TIME Television

Dancing With the Stars Watch: No Dirty Dancing During Disney Week

And one star danced off into the sunset

To mark the halfway point in the competition on Dancing With the Stars, the show is celebrating with Disney Night, a.k.a. the best one-time cross-promotional event they put on annually! The contestants all slap on their Disney-themed Spanx and body glitter and dance to Disney songs while Disney characters prance around the stage, and the stars are forced to interact with animated characters that aren’t actually there. Luckily, it’s halfway through the contest, so the stars have started to think these shenanigans are normal. Julianne Hough got into the spirit of the evening by dying her hair cotton-candy pink (and presumably having small forest animals help her get dressed). Even Tom Bergeron got into the spirit of the night, promising that someone would magically disappear by the end of the night.

Here’s what happened on Dancing With the Stars:

Suzanne Somers and Tony Dovolani: Suzanne and Tony were given the double whammy of being informed that they are in jeopardy and then being forced to open the show, which just seems unfair. Cut to rehearsal footage of Suzanne threatening to quit because she doesn’t think she’s good enough at dancing to continue. Tony gives her a pep talk, but the producers may be trying to warn the audience to brace themselves for Suzanne’s impending departure. Before we find out if she’s leaving, she has to make it through a jazz routine to “He’s a Tramp” from Lady and the Tramp, which is a song that has a very different non-Disney meaning today and yet the song lives on. Despite a G-rated wardrobe malfunction, it was a solid routine. Len Goodman considered it her best dance ever. 28/40

Robert Herjavec and Kym Johnson: After last week’s tear-jerking ode to his mother (R.I.P.), the Shark Tank star was ready to tackle a quick step to the most apt song ever: “Step in Time” from Mary Poppins. The performance was like a preview of a childhood-robbing reboot of the classic, including super sexy chimney sweeps and Kym playing the beloved nanny (presumably after a fall in fortune lead her to work in a house of ill repute) wearing a low-cut shirt, red sequined leotard and a see-through skirt. Unfortunately, Robert’s performance gave the judges a lot of excuses to make “step in time” jokes as he lost his timing and was never able to make it up. 24/30

Patti LaBelle and Artem Chigvintsev: Patti cheered when she was told that she was in jeopardy, which is partially explained when the rehearsal footage shows her icing her knee and crying and promising Artem that she will never give him up, never let him down, never run around and hurt him. By the time she hit the ballroom floor she was smiling brightly and waltzing away to “When You Wish Upon a Star” while images of Pinocchio were projected on the floor. Strangely, none of the judges’ noses grew while assessing her routine deeming it solid, if unexciting. 27/40

Willow Shields and Mark Ballas: If you were wondering how Mark would top building an entire Hunger Games stadium inside the studio, this week he took Willow down the rabbit hole for a foxtrot to “Alice’s Theme” from Alice in Wonderland. The ballroom was filled with fog and dancing cards, and Mark wore a truly haunting white rabbit get-up that was so horrifying it explains why this show has a 10-plus rating (well that and Bruno’s mouth). While the judges admit they are starting to think that Mark’s over-the-top productions are distracting from the dance, it was still a well-executed routine. 34/40

Chris Soules and Witney Carson: After last week’s disappointing returns, Witney brought in a little backup to show The Bachelor star how it’s done — last year’s winner Alfonso Ribeiro. Alfonso gave Chris a few pointers, but it was all for nought because Chris pulled a calf muscle while rehearsing his quickstep to Hercules track “Zero to Hero” and devoted his energy to not whimpering while dancing. Len thought that Chris must have been channeling Hercules to dance on his injury. Carrie Ann Inaba thought it was his best dance ever and admired the fact that he showed a little leg in a dress and sandals and a headband (Erin Andrews asked him if he was missing Coachella, which was the best joke of the night.) 27/40

Noah Galloway and Sharna Burgess: This week, when Noah complained about his leg, Sharna tough-loved him and told him to stop acting like a baby. Noah seemed to love her lip. He flew into the ballroom on a magic carpet and foxtrotted to “A Whole New World” while dressed like Aladdin, which is definitely not “acting like a baby.” Bruno said watching Noah dance makes him believe in magic. Carrie Ann thought it lacked a bit of content, but didn’t really matter because he is simply incredible. 28/40

Riker Lynch and Allison Holker: Determined teen Riker has managed to find the manliest Disney character possible so he can simultaneously dance a paso doble and impress the teen ladies. He hits the ballroom dressed like Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. Apparently that movie had a song called “He’s a Pirate,” and Riker owned it. The judges could barely contain their glee over the routine and even his competition couldn’t help but politely applaud from the balcony. Carrie Ann almost threw herself over the judges’ table to declare the routine, “The best everrrrr!” 38/40

Rumer Willis and Val Chmerkovskiy: Rumer has no interest in playing a Disney princess, but she is very interested in playing a Disney villain. So she put on her Ursula costume, and she and Val sambaed to “Poor Unfortunate Souls” from The Little Mermaid, which everyone mentions is “unconventional.” Carrie Ann said it was “odd and weird and out of this world,” but in the best way possible. Julianne couldn’t understand how Rumer made Ursula the Sea Witch the sexiest character in the Disney pantheon (um, has she seen Cogsworth the Clock?). Then Erin forced Rumer to snuggle with Minnie Mouse even though neither of them was into it, and Rumer was covered in purple body paint. 39/40

Nastia Liukin and Derek Hough: Bruno thought that Nastia’s and Derek’s jazz routine to “Love Is an Open Door” from Frozen captured the essence of the “wonderful world of Disney” and was “practically perfect in every way” (which is a quote from Mary Poppins, not Frozen, so get it together Bruno). The easily distracted Carrie Ann loved the routine, but was confused by their lip syncing. 38/40

In Jeopardy: Chris and Witney, Patti and Artem, Suzanne and Tony are all in jeopardy. It’s quickly revealed that despite her injury and her apparent desire to leave, Patti is still safe.

Going Home: Suzanne. For whatever reason, the audience apparently didn’t like last week’s Three’s Company–themed routine and failed to vote for the actress. Suzanne graciously bowed out of the competition, taking only enough screentime to shout, “I think all women my age should go on hormones!” And with that, Suzanne was out.

TIME food and drink

Watch This Breakfast Master Make Game of Thrones Pancakes

Open up and eat your Westeros

Your love of Game of Thrones no longer needs to end on Sunday night when the episode is over. Now with a little pancake mix and a lot of skill, you can extend it to the breakfast table.

Using off-the-shelf baking mix, water and a nonstick pan, YouTube pancake-making sensation Nathan Shields whipped up a delicious-looking ode to the seven kingdoms of Westeros. Shields put his incredible pancake skills to work to create edible versions of the sigils that mark the fictional noble houses in Game of Thrones. There’s the wolves of Winterfell, a Lannister lion, the bird and moon that mark House Arryn’s stronghold The Eyrie, all recreated in batter just yearning for butter and syrup the way Arya Stark thirsts for vengeance.

Remember, if you do try to recreate these pancakes at home, don’t invite Jon Snow for breakfast.

TIME Television

Watch John Oliver Get Michael Bolton to Sing an Ode to the IRS

Spare the IRS your ire

Tax day is nigh and John Oliver used his Last Week Tonight platform to urge taxpayers not to blame the IRS for their tax day woes — and instead save that ire for Congress.

“The fact is, blaming the IRS because you hate paying your taxes is like slapping the checkout clerk because the price of eggs has gone up,” said Oliver. He noted that if people are angry about the amount of tax they pay, they should blame Congress, who are also responsible for setting the tax rate and for making frequent, confusing changes in the tax code.

Oliver believes that the IRS is unfairly vilified by taxpayers, and their status as the universal scapegoat, gives Congress leeway to cut the agency’s budget, which results in fewer services and longer lines. To encourage people to spare the IRS, Oliver conscripted Michael Bolton to sing a stirring ode to the most maligned agency in the U.S. government.

Read next: Here’s What to Do If You Can’t Finish Your Taxes On Time

Listen to the most important stories of the day.

TIME movies

These Are the LEGO Star Wars Posters You’ve Been Waiting For

Get your geek on

The Force has been strong between LEGO enthusiasts and Star Wars fans for a long time, so it’s no surprise LEGO wanted to celebrate that all six Star Wars films are now available for digital download for the first time in the series’ history. To mark the occasion, the toy company is releasing LEGO versions of all six original Star Wars film posters, from the original trilogy to the prequels. LEGO will also be giving away the posters to fans at Star Wars Celebration next week, but for those who can’t make it to Los Angeles to engage in a little Jabba the Hutt cosplay—or are too busy watching the movies (in Machete order, natch) — fans will be able to find the poster online starting on Star Wars Day. (That’s May 4th, in case you weren’t geeky enough to know).

The two monstrously popular pop culture icons have collaborated a lot in the past with promotional DIY toy sets, video games featuring minifigs of Star Wars characters, LEGO Star Wars apps and crossover cartoon series. In February, LEGO and Disney announced they were teaming up to re-tell the Star Wars saga in chronological order from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace up through Star Wars: Return of the Jedi in the series LEGO Star Wars: Droid Tales, which will air later this year. So it seems clear that LEGO and Star Wars share a bond at least as deep as the one between Han Solo and Chewbacca.

 

TIME Television

Watch Madonna and The Roots Play ‘Holiday’ on Classroom Instruments

Take a holiday, right in your cubicle

One of the best bits that Jimmy Fallon and The Roots regularly engage in is taking mega-hits and playing them on classroom instruments. They’ve done it with Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass”, performed “Let it Go” with Idina Menzel and made One Direction (back when Zayn Malik was still in the band, of course) sing along to “Santa Claus is Coming To Town.”

Last night they outdid themselves, though, conscripting none other than Madonna to perform one of her classic hits on classroom instruments. The OG Material Girl sat front and center, singing along and manning the whistle, while helping the Roots and Fallon transformed her poppy song into an even sunnier tune. Give yourself a little holiday at work by checking out their performance, because it’s downright fun and less frightening than her new “Ghosttown” video.

TIME Television

Watch Julia Louis-Dreyfus Try to Get Jimmy Fallon to Say ‘Uptown Funk You Up’ Without Getting Censored

The Veep star plays a mean game of telephone

If you ever wanted to see the (fictional) President of the United States shout “Sausage penis!” on television, then this clip is for you.

To promote the upcoming premiere of Veep‘s fourth season, Julia Louis-Dreyfus stopped by The Tonight Show Wednesday to play a game called “The Whisper Challenge” with host Jimmy Fallon. For the exercise in PG-rated silliness, the actress donned headphones blaring loud music and had to guess what unlikely phrase Fallon was whispering to her. The results were suitably ridiculous, as Fallon cracking up while Louis Dreyfus blurted out quasi-inappropriate phrases. It got even funnier when the roles were reversed, and Louis-Dreyfus had to try and get Fallon to guess the phrase “uptown funk you up” without using the f-word on network television.

This sketch will tide you over until Veep returns to HBO on Sunday, April 12 at 10:30 p.m.

 

TIME Television

The Blue Man Group Covered the Game of Thrones Theme Song

Including a silent plea for more Hodor

They may have taken a vow of silence, but the Blue Man Group is as excited about the impending return of Game of Thrones as the rest of us. In a new video, the group puts its unique set of musical skills to work and played the Game of Thrones theme song on a collection of pipes, tubes, jars and other well-tuned flotsam. The result is an excellent facsimile of the song composed by Ramin Djawadi for the HBO series.

The Blue Man Group also managed to make a silent plea to bring Hodor back for season 5. Despite a season 4 cliffhanger that left the fate of Hodor and his charge, Bran Stark, in flux, the two characters are not slated to appear on this season of the show, much to the chagrin of some (blue) fans. In the text accompanying their new video, the Blue Men have sworn to continue their silent streak (which is rivaling Teller’s at this point) until Hodor’s status in season 5 is confirmed and used their instruments to dramatically state their case.

TIME Music

These Three Sisters Play Metallica Better Than You

"Enter Sandman" takes over the Internet

Three sisters from Monterrey, Mexico, are taking the Internet by storm with their cover of Metallica’s classic metal jam “Enter Sandman.” The young women, Daniela (guitar), Paulina (drums) and Alejandra (bass) were just 14, 12 and 9 when the video of their group, The Warning Band, was posted in July 2014, but their sound rivals Metallica’s original work.

While the video was posted over a year ago, it has been picking up traction as the three sisters work to raise funds in the hopes of attending the Berklee College of Music in Boston. They’ve raised more than $9,500 of their $30,000 fundraising goal.

The sisters are aiming to get the attention of every YouTube star’s fairy godmother, Ellen DeGeneres, according to Heavy Metal, in the hopes that she will invite them to perform on her talk show.

TIME Toys

A Golden Girls LEGO Set Might Actually Happen

Sophia, Rose, Dorothy, Blanche and, of course, cheesecake.

The Golden Girls could follow in the footsteps of Doctor Who and spring from the television set to the LEGO set, thanks to a suggestion by a devoted fan. The Golden Girls set was designed by fan Sam Hatmaker (lostsleep) via the toy’s popular LEGO Ideas crowdsourcing community and includes everything you need to relive the magic of the beloved ’80s TV show.

As designed, the set includes the living room of Blanche’s Miami house and mini-figs of all four Golden Girls — Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia — as well as Stanley (just pretend Sophia calls him a “yutz” every time you play with him). More necessary than Stanley is the inclusion of a mini plastic cheesecake that’s perfect for eating in the full kitchen set while imagining new stories of St. Olaf.

The project currently has 3,204 supporters, but for LEGO to take this from incredible idea to production, over 7,000 more people will need to sign on to show their support. As an added incentive, the designer has promised to add the infamous Lanai to the set if the project reaches 5000 votes. Luckily, there are 343 days left to reach the goal.

LEGO did not respond to a request for comment at the time of publication.

TIME Television

Watch Louis CK Admit He Ruined Jimmy Fallon’s Chance to Be on The Dana Carvey Show

All's well that ends well

Before Jimmy Fallon was host of The Tonight Show, and even before he was cast on Saturday Night Live, he was a struggling young comic trying to find work. His job search led him to try out for a spot on former SNL star Dana Carvey’s brand new show, The Dana Carvey Show, and he thought he rocked the audition, but they never called. Last night on The Tonight Show, Louis CK finally gave him an explanation: He personally torpedoed Fallon’s chance at getting the job.

Turns out Louis CK was working on the show and when Fallon came in, he could tell he was talented and ambitious and was definitely going places. He was also young and attractive and may have been shaking his rear end during the audition. For Louis CK, that was a package he didn’t want delivered on a daily basis, so he set about making sure Fallon never got hired. Luckily things have worked out well for Fallon or else Louis CK might feel a little more than a little guilty.

Your browser is out of date. Please update your browser at http://update.microsoft.com