TIME Television

The Bachelor Watch: Hometown Dates

CHRIS SOULES, BECCA
Richard Carlson—ABC

The drama continues — and so does the kissing

Welcome back to The Bachelor. Last night, while some of us were watching Bradley Cooper make out with Betty White, Saturday Night Live’s 40th anniversary special, Chris Soules was making out with lots of ladies and having a heart-to-heart talk with Megan. He decided that it wasn’t worth bringing her to Iowa, which is pretty harsh, if you think about it. The rest of the women got to travel to Chris’ hometown to see what their future could hold. Most were not impressed with the shutdown town, but Britt was really, really not impressed and couldn’t fake it. She tried, but Carly called her out on it to Chris. Then Britt finally realized that “her boyfriend” was dating six other women and that was not O.K. with her. She had a mini-meltdown when Chris gave Kaitlyn a date rose, and Chris finally got to see the Britt that Carly had warned him about. The show ended with him thinking about what he really wanted out of a wife and the show.

Here’s what happened on The Bachelor:

First Date: While Chris is still reeling from his conversation with Britt, he wants to clear his head and focus on Becca. They wander through the streets of some Iowan urban hotspot. “It’s not Italy or Belgium,” explains Chris, perhaps mistaking Becca for Megan, who wasn’t positive that New Mexico was in the U.S. Then they retire to his “loft,” where Becca tells Chris that she has never been in love before, even though she dated her ex for four years. Chris shrugs and asks her if she wants to go “watch the sunset,” which is a pretty good line. They make out as the sun sets and it looks like the cover of a Harlequin Romance.

The Drama, Part One: Britt announces to the women that she has packed her stuff and is going to leave before the Rose Ceremony. She starts crying as she explains that she told Chris she wanted to be his wife and could see a life together and Chris gave the rose to someone else. It’s like she just realized the entire point of this show. Carly throws Britt a professional-grade eye roll.

The Rose Ceremony, Part One: Jade needs to tell Chris that she did some nude modeling (scamper off and Google that if you must, but come right back) because she’s not bringing him home to meet her family if he’s not into his possible fiancée being a Playboy model. Britt needs to tell Chris that she’s leaving, because her heart isn’t in it, because she doesn’t think his heart is in it (scamper off and parse that if you must, but come right back). With all these Very Important Conversations needing to be had, Chris (a.k.a. the producers) cancel the cocktail party and head straight into the Rose Ceremony.

The Drama, Part Two: The women line up like suspects and Chris files in to name the culprit, but before he can get a word out, Britt demands a private audience. The women give her a collective eye roll and try to guess her play (consensus: she wants him to beg her to stay). Britt apologizes to Chris for her Arlington-bashing behavior, but Chris seems to have already made his decision. While Britt wants to talk about feelings and stuff, Chris tells her that Carly bad-mouthed her and he loved that Carly did that. Then he sends her home for not displaying properly wifely behavior. Britt ugly cries (well, as ugly as she is capable of) in the front yard, but not over Chris, but because of Carly’s betrayal.

The Rose Ceremony, Part Two: Reunited with the remaining women, Chris thanked his anonymous sources (Carly) for stabbing Britt in the back. He is on this journey to find a life partner and for him that means someone who loves Iowa or at least is really good at lying about it. Kaitlyn already has her rose, so Chris gives the first rose to Whitney, followed by Becca. The final rose goes to Jade, which is fine, but also hilarious considering the fact that he just thanked Carly for her intel on Britt. Carly uses her long ride back to the airport to question everything about herself and wallow in self-pity. It’s a long drive.

The Final Four: Chris is going to visit the hometowns of a veritable Whitman’s Sampler of women including a Playboy model, a virgin, a fertility nurse and a dance instructor.

Becca’s Hometown Date: Chris goes to meet Becca in her hometown in Louisiana. Becca admits to Chris that she has never brought a guy home before. Once they arrive at the family homestead, her sister sits Chris down for a chat about the fact that Becca “has never had the urge” to be with a man, that she’s “not an intimate person.” Becca’s mom tells him that she has some concerns too, and while Chris should start to see giant red flags flapping over Becca’s head, instead he hopes that he can be the man Becca has been waiting for. Becca’s sister then pulls Becca aside for some real talk and points out that she’s getting ever closer to the Fantasy Suite, and maybe she should tell Chris that she’s a virgin? Becca thinks the Fantasy Suite would be a great time to tell him she’s a virgin, presumably because then he can’t dump her without looking like a jerk. Then she makes out with him in a ferris wheel and proves all the haters wrong, because she can be intimate with a man in public.

Whitney’s Hometown Date: The second Chris arrives in Chicago, Whitney asks him if he wants to go make a baby. Really. Someone’s child could have been a prop on The Bachelor. So jealous. Whitney takes him to her fertility office and gives him the grand tour, including making an embryo. Chris notes, “I make corn,” which may be the best line ever on the show. Whitney and her boss discuss collecting a sample from Chris and then there is more conversation about sperm than one would have thought allowed on a Disney/ABC property. Chris loves that Whitney loves her job and is so excited to bring her to Arlington, Iowa, where they have no fertility clinic, and she will have to make her own babies. Whitney was raised by a single mother who has since passed away, so Chris meets her uncle, sister and grandmother. Chris wants to ask Whitney’s sister’s blessing for marriage, but she won’t do it. She wants whoever marries her little sister to know that she’s the one. She tells Chris to call her when he knows. Respect. Later, Whitney tells Chris that she has fallen in love with him. Chris kisses her, of course, because that is his response to every situation.

Kaitlyn’s Hometown Date: While Kaitlyn is actually as Canadian as Alan Thicke, her family winters in Arizona. So Chris flies to Phoenix, and Kaitlyn shoves him in a recording studio to make a rap song. It’s as bad as you think. Then Chris goes to meet Kaitlyn’s divorced parents, their new spouses and her brother, which is way less awkward of a dinner party that you would expect. Kaitlyn makes her mother stare into her eyes until she knows whether Kaitlyn is in love and her mother determines that she is. Then Kaitlyn takes Chris to a dark street and unveils a billboard that reads “Kaitlyn <3 Chris.” He kisses her, because, of course.

Jade’s Hometown Date: Chris has long held on to the belief that despite the fact that Jade lives in L.A., she could survive in Arlington, because she grew up in Gehring, Neb. As soon as they arrive in town, Chris goes to have a man-to-man talk with Jade’s father in the shadow of his well-stocked gun locker. Chris eventually wins his grudging approval, so long as Chris promises to accept Jade for who she is. Jade’s brother points out that she is a “wild mustang” who fled Nebraska and hasn’t looked back. Chris shrugs. Then Jade and her dad cry on the couch. Chris and Jade head to his hotel, and that’s when Jade decides to tell him she posed for Playboy. She softens the blow by showing him the pictures. She asks him if he wants to see them and he looks around like, is this a trap?, and tries to figure out how to answer that question on ABC. He surprisingly gracefully says it’s about her, and her comfort level. She whips out the laptop and shows all the pictures. Chris is then put in the awkward position of watching porn on primetime television. He handles it well enough, muttering something about respecting her and not judging her for her past. Then they make out.

The Rose Ceremony: Whitney got the all-important first rose a.k.a. the frontrunner rose. Kaitlyn got the second rose, leaving Jade and Becca vying for the final rose. Would he pick the woman with intimacy issues or the one without? He chose Becca. It’s not entirely clear that he passed on Jade because of her past, because she really hasn’t opened up much during the process, until she, you know, opened up everything. Chris takes her outside and assures her it has nothing to do with her photos, but explains that things just went faster with some of the other girls. Chris tries not to cry in the lobby of the hotel as Jade leaves, wondering if he made a mistake. Um, Chris? You let a Playboy model and identified “wild mustang” leave before Fantasy Suite night. Obviously you are making a mistake.

Best Reason to Come Back Next Week: Fantasy Suites in Bali!

TIME Television

Watch John Oliver Burn Big Tobacco

The HBO late night host sets his sights on the tobacco industry's big business in overseas markets

Last week on Last Week Tonight John Oliver called the pharmaceutical industry to task for marketing to doctors and hard-hitting advertising and then controversially announced that we are all like Radio Shack.

This week, Oliver took on an equally controversial topic: Big Tobacco. To kick off his take-down, Oliver rolled out a vintage ’70s video clip of a Philip Morris CEO saying (with a straight face) that while it’s true that women who smoke have smaller babies, “some women prefer to have smaller babies.”

Since then the U.S. government has restricted tobacco advertising and sales, which according to Oliver, has resulted in falling adult smoking rates, going from about 43% in 1965 to about 18% today. Yet despite the decline in smokers in the U.S., a 2008 report found that tobacco is more profitable than ever — a phenomenon that Oliver compares to the continuing popularity of the band U2.

According to Oliver, the tobacco industry has managed such a feat by targeting developing nations and using the legal system to block restrictions on advertising and health warnings. He illustrates his point through a jaw-dropping array of clips from around the world (a Marlboro sponsored smoking kiosk outside a school!) and the mind-boggling attempts by Big Tobacco to stop an Australian law that slapped gruesome and graphic health warnings on cigarette packages.

According to Oliver, Philip Morris International itself is suing the country of Uruguay, a battle so expensive that Uruguay has had to seek help paying their legal fees from such unlikely sources as former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg. The tobacco industry has sent legal letters to countries like Togo, Namibia, and even the Solomon Islands, which Oliver points out has a population of 600,000.

To help the fight, Oliver has offered a new advertising campaign free of charge to Big Tobacco: Jeff the diseased lung. He even paid for ads in Uruguay and sent t-shirts emblazoned with Jeff to Togo. If Big Tobacco wants to remain profitable, they may want to take him up on the free advertising.

Watch the full clip below.

 

TIME Television

SNL 40: Andy Samberg and Adam Sandler Sing Ode to Laugh Breaks

Mostly it's an ode to Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz

There are two types of Saturday Night Live fans: Those who love it when the actors break character and crack up laughing in the middle of scenes, and those who claim to hate it (but probably secretly love it).

Breaking character to laugh happened often enough over the years that it made sense to commemorate such episodes on Saturday Night Live’s 40th anniversary show. To mark the many, many occasions when cast members cracked each other up, two of the biggest culprits — Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg — teamed up on “That’s When You Break,” an ode to getting the giggles when you’re supposed to be on the job.

While the song pointed out that the show’s executive producer Lorne Michaels loved it when the actors started laughing mid-sketch (there may have been some sarcasm there), it also called out some of the worst offenders — specifically, Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz, who seemingly never managed to stay in character. Of course, when you work on a show this funny, it’s just a hazard of the job.

TIME Television

Check Out the Incredible Montage of Musical Sketches From SNL History

King Tut lives (again)

Martin Short needed a little energy boost before hosting an incredible look back at Saturday Night Live’s most memorable musical sketches created over the past 40 years. His friend Steve Martin helped get the word out about Short’s Coke addiction:

Short made it out of the dressing room to introduce Maya Rudolph, who came out in full Beyoncé to help fulfill segment-hosting duties.

From there it was a trip down musical memory lane with appearances by Garth and Kat (that’s Fred Armisen and Kristen Wiig) and Adam Sandler.

Bill Murray sang the “Love Theme From Jaws” as Nick the Lounge Singer and Kenan Thompson brought out Diondre Cole for a reunion with Jason Sudeikis’ overzealous What Up With That’s back-up dancer. Steve Martin brought King Tut out of the sarcophagus for one more dance:

Will Ferrell as Marty Culp and Ana Gasteyer as Bobbi Mohan-Culp brought the Culp Family Musical Performances out of presumed retirement for a rousing medley of slowed-down modern hits.

Overall the montage was a highlight of a show filled with highlights.

TIME Television

Jerry Seinfeld Ribs Larry David, Dakota Johnson and Brian Williams on SNL 40

The audience Q&A is one to watch

Jerry Seinfeld showed up at the Saturday Night Live anniversary to host a Q&A session with the audience. But before he took a single question he delivered a zinger at the expense of NBC News host Brian Williams, noting that Williams had told him that he hosted the show back in the ’70s. (Seinfeld wasn’t the only one to target Williams, either. Earlier, Jim Carrey made it awkward on the red carpet by asking Matt Lauer about Williams.)

Seinfeld then took some questions from the celebrity-packed audience, which may rival the Golden Globes or Academy Awards when it comes to stars-per-square-foot, packed as it was with former hosts, musical guests, past cast members and friends of the show. First, Michael Douglas wanted to know why he, Hollywood royalty and a self-titled “sexual icon,” had only been asked to host the show once. Seinfeld did his best to explain that people who hosted a lot were always available and “pathetic,” which, of course, offended people like John Goodman who has hosted 13 times (a.k.a. “a Goodman’s dozen”).

James Franco asked the audience at large, “Did you get my email?” and 50 Shades of Grey star Dakota Johnson asked for hosting tips (she’s fronting the show on Feb. 28). Then former Alaska governor Sarah Palin asked how much Lorne Michaels would pay her to run for President in 2016 — and bring Donald Trump as her running mate. Seinfeld assured her that it would be priceless. Former SNL cast member Ellen Cleghorne wanted to know why there aren’t more black women in the world in general.

Then Seinfeld alighted on his old friend Larry David who had just one question: “Was I really a writer here?” Turns out he wrote for the show for one season. It was David who got the last laugh when Seinfeld asked him if he was going to the after party, and David got a look of abject horror on his face shaking his head, “No, no, no.”

Watch the full clip below.

TIME Television

Watch Tina Fey Get Eaten By a Land Shark on SNL 40’s Weekend Update

Plus, Emma Stone, Amy Poehler, Jane Curtin and more

It was a Weekend Update for the ages when Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Jane Curtin took control of the famed news desk on Saturday Night Live’s 40th anniversary show. The incredible all-star trio swapped barbs about the show’s history and delivered a few topical jokes, including Curtin taking a jab at Fox News saying, “I used to be the only pretty blonde woman reading the news. Now, there’s a whole network devoted to that.”

Then they brought on a few celebrity guests to help bring the past to life. Emma Stone did an admirable take on Gilda Radner’s Roseanne Rosannadanna. Edward Norton was a passable Stefon, even cracking himself up like Bill Hader always did when playing the club reporter, before Hader and his “husband” Seth Meyers showed up to stare him down.

When there was a knock on the door, Curtin warned Fey it was always a Land Shark, but instead it was Melissa McCarthy paying tribute to Chris Farley.

While everyone was distracted by fake Farley’s antics, the infamous Land Shark showed up and devoured Fey.

Curtin tried to warn her, but Fey just didn’t believe her, until it was too late. At least now Fey has a good excuse for not hosting the Golden Globes again.

TIME Television

SNL 40: Bradley Cooper Makes Out With Betty White as Taylor Swift Watches

Kerry Washington, Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, Vanessa Bayer and Fred Armisen all starred in "The Californians"

SNL‘s soap opera, “The Californians,” traditionally stars Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader as blond Californians happily doling out driving directions to one another in Valley accents, while their brunette housekeeper, played by Vanessa Bayer, barely tolerates them.

To properly mark the 40th anniversary of Saturday Night Live, they needed to up the ante a little bit and brought in some A-list guests to help. First Scandal star Kerry Washington showed up as a doctor doling out paternity-test results. Then Bradley Cooper arrived in short shorts, which he may have borrowed from the set of the Wet Hot American Summer reboot, as Craig the pool boy who dabbled in dirty work, and Taylor Swift was a natural as hair-eating cousin Allison.

And then this happened …

Yes, that’s Bradley Cooper lip locking with the 90-year-old Betty White for a little longer than absolutely necessary. In the words of another SNL star: “Acting!”

TIME Television

Watch the Most Epic Game of Celebrity Jeopardy Ever on SNL 40

Will Ferrell's Alex Trebek faced off against Sean Connery again

No celebration of Saturday Night Live’s history would be complete without at least one round of Celebrity Jeopardy. Hosted by Will Ferrell as long-suffering host Alex Trebek who is just trying to get the celebrity contestants to finish one lousy round of Jeopardy.

That’s not likely to happen, though, with Sean Connery’s (Darrell Hammond) thick Scottish accent interfering with his ability to ask questions, Norm MacDonald’s Burt Reynolds insisting on answering imaginary questions about Andre the Giant, Alec Baldwin’s Tony Bennett, and Kate McKinnon’s Justin Bieber taking off midgame and having his lawyer stand in for him.

Halfway through the sketch, Jim Carrey showed up in character as Matthew McConaughey to further torment Trebek with his DIY voiceover, intense eye contact and monologue about his Lincoln.

When the contestants finally made it to a Video Daily Double on the game board, it created an awkward moment when Kenan Thompson reprised his role as Bill Cosby, which an embarrassed “Trebek” explained was “filmed back in June.”

It was a great tribute to one of the best, and longest-lasting, sketches in SNL history.

Watch the full clip below.

TIME Television

Watch Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon Rap the History of SNL

SNL 40 is off to a good start

The 40th anniversary of Saturday Night Live got off to a raucous start with Jimmy Fallon seemingly prepared to do a soft shoe opening routine, only to be interrupted by Justin Timberlake. They quickly turn the opener into the history of SNL in rap.

They give shout-outs to everyone from The Californians to Mister Bill, Gumby and The Coneheads and, naturally, the Ambiguously Gay Duo and Dick in a Box.

They continue to rap their way through the annals of SNL history until getting interrupted by Rachel Dratch as Debbie Downer, who shows up to remind viewers that, “History has shown that opening the show with a musical number translates to a sharp drop in ratings.”

Fallon and Timberlake shrug and continue through their litany of the best of SNL comedy sketches, including The Blues Brothers, threatening to pump us up a la Hans and Franz, giving Garth and Wayne their due with a solid, “Schwing!” and shouting for “More Cowbell!” That’s when they are interrupted by Molly Shannon as Mary Katherine Gallagher claiming that, “The sound of cowbell makes her nervous.” When she gets nervous she puts her hands under her armpits and then gives them a good sniff.

Fallon and Timberlake continue through the most beloved sketches in Saturday Night Live history before finally declaring the magic words, “Live from New York it’s Saturday Night!”

TIME Television

No Such Thing as Too Many Hosts for SNL 40’s Epic Opening Monologue

Miley Cyrus, Paul McCartney, Tom Hanks, Billy Crystal, Steve Martin and so many many more.

Saturday Night Live is pulling out all the stops for the 40th anniversary and that meant a high bar for the opening monologue. Steve Martin started the show, which was a brilliant choice. Despite never being an official cast member, he has appeared on the show a mind-boggling 27 times and is responsible for some of its most memorable sketches. (King Tut, anyone?)

Martin set out to give a rousing speech on the importance of comedians in SNL history, but was quickly interrupted by Tom Hanks demanding that actors be given the same status.

Never to be outdone, Alec Baldwin arrived (sans “Schweddy Balls”) on the stage to point out that he had hosted more than anyone else (16 times and counting!). To bust up the guys’ club, Melissa McCarthy arrived to remind the world that people other than “80-year-old white guys” had hosted the show.

Then Miley Cyrus, Chris Rock and Peyton Manning all arrived in rapid succession, followed by Billy Crystal, introducing himself to Martin: “It’s Steve, right?” Not satisfied with having a billion dollars worth of star power on stage, Sir Paul McCartney and Paul Simon arrived on the scene to play a few bars, too.

Even by SNL standards, that’s an impressive opener.

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