TIME Last Week Tonight

Watch John Oliver Use Free Lunch to Remind Fashion CEOs That Sweatshops Are Bad

Extremely cheap meat, anyone?

On Last Week Tonight, John Oliver turned his gimlet eye on fashion (a.k.a. fun you can buy).

Americans buy roughly 64 items of clothing per person per year, according to Oliver. That fashion habit comes thanks to the low prices available at fast-fashion retailers like H&M, Zara and Forever 21 — nationwide outfitters that, according to Oliver, allow “Midwestern tweens to dress like fortysomething alcoholics attending the funeral of a Tel Aviv nightclub owner.”

But there’s another dark side to cheap clothing, according to Oliver. When H&M sells a dress for $4.95 — which Oliver notes was 7¢ more expensive than a DVD of Ghosts of Girlfriends Past — and yet the CEOs of H&M and Zara are some of the richest men in the world, it’s clear something is awry. On Last Week Tonight, Oliver took fast-fashion companies, including Walmart and Gap, to task for the fact that sweatshops and child labor are still commonly used to manufacture high-street clothing.

Then, for a lesson in manufacturing oversight, Oliver kindly sent extremely cheap lunches of indeterminate origin to the CEOs of fashion companies that employ cheap labor.

Read next: John Oliver: ‘Thank F–k There Weren’t Camera Phones’ When I Started Out

Listen to the most important stories of the day.

TIME Television

Watch Terry Crews TKO Mike Tyson on Lip Sync Battle

It's a knockout fight

On Thursday’s Lip Sync Battle, former NFL star Terry Crews faced off against heavyweight champion and face tattoo enthusiast Mike Tyson in a battle for the Internet ages — and they were both ready to rumble.

Crews delivered a particularly stirring rendition of Vanessa Carlton’s heartfelt anthem “A Thousand Miles,” which he originally debuted in the 2004 film, White Chicks. He started his performance seated at the piano, accompanying his lip syncing with some faux piano playing. Crews then kicked it up a notch, jumping on top of the piano, adding in some rhythmic gymnastics, and making the crowd swoon by ripping off his white blazer to pump his pecs in time with the beat.

While Crews tugged at the heartstrings, Tyson went for the knockout with a stellar performance of Salt-N-Pepa’s classic “Push It.” While Tyson’s lip syncing was lackluster in that he kept forgetting to do it, he earned points for his extreme dance moves in his extra tight pants.

The winner by decision? There’s a new champion: Crews.

TIME Television

Dancing With the Stars Watch: Spring Break and Heartache

Group dance!

Welcome to spring break, Dancing With the Stars style. This week’s festivities celebrated all things spring break (which must be said in the style of James Franco’s character in Spring Breakers at all times). Normally a spring-break theme would be an excuse to wear a tiny swimsuit on stage, since the stars of this show wear them every week, most opted for more traditional spring break attire a.k.a. ball gowns. Not only did the shining stars have to perform individual routines, but tonight marked the inaugural group dance. One extra addition to the festivities is that this recap was recorded live from Hollywood and certain eagle-eyed television watchers could have seen a producer scolding a woman in the second row for scribbling notes during performances. Sorry for sullying the High Art that is Dancing With the Stars, America! Bright side is that a certain editor now has photographic evidence of my diligence.

Aside from being caught writing in pencil (shudder!) on national television, being in the audience for the show is always fun. Not only do you get a good workout from all the standing up and sitting down and standing up and sitting down and encouraged enthusiastic clapping, but you also get a glimpse of all the magic that is not seen on camera. For instance, Derek and Julianne Hough’s mom was on set and danced with her son on stage during a commercial break. And Bruno Tonioli takes his judging very seriously, leaning way over the table to get a good look at everyone’s feet. And shout out to the warm-up artist who always clapped first, clapped longest and made sure the people in the balcony didn’t forget to cheer. Many current celebrities (Demi Moore, Milo Ventimiglia and Soleil Moon Frye) and former contestants (Amy Purdy, Melissa Rycroft, Antonio Sabàto Jr., Florence Henderson and Bethany Mota) were in attendance too, making it easier to seem cool while blithely cheering when the warm-up artist gave a Dancing With the Stars T-shirt to a 100-year-old woman in the audience. Good times were had by all, except for the star who had to leave the show at the end of the night.

Here’s what happened on Dancing With the Stars live:

Patti LaBelle and Artem Chigvintsev: During the opening package, Patti said she was excited to wear a bikini for the spring-break dance and then loudly yelled, “Psych!” Their quickstep was fun and lively, so lively that halfway through the performance one shoe went flying off her foot. So she danced with one shoe, much to the amusement of everyone. She later told me that she actually wanted both shoes to come off, but one got stuck, so she just went with it. Head judge Len Goodman said it best when he called her “cool by the pool,” laughingly adding that it was “the best dance of the night so far.” It was the only dance of the night, Len. 29/40

Nastia Liukin and Derek Hough: These two pros have raised the bar so high that it’s clear they are being judged on a different scale than the rest of the competitors. Their tango was fun to watch, especially because the Spring Break tie-in seemed to be “Barbecue Mishap” thanks to a set design that involved shooting flames followed by an intense blast of fog. The judges worried that Nastia was relying too much on her gymnastics training and not losing herself in the artistry of dance. After the show, I asked her what she planned to do with that critique and she said she had no idea. Derek had a few thoughts, though, but most of them involved copious amounts of alcohol. (Note: neither of them drink, so it should make for a fun night.) 34/40

Willow Shields and Mark Ballas: For their routine, Mark and Willow decided to do a Whiplash-themed salsa number to the song “Tequila.” Only on Dancing With the Stars, kids! Sadly, not one judge made a “not quite my tempo” joke, mostly because the routine was fast-paced fun that stuck to the beat. 34/40

Robert Herjavec and Kym Johnson: The Shark Tank star, who is used to success, was crushed by his low scores last week, and when he heard he had to do the jive, he was convinced the producers had it out for him. The routine set to “Surfin’ Safari” was a light-hearted romp, but unfortunately Robert’s timing was off again. Carrie Ann Inaba said, “All the steps were there, just not in the right time.” She softened the blow by pointing out that it was better than last week. 28/40

Noah Galloway and Sharna Burgess: Fight! Fight! The opening package showed Sharna snapping at the veteran during rehearsal. This upset Noah, because he believes Sharna is really nice and wants the world to know it. To prove that their chemistry is intact, they danced a sensual rumba that conjured up a lot of heat (mostly due to the faux campfire set up on stage). The judges used the words hip action a lot in complimenting Noah’s dancing and told him not to worry about the rehearsal footage. Best part of their number came later when the cameras were off and host Tom Bergeron squatted over the fake campfire, heating up his slacks and announcing, “I’m making Hot Pockets!” to no one in particular. 29/40

Rumer Willis and Val Chmerkovskiy: Rumer and Val were assigned the task of creating a jazz routine to Destiny Child’s “Bootylicious.” It’s a high bar to beat the women of Destiny’s Child on the dance floor, but Val managed to choreograph a memorable routine with Rumer bravely stepping in for Beyoncé. (She earned Patti LaBelle’s seal of approval by letting Patti pat the merchandise, so to speak.) The routine would have been applauded on So You Think You Can Dance, but some of the judges (Len mostly) thought it was too raunchy. He proclaimed, “It’s a ballroom not a bedroom!” Val agreed, but bravely noted that the producers assigned him that song and that dance and he just went with what he thought they wanted. Obviously Bruno loved the routine asking them to give him all the “hot and raunchy.” 32/40

Chris Soules and Witney Carson: The Bachelor was berated by Julianne last week for his lack of musicality, so to prove he had it, the producers whipped together a little montage of him dancing to “Let’s Hear it for the Boy” from Footloose, a movie with which Julianne is well acquainted. Chris applied his newfound musicality in his Viennese Waltz to Grease track “Hopelessly Devoted to You” — in a merry-go-round in a dense fog, because why not, right? The judges loved it, and Julianne high-fived him for his incredible improvement. 31/40

Riker Lynch and Allison Holker: It became clear that my neighbors were all related to Riker when they erupted in incredible loud cheers the moment he hit the stage for his Samba. As usual for Riker, the routine was fast and furious and nearly flawlessly executed. While Len thought he “moved like Spider-man,” which is apparently a bad thing, Bruno was effusive in his praise, alliterating an entire string of adjectives to great effect. Then he and Carrie Ann gave Riker 10s. 37/40

Team YOLO: Team captain Nastia chose Willow, Noah and Robert for her team and then promptly left, because she lives in New York and won’t be there for rehearsals. She returned a few days before showtime to discover they had choreographed a big beach party. The routine was light and airy and each of the solo numbers were solid, but the best part was when Mark Ballas kicked a beach ball squarely into the face of a tiny teenager who was part of a crowd gathered around the stage for the routine. The girl did an admirable job not flipping her lid or even flinching when it happened. The judges gave the team 39/40.

Team Trouble: Team captain Rumer invited Riker, Patti and Chris to dance on her team. They quickly settled on a Breakfast Club inspired school scene with Patti playing a strict teacher to a group of bratty teens. Unfortunately a prop chalkboard blocked most of the routine from my seat, but the parts that I could see were entertaining, especially Chris as a shirtless jock ripping open his letterman jacket and throwing Witney Carson in the air cheerleader style. 39/40

Who’s in Jeopardy: Patti, Riker, Robert and Noah. Noah and Riker were clearly filler, so they were sent back to safety quickly, leaving Robert and Patti to sweat it out.

Who Went Home: Patti LaBelle. The grand dame of Dancing With the Stars. When I spoke with her after the show she was very positive about the experience and wasn’t sorry to be going home at all. Viva LaBelle!

TIME Television

Watch John Oliver Deliver a Trademark Takedown of Patent Trolls

"At least trolls actually do something," said Oliver

John Oliver used his Last Week Tonight soapbox to deliver a searing take down of the U.S. patent system. Patents, or as Oliver calls them “legally binding dibs,” are an integral part of business, at least according to the judges on Shark Tank.

While patents are an essential protection against theft for inventors, there are those who abuse the system — the so-called patent trolls who stockpile patents and threaten possible infringers with frivolous lawsuits. Oliver thinks calling them “patent trolls” is insulting to trolls. “At least trolls actually do something,” he quips, “they control bridge access for goats and ask people fun riddles.”

Patent trolls force businesses to shell out tons of money, which can impede innovation, particularly in the software industry. Large companies, too, can hinder the success of small businesses by charging them huge sums to license patents that cover very simple ideas.

“This system is insane,” ranted Oliver. As usual, he reserves some ire for lawyers, noting that letting trial lawyers make decisions about “more baseless lawsuits” was the equivalent of “letting raccoons make laws about trash can placement.”

TIME Television

Watch John Oliver Get Martin Sheen to Do a Doomsday Video

Talk about perfect casting

A few months ago it was revealed that CNN had made a tape to be played in case of the end of the world. The news network’s doomsday video featured a marching band playing the religious dirge of a song “Nearer, My God, to Thee,” a tune that was reportedly played on the Titanic when (spoiler alert) it sank.

Last Week Tonight host John Oliver was convinced that “French-Canadian space mermaid” Celine Dion’s heartfelt ode “My Heart Will Go On” was the last song heard on the Titanic and when he learned that was not the case, he decided to take matters into his own hands and improve CNN’s video for them.

Who ya gonna call when you need an end-of the-world video? Former West Wing Commander in Chief, President Josiah Bartlet, a.k.a. Martin Sheen, naturally.

“Hello, I’m Martin Sheen,” the video begins, “and I’m afraid if you are watching this the End Times are upon us. Whether because of war, disease or a genetically modified dinosaur, our world is now only moments away from total annihilation.” The video, posted above, goes on to celebrate the greatest things about humanity’s time on earth. Like, oh, shark tunnels and Segways.

TIME Television

How Ari Millen Learned to Act With Himself After Joining Orphan Black‘s Clone Club

BBC America Ari Millen in Orphan Black

Luckily, Tatiana Maslany was around to help

When Ari Millen signed on to play Mark, a clean-cut member of the extremist Prolethean religious sect on the electrifying sci fi show Orphan Black, he had no idea that by the end of Season Two he would be the face of a new line of militaristic male clones. “It wasn’t until two weeks before we shot the season finale of season two that they let me know,” Millen says. “It was a big surprise to me too!”

The surprise was made even bigger due to the fact that Millen had originally been told that his character was going to die. Instead, in the show’s third season, which launches April 18 on BBC America, Millen plays not only Mark, but also Rudy, an unbalanced soldier with a serious facial scar; Seth, a mustachioed piece of muscle; and Miller, a soldier with a prosthetic leg. And there could be even more characters bearing Millen’s face as the mysteries of the male clone program, Project Castor, are revealed.

For Millen, who previously had small roles on Rookie Blue, The CW’s Reign and SyFy’s 12 Monkeys, his one-season arc has transformed into what could potentially be the role of a lifetime. Getting your acting dream job means a lot of hard work, though. “To say it isn’t a challenge would be a lie, but it’s a fun challenge,” says Millen. “To get on a show and get to play one character is a successful moment in any actor’s career. To get to express yourself creatively in several ways on the same show is a dream.”

After producers told him that his role was going to be drastically expanded (or cloned, if you will), Millen had to figure out, logistically as well as artistically, how to make it work. “Luckily I had the whole off-season to formulate it in my head and figure out who these guys were,” he says. “I wasn’t thrown into the deep end right away.”

He’s also fortunate in that he’s walking a path trailblazed by Tatiana Maslany, who plays an evolving number of clones on the show with a seeming effortlessness. Millen seems poised to follow suit, thanks in part to Maslany’s guidance. “She’s one of the most supportive people you would ever want to be teamed up with,” says Millen. “For me, I do a lot of learning visually. So at the clone dance party, I went in and I watched her maneuver through some of the technical aspects. I saw how she moved from one character to the other and I got a little idea of how to do it. Through season three, whenever I got the chance I would just watch. If I saw something that I hadn’t thought of, I would try it out and see if it worked for me.”

Another difficult task facing Millen this season is that while Maslany’s clones run the gamut of personality types, Millen’s clones are all cut from a similar tightly-wound military cloth, making differentiating between them even more challenging. “The biggest challenge for me is, Project Castor grew up self aware. Because of that, they are a lot more similar than Project Leda. So I tried to find to find small little differences between the similarities,” says Millen. “Sometimes it was hard to switch between them, but luckily I had very patient screen partners, and if a scene came out too Rudy and I needed to make it more Mark, we would just do another take.”

In each scene, to determine how each of the clones he plays will interact with all the other clones he’s playing, Millen has to plan ahead. “Normally, I will approach a scene and think, ‘Okay, I’m this character and this where they want to go and this is what they want to get at.’ The huge challenge this season is planning both sides of the scene, making sure that both voices are heard, because when you shoot the scene, you can only do one character at a time. At the beginning, I would sometimes forget that in a few hours I would have to be on the other side, talking to myself,” says Millen. “I’ve had to learn to give and take with myself, which is really weird.”

Millen works with a body double, Nick Abraham, who stands in for him while he maps how he and his clones will act out a scene. “We would discuss the scene beforehand, run it with Nick, and run it again with the tennis balls,” says Millen. “That was really interesting. I don’t think you can prepare for acting, or reacting, to a tennis ball. It’s a really weird process.”

TIME Music

David Hasselhoff’s New Video Is a Perfectly Ridiculous 80s Throwback

The surprise ode to '80s action flicks is a must watch

If you’re going to watch one music video today — or ever — make it the surprise video dropped by none other than David Hasselhoff.

The video for “True Survivor” — which is from the Kickstarter-funded film Kung Fury — is straight out of the star’s Knight Rider days and while it doesn’t have his computerized car K.I.T.T., it does have a white Lamborghini, an overactive fog machine, fingerless gloves and a slick beat.

The clip mixes up everything from keytars to 8-bit hacking to dinosaurs, vikings, flamethrowers, roundhouse-kicking cops, people walking away from explosions without looking back and so much more. And naturally, it all ends with Hasselhoff riding a dinosaur into the sunset. The video bodes well for Kung Fury, David Sandberg’s throwback martial arts comedy about a vengeful cop who travels back in time to kill the Nazis, but end up bringing in vikings and Thor to finish the deed. With a plot like that, it should be no surprise the film exceeded its Kickstarter goal of $200,000, and brought in well over $600,000.

TIME Internet

Video Imagines Titanic Movie as an 8-Bit Video Game

It looks like Jack has stepped in for Mario

Love for Titanic will go on (like Celine Dion’s heart), thanks to this 8-bit retelling of the tragic story.

Cinefix, who have also made 8-bit versions of The Fast and the Furious and Wes Anderson’s The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, have turned their creative energies on James Cameron’s 1997 Titanic, which starred Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet as a lovestruck couple on an ill-fated cruise.

Now fans of the heart-wrenching saga of Jack and Rose can relive their adventures aboard the unsinkable ship that turned out to be 100% sinkable in a fun 8-bit video game inspired video. Thanks to the retro format, as you watch the Jack and Rose avatars run the gamut of the doomed ship in a bid to survive, it looks like Jack has stepped in for Mario as he works to save the princess, and it would not be a surprise to see Donkey Kong show up and re-arrange the deck chairs.

Watch now, but if you haven’t seen the film (get on that), then beware: There are definitely spoilers.

TIME Business

IKEA Is Getting Into the Wedding Business


Attention brides, if you’ve imagined your wedding as all love and part Google hangout, IKEA has a wedding plan for you. The store known for its low price, high design furniture (and dislike of hide-and-seek) is getting into the digital wedding business, or in IKEA-speak, Bröllop online.

Don’t worry, you won’t be required to serve Swedish meatballs (vegan or otherwise) at the reception. Instead, IKEA’s new wedding service allows couples to invite wedding guests from all over the world and bring them together virtually using their computer’s microphone and webcam. That means if Great Uncle Al refuses to be in the same room as Great Aunt Alice after the Great Wedding Debacle of ’08, they can both attend the ceremony via computer. Additionally, if your dream destination is unaffordable or just unreachable for most guests or if relatives are stuck overseas, invitees can beam in to the party, presuming there is a good internet connection. Couples can even pick a virtual theme in lieu of an actual destination wedding. No word if you can get married inside an IKEA store, though.

[H/T Daily Dot]

TIME Television

Here’s an Iron Throne Toilet for the Ultimate Game of Thrones Fan

One throne to rule them all

HBO’s online store has everything for the diehard Game of Thrones fan, from house sigil shot glasses to Lannister hoodies to a Dothraki language guide to figurines of Khal Drogo and Daenerys Targaryen. One thing it doesn’t have? A working toilet replica of the Iron Throne. Fans who wanted to swap their porcelain throne for an Iron one were out of luck. Until now.

Some ingenious Game of Thrones fans requested a working replica of the Iron Throne as a toilet and the creative minds at YouTube channel Awe Me delivered. The video and possible how-to-guide shows the industrious crafters, sculptors and prop masters behind Super Fan Builds creating the Iron Throne out of parts like wood, epoxy resin, urethane, neoprene foam and, naturally, a toilet.

If the Iron Throne sits in the only bathroom in the house, there’s no doubt the game of thrones will be quite intense.

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