winter project, HBO also recently announced WestWorld, which will mark Sir Anthony Hopkins’ first regular role on a television show.

A premiere date has not yet been set.

TIME celebrity

Jimmy Kimmel and The Killers Just Wrote This Hilarious Christmas Song

"Joel, The Lump of Coal" is sure to be a holiday classic

The Killers have made an annual tradition of writing a Christmas song and donating the profits to a charity. In the past, they’ve teamed up with Elton John, Dawes and Neil Tennant to write songs, but this year they invited fellow Las Vegas native Jimmy Kimmel to help write a new holiday classic.

Kimmel was flattered by their proposition and showed up to their song-writing session armed with a stack of Christmas sweaters and a notebook full of ideas like writing a Christmas carol around the word YOLO or how “haters gonna hate hate hate.” Luckily, The Killers nixed Kimmel’s song contributions (they wisely kept the Christmas sweaters), and when they started brainstorming for new ideas, they came up with a diamond in the rough: “Joel, the Lump of Coal.”

It’s a heartwarming tale of a lucky lump of coal that was chosen by Santa to fill the stocking of a naughty little boy and instead became a touching holiday lesson for all to share. It just might bring a tear to your eye.

“Joel, the Lump of Coal” is available for purchase on iTunes, and all proceeds go the (RED) campaign, a global fund to fight AIDS.

WATCH: Meghan Trainor Performs Thanksgiving Songs on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Read next: This Is the Most Popular Christmas Song Ever

TIME Music

Listen to Two Lana Del Rey ‘Big Eyes’ Tracks

British Fashion Awards - Red Carpet Arrivals
Lana del Rey attends the British Fashion Awards at London Coliseum on December 1, 2014 in London, England. Pascal Le Segretain—Getty Images

The Tim Burton film gets a soundtrack song from the alt-pop siren

Updated with full audio

Many people think Lana Del Rey was robbed when the Oscars failed to recognize — or even nominate — her contribution to The Great Gatsby soundtrack “Young and Beautiful.” Now she’s giving the Oscars another chance to recognize her morose genius with the title track for Tim Burton’s forthcoming film, Big Eyes.

Based on the minute-long preview that has been released, Del Rey’s song is inspired by the sounds of the ’50s and ’60s era captured in Burton’s biopic of American artist Margaret Keane, whose iconic paintings of big-eyed children were falsely attributed to her husband, Walter.

Del Rey’s “Big Eyes” will appear halfway through the movie, according to THR, with her second contribution, “I Can Fly”, rolling during the credits. With two songs in the running, start marking your Oscar ballots now — Del Rey is aiming for the win.

Big Eyes opens Christmas Day.

“Big Eyes”

“I Can Fly”

(both via Direct Lyrics)

TIME Sports

Football Head Impacts Can Cause Brain Changes Even Without Concussion

Tetra Images - Erik Isakson—Getty Images/Brand X

New study looks at high school athletes

As the world mourns the loss of Ohio State University football player Kosta Karageorge, who was found dead in an apparent suicide on Nov. 30, concerns about the long term effects of head injuries sustained by footballers continue to mount. A day after Karageorge’s death, a study has been released that suggests sports-related head impacts can cause changes in the brain even when there are no outward signs of a concussion.

In fact, researchers from Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center in Winston-Salem, N.C., say some high school football players in the study exhibited measurable brain changes after a single season of play, even in the absence of concussion.

The Wake Forest team, lead by Dr. Christopher Whitlow, focused on youth players, a group that until now had been widely overlooked in the research into the effects of the repetitive head impacts associated with a typical season of football. “For every one NFL player, there are 2,000 youth players. That’s close to four million youth players and the vast majority of research on impact-related brain injuries has been on the college and professional level,” says Dr. Whitlow, noting that two-thirds of head impacts occur in practice sessions, not games.

Read More: High School Football Player Dies After Injury

In the first-of-its-kind study, the researchers hooked up 24 high school football players between the ages of 16 and 18 with helmet-mounted sensors to assess the frequency and severity of helmet impacts and then sent them out to play ball. As the players hit the field, the sensors allowed the researchers to monitor the severity of players’ head impacts. The team collected data from the helmets before and after every game and the high school students also underwent pre- and post-season diffusion tensor imaging (DTI) of the brain. “We looked at both structural and functional neuro-imaging and evaluated the players’ neuro-cognitive function,” he says.

“We found some changes in the brain that are concerning,” said Dr. Whitlow. “They are concerning because kids with more impacts had more changes and the kids with fewer impacts had fewer changes.”

While none of the football players were concussed during the season, the researchers found that there were microstructural changes in all of the players’ brains, especially in those players who were deemed “heavy hitters.” That direct correlation between game-related hits and changes in the brain is not exactly surprising, but may be unsettling for parents of youth football players.

Read More: The Tragic Risks of American Football

Not that Dr. Whitlow wants people to pull their kids from the peewee leagues or ban high school football just yet. “The high school athletes weren’t experiencing any of the classic symptoms of concussion—dizziness, nausea or double vision,” he says. “While the changes in the brains are concerning, because there were no symptoms of concussions, we don’t yet know how important these changes are.”

Dr. Whitlow sees the results of the study as only the first step in identifying a potential problem with allowing youth players to continue to play ball. He and his team want to determine whether these changes in the brain are permanent or transient and whether they are associated with subtle changes in neuro-cognitive functions. “Once we can identify risks, we can intervene to reduce those risks,” he says. Interventions could include improvements in technology and helmet safety, identifying maneuvers that could be particularly dangerous, making changes in the diagnoses of head injuries and identifying subtle changes that could be harmful.

So what’s a parent to do? Dr. Whitlow suggests they get involved in their kids’ practices. “You have to put these risks in the context of the health-related benefits of playing sports. The take home message is that parents need to use common sense. The best thing for parents to do is know what is going on on the field, know the symptoms of concussions, get to know the coaches, find out if there is a trainer on the field who can diagnose concussions.” He also directed parents to SaveInjuredKids.org for ideas on how to reduce head injuries and to learn to identify the signs of concussion.

“Football is the great American pastime,” said Dr. Whitlow. “I think it’s going to be around for another hundred years and what we’re trying to do is make it safer.”

Got Kids? Special Offer for Families from TIME

Your browser, Internet Explorer 8 or below, is out of date. It has known security flaws and may not display all features of this and other websites.

Learn how to update your browser